mj412

I firmly believe the best coping skills in life come from families. I know bitterness and angry feeling and selfishness within families allow holidays to become about ones self instead of one another. I have had holidays with realtives I am very angry at but we go and so do they. Love and commintment works out many issues that people have within a family structure. Places that need volunteering such as a meal give away or shelter need help 365 days a year . sure give away if that is what you want to do it is a constant need in society not just on thanksgiving day.. YET to say you can not love or forgive one another in your OWN FAMILY just ONE day a year speakes volumes to children about what is really important in life and how to cope with it. To live love and forgivness you must be taught within your own life and ideals and the best way is from a child seeing families learning just how it can and is done by example. It isnt the easy route that is for sure but the values children and adults take from the willingness to try to be thankful and forgive one another within the structure they are born, it does suceed to teach another generation how to make for a strong and loving people and families. the decay of the family is caused by the lie that famlies have to be perfect they do not they just have to be thankful and care enough to not write each other off as not important enough to spend a meal with.

we get together for thanksgiving. The perfect family does happen the perfect family to me is one that copes with a life long relationships and all that life brings... I truly believe family is priceless and so very helpful in life. problem solving come from a strong family from generations that know how to handle what life is with a common bond of knowing and loving one another for the longest period of anyones life. is their families that can not cope with one another? yes increasinly today people do not invest in one another and relationships have become like much of todays society as a throw away thing. not good enough throw it away find something eles that suits only you. yes I see and interact with five generations and Yes I ask my children to do the same. It is one of lifes greatest joys to be with people who know you and love you and care about you more than anyone on earth . Problems arise because people do not adrress issues within family or because family have decayed from day one. healthy families are a wonderful part of life and to be healthy in any relationship takes prayer and commintment and a love that can and does cross generations . I believe this is how wisdom is learned in life. it also takes the ability to put family first as a group that has sharded history and love beyond whatever life may present . I know without family many people struggle in life. We can chose who we can have as family but that does not deny our history from where we come from. I think it is very very sad to see people decide the family is not the foundation of what America stands on. Strong families breed strong people which breed a strong society . who makes the green bean dish and who owes who money pale in what life is really about at thanksgiving of each others love and support. it allows traditions of the love families share to flourish and passes it down to another generation that will cherish those special holidays with their children. It shows the generation how very very thankful I am to be a part of a life time of commintment to one another in love and caring. oh I wouldnt miss it for anything. The great grammas and grammas in our lifes are respected and rewarded at these meals as queens and Kings of hundreds of folks walking in their example of what makes us all live life to the max! We invite who ever wants to come and include neighbors and friends and who ever wants to see why we are indeed thankful for one another and God grace in these troubled times. Roots are very very improtant to us. But most of all it is a time of being with people who know you best of all even if it has been an entire year since you have seen one another ! It is very very important a priority for all of us!

Rascal I think olds meant God will make it up to Leonard if his stuff was stolen which olds admited to . I will be unpopular now as well but I also do not hate vpw. On this site we have a group of people who want justice done in this day for the wrongs we all have faced. Vengenence is mine said the Lord I have learned to leave vengenence with the Lord. God asks us to cling to what is good and I try to do that.. Rascal please understand that position doesnt negate your position of speaking out against what you believe needs to be known about Vpw. I have learned in my life to not make judgements on any testimony I do not know as truth . Because I do not know it as truth does NOT make it a lie for you understand? We all do what we need to do in life and I think the best thing is to be honest with our own self and in what or who we answer to in life. to put Love first means to me the ability to care and be concerned beyond what my own personal experience may be about a matter. My peace comes from the fact God loves us all, and each one of us is still in the big time learning stage , on a very personal level. what you have learned is not going to be what I have learned in life and vice versa that is why we have different members etc... one doesnt lessen the other tho. I know my eye ball gets really angry at my nails when they need to get clipped by my hand ya know ? We work together and get the job done . I also can not decide who is the enemy as it is a spirtiual life we lead.

