excathedra

i love you rottie. how ARE you? that's a really nice post.

i remember back before wierwille was even dying a friend of mine called from the UK because psychogeer was destroying him so i went to wierwille and finnegan and someone else oh yeah martindale then i get his phonecall from geer on my HOME phone (iwas on staff at HQ) he tells me that this friend of mine is packing i'm like "packing what" he tells me big ones -- i'm like "bit what" and he tells me devil spirits so i go and tell wierwille that this guy is nuts and wierwille goes nuts i think this is the time he (veepee) says to me "how long do i have to suck your corps asses (huh?) then when my friend comes to HQ -- oh man -- never mind -- but it all started with.... it's just too sad

any new friends you met were f'd up -- any one who thought i was their friend -- i was -- but i was a f'd up friend

it was truly utterly boring, thus i kept climbing lol -- the promise of something better -- the intermediate, the advanced, the way corps the itsy bitsy spider or something like that

oh i just can't shut up when it comes to the poo poo paper and the pathetic pervet who penned it my friend, you CANNOT put "dazzle" or "brilliance" for that matter in the same context as psycho geer and this piece of poop was what you would call a prck who definitely aided and abetted the #1 moggie prck also, he was caught (fac, don't care if you believe it) with someone other than his wife while in residence in the 7th corps big surprise well the surpise is who would want him, but the same thing goes for veepster oh yeah, i be waiting for his advanced class

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everything was hidden from the beautiful people in the regular frikkin twigs that's a big reason i left because i was no different than they were iwas just sucked in to thinking i was special gorss what was so special and secret ? that these perverts ran the way ? ohmygod when it dawned on methat special meant "f'd up" --- i doubt i'm making any sense it even sounds elitist when i say these things pfffttttt thank god i'm out and know and love real people -- just like the ones i used to be "over" -- how gross and my heartfelt apologies and shame to anyone who thought i was something because i was a way corps grad the way corps program and being in the know (of what) destroyed me not looking for sympathy -- i'm 53 -- i wasn't then but i'm still sorry for the joke that was on me and on anyone i knew and loved

lo shanta malaca SINta (or whatever) can i get that young girl on the coach ?

is this the frikkin twi light zone ? it's just beyond comprehension come on, can you laugh ?

you know he's insane don't you ? but why should that bother anyone who is spiritually minded ? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ahahaha ohmygod just get out of THE WAY and there are really heavy sad things happening in my life at the moment so this old man with the puny deck who prentended to be important and then the psycho man with problems etc. seem really stupid to me right now and everything else

so sad everything i got in at 18/19 i left at 34 or around there and now i'm 53 i think and i'm still ....ng here

while i'm thinking, i come from a large roman catholic family. some of them are willing to (i don't know how to say it) -- let the priests off the hook who totally damaged my little brothers (now adults of course). i'm not willing. i actually joined the stupid way to try to find a pure loving god factor in people -- "higher ups" is what i mean so all the talk in the world and whatever - back to square one i can understand the "conquest" factor in high school, but not from THE WAY POPE LOL

even sadder or more sick sinister is when they are trying to counsel you or help you overcome that same sickness that your grandfather, uncle, father, etc., might have had look, it's sick and dirty and wrong that's it use God ? man that's low hi irish eyes and thanks i was writing my post while you were writing yours i'm sad about people not seeing certain realities i'm even willing to say oh i'll tell you later since i don't have theinternet explorer thing to see what i'm saying lol

honestly, dirty old men (or women) and dirty young men (or women) are what they are they just have more opportunity in certain professions or positions it's sad when they are pretending to do it in the name of god or for spiritual reasons i personally would prefer an out and out "hey, i want to do this io you" but it doesn't work atht way does it

ps. there were other people there too and a limb leader who i LOVE(D) i just couldn't lie anymore to people i loved -- maybe because it dawned on me i couldn't lie to myself anymore -- there are other things that happend too whre i wrote to craig and told him he shouuld not carry on with wierwille's sexual perversities, i just have to figure out where that comes into play but hwo cares?

