Belle

Hey, anyone who can spell "Y'all" properly is a-okay in my book! Welcome, hmh! If'n yer ever in the Orlando area, let me know. I love to meet fellow Greasespots.

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, HERBAL!! I baked a very special batch of brownies in your honor today. I hope it's a wonderful day!

Wow! Impressive sites, too. Not lame like TWI's. The people look like they live in this century. I'm wondering if the www.tcotw.org guys could sue TWI - they seem to have had the name longer and there are some eery similarities between the two. Lots of differences, too, as these folks seem to be continuing to grow and to really be helping folks.

She is GORGEOUS, Twinky!! So glad she's bounced back so nicely. Thanks for sharing with us. :)

I always knew you were a Super Hero, George - I was just thinking it had something to do with a green costume. How very cool! You're building great memories with those kiddos. What an awesome Grandpa!

YIPPEE!! So glad Mom's okay. Awesome, NIKA! I'm jealous that y'all are going to have such a great time, but look forward to the pictures and reminiscing here for us to experience vicariously!

Actually, Dan, there's quite a bit more to the story and this is, yet again, another situation that goes back further than perhaps you are aware of. :) It's a "not quite the whole story" kinda thing, imo. This CES section is not the only place or time that they have posted and/or "recruited" people and hawked their wares. Again, that would take time to read through some old posts and old threads. If you genuinely want them and want to spend the time to read them so that you can pass your judgement from an informed position, I'll be glad to pull them together for you. CES and STFI have a code of conduct on their website that DWBH is quoting from... looks to me like they are NOT honoring their own code of conduct. They started something here and they should finish it, imo. These are very reasonable questions and, actually, should be answered on their websites, too, but they aren't even answered there.

What's in a name?

Thank you. Thank you all. I didn't really start this to be a pity party for me.... guess hindsight's 20/20 and I feel like such a wuss when I look back on that time. It also feels like wasted time - yet a few more years I'll never get back, but could have had if I had acted quicker, bolder, louder.... I do wonder, though, what kind of toll that takes on us in addition to the spiritual abuse, the psychological abuse and everything else we had to deal with. We talk about the other stuff, but this "mask", this "fake persona", it's got to complicate the "who am I?" quest and maybe even cause problems in relationships... *shrug* I dunno. Dunno where I was going with this, either.

I cannot tell a lie, Mr. Strange, I am addicted to L'Oreal hair products. And, truth be told, my hair is now closer to a dark strawberry blond - I did just get it all chopped off, too, so there's every little of it left. I shall have to update the album to reflect the changes. Vixen, however, still looks the same. JohnHenry, my dream is to one day win the lottery. My first order of business will be to hire a full time maid cause I really do hate cleaning the house. My second order of business is going to be visiting as many beloved Greasespots as will have me. There's an awful lot of necks around here I'd like to hug. Of course, I plan to exceed the two drink limit from Rhino's wine cellar, too.

Mr. Henry, I am a mere lurker in these corps threads. :B) I was spared the corps training, however, my ex was in the 24th corps for a time. I was involved with TWI from 1993 - 2004. Many of y'all were already grown and gone by the time I even came around. I just enjoy the reminiscing, banter and fun folks who frequent these corps booths here at the cafe. I'm sure y'all are having a blast at John's site with those who do not frequent the cafe. :) My real picture is in the gallery if you'd like a face to go with the name anyway.

Happy Birthday, Squirrely One! I hope it's a good one. :)

Nandon, it's overly simplistic and basic. For the same or less money (and hassle) see if there's a Continuing Education center near you - that'll be hands on, personal instruction. If you live near a college, university or jr. college, they usually have courses like that. I ordered the stuff a few years ago and was extremely disappointed in even the "advanced" level stuff. I also had a hell of a time getting a refund and ended up disputing the charges on my credit card and letting them deal with the mess. I don't think it's a very ethical company and not worth the hassle if it's not what you need or expect.

:o :o I guess that shouldn't be shocking. It is pretty pathetic, though.

NIKA, praying for you and yours. :) JohnHenry - It is SOOOOOOoooooo good to see you making connections, finding long lost buddies and having a good time!

(((((Bolshevik))))) TWI gave us a lot of Black & White thinking patterns, standards and rules. Life just really isn't so black & white. I no longer think in terms of "is there a god or no?" and all the other variations.... we all have our "grey" areas, unknowns, etc.... but there's so much variety, prismatic versions of "belief" that can be had. It's just not an "all or nothing" 'thing' like TWI would have us to believe.

Indeed, Act2, I concur. You done good, Dooj! Thanks for bragging for all of us to rejoice with you.

He is rather remarkable, isn't he? :) I've learned a great deal from WW and really appreciate the time he spends here at the cafe.

Dunno how I missed this! I was getting ready to send out an APB on you!! Glad it is FINISHED!! I've missed you around here!