I know it may be difficult for some to understand why this was/is/could be an issue for me. I didnt make up my mind and leave twi, you see I was thrown out in a scene of cr@p! I think I would still be involved today if I had not gone through that . AND then I went back and left again ! and then the off shoots ! for some of you you had thoughts about it and just left oh no not me I had drama ! it is the drama I do not want to vist again and You know what I do not have too I can and will direct the course of my life now and be full of joy doing it. but it took a Loooong time getting here, with many interuptions in between . GS is one huge reason why I can now. thank you .

thank you guys so much. I am going it will be a hoot to see how everyone got old ! I still think we are all eighteen on the edge of life ya know! Thomas you got the group right that is us! and then roomates and then marriages to one another and then not. it is quite the history . One girl in particular has kept us all together and she e-mailed me today she said "Well if he is in I want to see him convert so and so ( this person is still a hard core biker at fifty ! lol I think it was me the last get together that tried to agrue actualy with him and I was in an offshoot at the time ! I have since left the off shoot ! He is still in and ordained we suppose now . It is odd the way he is communicating he is in another state and isnt leaving any trail of phone or e-mail . odd isnt it? so very twi. I know a guy who was recently kicked out and he isnt doing well went into a deep depression really and I am concerned about him . I met him while in he ran the class for me the first time and I have kind of kept in touch You know it is a small world.. but he made good friends with my friend fromhigh school who is in still. I would like him to go and talk to him and maybe it will help him see all is not lost.. he never had any friends outside of twi , it was his entire life and he is is in a different state than his family now and poor etc. . It is so weird now when i was M@A that guy never shunned me ever, was always kind and giving (he never knew me outside the way) yet my dear friend who I have known since childhood hung up the phone on me and yelled and screamed at me and was as nasty as could be (He is still in twi) . I told him I never wanted him to go to end up hating me and yet he did in the name of twi. the nice guy who we met while in was kicked out about ten years later and let me tell you he did every single thing twi wanted from him, his entire life. he is just a loving guy and I want to find him and bring him so he can understand how this goes. They were good friends then. It isnt that I think they "blame" me remember I was Marked and thrown out and no one still really know the real why of that and I wont talk about it anymore.False stories of what happened were generated at the time and my buddy freaking believed them over me and that f@cking HURT! many just took the class and went to fellowship with me . it is kind of like an I told you it was a cult thing.. but like thomas said it will all melt away it will and has. If they are in and want to see me then so be it.. he is like most twi freaks and sells it at least he did the last time and the last time it was still political with the ordained fighting over rulership and man did we get into it and I left crying. but I really have changed I do not care anymmore who is who and bible wars and me are over with. I am going . I dyed my grey hairs , now to lose about twenty pounds and iron my face somehow! hehe I want to take the guy who ran the first class for us . I think it would be good for him to see this guy and be at a party with folks who can and do mingle and love without twi at the freaking center of our life. I honestly do not think he ever has been to anything without the ministry attached to it. It would be great if my friend is out as well ! that would make my day! but some of them are in the off shoots and the saga continues ya know! The friends I have that didnt go into the corps think he did it on his own they do not think it is about me they know his ego and that is what it took back then to move up the tree. most of us just went on with life as NORMAL ! thank you love mj412 [This message was edited by mj412 on November 11, 2003 at 12:34.]

yes Steve. one problem is my life is a freaking mess right now so the old How are you thing isnt good for me either ! lol I could lie and say freaking wonderful! but I wont . your right I was to afraid to deal with something a few years ago and it HAUGHTS me to this day with wondering if I should have could have and what the difference could have been. I HATE THAT!

yes with the guy who got ordained it was actualy kicking and screaming!!! he was a rabid catholic! I may go why not? your right. because Im afraid? of what? Well if they are angry I got them involved in a cult for one thing!! or if they are now selling an off shoot let me say I can think of many issues that could come up! when I say Im responsible I mean just that if they had not listened to me they wouldnt not have gotten sucked into many years of what ever we did and they did etc... they trusted me I trusted them we did it for Love at least I did. no regrets we all have quite grown up now, but I do owe them an explaination if it comes down to that.. but I am not sure if Im strong enough . I aksed them in I aksed them to get out . Twi will never leave my life maybe you cant see that.. it isnt about moving on. I have no desire to lose people I have relationships with . people who claim to love me and I back. I stay friends with those in and out and any number of places in between . to me that is loving my neighbor and not judging. I guess like roy says if I do not go I will wonder more wont I? it is partys like this that make me wish I drank alcohol tho.. thinking thinking... thank you

