Dot Matrix

Caribo- That was a really nice honest post. Sometimes there is a chemistry and we just have to NOT act on it.

Now this crap just kills me. The woman rapist has the baby of the child they are raping. My God! Should the child that was raped have to pay child support when they are older? http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1275454/posts I think a woman rapist need to be punished

I am not always able to get to the "net". We do not have it at work. There are some painful points brought up here. And teaching our children to say no and how to protect themselves is huge. But what about teaching boys and girls how to respect each other? Kinda hard in an MTV world. My sister found her son with bondage magazines. She sat down with him and told him that is not making "love". She and her son had long talks about respecting each other and each others bodies. Who knows if it helped or he just hid the magazines better.

I think the “classic” kind of rape with a man crawling through a window with a knife is definitely violent and is rape. But what about where the lines blurr… The guy who knows you are a virgin and bets his friend he can “have you” and all things said to “get you there” are lies. Is that rape? It is getting you to do something you do not want to do -- you do not want to have sex without genuine love…. They tell you they love you to get into your pants…. Is that just a more refined acceptable rape? Merely manipulation with bad consequences? Or is this rapist just more intelligent and patient then the guy coming through the window? When someone’s intent is merely to have the “vagina” (using men as the rapist here but you can flip flop it) and they do anything to get the “vagina” that may not be a rape of violence but more of a chess game – the results are similar a girl has been violated, led to believe something that does not exist, and the guy (in this example) walks away with having had the “vagina” and in some very real way has stolen the girls’ (in this example’s) power. I think I am just shocked at how many acceptable forms of “unwanted sex” happens. Example: My niece was a virgin. She did not want to engage in meaningless sex, but was looking to be loved – especially for her first time. One of the hottest 17-year-old-guys in school asked her out. …Went out with her several times. She was 15-years-old. And to be cool, she accepted a drink. He “had sex with her” then never called her again. She found out he had bet his friends he could “tap that.” She asked me, “Was that rape? I feel raped. Maybe not jumped from a bush but set up by evil intent and violated.” Was she raped? Not by violence – but the guy did take her power, IMO. I helped at a rape crisis center. You hear so many stories where people have been emotionally paralyzed by unwanted sex. Is it all rape, surely it cannot be. Sometimes people get there signals crossed. The person thinks the other wants it – inexperience – whatever…. But sometimes, frankly I don’t know. I think if the intent of the one seeking sex is evil, abusive, violent, or empowering or simply to use people then it is rape. But when people cry rape to get “even” that should also be a crime punishable by jail/prison. The consequence from the above example? At 16 she quit school and left home. Once a popular cheerleader she withered into a broom pusher at a hair salon. Yes, we tried to get her help…. Did she loose something that day or was it taken from her? Or did she give it away? I watched one of those TV magazine shows it was about a college girl who was slipped something and raped. About 20 years later the guy contacts her and says he is sorry. She is prosecuting him. (Yeah, after all these years, not sure how they pulled it off) But one of the things that stood out was how many people WHEN she told them, either did not believe her, dismissed her, or kind of thought she was to blame as she went to the party.... What is rape? http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Ab..._definition.htm Dictionary Definitions Rape: Sexual intercourse with a woman by a man without her consent and chiefly by force or deception. Statutory rape: Sexual intercourse with a female who is below the statutory age of consent. Consent: Compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another.

Copenhagen! You have my vote!!!!!

Temple lady I know what you mean, a-father-friend-of-mine had a teen daughter who allowed her female teen friend to spend the night. The next day, unbeknownst to him they cut school. When the shcool called the father (my friend), he notified the mother of the teen who spent the night. That teen got so angry she said, "Well, her father touched me in the middle of the night." The short story: The father lost his job, lost his home, lost his daughter and had to get an atty to represent him in court. Fortunately, the girl had written a note to a school friend who said she was going to accuse the father to "get even," if that note had not surfaced he'd be in jail. Also, he still has it on his record that he was up on charges. To have it wiped off his record he needs to pay some sort of cost, he does not have. The only job he could get was at a deli his friend owned -- money is tight and the recovery slow. edit for typo

Raf didn't check in... You okay? Belle My parents lost their home in hurricane Charlie

But if you still live under the same roof and are still a wife- I bet the courts will not see it as rape. But if you talk to the husband and tell him you no longer want to do this and it is forced Well, rape There is the word force again. What about the con man lover. The guy who loves the (say) woman and swindles her out of her funds. He lies to get her money, the same lies got her in bed. Is that ethically a rape or just a stupid woman. OR forget ehtically is it just a rape. Garth Isn't it weird that in one state you can are a rapist and one you are not. Makes me wonder what goes into the thought process of making the laws... Is it a discussion like this? People sitting around disscussing ethics, what crosses the line, what is bad judgement or actual rape.

