Catcup

The first I remember hearing about the gift = bribe stuff was around 1994-95, at least in the corps. At that time, an elderly aunt and uncle of mine who had no living children, were hoping I would help take care of them in their old age. As my manner was, for many, many years I had looked in on them and did things for them whenever I was in town (I lived 8 hours away). After some time, my aunt took me aside and showed me they made out their will to leave their entire estate, lock, stock, and barrel, to my daughter. This couple had always been my favorite aunt and uncle. They had lost both of their children in infancy and doted on me as I grew up. They constantly looked out for not only me, but also my other cousins when it came to birthdays and Christmas, and always chauffered us around when we came to visit them in St. Louis, taking us to museums, ballparks, zoos, etc., to make sure we were properly entertained and cared for. Also, when my Dad was on strike or laid off for months at a time, they always made sure we never wanted for anything during those hard times. They were very giving folks. In their old age, they truly had no one to look after them since both of their children were dead, so I had always been conscious of my responsibility to check in on them as best I could, whenever I was in town. I would have done it whether or not they left my daughter a penny. However, Martindale's rantings caused me to look at the situation with suspicion, and I eventually openly questioned them as to whether they felt they were buying my care. This offended them and hurt them deeply, and though after some time we were back on "good" terms, they disinherited my daughter. I don't regret the loss of inheritance for my daughter. What I regret is hurting and disappointing people I cared for deeply, and causing them worry for their futures in their old age. I believe many of Martindale's policies were not only hypocritical, but reflective of his own paranoias. This one in particular. Simply madness taking over his brain and infiltrating his policies, reverberating in stupidity and hurt .

This avatar is my first and only one. But yes, that's where the name "Catcup" came from. When composing my first post on WayDale, I realized I needed a "handle" in order to post. When I was pondering what I should use as a "handle," I was holding onto the handle on my favorite Laurel Burch mug. It was a white mug covered in cloisonne cats. I therefore concluded my handle would be "Catcup." :)

Done! It is sad to see talent wasted. My daughter, who is currently in college studying vocal performance, recently returned from her grandmother's birthday party and was saddened to learn that her innie cousin had abandoned college to work on HQ staff and sing in their choir. She said it made her sad and mad to see such a waste of talent. She is concerned that her cousin's life will be totally robbed and wasted just like her Aunt and Uncle are doing. Makes me sad, too. We were once pretty close to Geek's brother and his wife. Once we left TWI it was as if we dropped off the face of the planet. Shortly after we left, Geek's brother sent him a birthday card with a really mean and nasty message inside (which I have kept). The "kinder and gentler" TWI has now allowed him to try to stay in contact now and he has been "nicer," but he still has not apologized for the "nastygram" birthday card. He acts like it never happened. No surprise there. And none of his kids who started college, ever finished. It's just sad what a waste it all is.

This avatar dates from my WayDale days. At the time, I could not reveal who I was because I was involved in the lawsuit against TWI. John Linder (Hi, John! ) and others were frantically trying to figure out exactly who were the witnesses against TWI, and exactly what damning information they had. At WayDale I posted insider info that helped expose the ugly underbelly of the cult, with enough detail TWI could tell I had access at high levels, but without revealing to TWI exactly who I was. I exposed things TWI knew to be true, including some personal incidents about VPW & LCM, but TWI had been desperately trying to hide these things from their followers. The avatar represented for me what I wanted to convey to TWI: The cat lurked mysteriously hidden in the background, blinking knowingly, biding its time, in order to pounce and disembowel the next rat that wandered by. For me, the message to TWI was obvious-- it was a warning: You don't know who the hell I am, or what I can do to you, or when I will strike. You approach me at your own peril. I revealed my identity at a place and time of my own choosing, not when TWI wanted. I'm sure jaws dropped when I did.