Im sure they are just flying in for the weekend . they live in another state . I cant call them we have been out of touch. this is a e-mail thing going down the line. Also should I tell others who love him he is in town ? it is like an open invitation asking for everyone to get together. maybe they miss us too... ! the group of friends were tight and the group of twi people were tight we are talking about a good chunk of my life not a mall scene here. I was not a fly by night way person believe me . lol and I didnt get involved through anyone but me ..I believed it man I wasnt playing around. I know some off shoots people I am inviting them. h@ll Yes !! I know some anti christians H@ll yes I willinvite them! I know some folks who ended up like me wondering what the H@ll H@ll yes I will invite them! I am going to tell everyone why not??? I will think about it . leave it up to prayer I guess and my own courage! lol listen it happens to fall on my birthday as well does God have a sense of humor or what?? hehe but sometimes thinking about it it isnt funny anymore ya know? It would hurt to know they do not love me anymore. that their love may still be connected to twi.

shellon in my case I sold the **** > I sold the **** believe me I sold the ****. but your right um what they did they did, I do not have guilt . But I am quite responsible. yes I got them involved because they care about me and what I was doing. Love is involed shellon I think that is the most difficult part . I sold it because I loved them some bought the program more than others ya know? I still love them my love doesnt end esp. since we have genuine friendships involved as well not just cult things ya know. It may have been nearly a decade now... how do I know where they are I would like to know . I do not end my love because it is uncomfortable. I think . depends doesnt it? If it goes that way suck into their party as you say I just do not know they listened to me once do I not owe them the same?

no he may not realize we are a rather large group of folks but then again he probably does... they live in another state, this is a vist.. probably here with family for the holidays and wants to arrange a meeting. oh God does no one understand how I lose my ability to remain calm in these type of gatherings? Indeed I can leave early . simple answer to that But how many months do I need to recover after wards??? so if I go what do you guys think I should say? yeah Im great? not really . I just do not want to be slapped with I told ya so or whatever living hell can happen that goes thorugh my mind when dealing with cult people . remember I love these people ... then the cult. In a way we have said good bye but do real friends ever really say good bye and I do not want to be the one who says Love isnt worth it all.

ok . this is not easy for me but I do want some of you guys to help me. Here is my story a million years ago I got a butch of high School kids involved in a cult . some stayed for a while and left some well you know yada yada yada some are in the off shoots. SOME turned into big time leaders of said cult . Got me? Well oo this is not easy . We are having a party the group of kids who hung out in the day ! The host was a major player in the way by my hand . I had left, talked to him and it was ugly. and hurt me for 6 months I cried. did I metion these were chums from many years before twi? I love them dearly we saw the death of my brother and another dear friend as young adults we love each other and always will. some people who are going never got involed many only slightly and never thought about anything regarding twi. but then the one who is having the party is or was big into it and me I was the one who got them involved. The way I see it if they are out they may hate my guts for getting them involed . if they are In they may hate me for speaking against the involement. I feel very very afraid . I want to go and see everyone I am lonely and want to see the folks who I spent so much time with, BUT I do not need stress now I have lost my job and life is hanging on by a thread around here . what do you think GS? yeah or nay? any advice on how to handle the situation would be great! I know this sounds simple but for me it just isnt I struggle with this part of mylife greatly all those I got involved etc.. please help.

