excathedra

rummie just saw your name here. haven't seen the thread i'm watching something on the history channel about tsumanis and was thinking about you wanted to say hi, love ya many hugs

well whatever about what will me free me or not eh ? i still haven't posted what i set out to post. it's a lot harder than i realized and yeah even if it is AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN etc :)

looks like phone's in sally's name. do a yahoo people search to get their address, number, in indiana

((((((( cool ))))))) i understand you take care of your precious heart. i love you

july 14, 1981, 25 years ago, we gathered around the pond and became ....... ha ha ha ha ha ha did we graduate at the pond or in kenyon ?

gotta go now, but i want you to know i don't "need" to tell this for attention or anything thanks just i was there and now i'm here like so many of us .

one of my college undershepherders went away (very odd) we were so close i kept asking where she was told she was at headquarters but it was said with a "ssshhhhhh" she came back after a few weeks but we weren't allowed to talk about it one of the girls finally told me she had a breakdown and went to headquarters to get healed a bit later i was told the truth by my friend, the reason she had a breakdown had to do with being on the coach with veepee and then this lovely woman told a dear friend of mine very recently what happened but i knew already

by some time i mean a few years through the years he would call me on the coach and hold my hand and talk to me (about my past and childhood sexual abuse) he told me i deserved to be loved by a real man of god (instead of what happened to me as a child) and god wanted me healed, etc. one time he said he would show me my beauty and asked me to remove my blouse, which i did (sorry), but then when he started to "admire" me, i said i'm sorry i can't do this, and i ran off the coach crying he did not give up. it was still quite a while 'til he got me i know this sounds surreal..... believe me.....

adultery affairs those words probably are why i shrink even though no one means harm whatsoever my apologies to you all i have no legitimate reason to be mysterious he, meaning veepee, spent a lot of time holding my hand and counseling me i told him my entire sordid history i was looking for help and real love and i looked up to him but when he told me he could help me (man with a maiden), it scared the scrap out of me this went on for some time

thanks you too and i realize i should just post it again here instead of being all private messaging love ya linzee and everyone else

i just wrote this to eagle in a private message and i would be willing to extend this to others just give me a little time if i don't get back to you immediately i may have to type it in word first..... .

you know what ? this will sound really sick but as far as jesus movement and free love or people who felt they could do whatever i have never had a problem with that being the immoral person that i am i have only ever had a problem with a spiritual father man of god type using that position especially when the person shared their heart and soul fully about their background and how screwed up they were hope this makes sense in other words, for me, it was never about sleepnig around, and i wouldn't want to give that impression it was about.... ahhhh..... it was about begging and pleading and not understanding the spiritual significance or comfort of such a disgusting invitation and it was about losing finally against my will that's it thanks

proof ? do i really care ? no he's dead did i ever dream of doing what paul allen did ? NO NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS because i was still trying to sort things out and i was pretty messed up when he was dead and gone, i did suggest to craig how loving it would be NOT to continue to follow in his footsteps and to stop that kind of stuff (i thought of craig as a a bit more meek and i knew he had been raised up by the father in the word dah dah dah) he wiped the floor with me. oh well and if anyone is thinking following psycho geer was more profitable, oh please hey georgio.... out of the mouth of babes.... (well compared to me, you are ) mwah :)

ditto

i had all this good stuff to say and as usual i forgot it, but it will come to me i just heard something i want to share see me feel me touch me heal me listening to you i get the music gazing at you i get the heat following you i climb the mountain i get excitement at your feet right behind you i see the millions on you i see the glory from you i get opinions from you i get the story i'm thinking of starting a thread on tommy :)

holy holy holy thank you dear dear seth it never really occurred to me to see things how you just put it damn OF COURSE i would never think of lying about such a thing i hate arguments and confrontation wierwille was a PIG SLIME CON MAN trying to heal me and help me sexually WHAT A DAMN JOKE thank you going to bed now :)

and pond thank you very much for your pm you too likeaneagle

group hug please i'm sorry that i failed to say i was never offended by eagle starting this thread and even though a front-page thingy might help people believe the good doctor was a pig, i just can't be the one, even if i never have to read it i'm debating whether i should tell how many girls i know firsthand were on the motorcoach. of course i would have to think about it but where's the profit ? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha spiritual abuse of power is not love. god is love

thank you, pond it's hard for me to explain why that wouldn't be easy for me

why does everything always have to be black and white, either / or ? it's complex, to me anyway

i'm in agreement with cool, here. i know it might be difficult to understand, but it's very different when you talk about things if and when you feel you can. but to see it in front of your face each time you come here would be horrible i don't know how else to explain it some days i want to delete every single word i've ever said and other days i want to tell it all again it's probably more about my screwed-up-ness than anything else i'm not on a mission really except maybe to save myself

patron saint of sexual abuse here ;) i, for one, would die if my story was "showcased." even after all these stupid years it still messes with your head. and it's very difficult to tell, believe it or not i remember i was in my first year of college taking the pfal class. veepee showed up in town to be the surprise guest at the 12th session. like the pope coming to your confirmation or something. my meeting with the holy man of god: i went to visit the girls way home and he was there. i walked past the bathroom and the door was open and he was blowdrying his hair and standing there stark naked. while i was walking into the wall, he smiled this big lecherous smile now of course any normal person would have booked right then and there. but i did not really have normal boundaries.... (i guess because of being a victim of child sexual abuse) when i asked my "mature in the word" college wow undershepherder about it, she told me when you become that spiritual, flesh doesn't really mean anything sexual or whatever.... and THAT is not the rest of the story :)

boy if that doesn't say it for me

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hawatersedge, a way ministry leadership training program

i would be curious to know if he has a name. is he a youngin' we got a dog named "bob" but since he was still young we named him buddy because we wanted to be buddies. the people who called him bob put cigars and cigarettes out on him as kids we named dogs after baseball players... mickey, yogi my brother has a huge dog now named homer (not after simpson, but like homerun) his big black lab was named jack which my brother in law didn't think was cute since his name is also jack you could call him greasespot :) or midnight