Have only read Hope's opening posts. Involvement in The Way Corps definitely kept me from going to college. I got into TWI shortly out of high school and was totally devoted to TWI goals, and worked supporting myself as an industrial seamstress. I went WOW after the foundational class, spent the next year as interim Corps in service in leadership positions, and the next year went straight into the 6th Corps. While working at cr@p jobs at Krispy Kreme and McDonald's on my interim year, I knew I needed to attend college in order to get a decent job to support myself, otherwise I would be trapped in menial labor with low wages. When going back for my final year in residence I began to ask about attending college when I graduated. I was told by several overseers even during my first year in residence when I asked about going to college, that VPW was fuming about investing so much time and resources into training Way Corps so they could go out on the field to serve, and then they would end up "shelving" themselves by going to school afterwards. VPW was ok with "finishing up" college during your interim year or after graduation if you started college pre-twi. But at this point in my involvement with TWI, college was discouraged. My final year in residence, I was told that unless VPW personally assigned someone to go to college as a Corps assignment, it was to be put out of mind. I was sharply discouraged from attending college after Corps graduation. I decided to try to learn some secretarial type skills while in residence, but when I asked the work coordinator if I could get transferred from housekeeping into an office to learn the switchboard or something new, He yelled at me and told me it was not The Way Corps' objective to train me for a career. When my husband (not myself) was given the Corps assignment to attend the University of Chicago, the Corps as a whole was also admonished not to go into debt, and school debt even at that time was frowned upon. A neat trick for us to accomplish, since VPW had assigned us to an ivy league university and then admonished the entire Corps to not take out school loans. So while other college-assigned folks still took out school loans under the table, we busted our asses to scrape together tuition for my husband at the University of Chicago (NOT CHEAP!!!!!) while putting a roof over our heads at the same time. My husband started a window washing business while trying to balance his course load and I worked at housekeeping. On the side I learned Aramaic and Syriac on my own. I was invited by Dr. Voobus at The Lutheran School of Theology to attend his graduate level classes for free, when he found out what I was doing on my own. He was really impressed and that was great. But that was simply a language course, even though it was a masters level class. And because it was off the books, I will never get credit for it. But that's ok, I learned what I wanted to learn and it was a privilege he had never extended to anyone else before or since. So, I never even began college until AFTER I left TWI and began to untangle their tentacles from my brain. Now, having proved my academic ability and loaded up on several scholarships which account for much of my tuition at a pricey private college, I still have to take out school loans which is pretty risky at my age. But, I am getting close to finishing my undergraduate degree with two majors and many honors. That alone is very satisfying. However, I often wonder what more I could have accomplished had I gone to school earlier in my life. I also wonder what it will be like to try to find employment even with a degree because of my age, and am also concerned about paying off school loans at my age. I do work as a history tutor at a community college, and will be involved in internships on PBS WWII oral history projects which will help. I also I continue to apply for and get every scholarship available to me to minimize what I will eventually owe. Had I not run into TWI, I would have finished college much earlier and by now my school loans would be paid off. One of the long list of crimes of TWI is the robbery of a person's time and potential. I can go to school. But I will never get back the time invested. That is gone forever.

On the other hand, TWI doctrine may well have failed to "take" on their intended scale, with the children of those who sacrificed their own youth to the beast. I'd be willing to bet a lot of these Kids lived through the BS as children, questioned whether it was BS as adolescents, figured out it was BS as teenagers, decided as young adults they didn't want to waste their own lives in misery like their parents, and have been leaving home and doing as they damn well please for the most part.

I don't think so. But then again, that's me. Maybe you include yourself in the "we," but I don't.

Agreed and affirmed.

I appreciate your questions. You pose them carefully and thoughtfully, and with no intent to offend. I answered your questions for myself, not assuming any intentions on your part, nor insinuating that either you or any other person who reads this thread should believe the same way I do. It is simply my thoughtful answers to your thoughtful questions. Keep thinking, keep searching, keep posting. Peace. I appreciate the way you approach your topic. This is not an easy one for anyone to answer on this board, and questions of this nature can and have spurred some heartfelt but intense responses from time to time. In response, I have tried to express my views without imposing them on you or anyone else.

