FreeAtLast

My mom was always my best friend growing up. Even now when something good happens she's the first person I think about sharing it with. Even when bad happens she is the person I cry to. Mom's are great. My dad is funny, he's never been nurturing and now he has dementia and never remembers what he said 2 minutes prior. But I love him. He's my dad.

Well in my case he is paying our rent now so I really don't want to risk what he is contributing to try and get back child support.

Well I have seen that with non corps kids too. And my high school sweetheart when into the family corps and came back with a little bit of a hard butt attitude.

I have been told to do that so many times but it's just not worth the fight.

Lori, That's what I find as well. The ones who don't remember the way love church and the one who does hates it. Just tonight I overheard her telling a friend that she isn't going to the Wednesday night church thing with her friends. She told her friend it wasn't because she was against God just organized religion.

Bliss, I know this is a off topic here but I think sometimes God allows us to go through the financial woes or physical dilemmas. You remember the verse in James (don't have my bible at the moment) but the verse states something to the effect that tribulation works endurance, endurance works patience etc. Don't know if they were the right words but the point is that without the tribulation we can not understand what another is dealing with unless we have had our own pain it is difficult to be compassionate and more empathetic toward others. Otherwise we would tend to get hard not understanding how they could let certain things in their lives happen. I guess the older I get the more I experience I find myself becoming less critical of others and my experiences have helped me realize why others may do what they do. Am I making sense?

you're too kind.

I john 3:1, Just like in the way there are good and not so good people in the way. During my divorce WC of CFF had called to talk to my ex. I know the ex called him with regard to the divorce and WC took sides. He was very cold to me, I tried to be friendly and converse with the man, but he treated me like I had the plague. But Jon N. was then and when in the Way one of the nicest people you could meet. As for Sara and Kevin, I think they were the same as Jon N. They always were there for me. They were my parents leaders but when I was going through persecution my interim year (after POP was read to us in residence) mom suggested I talk to Kevin and Sara. I did and she helped me through a relatively rough time. I talked to them after leaving the Way when they were in CFF just to shoot the breeze and again they were kind. Maybe they deserved that distinction.

thanks CW. It's just the life we are dealt and we just have to do the best we can right?

Hey thanks. I wanted to add that in the defense of the ex. He has become a better father in the last year and has started to support the kids. It took about 3 years to get there but he has gotten better.

