FreeAtLast

CW: Great points. I love what you have said. There IS NOTHING to salvage because it's all out here on sites like GS and the other groups out here where we keep the comraderie, friendship and love we had contributed back then alive. There's nothing left to salvage because it was never really destroyed, just moved outside of the organization. Great thoughts. The way will remain wealthy and legalistic, and we out here will still provide the love, prayers, support, friendship and even doctrine (when desired) alive for each other. So maybe what happened in the Way was good for God. Because we are all free to live for him in the Grace he intended for us to live. God I love what you said CW. It all makes so much sence.

God I think I knew this guy. The last name is sooooo familiar.

cool pm me.

Got in at 11. Took the class at 12. Stayed until I was 39. 28 years in all. Hate to call them wasted years because I am who I am because of my experiences in life. And I kinda like who I have become. But at times I am tempted to believe it was a wasted life.

Belle, this year is tight for me but maybe next year. I have a guy friend who wanted to go this year but couldn't because of legal matters. Next year though. Sturgis is his ROA.

I have this inner urge to be the Redneck Woman like BikerBabe but haven't been able to bring that image accross. Many times I think Had a Bad day by Daniel Powter. But my all time theme song would have to be Drive by Incubus. Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I cant help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague Haunting mass appeal Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive, oh oh It's driven me before, it seems to be the way That everyone else get around Lately, I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there Would you choose water over wine Hold the wheel and drive Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there

As I said on the group and will re-iterate here Robi I have to agree with you. It is unsalvagable, the original heart brought in by the California hippies will never be regained. The Egotisitcal nature of the ultimate leaders (VPW and Craig) has been passed down throughout the generations of the Way and that is what is cultivated in the individuals who decide to stand with the organization. If your personality doesn't match with that be prepared to be shunned.

Bluzman - the term hermaphrodite comes to mind.

Hope you have a happy birthday

Belle: Haven't been yet but it is one of those events I would like to do once in my life. I think I will pass on the nudity though. And will I bring my children? He@$ NO!!!

Jennifer Nessle!!!!! OMG, you are a grown up now. Your mom and dad are loving wonderful people. Give them my love sweetie. Your dad has been there for me through some really tough situations. Sorry that people are referring to them in a negative manner. You go girl!!

HCW. Love the Borg references. Resistance is futile. Sorry so many seem to be attacking you. Know that some of us appreciate you sharing your experience and the rest should realize that eyewitness accounts are told from the point of view of the eye witness. It took a lot of courage for you to come out here and do this and I for one wanted to let you know I don't question your motive for doing this or your opinion of what happened. That is for you to sort through for yourself. On the other hand I appreciate you recounting the story for the MANY that did not have even an incling of an understanding as to what happened that day and now some of the details have been laid out for us thanks to your willingness to share.

I haven't finished reading this entire thread but I must say this is enlightening. Thanks HCW for sharing. My final year in residence during Rodeo School about 40% of the people in that event got injurred. Some seriously. I was among them. But because there were no outward injuries I was subjected to having my injuries attended to by prayer only. When I got home I was allowed to visit the chiropractor who was sanctioned by the Way because he himself was a Corps grad. He charged me 5 dollars a visit which I had to take out of my monthly allowance. Many weeks I had to see him multiple times. On 30 dollars a month you can imagine my laundry piling up. Thank God it was toward the end of the year and I smudged a little and went over. When the Doctor x-rayed me he found a bruised heart, liver, diaphram, and gall bladder. My ribs where pulled away from my sternum, and my ankle was broken. I never had a cast to protect my ankle and since it was so close to the rock I had to work doing physical labor. If I complained I was told I was weak. I did have a work co-ordinator that would allow me to sneak into his office and lay down if the pain got too intense, and he also took me to see the Way's doctor when I was in such pain that I couldn't stand it. The doctor told me I should not be doing any physical labor but everyday I was forced to rake, and shovel and whatever else needed to be done. 4 years ago I had to have my gall bladder removed. 2 years ago I had to have open heart surgery. I had a tumor lodged in the right ventricle of my heart. I was told it was due to an injury that prompted scar tissue to form and eventually that scar tissue became a living tumor. I had it removed, it was benign but it caused an upheaval in my life that you just can't even begin to imagine. Homelessness was the end result. Here I was a single mom with 3 kids and no where to live. And all because the Way frowned on getting our physical matters taken care of. I read this post and I want to cry for all those involved in such a devastating experience. It reminds me of a Stephen King novel, and living through that had to have also caused psychological issues as well. Howard I am truly amazed at how healthy you are and how you are able to talk about this topic with us. I can't say thank you enough, and reading this I can allow myself to realize that I was NOT weak because I was unable to handle those tasks without pain. THANK YOU!!!!!