Not necessarily each and every sin. But I believe VP admitted he knew better. I do believe Jesus laid down a challenge there. But that is a challenge to each person individually. I can answer that for me, but not for you. I can forgive what he did to me, but I do not believe I have the authority to forgive what he did to you. How each person answers that challenge is up to them, between them, that person, and God, and not for me to judge. Forgiving and loving someone who wronged you is a merciful act. And the greater the wrong done, when love and forgiveness is extended, I believe, the greater the mercy extended. Loving someone who is unloveable is definitely God's job. Is it our job? I think it might be. Is it possible to love a person when you disagree with and even abhor their acts? I believe it is. But I believe there are human limits to our ability to do that. I know that I can love a family member if I disagree with and even abhor their acts. But loving them does not negate the fact that I vehemently disagree, abhor, and actively confront what they do. I present them with the opportunity to acknowledge their wrongs and the opportunity to correct it. What they do with that opportunity is up to them. How many times do I extend forgiveness to the person? There is a response from Jesus regarding it. I think you know what it is. Something about "seventy times seven." But I believe the response is a figure of speech meaning you go the extra mile in giving them the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to change. NOT that you give them unlimited opportunities to enter and foul your life. I know I can do that for a family member, and have done it for family members. In doing that, I gave the person/s the ability to overcome their problem and encouraged them to change, and they did. I might even do that for a really close friend. But can I extend forgiveness on to people who even being given repeated opportunities to acknowlege their deeds refuse to do so? People who have so fouled our relationship that I have parted company with out of self-preservation? Can I extend forgiveness to people with whom it is impossible at least for the time being to reconcile myself? That, my friend, remains a work in progress. I do not believe God expects us to continually expose ourselves and our loved ones to harmful influences to our lives. Can I extend forgiveness to a person who is deceased? I think I answered that in my first post. This man had his opportunity to address the wrongs he committed against me and my family when I extended the opportunity to him. He refused to do so. What was in his heart at his last hour none of us can ever know and it is pointless to speculate. That is between him and God alone. I would hope he threw himself at the feet of the Almighty and begged for mercy. I will not speculate on how God answered if VP did. That is up to God and I refuse to try to do his job. But I take heart that VP will eventually answer to God for everything he did.

Happy Birthday, P-ster!

Years ago, I might have believed Mr Linder was misled. However, he has seen for years the testimony of those who have been damaged by TWI, and he knows better. Not only does he know better, but he has also, knowing better, chosen to actively persecute those who left or were in the process of leaving TWI. At some point he is no longer misled, but has knowingly chosen his path.

Setting aside the fact that I don't believe VP can personally communicate anymore outside his recorded words and actions, here are my own thoughts, for what they are worth. They apply to me and do not necessarily reflect what I feel anyone else must do or how anyone else should view VP and forgiveness: The time for VP to ask my forgiveness was while he was yet breathing. He failed to do that. The very best he could do is selfishly hint his regret that he wished he had been the man he knew to be. All that statement said to me is that he knew better than to do what he did, but he chose to do it anyway. Still, admitting that, VP refused to admit what he did, and seek forgiveness from me and my family members while he still could, and when I presented him with the opportunity. I cannot extend God's forgiveness to the man. Only God can do that and that is up to God, not me. I cannot extend forgiveness to VP for what he did to other people. That is up to those whom he wronged, and not me. I can only extend forgiveness, IF I do, to VP for what he did to me. That is MY decision alone, not anyone elses. The only benefit, if there is any at all, to me extending forgiveness to a dead man for what he did to me, is to me, and no one else. I can forgive him for what he did to me if I want, but still know God will ultimately hold him accountable, and I have satisfaction of knowing he will have to stand before God and answer to Him for everything he has done. I can forgive him for what he did to me if I want to, yet not forget the damage he has caused, and refuse to cover the damage he has caused and that his doctrine still causes, and continue to remind others of the dangers of following such false doctrines. I believe I have an obligation to warn others of the dangers that still exist because of what he said, did, and taught others to do. In the end, we cannot deal with "what if." We are left to deal with the facts of what he did, and sadly, the facts of the consequences of his actions. And as far as blood crying to God from the ground: The past few weeks on jury duty I think I understand what blood crying from the ground actually is, and have graphically examined the evidence closer than I really cared to, with gloved hands. We should be reminded that the blood which cries from the ground, in Genesis and what I have seen, is from the victim, NOT the dead perpetrator.

I like it better in the original. Carry on...

For once I have to agree with Satori, but maybe not for the same reasons. The title of this thread insinuates that the person or persons being discussed actually have ambiguous genitalia, the biological condition having nothing to do with sexual orientation. Anybody get an actual glimpse?