I wonder if there have been studies on anything like "Stepford Wife Syndrome". I know there's the Stockholm Sydrome, the Stanford Prison Experiment and brain washing studies, but I kinda think some of us went through a hell just a wee bit different that those two kinds of things. Like, what are the effects and consequences of living a double life? For me, I was going to TWI meetings, teaching, leading, going witnessing, running classes and living the life of a good little wayfer. Slowly I began to resent having to devote so much of my time and life to TWI. I began to internally cringe and disagree with some of what was being taught and a lot of how I saw people being treated. Then, I found WayDale and was shocked. Utterly dismayed and horrified at what I found. I was terrified of being possessed just from looking at the site, but so reassured that my doubts and questions were valid ones. Eventually, I began to post and I tried to share what I had learned with my then husband, but he was terrified. I don't know if he was terrified of having HIS fears confirmed or of getting possessed and/or kicked out of TWI. I quickly learned that I could not blatantly share what I had read with him, but did start studying the inaccuracies in TWI doctrine and teaching, as best I could, about those errors in fellowship. I tried to share my research on debt with my husband. I tried to share so much of what I was learning from WayDale, and then Greasespot with him, but he would have none of it. Five years - FIVE YEARS - I tried to get him to "wake up" and see what a farce that group is. Five years I led a double life - happy, smiling, oh-so-blessed TWIt - and, at work, insurgent - revealing every thing I could about what was going on within the walls of TWI and working with others (thank you Oak and Abi!) on wrapping my brain around all the wrong teaching, figuring out who Belle really is, how to eradicate way-brain, grow past the abuse, etc.... I was living two lives! I was two totally different people all day long, every day, for five years. It took its toll on me. I tried to quit visiting the cafe, but I could not/would not immerse myself into that cesspool of an organization again. I could see "normalcy" on the horizon and knew I would never be able to get there if I stayed with TWI. I just couldn't bring myself to cut the ties. I knew my marriage would be over if I did. Which begs the question of what kind of marriage did I have anyway if my leaving TWI would mean divorce.... Cognitive Dissonance is what they call it. And I did not make the choice - I was "found out" and kicked out. Then, because of the tension that caused, my husband left me. I took the coward's way out. I wonder if I'd still be playing that game if I hadn't gotten caught and confronted - like the robber who wants to get arrested, maybe? I wonder how mentally unstable, insane and drunk I'd be today if I was still trying to live two lives - the real me and the TWIt me.

Actually, that's a PERFECT title for a thread, Nero. For having all been involved with the same group - the experiences are as unique and individual as each one of us. It depends so much on when we were involved, who our leadership was, how old we were, whether the rest of our family and friends were involved, whether we were abused in any way prior to our involvement, what we were looking to get out of it, how far up the tree we climbed, etc., etc., etc..... Likewise our recovery and how we deal with leaving TWI will be just as unique. The journey will be very different for each of us and no one can know what's best for our own life and growth, so it's rather presumptuous for people to come on here and tell us to "get over it" - "quit dwelling on the negatives" - "take responsibility" - whatever... I was talking with a dear friend about this very thing last night. We disagree vehemently on how to handle some of those situations. *grin* But, in the end, she has to do what's best for her and what helps her keep her peace of mind - and I do what keeps me peaceful. We still love each other dearly and I'd gladly defend her in a food fight, even if I thought it was stupid for her to fling the first spoonful of mashed taters. What people, even those of us who have been around the cafe for YEARS - YEARS!! - tend to forget is that there are real live human beings on the other side of these words. There are people who have kids, pets, bills, jobs, loved ones and real life concerns, issues and - most importantly - feelings and hearts. Words do cut through the heart and hurt worse than sticks and stones sometimes. Some of us have literally cried our eyes out over some of the stuff that's gone on here at the Cafe. We've made real good friends we just don't happen to get to see face to face very often, if at all. But, what goes on here is only a very small percentage of our "real life" if you will. Getting to meet face to face, like at the Weenie Roast, the Texas BBQ, Act2 and the Sud*s meeting in Memphis, my wonderful experiences meeting up with Rascal, Notta, Eyes, Bow, Hope, Radar and others.... There's sooo much more to the folks here than what we see at the cafe and someone who presumes to know what we need is well, still TWIt brained, imo.

Seeing as how this is in the Just Plain Silly forum, I hope that it's pretty clear it is NOT a real picture of the fallen mogfart. The face comes from the WayDale gallery portion of the Cafe here, which, I will grant shows much more (and darker) hair than he's probably sporting today. The inspiration comes from the fallen mogfart's job, which has been confirmed.

Based on his last post, I'd say the problem is NOT recognized, at least not by the one who should be doing the recognizing.. :)

Yeah, not so funny at the time, was it? I relate all too well, Nero. I, also, was close to perfecting the "absolute silence in the face of repeated questioning". That was so friggin' aggravating - they tirade forever and then ask me a question but never let me get more than one or two words out before staring the tirade all over again. Nothing I could say would be right anyway, so I just quit trying and then would get yelled at for not answering them. And people wonder how I got so socially retarded. It is good to be able to laugh about it now and it helps to see how very far we've come in that aspect of our recovery.

I know a couple of squirrels who are gonna get it if they don't quit playing "chase" on my roof dark and early on the mornings I'd like to be sleeping in.... Now if I can just figure out how to give it to 'em.......