That's it! Thanks

I just want to know what people think rape is... Casual I guess. Recently there was a young guy who had sex as a teen with an underage girl and he is going to jail. But what if they were both underage? Or what if they were both underage and a day later one was 18 -- does a birthday then make the sex act rape? It was sex yesterday and rape today. If you get someone drunk to have sex with them and you know they didn't want it when they are sober -- is that just manipulation... or some form of an acceptable rape in society? I hear, well she did not have to drink -- and that is true. So, what makes it rape? The act of sex when it is unwanted? But then two teens may consent and a birthday may make it legally rape. Or is rape about intent? If I set you up to use you for sex is that a form of rape? Or is that simply someone too stupid to see they were being used. Through the years we have discussed rape usually around TWI. Some think to be lied to and mislead and taken to bed is rape. Some think it is unfortunate. I am curious where people see the lines. Are we harder on TWI people? Or are we easier? Is rape more about what the person is thinking than what they are doing. Sex is a penis and vagina (mostly) But is rape intent? I intend to get sex from you so I will get you drunk. I intend to get waht I want from you so I will lie. I intend to get what I want so I will force you When does it become rape in those cases where there is no mask and weapon. When I was about 18 I got stoned on some great weed. I was with a guy I liked but had NO intention of having sex with him. This weed almost stopped my body from being able to move. I was saying "No" but I could not move. He had sex with me. Was that rape? I think it was stupidity on my part. But if he intended to "get me" and gave me something extra that day then I think it was rape... That is a personal example. But there are many examples... The lines are not always clear. Yeah, that is what I mean. I think the intend is terrible so does that make it rape... I think it might. But I am sure he doesn't think so...

I hate being under them or on them for the same reason. I prefer to NOT have electric windows incase the car plunges into water and the electricity blows on the car locking you in ----

Rape We all know the guy in the mask invading your life thru a window with a knife – then forcing themselves on you is rape. But what other things are and are not rape in your opinion? Two fifteen year-olds have consensual sex. They are both under age. Are they raping each other? A fifteen-year-old sexually active girl and an 18-year-old boy date and have sex. They had sex when he was 17 – but now that he is 18 does it become rape? If a person gets a person drunk with the intent to “have sex “ is that rape or should the girl/guy not have drank so much? If a person has sex with a person who is mentally challenged is it rape? If someone is seeking help, say with a Doctor, a psychiatrist and he is attracted to her and has sex with her is it rape? If she started it does it change things? Suppose a 60-year-old minister entices an 18-year-old with the taunt of you’d be blessing the man of God, or your body is your ministry. Manipulation. Unethical. Is that rape? If they offer her a drink with a little something in it, then have sex with her is that rape? She would not have been willing without the drink. What and where are the lines? What and who should be punished, criminally?

Well then... Interesting... And the Way clergy.... Are all the ones that left defrocked? Cause I gotta tell you there are some (here) I think have a ministry. Can they retain status or be reordained by another group? back to bad classes and such...

So to Ductape or anyone else, I was just doing my best not to have a street fight. I am not closed to others ideas. I think Duc tape has/had great ideas. The way it was worded I felt I had to respond in a different manner than had the whole I resent you putting.... not been there. Sorry folks. Just a person out here trying to have a pleasent exchange, or even a bit heated, just trying to avoid the defensive button which can stir in me (or others) and make it a p i s s ing contest. Peace, love and Bobby Sherman