That is absolutely why it is so important to ask what may seem like "odd" questions from the outside. The puzzle analogy is how I have always viewed this. We were kept in the dark for so long, and the design was to keep us from comparing notes. That is why when somebody was able to put several pieces together at once and come up with a picture that was contrary to the "party line," they were quickly escorted off grounds, drop-kicked, and/or otherwise defamed and slandered in order to discourage other people with matching pieces from comparing notes together. Still looking for that patch of sky........

There is no substitute for a face-to-face, eye-to-eye meeting where you actually connect with the person. They would have to be prepared to listen to my point of view and hear exactly about the extent of the damage they caused. If the Panarellos actually contacted me and we had such a meeting in which they actually listened to and acknowledged exactly how wrong they were, and apologized to me, my husband, and my daughter for what they did, and were truly sincere, they might find an advocate for their recovery. Because to me, if you are at least willing to admit to me personally that you regret your actions and the harm they caused me personally and to my family, I would be willing to extend forgiveness and actually vouch for the sincerity of your intentions. But no "blanket" statements. Come directly to the people that you damaged, and look them in the eye. In many cases, the damage occurred face to face. So, the healing should take place in the same manner To my face, acknowledge you harmed me and you regret it. Then we can start somewhere. But I doubt that people like Martindale, Wallace, and the Panarellos are made of that kind of courage and humility. I would like nothing more than to be proved wrong on that. Still, I have no illusions. I'm not holding my breath, and going on with my life. They will answer for what theydid. The question is, Would you rather answer for it to me now, Or to Him, later? One way or the other, Larry, Craig, Mark.... You will answer for it.

Panarello's book qualifies as "commercial fiction."

No prob Cappy. And I was just reminded by someone-- The third stooge was Randy Ginn, of Canada....

PB, you don't have to apologize for bringing up old hurt, and Paw knows there is no need to remove this thread. I'm a big girl with a thick skin have held my own against far worse. Cappy, let's see, lemme think a bit... 1994 I was forced to sell my house in Indiana if I wanted to stay WC and take an assignment in Cleveland in 1995. Moved to Cleveland the summer of 1995 in preparation for beginning the assignment in September. Our assignment was to coordinate the Cleveland area. We had been functioning in our assignment here all of three weeks when at a Corps night, Martindale screamed that the entire state of Ohio was so screwed up he was going to have to bring three of his "best men" to the state to "clean it up." A few days later, the three stooges hit the buckeye state: Mark Wallace, Larry Panarello, and I believe, was it Terry Ginn? Yep, it was for sure, 1995. I had to go back and think a bit, but for sure, that is the year. So it was possible Panarello was in the big ATL but was then jerked out of that assignment and plugged into Ohio, as Wallace, I believe, was pulled out of Idaho for that purpose. I don't know where they dug up Ginn, or whoever it was they sent to I think, the Toledo area. I have posted about this incident and others several times on WayDale and GSC, and have always made no bones about the fact that I am not holding my breath waiting for these men to apologize. They will never apologize for something they believe they were correct in doing. And if they realize they blew it but refuse to apologize, then they are bigger cowards than I first believed. I myself have moved on from what happened to me at the hands of The Way International, which is, at least for me, why I come here on what could be described as a "seasonal" basis. I have other pursuits in my life that bring me joy, fulfilment, and give my life meaning, which keep me fairly busy most of the time. However, like other folks here, I go through the effort to bring this up again for people who have no idea what men like Martindale, Wallace, and Panarello et al are capable of. It is the fondest hope of TWI and men like Wallace and Panarello, that we will go away. That the information will eventually fade into the background. While I still have what is left of my own fulfilling life, I feel obligated to prevent others from making similar mistakes in getting involved with TWI and the likes of the Panarellos, and refuse to simply "fade away." I will bear witness to my dying day what these vermin are capable of, and then someone else will take it up. The victory for me is the fact that these people did not win. They will not steal what is left of the rest of my life. I am pursuing my own goals and dreams. While I lost decades of my life to this organization, They did not succeed in ultimately destroying the rest of my life. Where there once was despair, there now is hope. Where there was bitterness and disillusionment, there now is purpose. But I will not surrender to any attempt to silence me. And when I am gone, others will take my place

I challenge Larry Panarello to contact me personally and apologize if he TRULY is remorseful regarding his behavior. One, two, three, four, five, six.... *exhale*.........