qtana, No problem. Hope you are able to sort through the crap you were fed as a child. You seem to have a really good attitude to start out with. You will probably do just fine.

Let's all have a moment of silence. Ok back to life!!!! lol

There's always the Burning Man in the desert. I hear that is even more exciting. Music, Camping, pottying in trash buckets, producing artwork, burining it down, and lot's of nudity (there are also family camp sites for those wanting to avoid the public displays from what I am told). I was going to go this year for the first time, but time and money were a factor in my remaining home this time around. It sounded to me like the ROA with a bit of immorality.

Happy B-day Raf. You are just a kiddo.

how about If you like it with sprinkles?

Also to add, I remember getting slapped upside the head because I told my dad that I was going to go to College and study engineering. He told me that I was going into the Way Corps and going to serve God. I told him it was MY life and that I would do with it as I saw fit. That's when he slapped me and told me that listening to the radio had caused my attitude. Billy Joel had a song out around that time called My Life. I am still angry today about that one because here I am 43 going to college as I wanted to at 16. I went into the Corps and ended up "Serving God" as my dad had planned for me. The biggest battle I have in my head is not to feel that my life has been wasted. I kinda like who I am today and I wouldn't be that person without the experiences of my past. Try to get hold of the book "The Cult that Snapped" by Karl Kahler. It has really been a must in my recovery from the Way. After being out 4 years I have finally gotten to the place where I could look at the Way honestly and Karl gives some historical information on the true attitudes and errors of the Way. He backs it up with proof. It's a great book!!!

I got in the Way when I was 11 and didn't leave until I was 39. I saw a change in the way children were treated. When I was 11 and 12 there was a great emphasis on children and training us up or indoctrinating us. Not only did they have children's fellowship at every big event but we had our own fellowships on Saturday afternoons and summer programs that even us kids were involved in putting on. As a teen my teenage brother was asked to handle the teen fellowship and we were given our own fellowship in addition to the regular fellowships and were asked to be involved in the meetings in areas of setup and way productions. We were on class crews and involved where ever the adults were involved. At the ROA however we were let to run free. As long as we didn't cause a raucus and wake people up we were allowed to run freely. Our parents were busy "getting into the Word" while we were busy getting into trouble. Now as for me I always had that good girl mentality, but I spent numerous afternoons in my teen years with family corps kids who were drinking, carousing (driving off ground with no one knowing this), and I knew of a couple who engaged in sex before they were 16. I was appalled at this even then. As I got older and started having my own kids we were to keep these kids under the subjection at all times. I remember getting reproved because my 2 year old was playing with the socks on her feet during the 10 minute prayers the leaders would execute. I was told that she should be sitting still during prayer and that it was unruly for her to play with her socks. I felt like I had to reprimand the poor kids constantly. Children's fellowship was something they had to get the kids out of the room so the adults could concentrate on the Word being taught, which by then had no heart left in it. We did have one woman who seemed to focus on the kids but they were for the most part an after throught The ROA had become different too. We were supposed to know where our kids were at all times. Everything seemed to change from the time I was a kid. My kids weren't allowed the same freedoms and honestly knowing what went on back in my childhood I was ok with that. The ROA ended though before I really had to worry about those behaviors anyway.

