Thomas Loy Bumgarner

AC: Good evening. I'm Alan Colmes. Sean Hannity is tonight rooming with Oliver North and Michael Reagan in Belleview(please no Belle jokes). Joining us is former PREZ of Der Weg Multinational is our own version of LL Kool, Craig Martindale. CM: Say Alan, is that devil-possessed bitch Ann Coulter one of our guests tonite? My ex would love to hook up with her. AC: ah, no exactly. She's not scelduled for tonight. Didn't you have a major ranting and bloviating contest with Bill O'Reiley earlier this evening? CM: I just said he was the most riddiculous thing of the day and he threatened to punch out my lights. Security had to arrest MR. O'Reiley when he called them jerks and threatened to sue Rupert Murdock and Roger Ailes for firing him instantly on the air. AC: Weren't you suppose to appear on the gameshow "Are Way Leaders smarter than a 5th Grader?" CM: I know for a fact that Jeff Foxworth is devil possessed and I wasn't going to waste my time with those brats from hell.

VPW: Enough of this pussyfooting around and no I did not mean to use a double entendre there. JF: Choose another subject. VPW: 2nd grade grammar. JF: Name the different cases used. Jacob has locked in his answers. VPW: I am going to use my peek. JF: Jacob said nomative, genetive, and accussative. VPW: I am going with his answer. JF: You just won $10,000. VPW: I am going to stop, drop-out and say "I am not smarter than a stupid 5th grader". JF: Thank God, because I was just about to have a major migraine and have to ask Fox for a three month vacation/sabbattical from this gameshow. Bye all. (Title Music) Are you smarter than a 5th grader? I've got my pencil and eraser.....(Music trails off). Turning the channel to Fox News. Annoucer:coming up next is Hannity and Colmes with substitute host L.L. Craig Martindale filling in for Sean Hannity.

JF: Please, this is a family show. VPW: 5th grade world history. JF: What did the council of Nicea in 313 AD discuss as the topic and who was the emperor? Marki has locked in her answer. VPW: I am going to say that Constantine was emperor and the topic was about the heresy of Jesus Christ being God in human flesh and there being a trinity, and I am locking in my answer. JF: Believe it or not, regardless of your theology you just won $5000. Who are your supporters with you? VPW: My son Donnie, wife Dotsie. JF: Time to choose another classmate. VPW: How about Jacob? That's a good Biblical name. Reminds me of a young Craig Martindale before going to OSU(Oklahoma State University). J: I think I just been insulted. Meet me after this show for a fight on the school ground, punk. JF: Now don't lower yourself to his level.

Jeff Foxworthy: Please Victor, choose a reasonable topic. VPW: ok, quit your whining. 1st grade science. By the way, any relationship to Rosie the Fox? JF: God I hope not. Here's your question for $1000. Darwin rejected creationism. True of False? Spencer has locked in his answer. The others like Kyle, Jacob, Alana and Marki have also completed there answers, and yes completely absolutely totally completed in writing down there answers. VPW: Is that from the Greek or Aramaic? JF: I don't care! VPW: I am going to say true. JF: Well Spencer and everyone else said false, but you got $1000 because of your save. Time to choose another classmate. VPW: How about that cute blonde Marki? How about in ten years visiting my bus, darling? M: Watch it pervert or I'll get Dateline's Chris Hansen on your case, or America's top 10 wanted.

JF: Try picking a subject that's part of the catergories. VPW: I like math. How about 3rd grade Bullinger's Numbers in Scripture? S: Where is he getting these nonsense things? JF: Maybe I should call you Vicky. VPW: Watch it, queer. I don't care if you are a millionaire with those redneck albums. I know the truth about you and Larry the cable guy. JF: Just like Craig and Donna Martindale. We need to go to a commercial and get me some asprin, please. S: Jerk! Annoncer: More of "Are Way leaders smarter than a 5th grader?" when and if we come back.

