excathedra

i can see that. i also can see that it isn't a mental weapon of many of the posters here. do you see what i mean?

thanks so much signing off much love

i want to share something that is really disturbing but i don't know a lovely person asked me to prove i had been on the big bus he asked me if wierwille was (i can't say it) i said i have no idea, i have no recollection i had a floating ceiling type experience looking down and then i saw these horribly dead eyes looking into mine i CAN remember the next "morning" (or however long a bus ride takes) i was on a side cot type thingy and he was shoving something very personal from his body in my face and i played dead and i thank god he went away

awww thanks for responding now i see it should really say something like, "i'll show you what it feels like to be dead inside" or you know something like that.... love, me

i understand and i love you or feel for you i got in the way because i wanted the emptiness to be filled my bad over on the left there is a little statement under my avatar it's what wierwille said to kris when he oh you know "i'll show you what's good about being alive" i want to puke for a million years

i'm such a music expressionist :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBFSMna9KPY...185&index=0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLse7g_Nfuo ok, done with feeling sorry for myself thank you for indulging me

okay i'm back i'm going to try this again having been sexually abused as a child, having serious boundary and authority issues, and having gone to vpw for counseling, i find it really distrubing, disgusting, gross and immoral -- and spiritually lol WRONG that he would try to convince me why i should f him am i getting through ? and i've been trying to write about this for YEARS but the shame is too great

no no no i don't think so no wayi should go back and read more thank you for the supportive comments i love you for it i'm just saying oh what am i saying? i'll get back to you after i put the clothes in the dryer love lol

ok i just looked up on the internet if it's true he was born in 1916 and i was born in 1956 when he started counseling me on the way of a man with a maiden i was 19, so he 59 when he got me on the coach i was 23 and he was 63 talk about "good times"

what year was that sunofabeech born ?

oh i bought the wrong frikkin bible too but what the heck was i supposed to do since i begged my catholic grandparents for money for the class makes me sick

...

is the coffee any good ?

i want to say something really disgusting regarding rosie but i refrain i love you potatorchip ;)

victatorship fit in here ?

never mind sorry

yeah i guess. you grow up poor, you expect the more abundant life to be just a little abundant lol

ohmygod i've heard it all now lol

i've been gaslighted

covert abuse ? passive-aggressive ? gaslighting ok, i'll shut up for now sowwy

thank you roy love,ex

happy birthday dearest sweet bow

(((((((((( my friend geo ))))))))))))

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha ha ha haand i'm still thinking about that other groucho remark about her ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahah aha ha ha

maybe it's called the control game