It wasyears January 6th. Four years since my divorce. The marriage wasn't always bad. I do remember some fun times. Did I love him? I can't answer that one in the affirmative, but love takes on many forms. Did I feel loved. No!!!! for a good ten years of our twelve and a half years or marriage I was sick and through those ten years I got progressively worse. I saw many doctors but finally the man that was supposed to love me refused to allow me to get well. Told me that I wasting our money and that there was nothing wrong with me. "You just need to drink more water", he would often say. To which I would reply, "And you got your medical degree where?" Once he told me if I went to the doctor i would be "disobeying him." that made me feel loved and important -- Not! I eventually got out of the marriage almost thirteen years after I got into it. Not a day goes by that I don't see evidence of how I am still paying the price for the divorce. I got the kids the house all the debt and my sick body. He hopped on the first plane to Michigan and was gone for six months. With no Court Order for child support he was scott Free. I was desolate. The contract I was on at the time had completed and I had no work to go to. The market had gotten bad since the events of 9/11 (thank God the market has shown a recovery), in addition I was getting sicker and was not very motivated. When you sleep all night and wake up tired something is wrong. I had my gaul bladder removed in all this thinking it would help me get well, but no. So, now divorced, a free woman, I called Dr. Evans . I left a message on the answering machine stating that even though the bladder was removed I still had abdominal pains. Cindy, Dr. Evans' nurse scheduled me for an abdominal ct scan. As I arrived they prepared me with nasty tasting fluids and laid me on the table. The procedure began. These large circular objects began to encircle my abdominal area. The technician would utter instructions and I would follow. Unexpectedly she stopped the scan and came into the room. "I want to inject you with this substance so I can get a better look, she said. She injected the substance continued the scan only this time the disks found their way further up my body. The next day I received a call from Doctor Evans. The technician found something he said. I knew something was causing that pain. Was it a gaul stone, an ulcer what? Dr. Evans stated, "The tech noticed a mass located in the right ventrical of your heart." I don't think the reality of that statement really hit home. no way I thought. They will do further studies and they will find that not to be true. But then what about the fluttering I felt in my heart, and what about the times when it felt like a backup and sudden surge of blood was passing through my heart. It wasn't constant but it was enough to alarm me and I had talked with my doctors about it many times in the past. they would listen to my heart and proclaim that they didn't hear it. For the next year Dr. Weyrens, my cardiologist, would take my xrays and display them to other cardiologists. Many of the top clinics in the country wanted the privilege of operating on me. I had a rare condition. Only 2 other people were know to have had this condition and their tumor was on the left side. Dr. Weyrens sent me to Dr. Tutuska, who charged me 300 dollars to tell me that he wouldn't perform the surgery because he wasn't confident enough. He stated that I was either going to need a heart transplant and/or ventricular support or I would die. I didn't like that prognosis. I will just live my life out and die when I die I didn't need the surgery to shorten what already seemed like a life cut short. Dr. Weyrens wanted to perform and MRA. After the MRA he felt that the mass was merely scar tissue and that my chances would be better than expected. But,,,, after he showed my xrays to other doctors he felt he also needed an angiogram. An out patient procedure that caused a perforated femural artery and a 4 day stay in the hospital (which is when medicaid and SRS stepped in and made sure I had insurance and cash assistance while I struggled with this life threatening experience.) While I was in the hospital recovering from the loss of 4 pints of blood, Dr, Weyrens in his kind and gentle way informed me that the mass was not scar tissue. He held my hand while I cried. I couldn't move as they had blocks attached to my abdomin to stop the internal bleeding, but I could cry. Things weren't looking good. I was finding myself in and out of the hospital, and no one was willing to operate on me without my having to leave Topeka for a period of time. finally Dr. Weyrens found Dr. Daon. Dr. Daon performs heart surgery at the St. Lukes Medical center in kansas City an hour from my house. He told me he would open me up cut the right atrium and reach down into the ventrical and pull the mass out and figure out what it was from there. I felt at ease with him and agreed to allow him to do the surgery. I was scheduled for December 17th 2003. The week before christmas. If I died what a christmas present that would have been for the kids. But I felt peaceful. Nonetheless I wrote each child a letter telling them how much I loved them and how wonderful they each were and all the while crying buckets of tears. Dr. Daon put me out, performed the operation in 30 minutes, my mother tells me. I don't know because I was incoherent in ICU for 2 days. I spent 5 days in the hospital after the surgery and went home in time for the holiday. Pauline Central elementary teachers had adopted my children for Christmas and they gave them a Christmas they otherwise wouldn't have had. A woman whose child I tutored, brought us dinner. My mom was there from the time the mass was discovered to the time it was removed (not constantly but she would go home and care for the kids and come back when I needed her). A year ago April Dr. Weyrens did another MRA to see how my heart was faring. He said it looked like a normal heart. No damage existed, not even from the surgery. The tumor was non-malignant, thank God, and I am alive to be here for my children. To watch them grow to full maturity. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face I am thankful. Thankful to God for his hand in the situation from the divorce on, Thankful to Dr. Kennedy who while he was alive helped me keep my sanity through the divorce and the surgery and my disparity, I miss him sooooo much. I am thankful to Dr. Weyrens, without whom I would not have had the right surgeon. I am thankful to Dr. Daon for his confidence, competence and professionalism (he even fixed the hole in my heart that I had from birth). Thankful to my mom who never left my side. Thankful to the staff at Pauline Central for all their support during this time and not only at christmas. Thankful to Alicia for grabbing my kids before they went to temporary foster care, since their dad wasn't answering his phone, and thankful to Marilee for the wonderful holiday feast. I am also thankful to my other friends and family that were there for me. Since then I have lost my home and have reached the bottom of disparity. But as hard as times have been for me, I have my life. If I ever think of ending it I would have to think about the efforts these men and women had taken to keep me alive. December 17th was a day to rejoice. A friend of mine when told this story wished me a happy birthday. In a way that is what that day is. It is the day in which I was given a new lease on life. There is nothing like staring death in the face to bring a person around to making drastic changes in their lives. But that's a story for another time.......

It was an enjoyable display. Thanks for sharing.

