HAPe4me

Well said George, and very appropriate. dang it, I wish things were different for you. I mean it. In spite of you having said, somewhere, you have no talent and are a curmudgeon, I think you are very talented, with a great appreciation for the Japanese, and curmudgeons are not nearly as sensitive to others as you regularly demonstrate. ~HAP

gawd, now I AM horny LOL

This feels like it will be a long post, but I hope it helps someone to face today and tomorrow. I have been married for 30 years to my wife. We met as WOW's 31 years ago, which seems like eons. We have been through a cult, business failures, business successes, changing goals, raising children, EMPTY NESTERS, menopause, deaths of loved ones, car wrecks, car purchases, houses, investments, schools, pets.... all those things that create places where some people jump ship. We still love each other, care for each other, dream together, plan together, sleep together.........all those things which we saw ahead for us together on our wedding day. We have hope.....(I like using that word in other than a Return of Christ meaning). It is good. Some might say I/we are the lucky ones. To some degree that may be true, but far and away, I see it more as one of our more profitable investments of time, money, energy and emotions. I truly feel for those of you who have not found the sort of happiness and comfort level my wife and I have shared for all these years. I cannot imagine what hurt I would have if things were different for me than they are in my marriage. I wish I had answers for those of you who have not had a reality that is so well. About all I can say is I hope you keep a glimmer of hope. It could still be there for you. I want to give mention more to the issue of empty nesters. So much of our first 27 years was invested in raising children together. There were schools, PTA, kid sports, vacations to show the kids something outside of Colorado......It seems that doing things with/for the kids occupied most of our waking hours. It was good. I supposed that facing being empty nesters might be the biggest obstacle to our future life together. While we had kids, some leadership told us "you need to make time for yourselves"- we ignored them. "Date nights" were popular for married couples when we were in TWI- we never did them. We CHOSE always to go to dinner with the boys, we CHOSE always to stay at home with them. We CHOSE always to take them to movies or to sport events. We CHOSE always to vacation with them. Our children were the focus of everything that was our lives, but we CHOSE IT TOGETHER, and it was good. Off to college the boys went. For a fleeting moment we wondered what was ahead for us in a life that heretofore had been so prevailed upon by raising kids. We needn't have worried. We had chosen that life together, and we would face the future the same way... together. My mother told us that now we would need to "kinda-sorta fall in love again" (those were her exact words.) You have to find new direction, new goals, new bliss. My wife has a paying job now, which we were able to avoid while the kids were home. We experiment more with different things to do. Cultural events, dining places, friends, decorating, antiquing.....the list is endless. But we will do it together, just as we have for 30 years. It is different now, but it is the same. You need to fall in love all over again, never kinda-sorta having fallen out of love. You invest in it, you nourish it, water it, spread some sunshine on it. It is good.... just like we have done for 31 years (counting the WOW year), the same, only different. I am really, ~HAPe4me

My wife's vows never included the words "I will give him sex", did yours? If a wife chronically refuses sex, there might be a failure by the man to do anything which might inspire her to consider it something meaningful. It might also mean she has a physical reason, or quite often, a concern about an unwanted pregnancy and her husband refuses to take reasonable precautions against it, or to discuss some alternatives, such as vasectomy. Why is it that in our culture so often responsibility for such things is shoved onto the wife to take drugs for thirty years to prevent pregnancy? you will probably now say something about rhythm. HAH! Some men (and women too) also often do not realize that some women are not as regular as clockword in theri ovulation. This is especially true as we advance in years. This can cause deep concerns about unwanted prenancies, which then cause deep concerns as to what to do about them afterward. In short, things are not as simple as bible thumping tyrants might make them sound. Johniam, you seem to think that having sex is an obligation to be provided on demand by the wife. I think it should be more a reaction by both husband and wife to romance, communication, love, friendship, attachment, comfort and joy, all wrapped up in an emotional package. It is revolting, IMHO, to think of sex as nothing more than jacking off in a woman's body. What a bore that would be. ~HAP

yeah, this thread started out about Live chat, but is now about Flashchat (the other button at the top of the page) Pretty much all of us are using Flashchat, for better or for worse. ~HAP

what, sushi, did you knock her up? Musta been that shower after the chat room last night. Congrats- ~HAPe4me and u2

Well, it seems that those "Quality settings" help a little, but only a little, and only for awhile. If you stay in the room long enough, with a 56k modem connection, the best solution seems to be to log out of Flash, and then come back. I am not that fast a typist, but I can easily overrun the lines at times, and have to wait for them to appear so I can see if what I typed is what I intended. Quality seems to primarily change the quality of the displayed animation of the avatars. This seems to hold off the typing lag for awhile, but once there are 4 or more pages of public log, 56k modems just don't do the job. Maybe I have found a reason to go to some form of highspeed connection. I never had a need for it before. It is rare that I download files of any large size, and at my age, I am just not in that much of a hurry to see a webpage, 10 seconds is good enough. But for my chat addiction I may just have to do it, either that or just take more pee breaks and excuse myself from the room for a moment to reload the room. ~HAP

