Kit Sober

On Tuesday the doctor said that Fred is termina, with only "days or weeks" to live. I slipped at the hospital and broke my leg in two places and now I am on crutches and severly limited in what I can do. Received this story. Today the doctor called me over to tell me he could go any time (44 years we have been together). And the "check engine" light came on the car. Things go wrong daily and I am trying to retain my confidence and faith in God, find the way to see His healing come to pass in our lives and feel like I am getting blindsided. Then I got this in an email So it really seems that living in the confidence of God has nothing to do with how much the adversary throws at us. That's what I am trying to get into my life -- His peace and confidence, faith and trust, His Love, no matter what happens.

I was reading about agape love and the power it gives to overcome fear -- How Peter only had phileo love when Jesus asked him, "Do you love (agape) me?" and Peter answered I phileo you (John 21:17). Without the power of agape love, Peter would deny Jesus when the pressure was on. And then after Pentecost, Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit was able to stand boldy and proclaim Jesus. Jesus told Peter that after the Holy Spirit came upon him he would be a witness -- martus (from which we get the word "martyr." (Acts 1:4-8) And I was reminded of Jeremiah, my friend the prophet. At the beginning of his "ministry" the Word of the Lord came to him and said,"Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD" (Jeremiah 1:8). When I first sunk into Jeremiah it seemed to me that if Jeremiah was smart, when the Lord said this, he would have asked, "And just from what will you be delivering me?" Maybe if Jeremiah had asked such a question (there is no time lapse noted between the Lord's promise of deliverance and His ability to reach into Jeremiah and touch his lips with the coal.) BUT, if Jeremiah had asked the Lord for an example of what He would be delivering him from, and had seen that he had a future of such things as being buried in human excrement, being drug out with "clotted rags," etc., rather than a glory walk in the sunshine, he might have requested a bit of time to think about it. Anyway, so it is with the "power of the Holy Spiirt." It sounds really good, but the power, as Jesus Christ synthesises it is for us to become martyrs. We have the strength to, like Peter did, request to be crucified upside down because he knew he was unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as His Lord. The world really does hate Jesus Christ people, and I believe we need to consider deeply whether or not we are in this agape stuff for real and for "all the way" with Him. We do have the goal of being seated at the marriage supper of the Lamb, reigning with Him, etc., but there is a cost in this life, which we must consider whether we are willing to pay. There are people today whose prayers are in harmony with the Psalm 9:13, "Have mercy upon me, O LORD; consider my trouble which I suffer of them that hate me, thou that liftest me up from the gates of death: 14 That I may show forth all thy praise in the gates of the daughter of Zion: I will rejoice in thy salvation." Watchman Nee wrote of a soldier in the communist army (circa 1956) who, after witnessing the slaughter of a Christian, was so struck by the power of the love in the Christian that he ran to where the Christian was and said, "I happily take his place," and was martyred also for the Lord, by his choice. Something to think about, because we also are slated for such things when strengthened by the power of agape.

Interesting. As reading yesterday I came across Romans 14:22, "Happy is the he who condemns not himself in that thing which he alloweth.." and could easily see, now, that this scripture was pointing out how if one "allows" things that are what the Lord calls good, he will be healthy and happy and blessed to live a long life (that's the promise for honoring your parents), and I put a discussion over in doctrine forum here because it was a discussion of scripture vp abused and used to validate his sin and encourage others to go along with him on the road to hell. Additionally I received an email regarding prayer that noted the more we pray the closer we get to God's heart and the luster of sin fades and the beauty of God's ways and the way of holiness becomes more alluring.

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bringing to top. Nice music from a kindhearted man.

They came to Boomtown Reno (where I work) for the last two years (2010 and 2011), about the same time (August 20th or so). It was great to see them. David Garibalxxx was the same as always, and even more so focused, intense, great drums, kind words to say to an old lady from years ago in Oakland. Reminded me how much I miss Skip Mesquite who was such a precious gem. (His in memorium thread is here.)

Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth -- Romans 14:22 This is one of those hallmark verses used to condone sin; however that's not what the verse is saying at all. The wages of sin is death. (Romans 6:23) If one does drugs, the body, including the mind which is part of the body, will be destroyed. If one commits adultery, pornography, etc. he or she will destroy their marriage and hurt many people. if one eats [too much] sugary foods and generally is out of balance in the food category (gluttony), obesity, diabetes and other bodily malfunctions will occur. Happy, however, is he who allows what the Bible says to allow, moderation in all things, controlling of the mind and body, remaining true to the Biblical standard of relationships, etc. A happy person is one who is not a hypocrite but practices what he or she preaches. Of course, sin is our nature, but Jesus Christ has come that we might have life and have it more abundantly. For me, that means the Holy Spirit, the Comforter He left us, will help us on our way to the Father's heart by His gift of life. And we have examples to follow in the world of men and women who have done so (to greater or lesser degrees) -- Billy and Ruth Graham, Oral Roberts, etc. I have known pastors and priests and many ordinary folk who do their utmost to live the Word they know, and they have been examples to me and given inspiration and hope to keep on keeping on in this way of holiness, which is really real. Some of these inspirational people are those I have met at the Greasespot Cafe, with many thanks.

I think this was the first Super Bowl that was available to watch on the internet. I usually am busy doing other things and don't watch, but this way it was nice addition to be a part of such a cultural display. Of course I have been praying for everyone to be safe and have a nice time.

Preacher's kids (PKLs) always have it especially tough. I am praying for him. (Ralph Graham, Billy's son and the head of that ministry has a $1 million dollar house, which has hindered his testimony of living for the Lord and helping the poor.. . . The temptation to lust in any category is always present and especially so for PKs. I hope and pray I will be found at the judgment to have been praying for these people and their needs I see and not to be part of the plot to destroy them by condemning and judging and casting the black stones at them.

The way of a shepherd with His sheep (ref Psalm 23) does not = what we grew to live with in twi. Kind of like the frog in a pot of water with the heat on -- he slowly gets cooked and doesn't realize it until it's too late to jump out. On a facebook discussion, I brought up Del Duncan's name and different people responded. I think Del Duncan showed the face of Jesus Christ to a lot of people -- His kindness, His happiness with our presence in His company, His desire to see us healthy, happy and whole. Del Duncan and Michael Martin certainly brought Jesus Christ alive into my life. And I was thinking that Del lured a lot of people into that twi place by the real presence of God in which he lived. Then after Del and others who lived in the presence of the Lord were gone, many were (including me) like the frog being cooked -- we stayed until our goose was cooked, and depending upon how cooked we were before we escaped that twi place, had differing levels of dead meat to get revitalized by the Lord. But never never never did those yelling things help. Jesus never yells at me no matter how stupid I am. One time when I was still at Rome City one guy was going to yell at me and had his mouth open ready to "let er rip," and I told the Holy Spirit if he did so I was leaving -- the guy looked at me and just shut his mouth and walked away. My time at Rome City was precious to me because of the Bible time I was able to soak in (When I left Rome City my "WOW" year was a hell on earth and then after getting kicked out of the "corpse" I went back to full time working at a job, cleaning. doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. and didn't have that luxury to read and study and soak in Bible stuff.)

---- On the subject of questioning my faith.... I was reminded in an email today of how precious that faith was when I first believed, and I think that the moment by moment confirmation of confidence in the Lord is what keeps that newness alive my relationship with Him (or them, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit). Same with speaking in tongues. I must constantly remind myself and struggle to overcome complacency in regard to speaking in tongues and prayer with my understanding, which I believe is the way we "pray without ceasing" -- instantly confirming our dependence and craving for the Lord and His kindness into our lives and into the lives of our family, friends, and other loved ones. And if you run out of things to pray for, there are heartrending prayer requests here: http://www.greasespotcafe.com/ipb/forum/7-the-prayer-room/