So he got a real life taste of what he put others through. For years I worked with dR. Rawlins taking care of her most fearful patients during labor, birth, and postpartum. She told me I was the best doula and CBE she had ever had and it was a privilege to work with me, and gave me a great letter of reference during my certification. When I left TWI, I was told by Ohio's leadership (Panarello and Wallace) that I could not contact her or use her for an employment reference, regardless of how she had viewed my service. "The True Justice of a Just God" indeed. I can only hope it was MY WORDS as a first hand witness of his despicable abusive behavior towards the Ohio Way Corps Alumni in that infamous meeting that potential employers read, and therefore and deprived him of procuring employment. That would have been some true justice. Larry, my phone is still the same. My address is still the same. If you are interested in giving a GENUINE apology, you know what to do.

Yes, exie, you know that as soon as finals are over and I get a chance to catch my breath, I always stop by for a cup of coffee and catch up on what's going on. I'm in between finals and showing up for jury duty, so I decide I have a spare moment to stop in for some java and a cinnamon roll. I log on this morning just to hopefully look at some light stuff for a mental diversion from the intensity of academia, and what comes up but this poor excuse for what I would scrape off the bottom of my shoe. Larry and Connie have always known who I am and how to get in contact with me if they really want to. I still live on the same street and have the same phone number I did when they coordinated the limb in Ohio. They just don't want to. Why? Because they can't stand to face up to what they did to the good people in Ohio, and neither one of them can look me in the eye. Why does Larry not want people to show up on GSC? Because I already took his rear end apart in detail on here and he doesn't want people to see it. --Or run into people who can tell the truth of what this man and this woman are really like. Larry and Connie Panarello are two of the most vicious and heartless people I have ever met, made in the image of Mark Wallace and Craig Martindale. They have had plenty of opportunity to reflect on what they did in Ohio and not ONE person I know of has received an apology. He's not man enough to admit what an idiot he was and own up to the damage he caused. And Connie is just plain bizarre. They particularly delight in playing mind games and power plays. Larry is a military man and familiar with the applications of certain of these tactics. They are very careful who they let get close to them. I always thought it odd that when they first introduced themselves to The Way Corps in this state, they both wore mirrored aviator sunglasses even indoors when being individually introduced to each person. They literally didn't want you to be able to look them in the eye. It was, at least to me, an obvious psychological intimidation tactic on their part at the time. I have posted the details on WayDale and on GSC several times. It pains me to have to drag it up again, and I may not bring every detail out, but I'm gonna bring enough of it forward again just to make sure the lengths that the Panarellos will go to in order to harass innocent people are not forgotten. Not long after taking over the limb assignment in the fall of 1995, Larry and Connie Panarello called a special meeting for anyone who had been dropped from active Way Corps in the State of Ohio. Those of us at the time who were full time staff were to of course come several hours ahead of time to clean the bathrooms and string the chairs. Larry ominously warned us to "be ready" for "whatever reactions might occur" during or after this meeting, implying that it was not beyond the realm of possiblilty that we might see some violence. This tells me he knew the degree of pain he was about to intentionally inflict on people. Recalling his tone and ominous demeanor, I would not have been surprised to know he was packing heat along with two or three other people present. The people called to this meeting, some of whom probably drove 5 or 6 hours to get there, were no longer bound by any Way Corps responsibilities whatsoever. They were not obligated to TWI in any way. However, they still attended fellowships, and definitely supported TWI financially and every other way. When these DFAC and Corps "alumni" showed up to this meeting, Panarello launched into a two to two and a half hour tirade of verbal and emotional abuse, telling these people that they were the worst possible example of the believers, and called them every filthy name in the book, and every imaginable insinuation and accusation, sexually and otherwise was made regarding their lack of integrity and moral character. He let them know that they were absolute scum, and blamed them for making Craig Martindale physically ill every time he looked out into the audience on a Sunday night and saw their faces. And after that, he ordered each and every one of them, yes, ORDERED them, to "pack up their belongings and leave the state of Ohio, IMMEDIATELY." Yes, he ordered these men and women to sell their houses (damn them for owning property) sell their businesses, (moneygrubbing