That would depend on what the coating on the roof is. If it has a baked enamel finish, it should last 30 years. Around here, that is the norm, even in our highly intense UV sun. Never have had to paint one, nor known one to be painted, of that type. I guess that doesn't help much, but painting a roof should not be that serious an event. Once you paint something, you likely have to redo it every 3-5 years to keep it well covered. I would avoid doing so until it ws truly necessary. Just an opinion from someone familiar with building materials. ~HAP

Radar, I tried to send you a private message but it says you are not a member. That name can be found on Infobel.com as being in TN. ~HAP

GreasyTech- Several have expressed concern (oh allright, they complained) about a lag or delay when typing into the input box. Also a delay or freeze. I sometimes get a popup that says something about "This Flash 8 movie is using a script that may make your computer fail to respond" It gives me an option to continue using this script or not. After choosing either one, the room generally freezes for me and I have to close out and return. I see that if you right click on the "welcome (name) bar" at the top, there is an option called Quality, and choices there of low, medium, high. Does anyone know what those settings accomplish? The default setting is High quality, and changing this setting is not retained by the flashcookies when I come back to the room the next time. I am experimenting with changing mine to medium. so far it seems to add speed, and I have not found any features not available yet while using that setting. I also did not get that popup so far. I will let you know if that is still the case when there are lots of users in the room. ~HAP

Back to the top with this. We are enjoying this Paw, more more! ~HAP

I have only 2 acres, but it is at 9000 ft elevation, so we could look down on everyone that doesn't dive into Dove. There is a clear view all the way to Ohio also, so if you spit real hard the wind will carry our message there, where it can be transcribed onto SNS tapes. Perhaps we could build cabins on Digi's place and do our Advances from there. Of course, upon your death, the cabin you paid for will become souly (<---) owned by the BOT. Digi's place would be closer for opening our European outreach program, and I hope to be able to start that next fall with a trip to Germany and Italy. Please begin planning NOW to schedule my teaching in your Olive Branches. Dove carries those branches everywhere he goes. Of course, I will accept your freewill offerings to teach you the WordofDove. Alternatively, you may offset this offering with an ample supply of Dove bars, (original dark chocolate flavor only, please) hmm, speaking of bars, has anyone checked into the legality of this program under the new NSA/Homeland security rules? I am terrified of terrorist plots. Maybe they will give us the bird. Now I bettter fly on the wings of a dove, ducking from eagles mounting on THEIR wings, spreading peace. ~HAP

oh, I thought maybe someone had made a tape on how to use the chat room. ...............Never mind! (now back to your regularly scheduled show in progress.) ~HAP

Of course, closing the mine until its conditions improved would have meant unemployed miners. tough call. Have they determined the cause of the accident? Have they determined whether any of the deficiencies on the safety inspection reports would have prevented the accident or the deaths? ~HAP

I think HAPpydove works, have you ever seen a ticked off one? by the by, HAP are my initials the rest just followed, but I guess I could be HAP-e-4U. When I first got online in the 80s, the ISP wouldn't allow names over 7 letters, so HAPpy4me wouldn't work. This has been me ever since. ~HAPe4me

Good question Dove, it disappeared. Greasetech said there was a security update last night, maybe it got lost in that? ~HAP

I haven't figured a faster load on livechat either, I did update my Java, but that had o benefit, or perhaps even made it slower. To be fair, this old computer is at the slow end of most minimum requirements, so that may be it. WARNING- I have NO idea what I am doing on my OWN computer, so if you don't want to risk doing the following idea, don't do it! I am responsible for my own muckups, but will NOT be held responsible for YOURS! LOL Flashchat- One thing that was frustrating me and others was the slow rate at which our typing would appear on the screen. I found the control panel for Flash, finally, and I cleared all Flash site cookies, even GS's. This threw away all my flashchat settings, but it DRAMATICALLY increased the speed my typing is reproduced on the screen. I am afraid to try and walk others through it, but if you want to play with doing this, do a Google search using the words - slow typing flashchat - found info on where that control panel is. I think this link should do it also: http://www.macromedia.com/support/document...r07.html#117717 One other chatter tried it last night, and was able to get back just fine, but it did not help their speed they said. After deleting the stored visited Flash websites, I came to GS's Flashchat then logged out and went back to the control panel. I edited the new GS Flash site to allow more space for the cookies. I don't think that was necessary, but I did it anyway. Well, it works for the moment for me! that is all I know. ~HAP