JF: And now let us meet our next contestant. He attended New Knoxville Elementary school, let's welcome Victor Paul Wierwille. VPW: Jeff, I know you are a redneck, but does that make me one too? JF:From what I heard, Vic from your detractors, the answer is yes. Now, you know the rules. We have 5 adorable brats, I mean kids to help you out. So, who do you want to chose? VPW: How about Spencer? Hey boy, you interested in being president of a major Biblical Research and teaching ministry? S: No thanks, to much hard work and no fun. JF: Vic, which grade and subject? VPW: How about Koine Greek spelling for 1st grade? JF: Sorry Victor, that isn't one of the topics.

Time to play another game show based on former TWI leaders. If you loved The Weakest Link and Deal or No Deal, now comes Jeff Foxworthy testing VPW, LCM on whether they are smarter than a 5th grader on secular subjects such as spelling, history, math, science, geography, etc. Somehow I think both would flunk and lose any money(even if they "peeked " at grade school kids answers) and be embarrassed by saying "I am not smarter than a fifth grader". Now that would be fun! Anyone want start this? Last couple times I did the whole thing.

Heck, they should get the Women of Faith singers. Give me Casting Crowns, Newsboys, Rebecca St. James, Don Moen, Bill Gaither, Ted Ferrell, Brian Bliss, Dean Ellenwood, Good Seed, Pressed Down, Paul Vergilio, Johann Sebastian Bach, Paul Manz, Paul Weber, Donald Busarow, anyone but these poor excuses for musicians. Put them out of their misery now!

Does that mean I can apply for Rosie's position when she falls asleep(permanently)?

Copenhagen(or is it Officer Flanigan), did you say the Fox has a plan? Well, I am the Hunter. Horace, don't bug me boy, But Unk, I know that the Fox is deceptive. oops, thought this was Cartoon Network/Boomerang Channel.

Roy, thought they were already used car salesmen

Roy, unfortunately merchandise for books, music, CD's, etc are today's "indulgences" for all Christian organizations/institutions. Although they all would deny it, it is salvations by knowledge/information(works), not God's grace and love. But that's my 2 cents. Your information may vary differently.

It is interesting that Martin Luther suffered bi-polar/manic-depression through out most of his life. I bet Wierwille and Martindale, plus Geer would say ol Marty was devil possessed.

Coolchief, Laura says she is from Argentina and proably doesn't speak English. or to say it, Laura habla ingles por favor por nosostros. pardon me, gracias. Thomas

Why on earth didn't the board fire/boot out Mark and Karen as cancer to the body of Christ? I don't care that their constitution forbids it. And yes John Schoenheit and John Lynn should have told everything about the lawsuit regardless of what their lawyers might advise them.

Dear Bolveshik and Foot on the Rock, Welcome to Greasespot Cafe. Take your shoes off, sit down at the bar. My name is Thomas and I am your matre'de. Raf will be your waiter for today and Mr. Ham will get your drinks. May I suggest the mint julep and Lexington NC barbeque with bannana pudding as desert? :D

Today Polar Bear we will work on our B's.

If that doesn't work, you can play record/tape/CD of Beautiful Ohio.

The greatest secret in the world today actually is what is inside a woman's purse, despite what Vp said.

In the Southeast, soft drinks used to be called sody-dope or simply dope(because Coke used to have suppossedlt cocaine originally). I say Toe may toe, not toemattoe, and Greacy, not greazy. But your pronunciation may vary differently(BYPMVD) :lol:

Now class, please turn to your hymnals to that old Paul Rader classic "Only Believe" Remeber VPW singing that at ROA?

Oeonophile, yikes! I remember the late Reverand Dr. Michael McDaniel, Bishop of the NC Synod required that state song be sung at the begining of every Synod Convention/Assembly after singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Wow!. It said I was from Pennsylvania, but I was born in Kansas, and have lived nearly all my life in the Southeast. But then, i have been watching too much BBC America. :blink:

Looking back, it seemed like a episode of the TWIlight Zone or The Outer Limits.

Maybe we can get Ted to record this for us. BTW Paw, how about interviewing Ted Ferrell for the next Radio Cafe?