Abigail

Gee Steve, is it not possible we all simply find different things funny? Must it be a psychological issue? You can please some of the people some of the time. You can rarely, if ever, please all of the people even some of the time. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Ever laugh at Eddie Murphy? George Carlin? and lord only knows how many other comedians? Stereotyping people in a serious way, putting them in a box, is wrong. Most people who know me, know I think this. However, poking fun at the ridiculousness of stereotypes points out how ridiculous they are. I have battled my weight since I was a little girl. I have been on the receiving end of cruelty and fat jokes. There was also a time when I was a size 5. Even then, I was not entirely comfortable wearing a swim suit in public. I think the idea for this beach is wonderful. However, I found the article about this resort funny. I found the writers style, funny. wording like "slanted toward the slender" and "daunting for the double-chinned". I also love the motto, "live large, live free". I've said it before and I'll say it again. Our bodies are not the sum and substance of who we are. As a society, we often take our physical appearance FAR too seriously. Those who feel they are unattractive, often have serious self-esteem problems. This is because as an individual and as a society, we base too much of our self-esteem on appearance, instead of who we are. Attractive people can also run into self-esteem problems. They often feel their worth is only in how good they look. If they have a bad hair day, their day is in shambles. They are often unsure if the men/women (though most often this is a female problem) are with them because they look good on the other's arm, or because they value them as a person. The entire concept, the stereotype, of one's value being wrapped up in one's appearance is ridiculous and sad. Humor can be a way to expose this foolishness. However, as I have said before, I knew there would be people who would not find it funny, who would be offended, and thus the thread title. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

1. I titled the thread as I did, because I knew some were likely to find it offensive. 2. From a business stand point, I think the concept is brilliant and much needed. 3. You have no idea if I have a weight problem or not. 4. As someone who is Russian, Polish, and Jewish, I find humor in jokes which poke fun at the stereotypes in these categories funny as well. 5. I found the author's choice of words in writing this article to be excellent. She wrote a serious article but inserted some tongue in cheek humor. 6. When one can honestly laugh at themselves, one truly has found a sense of inner peace. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

I can see great validity to this new business, but I can also see great humor From AOL news Mexican REsort Caters to Big By Mark Stevenson Excerpts TANKAH, Mexico (June 7) - In a world enthralled by thin, perhaps no place is more slanted toward the slender or more daunting for the double-chinned than the beach. No more. The beach is being made safe for the amply built with the opening of what claims to be the world's first ``size-friendly, all inclusive beach resort.'' At the Freedom Paradise resort south of Cancun, the motto is: ``Live Large, Live Free!'' The resort, which formally opens June 15, targets people afraid to go out on the sand with a few extra pounds, or a few extra dozens of pounds. No more enduring cruel jokes on the beach, or wisecracks from the staff. The 112-room property has plenty of places to eat as part of its $150 per-night double-occupancy rate. The owners expanded from two restaurants to five, each with a different theme: international, Italian, Mexican, a steakhouse, a Hawaiian-style seafood room and a snack bar. (Ah yeah, I bet they can make a lot of money in the restraunts at this resort!!) Sabo said that Freedom Paradise ``is talking the talk'' of size-friendliness, but asked, ``Can they walk the walk?'' ``Speaking of walking, that's not as easy for some of us as it is for other people,'' she said. ``Is the place all spread out?'' Check, says Klink: The hotel's ``big'' rooms are on the ground floor, with ample walkways. Railings and access rails on pools and in showers? Check. Extra large, reinforced beds and doublewide doors? Check. Whatever the wrinkles [or rolls?] that remain to be worked out, there's no doubt it's a large step ahead for big people. (Pun intended????) To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Dot, I've never heard of giving a cat vaseline, nor have I tried it. Seems to me, something like that, which I don't think humans are supposed to eat, would not be particlarly good for a cat either. If she wants to go that route, I would suggest vegetable oil instead of vaseline. Wild cats eat grass, the grass makes them vomit but also gets the fur balls out. The ointment which can be purchased at pet supply stores makes it pass out the other end. I have no idea what is in it. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

