Dot Matrix

What is the belizean biblical research center?

Why do people fiddle in marraiges? Heck did you know the corps leaders fixed people up to get married. Talk about fiddling. I had a guy ask me to marry him and one of the king pins sent a more deserving woman to him. Oh well, his loss.

Oh, brother. I just read the article

I found it on a site, I like the start but not the conclusion. Cast All Your Votes For Dancing The Dance I know the voice of depression Still calls to you. I know those habits that can ruin your life Still send their invitations. But you are with the Friend now And look so much stronger. You can stay that way And even bloom ! Keep squeezing drops of the Sun From your prayers and work and music And from your companions' beautiful laughter. Keep squeezing drops of the Sun From the sacred hands and glance of your Beloved And, my dear, From the most insignificant movements Of your own holy body. Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins That may buy you just a moment of pleasure, But then drag you for days Like a broken man Behind a farting camel. You are with the Friend now. Learn what actions of yours delight Him, What actions of yours bring freedom And Love. Whenever you say God's name, dear pilgrim, My ears wish my head was missing So they could finally kiss each other And applaud all your nourishing wisdom ! O keep squeezing drops of the Sun From your prayers and work and music And from your companions' beautiful laughter And from the most insignificant movements Of your own holy body. Now, sweet one, Be wise. Cast all your votes for Dancing!

The pocket protector guy would use a tissue and get a pedicure. Where was my head when he was out there?

GAG!!!! Mine blows his nose in the shower. And cleans his toe nails with a hanger. Dear God!

Sudo: I am really laughing but this serious thing inside of me sees the poor choice I made as an idiot younger girl. Somehow the guy who ran with scissors was appealing. A rebel. Perhaps doing things I wanted to do. Wearing snake skin jackets, sucking down a brew and having me on his shoulder. I liked it. But you are right. It does go no where cause bad boys sometimes become bad men. 30 years later with their comb over and pot belly, they sport a sagging tatoo that now looks like they fell in some tie-dye and they still think they are cool --- NOT What I would give to go in the time machine and date the stable guy who wanted to be a Doctor or the college guy who liked me and was in dental school. But no! Tight jeans, a perky asz and an attitude was all it took to win my heart. Geez. And yeah, my first love was also a great guitar player. He raced motor cycles and did other real guy stuff. He was hot. His green eyes flashed as he had a sexy smirk that just melted me. I wish now I had gotten all hot and bothered of a pocket protector and glasses. I bet those guys put the lid down. But still after 30 years, I think we were SOOOO happy how could he just leave? Don't bad boys ever fall and stay in love? Diazbro - yes playing in a band brings the chicks! Top of the W: That is a good look as an outsider. I have friends who have cheated and somewhere in me I think "Once a cheater always a cheater" George: Your mate should have given you that chance. I understand the pain of the cheater, it just does something awful to the person cheated on. Rascal - Sounds like my heaven except for the 7 kids part. What the "heck" Didn't you ever use the phrase, "Not tonight, I have a headache?" Pond I enjoyed your words.

Seth you are in our prayers.

It sounds pretty cool. I think its about Jsus and Peter. Never heard of it before.

Have a great birthday! 31? You are sweet.

I just read what I wrote, and I apologize to all nice men everywhere. I just never dated you. Ya know, I sayI am just not interested in cheating. But I do know what cheating did to me when I was young. Not a spouse but the love of my life. One day we were so happy. He was funny and so wonderful to be around. He had everyone laughing. He was quick and always doing something fun. But he was a bad boy. Drinking beer, shooting pool and always had the attention of girls. Tall with green eyes and a smile that could launch a ship it had so much energy. I loved him. I really loved him with every part of me. We were good together. We always had people in stitches, always planning something different. And we could not keep our hands off of each other. I loved him. Then one day, I did not get fat; I was still young and attractive. I was still fun. I still made people laugh; I was still “cool” (when that was “in”) I was still in great sassy clothes with long hair and perfectly applied make-up. But one day that wasn’t enough. One day, on the day of my prom where I never looked better, he cheated on me. It wasn’t for sex as he was my first and we were always “together”. She wasn’t better looking, she didn’t dress as well… She was just there and available and he did it. And I was crushed. I mean listlessly my heart fell from me and pain replaced it. We talked and went back together…. But he cheated again…. Soon instead of feeling good when I was with him I was jealous all the time. I hated that in myself and shortly thereafter we split. I have tried to figure out what I did wrong for 30 years. It wasn’t looks, fun, getting along, sex or anything I can finger. He just went away with someone else and never came back. I guess the biggest thing about cheating is the other person always wonders “why?”.

As I got older, I must say I have learned how to be alone and I prefer alone time. Sometimes being with a guy you do not like is lonelier than being alone. We have had long patches in our relationship where I would have given a body part to have his yelling silenced. But even when things were so horrible I wanted to jump off a cliff, I just never thought another man would make my life better. It is awful but at this age I see men as bossy nuisances. Most men in my life have been controlling abysses of need. Why would I want another one? I never was attracted to NICE guys but to BAD (Wild) boys. And bad boys are fun in their twenties, maybe a cute rebel in their 30's but by 40.... Well, the drinking, pool shooting, porn watching man to me is not attractive. I wish I had gotten with a NICE guy. So, cheating to me is not appealing at all. Now, a quiet home in the country, with 10 dogs and cats, an hour from a mall is my idea of heaven. I would miss my husband, but life with the toliet lid always down has a certain appeal to me. Much more appealing than a new man.

