Dot Matrix

nevermind

One thing I have seen through the years is some people were perps because they were in the same mind bending cult we were in. Rev. Mirt for instance, sent out an apology via an off shoot -- asking for forgiveness. There are some who cling to the doctrines of devils and still push VPW's crap even though they have been every opportunity to let go of the "people hurting" doctrines of devils. I do not get them - nor their disease to cling to such pain inflicting propaganda -- but they will have to answer for it. In the bend perspective, of the minister we are discussing, -- I think he really believed he had the right bestowed upon him by God and was somehow helping me learn how to bless men of God... I also heard through the years, that VPW helped himself to that man's wife and this became a "lifestyle" to them as they tried to emulate the man of God (errrrr Satan). Hell, a large portion of early corps could be indited if we march forward -- but I fear many innocents would bear the punishment of their own confusion in trying to figure out the goodness of the "class" verses the badness of VPW The trying to please God by being obedient to a man who claimed he spoke for God... It is too convoluted... Too sad.... So many lives who were able to rebuild would be again ruined...

Thanks

No. But what you must understand is they already prepared for such events. They put out disinformation and have meetings where everyone HEARS you are a liar and deceiver. I am unwilling to travel the road. There is no benefit large enough to coax me down it. It is over. Thank you

I contacted a lawyer years ago and it was not possible to sue a dead man. To continue in that vein would be too much trouble. We have a hard enough time picking through all of it here among others who LIVED it. I cannot imagine having to explain all this to a jury. I mean, look how we are received by a certain two males who frequent the board.... Not worth it. Thanks for your love. The women I worry about are those he actually "got" whether by fear, "drinks" or mental intimidation. I know my "trust" issues were large and I got away. The trust issues they deal with must be far more crippling. For those of you who have not read it -- look at these two women -- the corps gal and the WOW. It tears me up. And there are gals here who are still in pain and unable to place their pain into sentences... And the few who have tried, were given the uncompassionate third degree by a particular VPW worshiping cement head here. http://www.empirenet.com/~messiah7/ltr_marsha.htm