to trust others takes the ability to trust yourself, ya know ? to know what you know what you know ( that was a joke) ok but my point is it was the leadership and the power plays that brought down people and how they trusted their own choices and decisions. confident is built by the doing of an action , if you can allow yourself those times to try again someday anything can be achieved if you try then it is easy . vpw talked about a baby falling and getting up again trying again till the baby walked but then ... In twi if "you fell down" (made a mistake by their opinion you wouldnt be encouraged to get up and try again you got a bad bad thing.. The idea that christians could walk by the spirit was destroyed for an individual it had to be the group think idealism. It killed the role of Jesus christ in our lifes and many began following twi as Lord. No one does knows us like God no one loves us as Jesus christ loves us yet some allowed twi to be both relationships in life. then when people got hurt they blamed God and doubted Jesus could ever really care about them . it was a cult and it was a lie . God and Jesus christ are real and know each of us as a child and friend they truly love us and we can be confident now to trust them . I make alot of mistakes I have learned it is ok because God has a job to do in saving me to the uttermost and Jesus christ will never leave me or forsake me . I can trust myself now knowing I can trust them . Trusting others is easy as well because nothing eles really matters but the Love this life can bring with his creations. I also think they put fear of the devil in peoples mind like the devil has so much power we need to be afraid of every person as they may be the devil him/her self . How stupid the devil fear. I truly believe that is christ job and the devil aint going to "get me" Jesus christ already told him who won, so he can play Im with the one who will destroy his games I think it is great life is good.

"It is the word and nothing but the word," "friends come and go but it is the word that stands". Twi often taught straight up that people came in a sorry second to what they considered "truth" I think we all can agree on that fact right? Mike even you ditch the "family" theory and will rant about how certain words of truth are to be held in a higher reason for being correct and righteous than the family word you use when explaining why vpw is better than anyone. Your quite angry at your family most of the time because they do not agree with your position at least that is how you write. If vpw never has to be accountable to what he wrote then how is it any one who reads it has to be accountable to it? double standard much? I do not understand how you can scream it is about family one minute then flip out and claim what that family says is in error and to be discounted and from the devil when they are speaking the utter truth of a situation such as where and what someone did. I hear you saying vpw could do it because God told him to put if anyone one eles thinks they can but two and two together then it is the devil talking to them. God only talks to the one man vpw? Here is the problem , if the lord tarries and fewer people know what pfal is the ONLY thing left is the books Mike and the books will be looked at with the eye of academic as the author holds no spell over them as a great leader or MOG. He will be like millions of other dead authors and looked at in only the academic sense . so to say it doest matter in some fantasy family that will all eventualy die either (from what the book says as truth or literaly ). the idea of it "being from God" will only live out your life time and then only because you believe it . In another fifty years of being dead and gone those who encounter pfal books will have only academics to look at it regardless of how much you believe what you believe. Mike listen I also think it is sad that pfal is dying and nearly gone now and will be totaly useless to people in just a few short years. I think it is good people hold people accountable even if it does hurt you , to hear negatives about an author you respect. God moves on with us Mike ,time moves on the"word lives on" it doesnt stop because someone can be critical . Or even when somone dies . Jesus Christ Lives Mike forever now and He consideres Himself our teacher and He is. God is so much bigger than one generation Mike. God didnt die vpw did. I have to close my speech with the good news Dot opened this with We have authors today working with the Lord that write stuff that is to heal us all. Jesus is a Lord of the times and people and how they think and do things change He teaches us how to live daily, it is a spirit we live within not a simple book written by any one man. It is a life given by a spirit of a most high God and a personal REal life that never ends that God is the Father of. not a stitch in time that felt good to you that cant change or refuses to change. God never changes but people do and Jesus Christ has a job to do as Lord and that is to teach us how to live in the world that constantly changes powers and principles . Vpw had his day for a select few , I will not diminish what his writings did for your life , but I will say if you want to bring up the whole family idea of what God is doing , then recognize the past is indeed the past and Jesus Christ is alive in todays world without vpw and still on the throne as King of All creation. and nothing will stop him not even death anymore. [This message was edited by mj412 on November 05, 2003 at 10:41.]

Ex your motto to blieve the best about everybody sure beats everbody is the enemy out to get ya !

now it is a TV show that is the distraction QQ? the people need you to finish the story I am a faithful reader of that story , as a reader I feel I am led to this post to remind you of your responisbilities to the posts written before this one with readers and posters have stood faithfully and waited for your deliverence.