HAve a great Day!

HAppy Birthday!

Happy Birthday

Tom Here is the thing about being a FAN. I do care that I think Jen is hurt. But even if they are all happy as a fan of Brad and Jen, I kinda still want them together. Like Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher. When he ran off with Liz Taylor the whole sountry got upset. It is that kind of fan stupidity that has me all wrapped up in this like a "rag" junky or something. There is no reason for it, it is none of my business and yet not only do I pay attention as if I KNOW them, we (the girls at work and I) always talk about them as if our opinion matters Go figure, I have the fan desease.

Do you recall how they tried to make a musical cop show with Cop Rock? It was awful. In the 40's they did things better in that area maybe. Now broadway shows still have music like "Cats" or "Les Miserable" Cop Rock

Pond/Sweetpea and others I understand where you are coming from. I had to leave an abusive marriage and I left with NOTHING. I left my house, I left a lot behind and I was never able to make it up. I am better off having left as I so believe he was becoming more and more dangerous and would have killed me. I do know NOW I am older. There are times I am so lonely I could cry. There are times I wish I would get hugged or snuck up on and kissed on the neck. I miss those sweet things that made days special and help to bind hearts. Then came illnesses, unbelievable bills to pay, job loss and it was all we could do to swim. Working and looking for ways to pay endless hospital bills was like trying to survive the sinking of the Titanic. He was sick and I selfishly and deep down was angry that he was sick. I know it was wrong but I really had this subconcious thing going on. We came through it all. Still not back to where we were, it did effect us. Things are not the same. I would like to say we grew together and are stronger, but like a couple who looses a child usually do not make it from all the guilt and blame, we fell to all of those things. HE felt guilty because he was sick and resented the fact that I was healthy in away. Felt as though I could not understand how this illness ruined him and his dreams. We got to be miles apart. But one thing I do know, to lie in the arms of another is not the answer. I think my husband knows it as well. Recently, we began to pray to see each others hearts again, to see past the storms and the fights about money and to find each other again. I have learned after being divorced and remarried happiness is not about the choices we made in a spouse-- as everyone has problems, its how we handle those short comings and storms. We did not handle them well, we barley survived, but we survived this storm. I keep thinking are there happy people out there? But it has got to be deeper than looks, all though looking good is nice, it has to be an internal connection that you do not want to end no matter what. And sometimes the "no matter what" can be long and miserable. IT is then I think divorce maybe considered. But you are right, it is hard to maintain the lifestyle with the dividing of the paychecks. So, you feel stuck. I found a million reasons to blame my husband for my plight. Then, I decided to look at what made me LIKE him to begin with, before the bills, the sicknesses and job loss. There was a good hearted man that really got hit with the "worse" of the for better or worse in the vows. I wonder sometimes if we had the "better" if we'd be together or if then the 20 year olds would have come out of the woodwork if we were very wealthy. I dunno, it is always something trying to make you blame or hate the spouse, be it the 20 pounds they gained or the hair loss. But there has to be something bigger something deeper to keep you together. Cheating seems like such an easy way to "feel good" for 5 minutes but causes endless pain. Like suicide, you get rid of the pain but your suicide creates PROBLEMS for other people. I suppose a person cheats when they do not know how to reach their spouse anymore and they stop trying. I dunno. I just do not think it is an answer or a cure to ones life. IT seems to make things worse. So, why do it? Unless you and the spouse agree to stay together for the house and allow yourselves to date others. Then it is not cheating, sneaky or a lie, but an agreement.

Susan was gorgeous and sassy!

Happy Birthday!

WOW So weird to see this.

Are you out there? I'd love to hear from you.

That sounds right.

Actor Brad Pitt hated his wife's chain-smoking, wanted to party more and spoke of Angelina Jolie as a "goddess", it was claimed in the US today. The Hollywood star has apparently moved on since his split with Jennifer Aniston, according to the latest revelations from an American model. April Florio, who claims to have spent three days with Pitt in Greece, told US Weekly the Troy star had tried to kiss her but she "shied away". "He was attracted to me," the 22-year-old told the magazine. "We drank wine and chatted." Below is the image in its original context on the page: www.smh.com.au/.../ 2005/02/17/1108500184115.html

Closure Is it necessary to move forward? Is it sometimes needed to move forward? Is it a buzzword? I have found it vital to moving forward. My father, a WWII vet, says for God sake we were in war, you can’t go back and fix it and experience closure you just keep moving. In a way, that mind set is what hurt me in TWI and other areas. I just kept moving. But as I kept moving I kept hauling baggage. When I look at "it", when I am able to let go, the walk in life is lighter. It took me a lifetime to have closure with my first love. I needed it but it was not there "to close" so I moved on. I took all the pain and weird habits on how to protect myself from that kind of pain happening again. When I wrote him a letter before his death, all this stuff began to make sense and clear up. I needed closure. I got it. How do you feel? Is that why we are here? Closure; to get and help others have closure.