louses) and leave their jobs (your stinking idols) and LEAVE THE STATE BECAUSE THEY MADE CRAIG PHYSICALLY ILL. You could have heard a pin drop. These folks who had already suffered the "disgrace" of being dropped from active Corps for such diabolical reasons as having fallen in love with and married a non-corps person, or had a mortgage on a house or lease on a car, were now told they were horrible examples and were responsible for the deterioration of the physical health of the man-o-gawd. One particular woman whom my husband and I were helping, had just arrived in Ohio within the past week after having fled an abusive marriage with nothing but the clothes on her back. When she painfully looked at me after all this was over, I said sarcastically, "Yeah, welcome to Ohio, now get out of Dodge!" That relieved at least some of her tension. But I found Panarellos behavior toward these people unconscionable. After the meeting, some people were in tears. Others had that "thousand yard stare" of shock. There was no hint of the violence that Panarello suggested might occur, but people were stunned, dejected, confused, depressed, and horrified. Later on our family personally tasted the wrath of the Panarellos. During December my husband had been invited by the Cleveland Museum of Natural History to conduct a lecture in their planetarium on the Bethlehem Star. We notified the Wallaces and probably 20 TWI folk showed up along with the general public. The next day we were taken to task because we didn't "run the meeting" at the planetarium, sing, have manifestations, and introduce "guests" from TWI. Hell, it wasn't our show to run. JON was INVITED to speak by the planetarium curator. So this was a burr under Panarello's saddle about the Nessles. Later on in the month of December, we were invited to what was labeled the Way Corps' Happy Household Holiday party. While there, my husband was cornered by three or four Corps people who had been assigned to teach on the Bethlehem Star that month in public explanations and they were informally asking him technical questions about the astronomical data so they could understand the material they were supposed to teach. That didn't sit too well with Panarello's ego. He apparently felt slighted. Jealousy? Who knows. He later told us it "chapped his foot." (well, he didn't say "foot." That's the censor's stand-in for a three-letter word). Jon was then FORBIDDEN by Panarello to submit any research to TWI or to do any research whatsoever. Just read your bible and "master" the TWI materials. In January we were called to a Corps evaluation. We had teachings, then during a break, I was standing at a patio door looking outside when I heard my name mentioned. Just on the other side of an open door to the basement, I overheard Panarello and Wallace discussing me. Wallace demanded that "The Nessles have to go." Panarello agreed to "take care of it." When the meeting resumed, Panarello opened it by declaring that "Nothing was a foregone conclusion" regarding our Corps status. I knew then he was lying through his teeth straight to my face. In the ensuing evaluation, in the presence of the Wallaces, Connie, and two more Corps couples, we were taken apart by Panarello for the Planetarium incident and more. Panarello picked Jon apart because he felt that at his birthday party (the party was represented to US as being the HHH party), several people gave Jon more attention than they allegedly gave him. The women also apparently did not like the fact that my husband had gone shopping for and picked out the dress my daugher wore to "his" party. What was the problem with the dress? Was it really about the dress? Such an odd, petty thing to bring up at a Corps evaluation. I could understand if it was some racy, low-cut, high-skirted, hot little red number, unfit for a 9 year old to wear. But it was a very simple black velvet skirt that came to the knees, with a plain white satin top and a plain pink satin ribbon at the waist. Very nice, yet conservative, and looked as if it could have come from a pricier store, but came from a discount house. I think Cheryl Watson was bothered when she discovered that it came from (GASP) K-Mart, and Connie was bothered that JON took her shopping for a dress, and not ME. The dress was simply a lead-in to what they felt was the real problem. Why didn't I take Jenny shopping for her dress? Jon did it so I could stay off my ankle. I was limping around from what was still as yet a misdiagnosed injury that had occurred several months before at the Rock of Ages. I had stepped into an uncovered, unmarked trench near the shower tents and broke my ankle in several places. Another story of mismanagement by TWI delayed my visit to the ER where it was then misdaignosed as a sprain. At any rate, TWI was bothered by the fact that my ankle had not yet healed. I had followed their instructions on what they thought I should be doing to rehab the injury (later at the end of January finding out from The Cleveland Clinic that not only was my ankle broken in three places, but following TWI's advice simply splintered the bones into an infinite number of shards, making it worse), but it still did not improve. Connie Panarello had the nerve to declare in this evaluation that, "The reason your ankle has not