Rascal I should probably put this in a PT but you were so public with your pain that I will be honest and public in my post to you... My dearest Rascal This is not the first time you have mentioned your torment. I recall at least one other time if not two. So, I am not going to try and alleviate your guilt as I do not know why you are really so personally tormented. I assume you ALWAYS witnessed because of your love for God. But perhaps there is a person or two you did get involved because LEADERSHIP pushed you to “get a class together” or something. So, all I can say is if on a couple of occasions you KNEW it was a creepy ministry and you witnessed out of obedience and fear -- God still loves you. If your heart is so heavy over this that it appears you cannot breath without pain… Then apologize. Find those people and apologize. If you do not know where they are perhaps write it in “my story” so if they show up here they can read your apology. There was one person I KNOW I hurt in TWI. A man I witnessed to and later married. At the point I married him I knew TWI was a piece of crap. But I was still on the merry-go-around of confusion trying to separate the good from the bad but unable to get a handle on it because I did not know the class was “stolen” at the time. So, I let my circular thinking entrap him and me. I kept thinking how could a class that delivered me come from a man (VPW) who was in such bondage of “selfishness, narcissism and sexual perversion?" I mean, he is teaching the class – why didn’t he get delivered and I did? So, even though I found my own heart to be untrustworthy as I felt the evil around me the closer I got to VPW and those sold out to his “doctrines” (which were opposite of the things I was taught early on in TWI -- the real Leonard ministry) I kept trying to get things back to the way they were. I did not know at the time they were NEVER that way for VPW (as he was (IMO) a satanic, lying, using, pervert looking for power at the expense of others). So VPW would never be brought back to the way I first experienced them because he was NEVER part of Leonard’s ministry. He was a thief who came to steal, kill and destroy. But while in the center of confusion, knowing I was seeing evil, I married a really nice man I had gotten in the word. He became corps spouse, and then the wolves dissected him and ate his flesh to the bones. For that, I do feel I am responsible. We divorced about 17 years ago. I have written to him to apologize for not telling him what I did know and what I did see… I HAD only told him of the wonderful things I originally experienced and how wonderful God was. – The effects of what I now know to be “the Leonard” ministry. Before he became my husband and committed to "corps" spouse statis I had an obligation to tell him that VPW had hit on me, the cover-ups, the perversion in the leaders I had seen... But I did not... I was an azz myself, at that time with him, and it did and does eat at me... I have never had a reply. I still pray for him and I am tormented by allowing my cloud of confusion rest on his head without trying to explain it. But at the time I could not suffiecntly understand it myself. So, if you have a few tormented people who, as a result of your witnessing after you knew TWI was crazy – then follow your heart. Ask God to forgive you, he will. Then ask the person to forgive you. He may or may not but at least your apology is out there and your heart can move forward. As far as the original question it is on a long list of Why God why? Questions we all have. The woman whose son died and Elijah went to see. Why give me a son just to take him away? A man (my husband worked with) had to bury his 9-year-old son who dies from cancer --- Why? Why bring me this child to take him away? I was having car trouble and my father drove his car out to California to give me. WHAT A NICE GESTURE! Only, weeks later I was hit head on to have it totaled – why God why? Why when I sought you did it feel so good to be “found” then later to realize the “group” was a damaged soul-robbing group? Why God? Why? Why God would you invent the “world” knowing Lucifer is was going to steer life away into pain and injury? Why did you invent Lucufer? Why not just skip him? I do not know. We can all seek a truth in life. Maybe if my Dad did not bring out his car I would have died in the smaller sports car I was having trouble with…. Maybe…. Maybe…. As we find “our truth” some have concluded that life is capricious and there is no God. Others, feel all things are some how “a blessing in disguise.” Others have held onto TWI being through and thoroughly from God (TWI 1, 2 and 3) because they cannot handle the alternative Others still ponder in pain Some pick through it because they have to see the trick as they are terrified to be tricked again Others left and never look back – almost pretending it did not exist for them Those who enjoyed making others miserable have a whole other truth to find… why did they enjoy the EVIL ministry and try to destroy the “good” one? Perhaps we only see as through a glass darkly. I am one who has to pick at it until I figure out what makes sense to me. The only thing that seems reasonable to me is that we were in two ministries at one time. A good one and a bad. And that God does look at the heart and intent thereof. I hope you find away to let go of your pain... Apologizing maybe germane to that healing for you or for the person(s) you may have felt you hurt. Maybe the reason it stirs you, is not because you are guilty of anything, but someone out there needs to "hear" what happened. How it all turned out so badly.

Ala - it was the most delivering thing for me -- and it was realized when The Evan and others shared how the charaters "Maggie Muggins" and the others were actually FIRST names in Leonard's class! But VPW perverted the "believing = receiving" thing to make God a "formula" -- A vending machine God....

She doesn't sound innocent But did you sell something to someone YOU KNEW would hurt them? Or at the time did you think you were doing a loving thing? I think a lot of life is what motivates us. If you got a bunch of people in TWI after you knew it was going to hurt them, then find them and apologize. If you gave them "Christ" from a place of love and compassion then I think at that point - in that situation - you were working for God. But that is JMO.. If I sell acar that runs well and it breaks down a month later and I sold it "as is" I am not responsible. If I find out my car has serious problems and I hide those problems and deceitfully present the car as running well... and it breaks down a month later then I feel I am responsible. Just depends on how you sold the car.

