excathedra

dear kit, we were posting at same time so my post before yours much love

you are so wonderful please listen to a song i posted in "open" in the happy easter he is risen thread. it's really nice love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfQAIIPX8SI

it's a good thing love,ex a really really really good thing no words

i love you, kit

awwwww i'm so happy for you. really i am.

:) mwah

i'm with mstar on this one really i remember harvey when we were in the 9th together and john from the 10th who married vicki dahl (and she was a doll) in the 8th. they weren't leaders or trustees or anything i'm having a difficult time taking this seriously i guess i was only brainwashed by the old pervert lol oh and the chubby blonde security guy, is he something special now ? i'm trying to remember his name

i think many people were/are "deceived" in one way or another

(((((( thank you ))))))

in the way, i remember "the hope" was supposed to motivate me every day..... moment.... but i don't think it ever really did or does. i'm not saying that i can't wait for it and long for it but when i get out of bed and go to a job (or get laid off from a job and wonder if we'll lose the house), what keeps me going is my kid i'm trying to remember what kept me going before he came along just wanting to survive ? i don't know also, my mom. i don't want to ever die before her because she couldn't take it -- i'm not trying to make this a downer thread at all but what keeps you going ? i'm just curious i'm not rich. i don't think i ever will be although i would love to be i'm concerned and content with ..... oh i don't know ...... -- what do you think ? -- i'm not really asking what makes you happy (but please tell me if you want to) but what makes you keep on keepin' on ? -- thanks

i have my old ones somewhere -- written stuff all over it i have new ones somewhere -- nothing written in it i don't read any of them i just could never bring myself to throw out a bible

yes, i see your point rummie i'm sorry dorian i think i offered my email for your friend at the beginning of the thread -- not that that would really help since she doesn't know me i'm not sure what to say. i'm sorry about your stress if your friend thinks anything said "against" wierwille or the way is just "man" speak, it's hard to come up with something because it feels like her mind has a shield up already

thank you linzee. i couldn't agree more, and god and christ are with me to this very second

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMZwc_qOZPY

i've never really been able to distinguish between my childhood experiences and way experiences -- i guess because all of it is me.... i do think the childhood did lead me to be a wayfer in any case, i would like to dedicate this to my father and my father in the word http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBFSMna9KPY :)

all i saw was glory ?

i was 18. i had a screwed up abusive past. i always wanted a good, decent, kind father. i happened to have a longing to help others/save the world (nunhood and peace corps were in my thinking) staying..... hmmmm.... addictive type? already entrenched? my identity wrapped up in it? god would not look favorably on me? i don't know really. early 30s when i left there was this one meeting -- a lightbulb kind of went off. was at a hush-hush corps meeting listening to chris geer's tape. i started taking all the blame of "the ministry's downfall" or something and publicly started to admit my shame joe fair and ralph graham sorta' yelled at me and i was -- hallelujah people -- set free it felt good to realize i was not to blame. shame and blame were deeply a part of me still thinking and will let you know what else i come up with

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

sniff who sang "we may never pass this way again"? that was my senior high school song

we are all victims, thus a need for a savior, i think but i know that's not what you all are talking about just thought i'd throw that in :)

many hugs ((((((((((((((((((( newlife ))))))))))))))))))))

one thing that really hurt me about that thread whitedove and oldies and whoever cares was that newlife posted something so personal and so horrible and it got lost. she's posted about 80 times here compared to my 18 million and was ignored. why would she ever want to talk about it if she has to submit a video or a sworn confession, etc., etc.