I haven't read all the posts here it would take me too long to catch up on that but my opinion is that you have to do what you feel is best. I was involved in CFF briefly. They are good people. Jon N. was wonderful, and during a pretty rough time in my life he checked on me pretty regularly even though I wasn't attending their meetings at the time. But for me it was too much like the Way. It might have been a psychological thing but I couldn't handle that. It gave me bad vibes, but I believe it was because of the Way. But then again your looking at a girl who can't find a church she likes either. It's a good thing God looks at the heart and not our attendance in a building. Try it out see if it is something you can handle and if not walk away and don't look back.

I have a couple of friends who claim to be Vegan and they aren't radical or weird. Aside from the food choices you wouldn't know they were different. Well ok they are different but not because of being Vegan, only because they are into geeky stuff like me. we are all techno geeks. That aside, they are wonderful people who look at their choice as a healthy choice. They DO disagree with animal cruelty but aren't out picketing and enjoy the skin care products I sell (and they are men) because there are no animal bi-products in them. So there are standards that these guys adhere to. My one friend once told me it was a religious experience for him. I knew him before his vegan conversion and he was a very sick man. Always tired and a little overweight and I would often worry about him and check on him to see if he was doing ok. Now he is trim says he's never felt better and is happy with his life style. But it's HIS lifestyle and he doesn't try to push it on anyone else.

I hope the weather follows his sense. It's freezing here in KS and I want to thaw out.

Now in residence that was my least favorite class. Only I had Wally manatee getting in my face because I didn't keep it in the first person present tense. I would dread those times and you had to be "honest" about the story you chose to tell. There were some pretty personal stuff being displayed in that room.

You definitely raised your kids to be honest. Shows a lot that they can tell you know without the fear or reproof.

Well I had at least some type of church growing up and it kept me from a lot of the bad in life. My daughter doesn't have that because we can't find a church we all like. I teach them the word but they don't know the joy of fellowshipping with other christians. I don't see me as hypocritical because I don't think of it as a waste of time. I just don't think these organizations have anything to offer adults but the kids programs are usually pretty extensive and fun. And it gets them keeping the Word in their minds more often. Now thy only hear it at times when they have questions or they do something against the scriptures and need to be corrected. My oldest is a good kid and thus far has made sound choices in her life but this is such a tough time in the maturation process. I believe having the Way during that time in my life helped me to avoid many of the pitfalls of this time. But for my oldest, being in the way has hardened her heart to the teaching of the Word by any organization.

We don't go to church now. It's just not worth it to go through hell to get all prettied up to go to a church that teaches against our beliefs. However, I do want my kids to have a hunger to know God like I did at her age. I was a Way Brat in a sense and I loved the word. As an adult I found it hard to fit into a Way mold and was relieved to finally be gone. I dont want church for me but for my kids to keep God in their focus especially my teen with all she has to deal with in the world of high school. And I want them to have the benefit of being raised with God at the center of their lives as I was. But it is met with resistance by the oldest, and no I don't push it on her I want her to desire it. I just hope that the verse that tells us if we train up a child in the way they should go they may not depart from it holds true for her.

I took that last class but that's the one the decided we weren't good enough to finish and we were told we could no longer have AC privileges and were M&A for 6 months which ended up being 8 months.

I don't usually venture into this category but had a question or should I say observation that I wanted to present to the group. I have 3 children all born in the Way. When we left my oldest was 10 the other two were 3 and 5. the two youngest barely remember the Way but my oldest remembers it and not fondly I might add. At times I have found myself arguing the existance of God with her, and whenever I take her to church she fights the idea. She's a good kid. she's 14 years old now, but she has had bad experiences in the Way and remembers them. She has shown me at times that she really does believe in God. For instance one day I was crying because of all I have to handle, physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally and she reminded me that God has gotten us through so much and he will continue to do so. But when I try to go to a new church you can almost see the wall go up and being in that environment is always presented later as a negative experience. Some of her most unholy friends are not getting into church and she is still completely uninterested in any type of organized religion. My other two having very little recollection of their time in twi, love to go to church. I will admit it's hard for me too because of certain doctrines and attitudes that are prevalent in the religious settings. Maybe she is sensing that from me. Has anyone else experienced this in their children and if so how did you handle the situation.