Rascal you said Now I will try to type an answer as this is so difficult to express. I never was joyous to deceive people and I bet you werem't either. I was joyous because God loved me and I wanted others to know God loved them. That is why I say there were two ministries. While I was in that "sate" I was working for God offering people hope and I saw them get help. That was the fruits from Leonard's ministry (IMO) But when I stayed after seeing the insanity and invited people to twig knowing if they moved up the chain to meet the people at HQS. etc. Then I was in "TWI" confused but in effect working for Satan. I kept thinking I could help "fix" things and I KNEW in my heart (which I no longer trusted) things were beyond repair. Most people I witnessed to at that time I got them through the class then kinda backed off and let them go live their lives because I honestly did not want them to "sell out" and see the painful side. At that point had I pushed them to go "in the corps" with a fake smile then I feel I would have been a pimp for Satan. Because it would have been at that time I would have no longer been "in" Leonard's minstry but the evil VPW. For instance, in CA. there was a real azz. He thought people would be blessed to live in house and learn from him. He sold this idea to young believers who then made a year commitment to live with him in a WAY HOME. I met this guy on the beach who had a chance to get in on the ground floor of an incredible resturant ownership deal. The leader wanted him to decline the offer and move in with him. I KNEW that the leader just used people to PAY the bills and he and his family did not chip in for rent or basics. The guy I witnessed to came and asked "what to do?" I told him take the resturant deal, do NOT move in with the leader and be very careful. He listened and today is a part owner in a chain of resturants. If I told him to move in with the leader, then at that point, I would NOT have been honest, helpful or working for God. If I told him to move in with the leader that would have been typical "WAY" motives and lies and at that point I would have worked for Satan. When I saw and saw and saw again things were not going to be fixed -- I confronted VPW and wrote him a letter of confrontation -- then I left. It was not until I turned up here that I heard all about Leonard's class etc. Then, it all fit! We were in two different ministries. One of God and one wasn't. WE just did not know it -- but I thhink we always "felt" it. Ya know the constant trying to reconcile why "this" was so good and "that" wasn't. Why the closer one got to VP/LCM the worse and less loving things were... At least this is what my involvement was like. Does that make sense? And I do pray for those I got involved -- I pray they left when they knew it was time.

Ex "john, do you mean when the OT people attributed bad things to god, they really meant satan but they did not or could not SEE or say that ? i semi remember this teaching from the way can you or someone help me with this ? or help refiner " F. S. sat down with you and me and went over this. I also think that VP went over it in one of the classes. There was an OLD text that actually explained that the bad things were of the devil in the OT but through the coming years it became illegal for anyone to mention "the devil" like a communist era or something and the Bible was then redone having "the devil" removed from the text. It was still legal to talk and write about God so the writers went in and took the DEVIL out and rewrote things making the word "god" when it used to say the devil. So then you have god doing bad and God doing good.... Which then lead the whole thing into the toliet of confusion.

(((Imbus)))

(((Socks)))

