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Rocky

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Everything posted by Rocky

  1. These words are mine: You're so far removed from me that you have no idea what I would or would not have a problem with. Therefore, the ONLY meaning the quote above can reasonably be taken to mean is the degree of projection you use.
  2. The Science Behind Our Need to Belong Insights into the history, present, and future of belonging research. Belonging has been a hard construct for researchers to define and conceptualise because its meaning is often drawn from what predicts it or what outcomes emerge from experiencing it. It is well known that being part of something and feeling like you belong somewhere, such as in a group, feels good to most people. And while research on belonging took place before 1995, it didn't go much further than this. However, in 1995, Baumeister and Leary’s landmark paper, “The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation,” firmly identified belonging as a universal human need, ingrained in our motivation as a species and stemming deeply from our ancestral roots. The paper resulted in a significant change in our understanding of belonging especially as it relates to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. Loneliness, caring for an older population, and school violence are just some of the problems people face today. Research on belonging has played an important role in responding to these problems and offers great relevance to educational psychology. Belonging significantly impacts student wellbeing, achievement behaviour, and mental health, making it a critically important topic for study. [Not to mention vulnerability to cult predation]
  3. Btw, a better understanding of the "real world context" of sense of belonging might be found here.
  4. It's possible you and I are not responding to each other from a common understanding of what "a sense of belonging" means. As I use it, it is ONLY an emotional condition precluding the need to FIND an outside entity/group to which you would feel the need to join in order to have the "sense of belonging." It seems, that's not necessarily the same as what you have meant. Are you able to clarify it for me?
  5. Well, I don't agree with this point. No part of what I have suggested is at all related to codependency OR loss of individual identity. However, I recognize you're not bickering. I don't take your input as at all destructive, though it's clear we're not "getting" each other. I appreciate your input.
  6. Clearly, you don't seem to grasp the concept of communication theory. Pointed out to me? Pointing out to me what you want me to have meant is totally meaningless.
  7. Fine. Granting your expanded definition, it is still unrelated to the meme and the thread. I started the thread with a view and intent to consider and hopefully get discussion about what might work, or be helpful in figuring out how to inoculate young adults against the predation of cults. Got any insight on that issue? I get that it's a HUGE question. But it's NOT about raising kids to think in terms of "us vs them."
  8. https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ According to the linked website, the current world population exceeds 8 billion people. I cite this for perspective. What in the world makes you think ANYONE of those 8Billion+ people are or will be influenced by your arguments on this thread? I started the thread with a view and intent to consider and hopefully get discussion about what might work, or be helpful in figuring out how to inoculate young adults against the predation of cults. Got any insight on that issue?
  9. Really? Who exactly do you think might possibly "get their hands off of your kids" by making any such declarations on GSC, or this thread? That doesn't make sense to me.
  10. On my sixty-eighth birthday, I decided to give my young adult children some advice. I am not a frequent advice giver but soon I was able to write down 68 bits. To my surprise, I had more to say than I thought. So for the next several years I wrote down a batch of advice on my birthday, and shared it with my family and friends. They wanted more. I kept going until I had about 450 bits of advice I wished I’d known when I was younger. I am primarily channeling the wisdom of the ages. I am offering advice I have heard from others, or timeless knowledge repeated from the past, or a modern aphorism that matched my own experience. I doubt any of it is truly original, although I have tried to put everything in my own words. I think of these bits as seeds because each one of them could easily be expanded into a long essay. Indeed, I have spent most of my time writing by compressing these substantial lessons into as compact and tweetable forms as possible. You are encouraged to expand these seeds as you read to fill your own situation. If you find these proverbs align with your experience, share them with someone younger than yourself. —Kevin Kelly, Pacifica, California, 2023 Kelly, Kevin. Excellent Advice for Living (pp. 1-2). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. OTOH, if you DON'T find any such value, by all means, ignore them. What exactly do (each or any of) you expect to accomplish by bickering with me or with the thoughts of Kevin Kelly?
  11. Well, which comes first, the chicken or the egg? I'm not sure there's a linear answer to your question. However, if your child feels emotionally secure in your home/family (which I view as a sense of belonging in that family), do you believe that will aid or compliment development of emotional maturity and strength and inner peace? Perhaps it's not a straight line from one to the other, as there likely are other complex factors that may help or hinder such development?
  12. Oh really? At what point will you consider playing well with others?
  13. Perhaps it's not (an effective meme). Are you reading trying to figure out my intended meaning? Or are you not? For example, Bolshevik's responses reflect his brazenly obvious effort to derail the thread and make it into political hogwash. How? Instead of asking for clarification, he makes declarations. "It is..." rather than "did you mean?" Btw, to make a distinction btwn twi and what the author of the book seems to have been trying to communicate, “Our family does X.” is NOT equal to "Our family IS _____." Since each (most?) of us here has parented small children, ask yourself whether you told your toddler they were bad or whether what they were doing (at a moment you wanted to change their behavior) was unacceptable.
  14. I appreciate what you're saying. I agree with your explanation and understanding of "us vs them." It's not "enthno" centric, as I understand it. https://www.wordnik.com/words/ethno- prefix Meaning race (in the sense of classification of human beings). That's a totally different concept from teaching and training children to grow into emotionally intelligent and mature individuals, and therefore less susceptible to cults. IMO.
  15. Nonsense. Just stop. Nobody said you were entitled to define my intended message.
  16. Belonging is an emotional, not (as I included it on this thread) a political concept.
  17. That's "nice." However, that is brazenly political.
  18. You might believe it to be bunk, idk. But if you believe it had been "shown to be bunk" I'd be interested in seeing where and how that was stated. Perhaps you were thinking of Daniel Goleman? Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Social Intelligence: the New Science of Human Relationships This one was published in 2006. There has been a good bit of research on the subject in the 17 years since then.
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