Air no I do not think if you get alot of money for them it will make them right. Imablvr why do you say you lost your books on GS? Can you explain?

I need my books and I sure could use the money. I need them for my children to get a grip on why some things happened the way they did as they grew up. honestly my older ones remember alot of the details and why things happened the way they did but some of them do not and the books and my journals will give them more understanding some day I hope . probably after im dead tho. so im keeping them . besides heck maybe if it goes on like this by the time they get them they can make some serious money of them ! who knows how long this is going to last? will they be worth more or less in the next twenty years or so?

now even chwester agrees with my opinion of Mike.. I read to the part about a man squeezing anothers balls as a friendly hello,and said to myself only Mike would try a debate with reference to that ! Even homosexual people would be aghast at that.-(normal people) reference. what the phock this mike dude is? oh who goes there-? geez just who? I stopped reading .

"my feeling of outrage are gross exaggerations of what they should be" believe that? This is a statement of a person unable to discern right from wrong and has conflicting moral agendas. God tolerated alot of sex play? Mary was a virgin that bothers you doesnt it? your a sick demented person.

Gods and Generals is very good . no bathroom humor. it is about General Lee and the war. sencond in the trilogy . Also public television is excellent they have mystery theater, nature programs and a 40's house show which is really good...

Art a movie star? well he needs to get some hair grease or something then??/ probably not a problem these days as he went bald by now anyway. lol We are all getting old. Paul Simon is the most talented man did you hear his African tour a few years back?? OOo what a show!! will they come to NY?? probably I will go..

Being in twi changed the way I think , about many many things... After I left my conversations with people would stop short because i was thinking in manner most people do not think.. including bible verses but also morals and some weird stuff.. so it stunted me .. that is why i was drawn to an off shoot hey now we all know and relate... again but it didnt work.. so i found GS and here I see a mix of people who may have been changed in some degree to what twi was to them and others not so much and another way to much more... and I found my balance I didnt feel like a stranger in a world living in a bubble like a secret of twi speak and think.. do no let that happen the normals would need to me to explain and I couldnt I didnt even understand myself... twi makes a semi world for ya and when ya leave thaat world it takes adjusting at least it did for me... and the guilt and the thoughts of what ifI am wrong the self doubt twi teaches people is so damaging...the lack of dreams and goals all it it peeople here need a reason and the fact I was involved in twi didnt really seem a good enough reason... and I knew that so I lived like a secret life with people only sharing bits and pieces of what I was thinking about... Greasespot allows people to know it is ok we were different from the world we live in today without twi.. and to become at peace and happy it helps to hear others say yea me to or remember that? I thought I was the only one I seriously did I thought I was the only one who had issueswwith twi and that laid on my head two struggles the struggle to become real and genuine in my new world and the struggle to be ok with what I had learned in twi... Gs helps people do that I think. aalot I have never found another place willing to accept people outside of the ingrained pfal or bible whatever lifestyle thing , and also at the same time accepting of it ya know? both parts of my life needs accepting because that is who I am now and who I was both need to be dealt with.

ok for the deep lesson there QQ on the inner beauty and all yet''I will tell ya I can look at a "hot guy and see his body and see his hair and eyes and the way he LOOKS only and indeed think this is Gods master piece !! it is when they start talking that a problem comes in ... see why Im single?? getting clearer for anyone?

men have a lingerie section??? omg who knew ? I thought a towel around the waist was as good as it gets.. do tell

being "pretty is two diffeeent things for me.. The time I straighten my hair , put on uncomfortable very spiky heels, wear red lipstick and a belt with a push up bra.. is very pretty as I go out ... once or twice a year and on xmas way to much effort I am tired by the time I get to the car door and need to drink alcohol for some reason.. but then I love my silk moo moo dress with the navy blue huge flowers and nothing eles and I feel soft and relaxed... or my cotton tee shirt that is 15 years old that is extra long very worn out has half length sleeves and cotton pants with bare feet.. I feel very pretty but look like a slob to the world... see why I stay single??? my worlds collide .