I would like to clarify something and I do not know that typing words here will communicate what I am trying to say -- I do not BELIEVE that God was involved with, part of, watching over or happy with TWI. I do not believe it was a "polluted pool" as that somehow makes it sound like a mix of good and bad. I believe VPW started the ministry for his own gain NOT for God or to help people. I believe he was SUCH a failure at developing a church that he devised a plan after taking a class BG Leonard had cultivated. I believe we were not part of a group with good and bad properties. I believe we were a part of two completely different ministry but we did not know it. The appealing introduction and initial involvement was REALLY Leonard's class and hard work as a minister of God. Because the word of God is bigger than we are somehow we still benefited by its presentation to us --even though it was stolen by a jack azz. Makes me think of the movie where they showed the development of the Apple computer. The cute and easy icons were originally developed by a woman who then had her hard work stolen and marketed by Apple. Did we still benefit from her work? Yes, we could click on a picture and have access to things more easily. Dr. Phil is now engaged in a lawsuit with his old partner who says SHE developed the classes and book ideas for helping people get released from their "problems” but I do not even know her name. However, many people are benefiting from her work. And if Phil has the right stuff he will be able to continue his career. If not his true colors will show once we pass the initial things he shares as -- claimed by his old partner-- they are stolen. I believe that perhaps God did not use the WAY ministry but some good and kind people to whom he could speak, who happened to be in the WAY -- whose hearts were right to turn a car around and come and share what they knew.... Unfortunately, it was good stuff from a bad source. So I do not believe the WAY was a blend of Good and Bad -- I believe it was bad the only good we felt came from a God who loved us, the work of another (or several other) decent men --in SPITE of THE WAY. God can reach through a cesspool to help someone -- it does not mean he created the cesspool. The question posed by Ex is a soulful one -- but really does not have some kind of a Utopian answer. Such as if only we would have all been Catholics life would have been great. All answers would have been present and no other catholic would have ever hurt us. The world is peppered with good and evil. I may sit in a pew on Sunday next to a great person -- next week at the same church I may sit near a serial killer. I think God's church is sprinkled in the hearts of Good people and sometimes we are to BE somewhere and sometimes we are to leave. I cannot deny the benefits of Piffle at that time in my life, I cannot tolerate or excuse the evil I saw at HQS and in VPW, I can only say in a mad and cruel world I was helped when I needed to be by many sources and that patchwork quilt of "sources" continues to change. Maybe that is what church is... maybe it is in the hearts of people and will never be found as a "whole" on one location. I do think there are better locations than others. The Lutherans I knew did not sing with zest but the ones I knew were not criminals masquerading as "good and helpful" people. Maybe it is a "walk". I f VPW did not start his ministry on the heart and work of another I do not think ANY of us would have been involved with the fruits of his labor. His actual fruits were cruel, self-serving, narcissistic, plagiarism and criminal IMO. Think about it, if it was not hidden behind another man's work we would have been witnessed to like this: "Hey, you are cute and I would like you to meet my needs. It's okay. BTW, ya wanna have a burger? We can go sit at McDonals's and believe God to have someone buy us lunch.... Money? Money who needs money? We work part time and give our money to a man who (it has been reported) slips drugs in drinks and sexually abuses them. He is "called" of God after all. But don't worry if you get knocked up we can have abundant sharing pay for it.... it's cool. By the way, our leader really invented the "fast food" restuarant, the "hook shot" and has God confirm things with snow storms. It is getting cloudy -- hey maybe it will snow and confirm another Biblical truth today!" Oh yeah, sign us up! I think the jews saw God work in the concentration camps while under the Germans. Does that mean God wanted them in the camps? Or brought him his love in spite of the camps? That is all I mean. You do not have to agree.

...

If you ask God for bread would he give you a stone? :)--> Well, then no church anywhere is from God because they all have some stones. You have to take the bread then leave apparently. :)--> I asked -- I finally got a piece of bread and the baker in the shop was a fraud. So, my understanding of God came in pieces of bread here and there -- I have not found anyone offering the whole and the only loaf. Do not get me wrong TWI is evil and I believe Vic was. I give HIM no credit. It is the confusion of the stolen class and the subsequent fellowships. The goodness that was in it did not come from TWI but from a different source. I credit that source. Paw, have you found your answers? I am still looking -- sometimes I hear things via Joyce Myer, sometimes people here. I have not found "a place"

Refiner Perhaps this will help you some of us have grown through the years letting go of the idea VPW was a "man of God" some have not. But I think these spots will show you what I mentioned about VPW and BG Leonard. Perhaps you will see growth and people who choose to stand still. But it may fill in a little background for you. (and it may just give you a headache) http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...4352#8286054352 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...3584#7046043584 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...04702#752104702 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...1232#1726021232 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...6232#3586066232 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...6035#5916096035 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...08414#886608414 http://gscafe.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=9...6061#8106076061 There were times I struggled with "was what came my way" ALL from Satan? I mean was TWI the counterfiet to prevent us from finding BG Leonard's class? And I do wonder.... But when I have thought that way I have been very depressed because that would mean I asked God for his heart and all he sent was empty churches, a devil spirit and a cult -- Then I would have to believe there was no God. But I KNOW there is one, so I have to go through and figure out what part was him... And even if THE WAY was the counterfiet ministry designed AGAIN to steer me for God, at least I got to hear the teachings of a good man who loved God because his class was stolen and presented by a creep. So, again I credit God for the good. I am NOT thankful that VPW is a class jacking thief, or a pervert or anything. Just that I got to hear Leonard's class even though it was from a pathetic broken down creep like VPW- I just wish I took it and kept looking.

