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Everything posted by leafytwiglet
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Going back after leaving "The Way"
leafytwiglet replied to believersnonbeliever's topic in About The Way
I am going to echo all that everyone else said.. If she was born into TWI and has only known that she is in for a bit of a struggle at first. if you can get her to come on here anonymously and just read some of the threads that may help to strengthen her resolve. I find it interesting that her parents support your relationship.. this may mean that they are considering leaving or have left TWI or are maybe not too involved. Like Watered Garden I will be praying for you both. -
Every one has so many valid points and everyone has so many different feelings about TWI... I guess for me I have made my own peace. I am where I am at because of choices I made. I can look at all those choices and be horrified and live in anger and sadness because of bad things that happened or I can look at what was good and happy and find what is good in my life now. I choose this, I have much to be thankful for. Before you stop listening understand that I had to do this not only with TWI but with my own childhood. I had to stop and squarely face what the reality of my childhood was and also what my adulthood with my family was. ( My stepdad was an alcoholic... it was not pretty) This was very hard.... but once having done it I found it a lot easier to sort out what was good and worth remembering in joy and what was bad... I am still sorting TWI out...yes TWI was a con but thinking if you had good times they were bad... this is not healthy either. When I went to counseling for my childhood I learned one important thing... you have to look at your life squarely in the face of it. Accept it for what it is... actually you have to embrace it. With out it you would be a different person.. Maybe better maybe worse but that is an if you will never know. And spending all your time trying to forget about it or act like it didn't happen or that it was different than it was is exhausting. Okay and one other thing I had to really come to grips with is that I had to stop expecting my parents to apologize for what they did to me. I wanted that so much and it never happened... and as time went by I came to realize that even if I had gotten the apology it would not have helped me heal. Bolshie and brainfixed you are at the beginnings of an upward climb in your life. ((Hugs)) I wish there was a way to make the people you have to deal with understand the hurts you feel from the life that was chosen for you and any one else who is a child born into TWI. Just remember... for them TWI was something they chose for their self.. and they don't stop to realize that you did not chose TWI you had no control over your life until you could leave as an adult. Maybe this will help you when you deal with them.
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Neutering should calm it down considerably.. and some family dog training is crucial especially with children in the picture.
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Ex10 YOu saw the cats But DID you get to Pet the cats. LOL Sounds like a fun time was had by all!
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What a wonderful humble woman.. OMG I love her spunky honest sweetness. And SHE sings!!!!
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Husband would Kill me if I put beer out.. HE would say this is a waste of good beer.. ledt the slugs brew their own. SO the weekend was full of roto tilling all the Veggie beds that are not already planted then I put together some drip irrigation systems for each raised bed and installed black plastic on part of them.. I still need to get more black plastic tomorrow and finish laying it down. So far I have planted my Early girl tomatoes >>> I need to pick up one more and I think I am gonna grab two more romas.. I planted 6 green peppers and I need to get 6 each of Yellow peppers and Orange peppers or Purple peppers, I am also going to put in Some cantaloupe. I am hoping the wind will die down tonight so I can plant my bush beans and cucumbers... but right now it is roaring through my back yard still... Not optimum planting conditions. That leaves my bed of beets and assorteds Spinach/chard carrots and radishes and lettuce. My Garlic is almost ready to pick some of it is ripe and some will be in about a week. so that will leave me space for something else in that bed as it is the one with my romas and onions I need to figure out what else I can plant in there. All in all a long happy gardening weekend :P
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If I start it will you co host it with me?
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But then you do the same thing .. it can't be a good memory because my life sucked while in DA VOID! And TWI was evil so do not talk of these good times you had. The reality is rather more in the middle.. Not every one had sucky times.. admitting one had good times or bad times is not taking away from the reality of the fact that TWI was wrong... it is just allowing people to understand why they were there and or why they stayed. We all have to allow people to express what they liked about TWI or we hinder them from healing just as much as those who had good experiences have to allow those of us who were trampled to share their hurt and pain. Talking about it is how people heal. and that involves talking about both parts of it. People whose folks were already in the way get mad because their folks stayed in and want to know why but when people try to explain the born TWIers get angry and accuse them of being stupid to get involved. Well Nothing is ever all black and white... and how TWI was for people really did depend on when you were involved and where you were involved... That does not take away from the fact that TWI was started by some one who just wanted to take advantage of people... IT just goes to show you that people were looking for answers and were very very young.. and made bad decisions. Everyone on here is just trying to understand and until we all stop and listen to both sides of the story.. you will not find the peace and healing you are looking for. And part of that is seeing it all.... the good , the bad and the ugly. But it is also letting each other express that without assuming they are trying to tell you what you saw didn't happen. We all know it happened but so did the good stuff too. IF TWI had been all evil to begin with most of us wouldn't have been there in the first place.
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Thanks Word Wolf. I had the list almost done when I realized I hadn't added links in.
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I take it the first of the SOWERS Group is about to graduate from their program. Too bad some of us can not talk to them about what is what.. Has any one here met the vicster II? I know Mr Ham pants has corresponded via email at least briefly.