yet healed is because your husband doesn't love you enough." Yep, folks, that's the real reason my ankle didn't heal. Not that TWI left a trench uncovered and unmarked in an area where they knew THOUSANDS of people were going to be walking. Not that doing walking exercises and stationary bicycling as recommended by my immediate TWI-paid ministerial overseers, splintered my broken bones into so many pieces they couldn't remove all of them in microsurgery, but because...My husband just "doesn't love me enough." And from that point in the meeting Panarello and Wallace endeavored to to sow division between my husband and myself in an unsuccessful attempt to bust up our marriage. And on that basis, Larry Panarello kept his promise to Mark Wallace that "the Nessles had to go." In all actuality, he was isolating and removing what he jealously felt was competition, and at the same time marginalized people TWI felt would be a financial liabilty because their grounds people screwed up that trench at the Rock of Ages. Soon in 1996 the Panarellos made even more bizarre demands on the people in the state of Ohio. They designed a system of study that was enforced upon every believer in the state. We no longer could direct our own study of the bible. We were to set up a portable file box exactly like the Panarellos with a folder in it for every class or seminar currently being offerred by TWI. Each one was given a particular day of the week for study. And on that day, that is what you were to study. It was a systematic review of TWI materials, class syllabi, and notes. No self-directed perusing of scripture, but the assigned reading of the day. This portable file box went everywhere with the Panarellos. They had two people assigned to carry it in front of them wherever they went. As they walked into the OSC building with their lackeys carrying the box in front of them, they looked as if they were following the ark of the covenant. The Panarellos later went around to all areas of the state of Ohio doing budget seminars and required everyone to set up a budget book the same way they did, and insisted on CARRYING THE BUDGET BOOK WITH YOU WHENEVER YOU GO OUT AND MAKE PURCHASES. You are carrying this huge 3 inch thick three ring binder with you to the mall or the grocery store, and writing your purchases down immediately. They also insisted we look at, VISUALLY INSPECT each and every checkbook and budget book of every person in our fellowship. This came from Larry Panarello to NE Ohio through Mark Wallace. There's much more detail I could go into, but it tires me to think about it. It's been posted several times and you can probably find it in the archives. Larry and Connie Panarello have an overly-inflated concept of self-importance, to put it mildly. Similar to both Craig Martindale and Mark Wallace, Larry himself is a mean, small, shallow, paranoid, jealous little man. Connie has delusional ideas, and is willing to carry out petty vendettas on behalf of her husband. As a result, they draw irrational conclusions about themselves and others. They are psychologically manipulative and therefore are in no shape to be directing entire groups of people, or to be entrusted with the care of the life of even one single human being. I doubt things have changed any for either one of them. They are used to causing severe damage in one area, then picking up and moving on to the next area to do the same thing. If things had changed, they would have realized they owe a huge debt of apology to ANYONE they could reach in the state of OHIO. I've never held my breath waiting for an apology, nor will I. He knows where I am and who I am and how to get in touch with me. Simply none of those people can look me in the eye and tell the truth. If he is really interested in changing, let him start with contacting me and apologizing for what he put me and my family through in 1996 and 1997. Then if I believed he was sincere, I could actually vouch for his honesty and sincerity to make right whatever wrongs he committed. However, my phone will not ring, and I will not get that knock on my door, because this man is not interested in changing anything except his bottom line. He needs something to subsidize his lifestyle. Unlike many of us who have worked at honest jobs for decades to put a roof over our own heads and our finances were bled dry by TWI, all his adult life he greedily sucked TWIs teat, and when that was jerked out of his mouth he went looking for a new source of sustenance. See to it that he doesn't suck you in. He's nothing but a parasite.

Get out now. You have already "delayed your dreams for a decade." Many of us, myself included, have already tried that route. As a result, I "delayed my dreams" for nearly 25 years, trying to "fix The Way" probably at a much higher level than you-- repeatedly-- and failed. Now I'm over 50 years old trying to pursue College degrees I should have finished in my 20's. You want to wait that long? It's time to learn from those who have been there and tried it before. The Word says that if a ruler hearkens to lies, all his advisors are evil. You're not going to change anything there. The organization is so corrupt, it needs to be scrapped. Learn now, or learn later. It's your life to waste, but you will never get back lost time.