The truth about cats and dogs............ :)--> Vickles, the cat thing I may be able to help you out a bit with. I've had cats most of my life, until we got the husky anyway. Are your cats long haired or short haired? Do they shed a lot? How old are they? Indoor only or indoor/outdoor? Cats who shed a lot, long or short haired, tend to get hair balls. This can be very very bad or it can be no big deal. They need to throw up to get the hair balls out. Most pet supply stores sell an "ointment" you can feed to them to help them pass the hair balls. If you prefer a more natural remedy you can purchase a little planter to grow grass in. They will eat the grass and throw up, but this gets the fur balls out. Additionally, some older cats have a difficult time chewing hard food. It is not absolutely necessary to leave food out for them all day long, they can learn to eat at certain times of day. However, the hard food is good for their teeth. So, if they are older cats, what you could do is feed them each about 1/2 a can of cat food twice a day or if they will eat it, mix some water with the hard food. Then leave the hard food out for them to munch on. This insures they are getting the food they need and still helps keep their teeth cleaned. I don't recommend mixing the wet and dry food because you will probably find yourself throwing away a lot of food this way. Also, make sure they don't have fleas. Cats tend to be more tolerant of fleas than dogs. Somehow fleas know this and will leave the dogs and go after the cats. Some cats can be very sensitive to fleas and lose hair. I had this happen to a cat. I had to bath her with special shampoo for several days to relieve her skin of the rash caused by the fleas. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Thank you everyone for your tips and suggestions. Here's where I'm at so far. I decided to try the vinegar and water mix again, with a higher content of vinegar, because it is the least expensive method. It seems to be working. The boys' bedroom was smelling so bad I could barely stand putting laundry away and felt horrible tucking them in to sleep there at night - though somehow they never complained. Anyway, I didn't smell anything bad in there at all tonight. I'm putting a gate up in front of the hallway to their room at night. I think this is when the problem is ocurring the most, as I have never actually caught him in the act. However, I do know it is him because since the weather turned nice, our husky/malamute/whatever she is, prefers to sleep outside. Scrappy is just getting too old to jump gates these days so I think this should keep him out of there. I'm not convinced the problem is senility. My understanding is, if it were senility, he would probably be peeing all over the house instead of in just one area. It is possible he just cannot hold his bladder all night anymore, but he no longer barks at me during the day when he needs to go out, either. So I'm leaning towards one of two things. a) he is jealous/mad about Nicky coming into our home and this is his way of saying so or b) she peed there first while we were getting to know her and learn her signals. Then Scrappy, being the male he is, had to cover her scent with his own and even though she is no longer peeing there, has gotten in the habit of doing it. Dot, I will look for the thread and check into the barf diet and holistic vet when I have a little more time. Thanks again, everyone. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Thanks, everybody, for the tips. I will look for the Nature's Miracle. As far as health goes, he's been to the vet and I'm told he's healthy, especially for his age. It was the vet who suggested he was perhaps going senile. As far as changes in the house, there have been quite a few. We inherited another dog, which seems to be the starting point for all this. With respect to the dogs using the boys' bedroom, they don't really hang out in there, so it's not really part of their 'den'. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

I have a wonderful dog who is about 11 years old, at least that is my best guestimate. We think he may be starting to show some signs of senility. After this past winter, which for Michigan was really a mild one, he no longer wants to go outside. I have literally had to drag him out by his collar. He is going to the bathroom in the house. Mostly in the kids bedroom, because the dogs don't generally hang out in there. I also have another dog who does likewise on occasion, if we miss her signals and don't let her out on time. 1. How can I get the smell out of the rug? 2. How can I discourage them from going to the bathroom in the house, especially in the kids room? I've tried the Resolve carpet cleaner and I heard somewhere vinegar and water can work, but so far I've not had success with either. It is possible my vinegar and water solution was not strong enough, I don't know what amounts of each to mix so I went sort of light on the vinegar. I had also heard feeding them in the area where they are going can help, but this is a little tricky because it is the kids bedroom and it would be my preference to NOT have the kids playing with the dog food. Plus, I have to really watch my husky around the little ones, they can get a little rough and she can be a little snapish about that. My older dog is as gentle as they come, the kids can climb all over him and when he's had enough he just shakes them off and moves somewhere else. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Support group, eh? Perhaps they sell special jock straps to support those large penises. Hey, these guys might even need custom made pants! Excath, you are tooo funny! The mind picture, dog tale, substitute one of the guys who goes to the support group! Oy!!! To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Shell, I didn't realize you were living in MY house! lol To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Garth, Barney!!!! ROFLMAO. There was a gal here who would not let her daughter watch Barney because someone in TWI told her he was born of the wrong seed or a homo or some such thing. I was reproved for allowing my kids to watch him/it. ROF. Who's afraid of the big Purple Dino. He taught them such terrible things, like the "Clean Up" and "I Love You" songs. Brushing their teeth and *gasp* playing nice. That nasty old dinasour! To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Hills, Are you ok? I'm worried about you? You have not made a single reference to naked women or beer on this thread! But then again, perhaps I am mistaken. We are talking about cats afterall. And we all know.............. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