my apologies for not being clear.... I was speaking of questioning myself in light of what the Bible says and what the Lord says and what the devil says I remember a dear friend, towards the end of his active ministry saying "I don't even need to think about speaking in tongues any more, it just comes naturally." And that statement filled me with dread for his life. Acts 17:11 gives us the key to nobility in God's eyes, to daily search the scriptures whether those things are so. Daily we must decide whether to believe the Lord or go with the flow (downhill). when I was much younger and surrounded by the cheer leaders of friends it was easier to choose right from wrong, but now it's a bit more challenging because my body (including my mind) is falling apart, I'm pretty much alone day by day, the company I work for is in final stages of closing of sale to another company and I have only hope I will find another job due to having become deaf, etc. etc. Life is minute by minute deciding how and what I will do. It's easy for me to know that God is love, that Jesus Christ is Everything, but the decision is whether or not He is truly my Lord in the minutes of my life. The hypocricy of the twi led us down the road of hypocricy whereby it was no problem to say "Jesus is Lord" with our mouths, but the minutes of our lives were not required to be in subjection to Him. Therefore instead of using the fleeting days of the exuberance of youth to firm up the muscles of our faith, we were left with flabby hypocricy in daily life, which eventually must be dealt with if one wants to stand before the Lord and have Him say, "Well done, beloved and faithful servant." That's all I was saying.

Questioning my faith: in my opinion every moment is a question of whether or not I have faith. The challenge of each minute (I had some big ones today that left me in tears) requires that I come to the decision to believe what is written in the Bible and what the Lord says directly to me or not. That's the question of faith with which each person must deal with on a moment by moment basis. No Christian who has lived more than a few moments as such can say he or she has not had to deal with the question of faith at least once or twice. (is the Holy Spirit with me? Am I a failure? Am I alone? Is God real? Who is this Jesus Christ?) I got a new "grand" who decides at each every-so-often whether to laugh (we are with her) or to cry (she's all alone and IN NEED). She must decide what she is going to believe. Pearls before swine: In my opinion, the "pearls" are God's precious people, and the "swine" are the demons/the ways of the world. People such as wierwille cast God's precious people to demons/to the ways of the world because he lied and cheated and stole in the name of God and His Holy Word and caused many to reject the Lord because of his example. This also fits with my understanding of the "nicolaitanes" who God hates (Rev 2:6,15) with the interpretation that the "nicolaitanes" are people (laos) overcomers (nike) -- I believe it's those who overcome people's free will and enslave them into the world. similar scripture handling as viewing the Book of Acts being addressed to "theophilus" as those precious beloved of God rather than a single person named Theophilus.

When I "met" Watchman Nee it was so exhilirating. Watchman Nee had this kind kind of kindness that I always knew a shepherd would have --- the kindness of quiet careful tenderness in which a sheep could rest and take comfort. I had studied over and over the words of Jesus and it was always amazing to me how he never yelled (except like from the cross). But when he threw the animals out of the temple he "said" (simply said, not yelled), "you have made my Fathers house a den of thieves." Over and over it's like that where I thought the "righteous anger of yelling" would be confirmed in scripture, Jesus just "said." And then I met Watchman Nee who did that. He had that careful kindness which took my breath away. He was already dead when I first heard of him, but his works were still being "written." (People who transcribed his sermons some 30+ years ago. Anyway. There's no scripture for yelling and like others have pointed out, having no compassion for the person to whom you speak. By the love you have one to another shall men know that you are my disciples is how Jesus spoke. WIthout love (the charity kind of love) we are just clanging cymbals. And Excathedra. . . I am one of those who LOVED the word "and" and have never tired of looking at it and seeing how and what it ties together. "But" etc. etc. I loved Donna Randall's class on little words that do big jobs. One of my favorites.

And on the other hand I worked for a doctor here in Reno who spent so much time with patients I made up a permanent (laminated so it wouldn't get dog-eared) "Dr is behind schedule" sign. He handled a lot of welfare cases and tried to help people get of drugs etc. He was a treasure, and his patients never minded waiting to see him.