When you enter the chatroom now, there is a message that says "Try the new "Boring Bland" theme if you're into colored chat text. If this is your first time here, you're already using it. :) the default screen is now white, with black text. If you enter for the first time, that is what you will get. If you have been there before, you need to select that theme. It is the first one in the list that comes up when you click the arrows to the right of the top button on the first Options screen. Originally the button said "Macintosh" something. It may still say that on your screen, or it may say "Windows" I know some don't like to read rules and help notes, but GreaseyTech has fixed the color problem if people will just read the note at the top of the screen when they come in. For what it is worth (which isn't much), I hate the livechat room, it takes a full 5 minutes to load on my dialup connection, and I have little plans to use it. ~HAP

Which country? ~HAP

What a compounded tragedy! My sincere apologies for spreading the false report. As of this morning, one is still alive, and his family still has hope. When I posted this thread the families were jubilant at the announcement of 12 alive. Even my morning paper headline is 12 alive. (the tragic victim of the 'putting it to bed' time deadlines of newsprint) I am saddened by the rollercoaster those families must have ridden. They were so happy last night, having faced a day of dwindling hopes, with their heads high and faith strong. I pray that God can give them solace in something, they deserve it. ~HAP edited to add: It appears that the wrong information concerning survivors persisted for 3 hours! That is three hours that those folks experienced a false joy and celebration of relief. SOMEONE should have told them "Hold everything, where are you families hearing your news? That is NOT the official information coming from command central. We will keep you posted as soon as we verify the outcome, please hope and pray with us"

12 of the 13 miners trapped have been found alive. it is a wonderful turn in what had become a doubtful outcome. ~HAP

hmmm, no wonder the KC Chiefs aren't in the playoffs, it was illegal to throw footballs in their stadium. ~HAP

Keys to handling Stress Management Which are your favorites? Which have you done? When you can't stand any more stress: go to the coin laundry and throw in the towel. Play "Go Fish" with a three year old. - Win Replace you "in-box" with a garbage can. When stress takes its toll, ask for a receipt Need to escape the grind? Have an out-of-body experience. Answer a highly technical question in your best donald Duck voice. For comic relief from stree, laugh at inappropriate times. Avoid rush hour stress. Drive slowly, honk and wave at pedestrians Place a mark on your body to show where you've had it up to. For a quiet evening, play a blank cassette at full volume. Wrap yourself in bubble wrap.- roll on the floor. Gazing at water is soothing. Fill the sink and pull up a chair. Glue your old shoes to the ceiling. Pretend that you are someone else. Organize a hum-a-long. It's hard to feel stressed when you are humming. Shake hands enthusiastically with yourself. Urge those who are annoying youto go sit on a rutabaga. Too much to do? Complain loudly and incessantly. You'll get further behind but will feel better. Write a memo congratulating yourself for being so wonderful. Take an eight-hour lunchbreak. Pretend that you're still in control. Fill your hottub with chicken soup. Eat gelatin with chopsticks. Ring somebody's doorbell and run away. LAUGHTER MATTERS (credit Donna Strickland, M.S., R.N., C.S., Denver, CO) Be at peace for the year ahead, ~HAPe4me

Quote- "Our troop will also start making all our own rope and other needs." I hope you won't use the rope to hang those "sissy and lady-like" hatchet throwers. ~HAP

WateredGarden- to answer your question, OF COURSE THEY ARE TREASURE. Your mom spent hours enjoying the hobby and that alone makes them so! Scott's, Lynn's, and Harris are the three most highly thought of Stamp catalogues as I remember. My father and his father before him were very enthusiastic philatelists, spending hours each day on their hobby. Unfortunately, the interest in stamp collecting, (and therefore their monetary value) has diminished in recent decades. What we once had insured for over 150K ended up with a market value of around 20K when my father passed away. Dad had left the name and phone number of one of Harris's primary appraisers, with whom he had traded stamps before, and trusted implicitly for us to contact upon his death. He had a virtually complete prewar German collection, diligently collected for over 70 years. His other specialty areas were Canada, Japan and Papua New Guinea (because it was a fun name to say) There were others also, literally a floor to ceiling bookcase. all diligently mounted and labeled. We ended up keeping much of the collection because it had more sentimental value than monetary to us, although we did sell some of the more valuable ones, since they would mean more to a collector than they did to us. It is certainly true that there are rare and highly collectible and valued stamps, often the print error ones as was mentioned. Some other variations are also of good to extreme value. There are many difficulties in determining whether a particular stamp is one of those exceptions or not. Some can only be determined under blacklight, some by other methods too numerous to mention. As with any collectibles, CONDITION is of prime importance. I would suggest you find a reputable appraiser if you have reason to believe there may be some of major importance, and wish to sell them. Otherwise I would keep them as a remembrance of something your mother had great joy and comfort in collecting. The collection is an heirloom, even if it has no monetary value. ~HAP