What I could never figure out was, why was it ok to be 'unequally yoked' in some instances and not others. My ex had friends who were ex-twi and it was and still is perfectly ok for him to spend time with them. Yet it was totally unacceptable for me to. The only answer I could come up with was his friends had been out for so long, none of the leadership even knew who they were, though they did know they were ex-twi. My friends, leadership knew. Gee, this wouldn't have had anything to do with emotions, would it? Perhaps even hard feelings, anger, or even fear that the people I knew might say something negative, yet truthful, about the leadership? Naw, that's just evil thinking. I better go renew my mind. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

I worked these verses the summer before leaving TWI. They have nothing to do with not having contact with or friendships with "unbelievers". It was simply in reference to your thoughts. Do not tie your thoughts to theirs, do not become an "unbeliever" simply because they are, etc. LCM's teaching on it was wrong. As always, he took it to an extreme, and yes, it was to further isolate us. BTW, who decides who is and who is not an unbeliever? I would guess, even from a biblical perspective, most people are both. Most people have things they believe which are correct/truth and those which are not. To every man his own truth and his own God within. [This message was edited by Abigail on February 13, 2003 at 5:27.] [This message was edited by Abigail on February 13, 2003 at 5:30.]

Dot, It may not have been legally rape, but to the girls who endured it, it was emotionally rape. Not to totally derail, but reading your stories lead me to another thought. When LCM's daughter went off to college, he started teaching parents they had to keep tabs on their kids at school. Phone calls, faxed schedules, faxed budgets, had to know what their kid was doing almost every minute of the day. At the time, I thought he was just a control freak, which he was. Now I'm wondering if he wasn't petrified some man might come along and do such things to his daughter. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

You are correct Excathedra. Legal terms notwithstanding, aggravated or sexual assault in the 4th degree, with respect to the mental and emotional outcome for the woman, is still rape. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

LongGone, They have done a similar thing with the laws here in Michigan as well. In Michigan, even if the woman does not resist, if she simply says no one time and then goes along, for whatever reason, the man can be charged with Sexual Assault in the 4th degree. Applying pressure, emotionally, psychologically, to a woman in order to gain sexual favors is a crime in Michigan. However, in VPW's day there were no such laws to prosecute him under. Even now, with these laws in place, prosecution can be difficult. Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt what occurred between two people is very very tough. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

We have a lot of new posters here these days. I have been thinking about the wealth of information which has been posted here over the years, but is now gone from the forums. So I thought over the next few days, I would see if I could dig up some of it for those who have never had opportunity to see it. The following is a list of some of the common struggles people face, when leaving an abusive religious organization. 1. You develop a distorted image of God. A God who is never satisfied who keeps setting higher and higher goals and is eager to let you find out how much you?ve missed the mark.. A God who is waiting for us to make a mistake?then point out all our failures, or to punish or humiliate. An apathetic God who watches when people are hurt and abused, but does nothing to help? And there is more ??. 2. You may be preoccupied with spiritual performance. Preoccupation with spiritual performance often results in a tendency towards extremes of self-righteousness or shame. Self Righteousness (a sense of spiritual superiority based on your own behavior) and judgmentalism (a sense of spiritual superiority based on someone else?s behavior) indicate a performance based life-style. 3. You have a distorted self-identity of yourself as a Christian. Confusion between guilt and shame. Guilt is a valuable signal indicating a wrong or bad behavior. Shame is an indictment on you as a person. You experience guilt when you do a wrong behavior; guilt is a good spiritual nerve ending causing you to right wrong behavior. You feel shame even when you?ve done nothing wrong; 4. You may have a problem relating to spiritual authority. They tend to the extremes of compliance or defiance when faced with someone else having authority. 5. You may have a hard time with grace. You find ways to push away the grace extended by God and the gifts from the other people, so that you end up going with out. Or you accept them with such overwhelming sense of owing that you find ways to "pay back" God and others for what they?ve done. 6. You may have a problem in the area of personal boundaries, an unclear understanding about "death to self" teachings and "rights". People who have misused their spiritual power have disrespected or beaten down your boundaries. They have shamed you out of your "no", clouded your will and intruded into your life with religious agendas. They have violated your spirituality by playing "Holy Spirit." Having an opinion has come to equal lack of submissiveness. Having a right to not be abused is selfish 7. You may have difficulty with personal responsibility. You may have learned to be under-responsible?..or learned to be over-responsible. You have a greater sense of God needing you than you needing God. The most extreme form of over-responsibility happens when you martyr yourself. Being affected by insults and thoughtless actions is immature, and having feelings is being oversensitive. Going without is a prime virtue. Feeling numb to life is the end result. 8. You may suffer from a lack of living skills. Abusive systems develop a "bunker mentality". This is characterized by being closed and paranoid toward the outside, and secretive about what goes on inside. The mentality is not only separatist, but highly judgmental. 9. You may have a hard time admitting the abuse. a) You are told that you are "the problem" for noticing there is a problem. That makes it hard to expose the abuse, even after you?ve left the system. b) Admitting the abuse out loud-or even thinking that what you experienced was abuse-often feels like you?re being disloyal to family, to church, even to God. Those who have experienced spiritual abuse as "normal" have lost track of what normal really is. c) It is so inconsistent with everything that is supposed to be happening in families and churches that the excruciating pain of it is short-circuited. 10. You may have a hard time with trust. Mark Twain once mused, "A cat that sits on a hot stove lid wont sit on a hot stove lid again. But it probably won?t sit on a cold stove lid either." Those who have been spiritually abused will have a hard time trusting a spiritual system again. This is extremely significant, because the essence of living as a Christian is a trust relationship with God, within God?s family. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