Well when I first came out here 4 years ago, I had just left the Way after 28 years. I was practically raised in the Way. (11 when I got in). So I was truly Free At Last. lol. Now I have been free from the cult's grip for a while and find there is still much to deal with. Like a WASTED life!!!!! If you take a pic of your clan by some digital measures ie, cell phone or digital camera and then upload the pic that way. Otherwise a scanner can always produce a jpg that you can upload. looking forward to seeing the rest of your lovely clan.

Congrats. My dad was an awesome golfer but I never tried the game. Maybe someday. Hope you get to play today!! Man what a job!

Thanks, my dad is there now. It's sad really to see a man so full of life become so devastated. And even sadder to see my mom with so much life left in her struggling to care for him. It is definitely survival at this point in time for them.

So there is a girl in your herd. Now that you have started with the pics got any of your whole family? Someday I will have to post our family pics. When my kids are a little older. Thanks for sharing your family with us.

Internet friends/dating? Good Story: I have met some great friends on the internet. One guy who although he is bi-polar is a phenominal man. Has overcome insurmountable odds. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. I have met him on several occassions. He even spent the night at our home during 2 different times when he was travelling. But I had met him several times before and when he was in rehab I visited him regularly there. He just recently lost his family and again, at the news of his wife's intentions to divorce him he made sound decisions and is doing awesomely. Not so good? I have met Numerous psychos online as well. Guys who want to get married a week after the first face to face. Being a single mom of 3 getting out is a bit difficult, so I turned to the internet. But I have since removed my profile from every dating site I was on. What I found happening was after I deleted them they would reappear and then I would get emails saying I had responses from sites I had never even signed up for. I still get emails, they are relentless. Someone once asked me what I thought of internet dating. I think it's like what fast foods are to the restaurant business. Many people are out there to find someone and get married and don't want to invest the time it takes to really get to know someone. And thus the relationship causes unhealthy consequences to that person. IMO you can't get to know someone online because you can't be sure that they are being honest. People can be whoever they want to be online and I have found this true in 85% of the guys I have met 3-d. They aren't who they presented themselves to be. How I have handled my online experiences is like many have posted already. correspond on the dating site for a while and when I felt they weren't internet stalkers I would give them my real email. Not the email my personal friends have but another email address that I use for things like signing up for games sites etc. Once I give them my email they also have access to my yahoo IM, but I am always hidden. I just don't have the time to chat on the computer all the time so when I am out there I hide. So IM is only for a select few. If they prove to be someone I might want to get to know offline the next step is to offer my cell number. (it's not as easy to trace where I live with that number.) Then I will spend a while talking on the phone. They can't backspace so you learn more about someone talking real time. Usually that's where it ends for me. ( I hate talking on the phone - especially when there's nothing really riveting to talk about.) The next step is to meet. If the conversation is good and the person seems honest I meet at Lola's. My favorite coffee shop. The people there know me and I am safe. If we have a good conversation and there seems to be chemistry there is a public park across the street from Lola's and I will either go there to hang or we will move it to dinner or dancing depending on the mood and the time of day. It takes a few of these neutral meeting times before I am ready to have them pick me up at my house. If it gets to that point I meet them outside my house because I don't want the kids to meet a guy unless it seems that he will be around for a while and at this point I am still not really positive. To get to the point of considering long term possibilities (ie: marriage, moving in, etc) imo takes at least a year. You gotta learn what you can live with and find out if there is something you absolutely can't live with. Like my last bf (didn't meet him online - long story there). But he not only drank more than I liked he was a mean drunk and he gambles. Texas hold-em is his real love and I took a back seat to the booze, the cards and his buddy Mike. Those were 3 things I couldn't live with. He actually saw his buddy Mike more than he saw me. In a 2 week period I saw him once. It was after that I realized that I wouldn't be able to go the long haul with him. I found that out in a little over a month. Things that were unveiled as time went on. The final straw there was his pathological need to lie. Enough said, he was history. You can't find these things out just by sending emails back and forth. You have to spend face to face time with a person over an extended period of time to really know if a guy/girl is going to be someone you can live with. Anyway, that's my philosophy on the point.