excathedra

it's so sad

well before i address cat's last post (holy moley) -- i did want to say to eyes ~ now i know why i've stayed on these forums all these years !!!!! ;) smooch hug smooch ;)-- that STINKS

awww don't make yourself ill, please maybe just try to have a nice talk, you don't have to be mean, you know ? just tell them you're trying to be honest and want to make things right but don't listen to me, really, since i'm not there, i don't know what it's like

how wonderful and miraculous, rascal ab, years ago i had a dentist yell at me for not relaxing, my jaw locked up, and i couldn't help it. no amount of yelling was going to change that i pulled everything out of my mouth, threw it on the floor and stormed out, never to return again ps. tell sushi i went to st. peter's to have my darling baby -- then, thank you god, i found one that stopped EVERYTHING, sat me up, and like, stroked me and talked to me, once i held my hand up. they understood i thought i was dying of a heart attack -- catcup, this thread about childbearing can really help a lot of girls.

great topic, cat i had a neonatal (?) crisis team involved in my delivery, don't feel like going into the details, but i had fever during delivery, an IV, i never could nurse (my heart's dream), dah dah dah after, visits from my doctor and other doctors as well as a letter from the head of a very fine hospital i wanted to have a second child (not too long after my first, since i was already 38) but i just couldn't do it, no way, no how childbirth was one of the worst experiences of my entire life. i was sure i was dying.... -- also, it has taken me YEARS to find a dentist. i finally have one who knows how to treat my panic attacks and fear of dying in his chair -- oh my

i'm game plus i like the ((((((((((((((( group ))))))))))))))) hug idea too peace out (spoken like a true 13 year old, my boy)

that's so great -- i think when i was young, i used god as a crutch more now i feel so much more peaceful with my relationship, my faith does that make sense ?

ohmy i guess you're not ready for the meat of the word

thank god-- i'm so sorry

let's see ? the man of god of our day and time was born in 1913 ? did someone say that was the year ? when i was 19, that would make him 62 ? when i was 23, that would make him 66 ? gross

i don't think so oldies. otherwise he wouldn't have had to get me against my will, not to mention a million other things

-- let me say one more time, i think it was very sick that he said he could heal me with the love of god from the childhood incest stuff i'm smarter now i'm sorry i wasn't then i know shell but something inside me just wants to defend myself

again, i don't think i chose him i'm trying to remember..... he was drying his hair in the bathroom. he was totally nude and the door was open. he was looking in the mirror at himself and turned totally around to smile a "hi" to me even the year before that i had gone to visit a friend of a friend out in the boonies and they (the whole family) all walked around naked. i don't know if that has anything to do with the price of eggs -- but yes i loved him like a father (or you know, wishing i had had a good father) but i didn't choose him at all for a sexual relationship it happened once and it was horrifying. i think i posted on that already

i really didn't choose him, i don't even know what to say, it's such a mean thing to say to me. it's a horrible thought. what do you even mean ? why would i choose him and what would i choose him for ? -- after he exposed himself, the girl undershepherding me talked to me for a long time and explained how he is so spiritual and nakedness is like nothing to him, it's just the flesh, i don't know, like he was above it all and i didn't have a good sense of boundaries at all. i had been sexually molested by an older male relative believe it or not, i looked at him as a father figure. how stupid, but it's true and then when he sat and talked to me about the incest, he held my hand and cried with me, etc., and told me stuff that god wanted for me (which included him teaching me). it was such a hard time. part of me looked at him like he like a father, maybe even the pope, so to speak, and another part of me just couldn't understand that kind of "love" of course now, i would never stay or buy the spiritual reasoning, but i did then i hope that answers your question, oldies it's all i can give at the moment my queen duties call and i don't think i'll ever feel the same about you since you said it seems like i chose him

i actually got out of bed because i was thinking of your post you don't know what happend in my life ? can you read ? you prefer hanging out with polite people ? like veepee ????? what are you, insane ?????? did you read what i wrote ????? -- i went upstairs and i looked at my kid sound asleep and said to myself, i would never rape him deciderator, you don't get it sorry was that polite enough ?

deciderator, i posted what happened to me i'm sorry about the "shut up" ----- i feel that way a lot of times ----- dear deciderator this is not an excuse but where i'm from when you say "oh shut up" it doesn't sound so bad, like it does on the internet, it's almost funny never mind but i'm still sick about people ignoring what marsha and catcup and i told

excuse me lingo, we are right up there in shout should you wish to participate

well ham, it took a lot for me to get out the guns this time and i'm wondering if it was worth it

the way i see it, i'm sorry, you are trying to make me invisible that's just my take but i'm sure you think it's because i'm the queen of something

i guess you ignored what happened in my life ? if not, i can't think of a worse insult and jonny, kevin, i don't need your wish for peace

i've been called worse.... "the patron saint of sexual abuse" comes to mind i'm not wallowing, believe it or not and i'm not enjoying it believe it or not i do like the hugs, but they don't get me through the day or night

ps. i am sorry he did you dirty, i was not trying to make that unimportant i just am frustrated thank you, just saw your last post

i'll be there pond when i get a few things off my chest lingo, it's taken me YEARS to come to terms with what i'm talking about then you tell me some stupid story about g*ry k*ng and holding hands and praying what the hell

i'm sorry BARFhow old are you, 12 ? if that was a personal attack, please feel free to delete it boo hoo

i think it was VERY rude ps. i don't think i've ever mentioned forgiveness one way or the other