it absolutely rocked my world. i'll try to explain. FIRST, the MAJOR FRIKKIN DOG WAS DEAD -- that was release from my prisons SECOND (but not necessarily in that order), i hated that BASTAD GEER -- and i had excellent proof how F'd up he was but the changing thing for me was going to a corps meeting at the limb home to listen to a teape and fortunately for me two people were there -- well more than two -- three i think -- it was joe fair and nancy and also ralp graham after some tape, i shared how guilt ridden i felt and joe and nancy and ralph said "WHY"? what have you done wrong? all of a sudden, i realized i hadn't done anything wrong it was a tape about the corps being responsible for his death or something like that and when we were told we could not tell anyone about this, the first thing david and i did was go back and tell our twig/branch et al about what we had just heard hope this makes sense not too long after (i think) john lynn breezed through -- trying to remember -- i didn't like that i might be confusing some stuff, but anyway I HATE GEER

i just saw something i wrote that is sheer bsheet -- oh maybe IIIIIII thought he thought lol. he certainly didn't think i was special -- i was another -- what's the word -- conquest -- is that a word ? it's the only thing that kept him after me --- was the refusalsorry about the dashe dear soul searcher, thankyou also, i know for a fact my friend did that to him while he spoke on the phone to donna it was our interim year and she was out on the field as a some kind of special wow person -- like a coordinator of a group -- whatev i don't think she ever got over it and when she came to see me after we graduated, craig said, "our girl" is coming here and i said she's not "ours" or "anyone's" -- then he told her to stay away from me because i drank too much she told me when she was visiting me oh what a waste

there are so many pervert sickos in this world it's such a shame that they are mostly your relatives and priests/pastors

met him at 19. went in the corps at 22 and had my 23rd birthday at some big event -- a PFAL event. then next year my interim year is when it happened on the coach but i managed to rationalize this and he did not ask me back to the coach i don't think i was exciting since i was semi unconscious how in god's name did i still stay ? oh so many reasons but my brain forgets i think he thought i was special at first and i think i thought he was special at first i don't know -- i really don't i thought my uncle was special and my grandpa and all that crap i know this probably doesn't make sense, but i don't care i think he was a pervert jerkoff and any one thinks his puney dick got in the way == well, they're right lol but also he wasn't a man of god -- if there is such a stupid thing

can't remember what i wrote. just saw a post thanking me. not reading the thread -- bad mood for other personal reasons summary: me a freshman in college, other girls witness to me, take class, meet the new pope, he's in his 50s i guess -- i don't know -- but he's not attractive. but the find him so much more to say but i can't see my post was abused in the past i'm thinking now perfect target. but he didn't succeed until later -- long trip on the bus woke up kind of in it but just saw these dead eyes in my face -- on top of me later woke up on like a little pull out cot from the wall and this old thing in my face -- played possum and it went away tried to think of him as MOG and spiritually knew things i did not -- but just couldn't -- well, i did buy it -- doubting myself of course told him my past, he counseled, dah dah dah -- told me god wanted to heal me from bad men -- dah dah dah and ha ha ha i mean NOW i know i was a good target

did i start this thread? i tried to read most of it but i got bored

good point, penworks. it's all so ridiculous. it boggles my unrenewed mind! the power, the sex, etc., at the top of little way world. the gals that got hired to assist MOGs, the homosexual couple who lived with rosie (i'm not talking about any stance on such a lifestyle, just the hypocricy with that horrible purge and ruining people's lives) -- what else? oh there's just too much. seeing donna and rosie together YEARS before the allen lawsuit. not believing my own "senses" eyes lol! donna and craig and donna and M and donna and R. oh cripes. -- as long as craig and donna could both have their cake and eat it too.... but then you all know what happened! ps. i miss old posters and LG died

well, revelation changes and all that. if people can't handle it, there's the door

the changed film was much easier to swallow (i mean promote) i was at that pfal 77, but that's all i know lol hey d, i miss ya

what you do is so holy i stop and help people