I have a sister who is a doctor, my brother was studying to become a doctor before he went deaf, and I worked directly for doctors for 10 years (and had one special friend among them). In my opinion, there is a "heart" of a doctor (dentists are doctors, too), a heart of compassion and mercy and humility, knowing they have been given a gift of knowledge and skill etc. that belongs to the world and is not a reflection upon their "greeatness" but on God's kindness to the world. Similar truth holds to a "minister" -- Billy Graham has shown to be a true "minister." Others are not so. I recently had an appointment with a new doctor to see if there was anything medically to do about my deafness, and although he could not help me, he was one of those kind kind of doctors, and it was just so nice to be truly "under the care" of him. He gave me a hope for living. Nice. Some doctors go into the business to make money and never "get it." I think the arrogance and stuff comes with a lack of central integrity before the Lord. Anyone who knows the Lord cannot be arrogant and anyone who does not know the Lord is susceptible to arrogance: God has so graciously given so much capacity to learn ("brain power") to people, and so few have the means to make use of what they have; therefore one who has the means to learn could easily feel better than others if he does not recognize the precious privilege of having the education, the support system, etc. which allowed him to be in the position of becoming a doctor. (Our mom would always say, "there but for the grace of God go I" when referencing someone in social pains of poverty in any area.) I think that the new CBS tv show "A Gifted Man" (which I have watched on the computer) correctly portrays a doctor, although the spiritual "before the Lord" business is murky. Albert Schweitzer is my paradigm of a good doctor -- He loved God above all and used his knowledge and ability to help and teach others, and he put much of his life to music, and thereby demonstrated the music and poetry of the Lord as well as the medical relief he gave to so many.

So happy for you to be going to school. It's so hopeful and sunrisy (there's a sunrise each morning you see and contemplate how precious it is). Sounds like a real challenge with the poetry. My son has other things he is doing in school that sound so totally out there from when I was/am in school. God bless you in your education. I know you have fun living your dream. What is your goal? (I need to keep up with classes, seminars, webinars, etc. to keep my certification current. I am so blessed and thankful.)

This Tim Tebow is a hopeful thing to me. John 3:16 has been my theme verse for almost 40 years and I never thought it applied to yards a quarterback passed in a game or number of yards per completed pass by that same quarterback who loves the Lord Jesus with all his heart soul mind and strength. To me, "That's football :)" If you do a search for John 3:16 there are stories about how this verse has had multitudinous searches (That's one verse you can't read too much:) ) Anyway I just loved it and felt a bubble of laughter rise on an otherwise dismal horizon of my heart. Thank you O Wonderful and Mighty Jesus!!!!! This is a quote from Fox News, not a Christian news service. It's really really really really difficult to get a Bible quote in a secular news story. Many wonderful Christians have tried and the news service routinely eliminates Bible references and that precious Jesus Christ name, but here they both are. What a great story, in my opinion.

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I used to think having anything to do with the internet was a sin. Now it appears to me that "people overcomers" (those who arrest free will) are the greater sinners. and the sin before God by which I will be judged and rewarded according to how we have lived our lives before Him. (in the line of "whatsover a man sows that shall he also reap")

A dear friend sent this to me today, and I thought someone else would like it also: Spinach souffle 1 can of spinach almost all drained 1 can of tuna in water drained 2 eggs 1 pack of ritz crackers smashed 3 cups of shredded cheese mix in bowl sprinkle some cheese on top and bake 375 for half hour it;s good for you and it taste good even cold, my son would eat this when he hardly ate anything good for him,my brother ate it and he disliked spinach could not beleive it had spinach in it

The skit guys with the Skinny on New Years Resolutions: here

It came as a terrible shock to me in looking through the reference of important people in Christianity (came with my Bible program), and vpw wasn't anywhere in there.

So sorry Jerry B. It was the cult mentality I was railing against, not you. It is painful to me to see so many precious people isolated from "Christian circles" which to me are part of God's protection plan for His people. Also remember that I became Catholic and it's pervasive non-judgmental acceptance of others. I mean really non-judgmental. The Catholic woman who lured me into this Catholic thinking only thought nice things of people. I used to think she was really stupid to not be able to criticize people as fluently as me. Now I only try to be more like her because I believe that such cleanness towards others allows them to see and accept or not the Lord on their own first-hand understanding. Which to me is the opposite of what the twi experience developed into as it overstepped and crushed others' free will. Again, Please accept my apology Jerry.