He said "It is only a matter of who gets to them first....JWs, TWI, or the Reverand Sun Myung Moon." Then you agree by mentioning it as getting there first....sale...

I looked into the churches and they were serving up slop at the time. maybe the "whole church if God" was remiss in truly holding forth "the love of God" as I did not get answers there either. We needed what we heard at the time we needed it -- then when we needed to leave -- we stayed TOO LONG. By staying, I passed the goodness felt via the class developed by Leonard and entered into the realm of VPW which to me was EVIL. Maybe, if I had LEFT when I should have I would have continued my search and found a healthy church.

Refiner For me: It was at a time of "revival" as the country had big flowers on "vans" and Jesus loves you bumpers on Volkswagen bugs. The Monkees, Herman’s Hermits and Leslie Gore were replaced by Iron Butterfly, Eric Clapton, and Bad Finger. The world must have been off its axis for kids who wore matching sweaters and skirts suddenly threw away their bras, wore trippin’ glasses, leather virgin bands, and moccasins. We were lost in some king of upheaval and I think many of us were not really sure what the hoopla was. For some it was the Viet Nam war and for others it was parental control and the introduction of the drug culture. As one writer put it “They were the antidote within the disease. The dichotomy of poetry and turbulence these were the 60’s and early 70’s.” For me it was the beginning of my recognition that I was lost. It was a time of I was begging God to answer my questions, to deliver me and to heal my heart. I went searching in all those conventional places I listed in my previous post. AND I still believe what initially happened to me with TWI was FROM GOD. A friend of mine named Joe and I were looking for spiritual enlightenment and we were searching. One night there was a very odd man who told us (Joe and me and two friends) about God. As he spoke the room lit up with an artificial light and he began to speak but it was no longer him speaking. This “voice” told us that we were the reincarnated Arc and angels and Apostle Paul and Peter. For a period of time we believed that “voice” who told us that Jesus had failed and the daughter of God was coming. We were “preaching” this “new” message. In the meantime a young singer named “Eddie” (from TWI) was on his way to meet a guy name “Paul” to get into music in California. As this young man traveled with his wife he HEARD God tell him to go back to the town he just left. He was told some people there need to hear the truth and get delivered. Eddie turned the car around and went back home to find Joe (a stranger at the time) teaching this weird doctrine. Eddie approached him and told him that was not possible, Jesus did not fail and there was NOT going to be a daughter of God to redeem man and pulled out his pocket Bible. “Let me show you some things” Then Eddie shared with Joe that God loved him, answers were not arbitrary and there was power in the Word of God. Joe took a class called “Power for Abundant Living”. Then, Joe convinced me I needed it. And frankly, I did need it. The voice we heard and the odd light which surrounded the man who was speaking with this "voice" was a DEVIL spirit. And we had been to so many churches "seeking God" we were targeted by Satan and that which we saw was supernatural - the angel of light -- the trick delivered to destroy us. My involvement with “Twig” (in home fellowships) was wonderful. I was never more happy or fulfilled. I prayed for everyone all the time and my home was open to people who needed to learn about the love of Christ. I did SEE miracles. I did receive “direction” I would not have been able to know any other way except God and I was so joyous. Then, I left my home state to live in a Way home and then enter the Way corps. And I learned the closer one got to VPW the weirder, meaner and more self-serving people and policies became. The ministry I saw in the corps at all four campuses was in complete contrast to the loving tender twig fellowships I had been involved with back home. It was a different as darkness and light. The love was fraudulent from most of the people in charge and was always presented in a way where “they were just trying to see you grow.” Then, whatever the instruction was-- it was self-serving. (Removed reference letter that was here, return to current post) I believe that each place I went may have had a piece of the pie— and TWI had (a stolen piece yes) a bigger piece until, as I said, one found VPW and saw he was not godly… Then, one has to separate things. I think VPW was evil but I think the class he stole was from a good minister… Talk about Satan trying to confuse people....