7390, I wasn't offended or worred about people skipping over my posts, that was another poster, who I suspect, spoke out of a heart of hurt and loneliness. I think for the most part, people read the posts that interest them or the ones by the people they like. Additionally, sometimes we skip topics which we are not emotionally ready to handle. It is not necessary for everyone to find my topics interesting or for everyone to like me. You are correct, trusting people can be difficult. Though my issues aren't entirely trust related. I don't worry too much about that stuff because I expect people to be human and imperfect. I try to look beyond the actions and see the heart. I think MOST people have pretty good intentions and motives, even when the results do not show it. For me the issue is more with respect to maintaining boundaries. I find it difficult to deal with aggressive people, even when those people mean well. Also, there is the need to be accepted and the desire to take care of the hearts of others. These things combined can make dealing with people face to face and maitaining my own boundaries difficult. I had boundary issues before TWI, those were multiplied greatly in TWI. Another thing. When I got involved with TWI, I was in my very early 20's. I was still in the process of figuring out who I was. TWI stunted that process, so now I have to complete that process. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Shell, I know what you mean also. I have had some wonderful female friends, but in general I have found a lot of women to be "catty". At least if a guy is a jerk, he usually doesn't try to hide it. Either that or men just aren't as good at hiding it as women are - lol. Women will pretend to be nice and then stab you in the back. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

Laleo, I can only speak from my own perspective and experience and not for others. For me, calling it rape validated my feelings of shame, powerlessness, objectification, etc. This in turn allowed me to deal with those emotions and then overcome them. It did not reinforce the sense of powerlessness, it helped me overcome it. Once the sense of powerlessness was validated, I was able to figure out why I felt powerless and find ways to take back the power I had lost. In other words, it helped me think through the events of my life, the role I played in those events, and how to take steps to prevent falling into that role again. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

MJ, yes, TWI did destroy our ability to trust ourselves. I do not skip over your posts either. In fact, I often think I can feel the emotion and heart you pour into them, pouring back out to me. You have a very powerful voice MJ, perhaps some are not ready to handle that much power coming from another human being and that is why the "skip over" your posts. Excathedra, I too used to say I found my voice here at Greasespot. Perhaps I coined the phrase from Satori without being aware of it. Lately, I have been looking within myself to better understand what that statement means and how I am accomplishing it, so I can take that knowledge out into the real world. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

How did they know it was rape? It is my opinion that most men can sense hesitation or fear in a woman and the gentleman will stop. However, it is within the realm of possibility they did not sense anything or know the woman was not a particularly willing participant. Even in a more forceful and coersive situation the "rapist" may not view their actions as rape. But, (here ya go QQ ) this does not make it FEEL any less like rape to the woman. So, when discussing the subject, perhaps we need to narrow our point of discussion or at least try to understand the point of view the speaker is coming from. Just some thoughts. To every man his own truth and his own God within.

I do know my own mind and I am not usually afraid to speak it out here on the internet, nor among those I am closest to. Now I just need to get to a place where in face to face situations, I can also speak out among those I am not closest to. To get to a point where I am less concerned about their acceptance or reaction. Perhaps you have a point there Lindy, about taking that first leap. Last semester I had to give a speech for my Legal Ethics class. I picked a subject and point of view which I thought may be a little unpopular and went with it. It was terrifying, but I did it. Turned out there were others in the class who held the same basic opinion. However, part of the problem may be inherent to being female also. We are/were taught by society to be quiet. I am finding, even in school, the teachers this semester seem to want to shut me up. I study hard and make sure I know the materials for class. When the teachers ask questions, I often know the answers. I will wait and let others answer but if no one speaks up, I will. This semester both of my teachers have told me they don't want me answering questions. I could understand this, if I was always answering them and never giving others an opportunity to speak, but this is not at all the case. The irony to this is both of my teachers are also female. I have never had a male teacher try to shut me up like this. Hey, Shell, here's one for your question regarding gender roles in schools. To every man his own truth and his own God within.