BTW I think everyone knows a thread can run a course that isn't not a straight line. Side issues come up , but when they start out with I RESENT YOU... and nobody can see WHY that poseter is all prickly and making an issue. It appears the person is trying to fight and make an argument where there is none. And when it is directed at A PERSON and not an addition, to the left or the right of the topic, it seems personal. Then, when that resented person has to address side issues because the other poster RESENTED something YOU said, then it is not just a running thread with ideas... For me to respond it became personal -- I say this because I think SOME people just doesn't get it... To say I resent you putting... It is like the time..... horses .... 6 year old girl..... It is like people ..... homeless This comment was directed at me, then if I respond, I have to talk about how I help the homeless and the homeless were not the point, then I have to say how I also feel badly for the 6 year old girl. That is why I suggested the poster start a topic on that or it would be a yelling match with me catching up to "it is like..." For the record, as someone PM'd me that it still seems to be an issue -- I wonder what to do about the pitbull... People are awful who fight them Abusers are awful if they abuse kids or dogs I do concern myself with the homeless in the rain.... But then I would have been on the defensive. I tried to not go there and fix things to swing back to the topic. If it bothered any of you I apologize, I was just trying to sidestep an argument. Perhaps, I could have done it differently and better. I am far from perfect.

Story of my life: ruff ruff

I wonder if we are still listed as corps? Or did they burn us in some ritual?

Okay Eagle here is a bully story-- There was a very odd guy at our bus stop. He lived a few houses down and came to our scchool in maybe 11th grade. Anyway, we were in our "cool" Pat Bematar and Mick Jagger type clothes... And this kid had his hair done like Evlis. He had on these pale light blue polyester pants (he wore often if not everyday asI cannot recall tight now.) and black rim old man glasses. Anyway, he gave me a little sheet and I made fun of his pants. We got on the bus and he began to tell Jummy (still a jock) how he wanted to whatever kill me and stick me in the quarry -- he said he wanted me to go for a ride in his car. I did a few retorts Yadda yadda yadda He was caught and was a serial killer. He had killed girls since high school and put some in the quarry.... So, ya never know who you are f'ing with or who is f'ing with you....

Yes, I think I would have had a crush on Lingo -- did you wear snake skin jackets, Johnny?

Okay, why to you as well? When you do the other foot first it doesn't feel right -- that is funny

Okay, I have to know why?

Mark I never heard of this before Hedonism

[b]Today, it's different. People don't fight there, they just shoot each other. Much simpler and more efficient. They don't even get out of the car anymore, some places. Sort of a fast-food approach to bullying. [/b]

I am afraid to post… In junior high and first year of high school- I hung out with the girls who were in the popular clique. At the time the “IN” fashion was Ladybug and villager and John Myer of Norwich. I carried a John Romaine handbag or an Etienne Aigner. My shoes had to be Weejuns (kilt loafers) by bass. I had a circle pin with my initials and gold bangles bracelets and that was the “acceptable” uniform. The kids who wore bad clothes well, we did pick on them by grabbing the back of their sweaters and shirts to read the labels. Then, snobbishly walk away. I was an azz. Snobbish and perhaps a bully but not with fists. My friends did things like had a horse and went on a fox hunt on Saturday, or played tennis at the club. I took guitar, swimming, diving, tennis, tap and ballet lessons. I was in school plays and was one of the six girls in school picked to be in a special tap dancing thing we did in plays. So, we had the spotlight a bit. That can be a good and a bad thing. By 11th grade the culture had changed and the popular crowd wore moccasins, blue jeans French undershirts, love beads and tripping glasses. So, I did that. By then, the customs glorified bad boys and they were whom I dated. Boys in snake skin jackets, who looked like Tommy Lee back in the day when he was hot. At that point, I became more of a no crap person, as we all were a little more rebellious and wild. Cutting class, experimented Lucy in the Sky and all, and if anyone screwed with us we’d screw them back. Bullies – some may have seen it like that – but mostly we were considered “cool”. So, no more fox hunts but hanging in a parking lot with Maryjane, like little Cher Bono's or Pat Benatars... Similar to the show "Grease", I was a Sandy type in the right sweaters and skirts then became the Sandy at the end wearing leather. (Not that I looked like her --- I changed like her) But at the same time, I would step in and help out the kids, I grew up with, when they were picked on by the kids from the merging school. I just never took anybody’s crap, I fought it with wit and humor and a little toughness. When I got involved with TWI, I was suddenly hanging out with people at whom I would have never given a second look. I found many wonderful people from all kinds of places. It was the one good thing that came out of TWI…. I grew in depth. However, I had to become so “square” I lost my identity for a long while. Parts of me needed to be lost. But parts of me need to be found again – like guts and confidence. (Too late, I discovered that “cool” wears off really quickly and BRAINS gives you big paychecks and respect. Two of my dearest friends were little Catholic school girls. One became an Attorney -- I wish I had been more studious)

I was reading your reply and thought -- boy can I relate to her!