Refiner: Think what you will but- I absolutely disagree. Whoever gets there first did NOT make the sale with me AT ALL. I went seeking Jesus Christ and the power thereof. I checked out the Lutherans with their anemic singing and cardboard cutout pew filling Christian lives. I went to the Catholic Church and lay before the alter and begged God for help. I spoke to the black caped nuns who had me sprinkle holy water on the archway of my door -- this did NOTHING. I checked out the "Jesus groups" Then one woman told my friend you have a girl with long brown hair who is praying for deliverance.... I went to her and for a period her "group" was very helpful in my steps to find Jesus. But when she told me my husband had sold out to Satan and could not be saved - I moved on. I had enough sense to leave when I thought something was not right. I then checked out the Methodists with a girl who invited me along, the baptists with my neighbors, the Pentecostals in Parksburg Penna. and they were just fine until I heard a "prophesy" which said, "I speak not through this filthy rag to glorify men but to glorify God...." I thought a loving God would NOT speak that way so I never went back there. I needed to know God.... As I had seen evil and knew if the dark side had power the LIGHT side would have more power and it would not cost the same price as the power the dark side offered. So, a miracle did happen. And perhaps what makes our experience different than other cults is our GUY stole a class developed by a man who really did love God and REALLY did want to help people. So that stolen "class" really had heart in it, but was stolen by a man I believe had no heart. I believe he wanted to be "rich, powerful, famous and unaccountable" for that which he did. So, to hear that Jesus loved you and that God would never leave you or forsake you were strong REALities. In my area we DID see the goodness of God. But as one drew closer to the apparent "source" (the man teaching the class --- but not responsible for it as it was stolen) then one could see the badness of the devil and the initial good things evaporated for "the man" who presented the class was NOT working for God. But the originator of "the class" was. It is an additional twist. To me it is apparent with the Mormons either you believe John Smith found gold plates or you didn't. With the Jehovah witnesses they were immediately pushy and pushed their brand of doom. With TWI they (back in the early 70's and depending on where you were the circa may vary) These people were fun and light. They sang their hearts out to God and brought a positive message of Love. They were refreshing as was what they spoke. I was witnessed to by Jehovah Witnesses (and no offense) but was turned off immediately by their message of deprivation -- give up this or that and God will love you -- Give up birthday gifts and recognition and God some how blessed you for it. Or that we were in the end times and only 144,000 people would now be saved... I figured that number had already been met... And I did not stand a chance. The Moonies, I never went near because I was not about to cut my hair and they had NO fashion sense.( :)-->) I have been reading your stuff for awhile now -- and frankly, to explain what we went through is hard enough to share with each other let alone someone NEVER in. I am not saying we were special. I am saying the trick was different because the actual "foundation" came from a place of love, developed by a man named BG Leonard who did love God and stolen by a man who loved himself. I think it was more confusing and less detectable initially. So, I disagree, I liked what I heard. I needed to know God loved me WHERE I WAS AT. I needed to understand that Jesus was a personal saviour and I still believe it today -- because it was a truth -- Not because the WAY was truthful. There in lies the trap.

If you like what you have read here are some more healing keys http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/menu.html