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okay Ben or any othyer newbie after much searching thru places I posted. here are a few.. of the threads that touched my life and made me realize what a scumbag VP was WAYDALE REPOST: Rafael Olmeda's Original Blue Book Commentary Wierwille And Musicians Euphemism: The Cold Wind of Change Hunt Close ! Child Abuse in TWI To see God, or not to see God. Poll: VPW and the Snowstorm - What do you believe? The L.E.A.D. accident. What happened? THE CROSS TWI Financial Statement/Self-Supporting Twigs if you search on those titles you will find a lot of info.. and those are only a few of the places I have read.. But I was a total Blabber mouth so there were lots of posts I made I went looking for the ones that spoke to me the most also a huge help for me was listening to the grease spot radio shows.. very informative. I have listend to some of them twice now.
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Having Grown up in a household with an alcoholic... let me add that a standard behavior for them is any thing that is wrong is some one elses fault. IF they have a problem it is all because you the kid wife or friend caused them to do what they did. They are fine perfect to be admired and followed and everyone else is an idiot or dirt bag etc. Taking a drink is all about them .. their life revolves completely around them.They do not for the most part ever once think about how their actions are affecting their own loved ones or those around them. Weirdly everyone who is their friend always assumes the family or spouse is the bad ones even though they see the alcoholic drunk at some time. Sexual Physical and mental abuse are common threads in the alcoholics life.. because everyone else is there for their amusement or pleasure. IT is a given that Weirwille was an alcoholic. There are countless Eye Witness accounts of it.. Not to mention the accounts of sexual and mental abuse that went on daily with the so called Man of God. Many people on here question his motives... but I lived with one .. My step dad, so maybe he originally had good motives but as with anything an alcoholic does even if it started out for a good reason it always turns into a self-centered endeavor. Now before you all jump down my throat .. Not one person on here knows what really was in VP's heart or head for that matter, maybe originally he really wanted o do something good... but we do know what his outward actions showed.. a contempt for the people who chose to follow him, and a real effort to cheat people with lies and deceit. Ben you are new to the grease spot spend some time reading some of the threads to get an idea of what some people on here have gone thru. For me when I showed up here I had no Idea.. I was involved with the Way .. in the west with minimal contact with head quarters, and luckily for me the leaders I was around were mostly good people... so needless to say my journey here has been eye opening. I had a couple of encounters with VP that made me question his motives and goodness but as I only really ran across his path directly about 5 times in my Way experience I had no idea he was as bad as he was. I will go make a list of just a few of the threads that really opened my eyes. Some of them are long but you will never view the Way or VP the same way again. and Welcome to Grease Spot.
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Happy Happy Birthday.
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THe last two years I have grown my cucumbers surrounded by bush beans .. a mutually happy condition. Cuccs love heat by the way perhaps put in too early??? did they get wilt or mosaic disease or possibly white or black fungus? cucumber diseases If you were in my area I would guess Verticillium wilt, or mosaic or mildew these are the three mine succumb to if they fail depending on time of year. we get a lot of fog in hte summer and it pretty much does in runner beans and cuccs.. I found that bush beans don't get the mildew as easily and for what ever reason the cuccs don't get it as bad when surrounded by bush beans. or maybe the beans protect against other factors.
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Adding I have found that plants are much more sensitive than folks give them credit for.. so I will keep them separate.. it explains some disastrous tomato years for me. and I will keep every one separate from now on. I have plenty of planting beds and plenty of companion plants that can grow with them to fill said boxes.
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Regarding the asparagus in my area we have clay soil it grows quite happily. But my first experience with it was in Michigan where my Grandfather grew it on his farm and my cousin still harvests off those plants in one of the fields. I personally have seen it growing in Idaho so you are talking 20+ below in the winter. but it equally does well in my climate California coast with no frost .. and hot dry summers the soil In Michigan was a mix of loamy/sandy but like I said where I am we are solid clay and it is quite happy here. just up the road about five miles from me is a organic asparagus farm and they grow beautiful asparagus. I suspect it is all in the variety you plant.
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Some Asparagus Information Asparagus fun
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Ohh good to know... re configures garden beds in head to separate romas from early girls. This is hard I have to also keep them away from the apricot tree. Tomatoes and Apricots hate each other . Asparagus is from the Nile area originally... but it likes to have a rich soil and it prefers to be in an undisturbed state. Hmmm I better double check this.. it is info I got from a novel about Egypt any way it grows great along the California coast where we have no Frost at all , okay a little frost. and it grows well in the heat too.
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Woo Hoo Yay for you guys. I hope a good time was had by all.
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Yeah BRainy it is a kind of habit here for a bit .. you will get better or feel better... but like anything it takes time.. first you have to see the bad that was TWI in all it's ugliness then you have to start seeing your own things that are habits left over from twi. then you start to find replacement behaviors so you don't continue the old TWI stuff. and then you find peace or as much as any human can find. Not every one who was in TWI was a jerk. In fact most of the folks I knew were really quite wonderful but then I left before THE LOY BOY turned things from bad to horrible. The controlling thing takes a looong time to eradicate.
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Hehehehe I should hope you NEVER forget your winkie.. No left handed screw driver but I have a left handed monkey wrench
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Awww it sounds like some real progress is being made. the more you handle them the better they will be but they will probably always be a bit skittish!
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LOL Mstar1 you forgot the Winkie ;) Brainfixed Just comment away.
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In light of all this I found this blog post which I found interesting and it brings into account times etc. Where are the women