This is agreat tool she sited: The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. ~ Henry Maudsley This second tool is a tool of the emotions, or soul. It is also the connecting point for the body and the soul, or the place where body and soul align and work together. This is the tool of Crying. Of all the weapons and all the tools, the Crying Tool is the star. It is a simple process — after all, every child knows how to cry—but it will be hard to do because we have all been systematically taught not to cry since we were born. But the importance of crying is world shaking! If you were only allowed to do one thing—you should cry. If you only had limited time and energy, you should use your available time and energy to cry. If you had to fight to maintain your movement forward—you should fight for crying. Crying — by itself — will lead to remembering accepting feelings changing beliefs making new decisions ending our slavery and going home. Feelings and their purpose The purpose of feelings is so that you will know how you respond to an experience. Your feelings will tell you if it is a pleasant experience or a painful one. But if you do not listen to the feelings, you will not know. Our feelings are filled with important information; information about what is going on in our world and what our response is to those experiences. However, feelings give you their wisdom only if they are allowed to move in you and through you. Feelings must be released through their natural process to be of value. The place that holds your feelings (in the unconscious) has great wisdom for you. It is your wisdom, but it is being withheld from you. (??Why do we have a conscious and an unconscious??) You cannot accept your feelings if you are standing outside of them, watching them. To accept your feelings you must experience them. You must place your point of consciousness within the feelings that have been stored in your unconscious. After the moment of placing your consciousness in your feelings, there must be a shift. Until now, the part of you that thinks of itself as you, has been in control. But in order to let your feelings express, your control must shift. Control must be given to the part of you that feels. And this makes you “feel” vulnerable because “you” don’t want to lose control. However, the part of you that feels is also “you.” And it is an important part of you; a part that can give you strength, wisdom, integrity and purpose, and can help you in all your endeavors. To cry, you must re-learn how. There are three phases to the process, described here: Three steps of the emotional healing process. Warning We have lost the ability to move our emotions naturally, and in its place have put a useless and dangerous practice called "acting out." We act out our feelings in the world and on ourselves, rather than actually feel and process them. Acting out is like a child playing house. It looks like house, but it is not really. In acting out, we take emotions and play them out. We yell and scream and get cross with people (especially children) and act out our anger. We get sad and depressed and act out our grief. We go to scary movies and do dangerous activities so we can act out our fear. Why do we act out rather than process our feelings properly? Because in acting out we believe we are strong. Acting out gives us the illusion that we are in charge. Acting out means I don’t have to feel my real feelings — I can pretend instead. There is no reconciliation in acting out. There is no relief in acting out. There is no understanding in acting out. When acting out, we either hurt others or ourselves. Feelings processed properly bring relief and instruct us about ourselves. Feelings processed properly never hurt anyone or anything. Feelings processed properly bring understanding, wisdom and love. You must be careful not to get side tracked into acting out. All the forces that want to keep you enslaved, encourage you to act out your feelings rather than release them, because that is how they keep us enslaved. Heck Dovey had her son die and was forbidden to talk about it or to cry. She was too just go on as if nothing ever happened, TWI took away her simple right to FEEL and to cry as a result of those feelings... (But David cried out to God -- maybe they forgot that!)

Next the tools: http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/tools.html Remember take what you can away from what they share, you do not have to accept everything they believe. I am a Christian who believes in a saviour. But I do think I need to hold his hand and go back and look at what went into the buliding of "me". So, I am asking jesus to walk with me back to the bricks that were laid in my foundation so I can change.

Healing! I found this on that website and although I do not agree with all of the things they believe I think they have a strong grip on healing so I will post their things -- giving credit to them of course.... Beliefs and healing our pain The first weapon I give you in this fight is REMEMBERING. It is time to remember. You must remember 3 things: 1.Who you are 2.Your past 3.What you are afraid of Waking up and remembering is the hardest thing you will ever do. It will take all your courage and all your commitment. But you must do it. You must do it with me if we are to live (and we have a right to live). Make no mistake, this is a war. We must be guerilla fighters - always under cover, in small groups of 2's, 3's and 4's. Until we have remembered and become strong enough, our fight must be with ourselves and the dream we have escaped into. Before we can use the weapon of remembering in our fight to survive, we must understand why we do not remember. Why we don’t remember We don’t remember because it is too painful. Every experience you have had is stored somewhere in your memory banks. Along with the memories is the pain you felt during that experience. Pain does not go away just because we refuse to acknowledge that we feel it. All it does is to go out of our awareness. If you resist your feelings, you will not be able to remember. So, our second weapon is ACCEPTANCE OF OUR FEELINGS. We must come to know and understand our feelings if we are to accept them. First we must overcome our fear of them. To do that we must learn their purpose, how they function, and their value. When we understand our feelings, they become our great ally - our help and our salvation. I do not say this lightly. Our emotions are our greatest strength - now in our fight to survive - and always - if we understand them. Because their purpose is to tell us the truth about ourselves: when we love, when we are hurt, when we are angry and when we are afraid. How can we live well if we do not have this knowledge of ourselves to guide us? How can we live sanely and lovingly if we do not let ourselves know how we feel?In order to learn to accept our feelings, we must look at some of the beliefs we have about them. We are afraid of our feelings because we are told many lies about them. Our beliefs make us afraid of what we feel. Lies We Believe About Feelings Weapon Three The third weapon in our fight to survive is CHANGING OUR BELIEFS. We all have a set of beliefs that are a major part of us and have been with us from our first experiences. Beliefs are not a part of our consciousness, but have a life below the surface in our unconscious mind. We are never free of our beliefs and we create our lives based on what we believe. Our Belief System is created by those closest to us, by our experiences and by the beliefs that are held by the world and its institutions. Changing these beliefs will be a part of our fight to survive, because most of our beliefs are lies and they cripple us. Mistaken beliefs keep us from being who we truly are. How do we begin the process of changing our beliefs? We can begin by looking at our decisions. Weapon Four The fourth weapon in the fight to survive is to EXAMINE YOUR DECISIONS - bad ones and good ones and those that happened by default (by not making a decision when one was needed). Our decisions can show us what our beliefs are. Because our decisions are always based on 1.the painful experiences we must remember 2.our feelings (hurt, fear, anger) 3.our mistaken beliefs. By looking at our decisions, we can trace the reasons for the decisions we made, or are in the process of making. We can find the beliefs, especially those beliefs we have about ourselves, that cause us to make decisions for our lives that do not work. Then we must go back to the memories and feelings that drove us to make those decisions. I know I have made this seem simple. And I know it is very hard. But to help in this process, I have tools that will make it easer. Even if you were unable to use any of the weapons, we could still win our fight and survive, if we just committed to using the Tools. The tools will bring you home. http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/true_story.html

If God did not come along when he did I would be dead. I believe I needed to know BG Leonard's principals he uncovered and BG was not marketing his class... So, I got the (stolen version) class and it did set me free. BUT Then, when I knew it was time to leave I stayed TOO LONG. So, I feel that I took BG Leonard's class and the wonderful truths of God were there enough to keep me from death. The original branch in my area saw wonderful things as we did not yet tknow the evils of HQS nor did we know the class was stolen... So we reaped a lot of beauty in our lives. As I got closer to HQS and met the "theif" I saw a GREAT difference between what I had learned and lived and the MAN teaching it. That was VERY confusing. But I have grown and I know when to leave when things turn now - for the most part. So to me, it was like being at the beach with a wonderful surprise picnic basket. What a blessing with the cool drinks and the icy sandwich... I have great fun from the nutrition I received. But after several hours in the sun I recognize the things are "not right" but I eat them anyway, because they tasted so good BEFORE. This time they make me very ill but I keep eating.... God was in what happened to me because the origin of the class came from a godly man, then when I met and had what the "theif man" actually produced and saw it was stinky and not right -- "I" stayed and kept eating. That is not God's fault. It was my confusion about the goodness of the class and the badness of the teacher. I could not reconcile the two so I kept trying to get things back to the way they were but you cannot fix mayonaise once it has turned and that is kinda what I tried to do. Had I have been anywhere else I would have left -- but the beginning -- the stolen fruits I did not know were stolen -- were presented so beautifully and filled me with strength that I stuck around "the basket" hoping to find good food again. If you pray for a car and God gives you one and later you are driving too fast and not paying attention and get in an accident should God have never given you the car? Or did you muck up the gift?