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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Rascal -- I am nodding Highway - you are fortunate -
Hap I brought this up "NOW" rather than then, as I did not know of it. I first heard of this via America's Most Wanted. Then, I heard it brought up on the Christian Radio to try and get these guys pardoned. Biker - I am sick of it as well.
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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Yeah Act2, I know that OMG feeling. It was like an endless panic attack.... The phone would ring and I wondered if my leaving caused a family member some harm, or a back fire made me afraid something happened cause I left --- One thing, that did help me, was I went "to see someone" and when I began to tell her she said "You are not that powerful...." It helped me and that layer left. And the other day I realized how many more subsurface layers there still were. But prior to my seeing "someone," the actual FEAR they laid in me (the punishment for leaving TWI) became BELIEVING. I would drive to work and be frightened of any car near me, OMG please don't let them hit me, I had to leave TWI to surrvive.... Pls God The fear was palletable. -
Dog named Hero http://www.suntimes.com/news/189090,CST-NWS-hero28.article Saves his owners Around 4 a.m. Tuesday, Melissa Boyd awoke to Noah screaming her name. She opened her bedroom door to 4-foot-tall flames and smoke so thick she could barely find Noah's door. Hero -- whom the Boyds adopted from the Porter County Humane Society six months ago -- had sensed danger and began licking Noah's face. Noah woke up and, following the fire safety tips he learned in school, screamed for his mother. Noah and Melissa ran outside and called 911. When firefighters arrived, they pulled Hero from the house and watched him collapse on the lawn, vomiting and wheezing from smoke inhalation. They gave him an oxygen mask. After an hour, Hero was back on his feet, albeit with a burned throat and nagging cough. He's on antibiotics and still wheezes when he barks.
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I saw it on AMW and they did say that the guys did not fill out the paperwork and they did pick up the casings. The way Walsh related it; it was a mistake. But EVEN if these agents were involved in something shady -- WHY pardon a drug dealer, and allow him to sue our country for 5 million dollars?
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Wow, is that ever true!
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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Highway I was a brave teenager, but then I looked at witchcraft and became frightened to death. I took PFAL for a couple reasons one was to get rid of fear I think. And like you they helped me to get rid of it, then gave it back to me. I hate being afraid Sunesis Great words, thanks Ex Yeah, I got worse as well... -
It has been days and I am still very sad.
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A woman client has a cocker Spaniel. She had a heart attack and fell on the floor. Her dog, Peppi, laid by her and licked her face, then running to the window throwing open the curtains and banging on the window and howling to get attention. Yvonne finally got to the phone and got help, but her dog was doing everything he could to save her life.
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Why is our border patrol in so much trouble for guarding the border Two Border Patrol Agents seize a van full of marijuana as the smuggler flees across the border. So how did that seemingly common scenario result in the agents facing long prison terms? http://www.amw.com/features/feature_story_detail.cfm?id=1369 They shot at a drug dealer who is now suing america for 5 million dollars. And the US pardons the drug dealer so he can testify against the border patrol. Another border patrol man, orders a van to stop. They pull over and as he approaches, then the van takes off. The border patrol agent shoots at the tires, in an effort to protect the USA. The bullet, intended for the tire, hits the wheel well where a woman is hiding to enter the country illegally. She is shot through the face. She has now been brought into the USA and we are paying her medical bills as this agent is in trouble for the shooting
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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Oh, it was devilish alright. The ministry of the devil is steal, kill and destroy.... The ministry Destroyed couples with the whole have sex with any leader that asked Killed pregnancy because it may interfer with corps or WOW commitments Stole years, money, property On and on -
Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
PB you said That is just it, I did not do it because I thought I was loving God. I did not stand up for him because I was terrified to stand up for him. Terrified God would stop loving me. Where do you run and hide when God stops loving you and instead starts throwing lightening bolts at you (The whole greasespot by morning thing) I recall a believer left the WOW field and his Dad died. It was said openly that his Dad died because he left the WOW field. I do not recall if VP or Luniticdale said it. He that vows a vow.... Yet, when almighty VF's Dad died that was because he was such a mighty leader and the devil was attacking him. My biggest fear was the God, I wanted to serve for the rest of my life, would stop loving me. Then, came the being singled out, and screamed at, disscussed at meetings, labeled as bad corps (which I was anyway). I think that year I may have been having a melt down and did not know it. Who is so afraid God is not going to love them for doing the SANE thing (like leaving the WAY, like not banging any horny corps guy, like defending your husband?) that they do the insane thing? I think that is how insanilty crept into some of our minds. Now, looking through a clearer glass, I see that is how they made me accept evil for good. I still fought things but I was withered, battle scarred, frightened and terrified God would stop loving me. HE was really all I had. God. He is why I got into all of this. Looking to love and serve him. I did not want to live a life having God mad at me. With that kind of fear at my core, I guess the right thing became the wrong thing. Because love stopped being my engine and fear drove me. And I did not even know it. Do you think that is how Craig got so screwed up? He was drained of common sense and driven by fear? Then, motivated by fear? Because from where I sat, it was a spit flying lunatic that ran those meetings. -
Waysider Thanks. I am caught up now. I was 11th corps and trying to picture the guy. I went to HQ that summer with the international "students" What did he look like? I know there was one weirdo guy they were trying to push this CUTE little Spanish girl into marrying. And she was adorable and he really was weird. She did not WANT to marry him and with all the pressure she ran away from TWI all together. One of the Spanish girls contacted me here to let me know all that happened to her. He was not tall and blonde was he? There was a guy who was very chatty, not cold at all, with blonde hair and broad shoulders. He was attractive and I think from Canada or something. I recall him having a name I did not hear much in the USA and wonder if it is him. Bumpy- HE just went in and shot them? Like while they slept or were singing out of the blue book? Do you recall anything more? I recall someone who killed their WOW family or some of their WOW family being talked about but this sounds different than that.
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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Yeah Rascal, I did that as well with the man of whom I speak. I was terrified that if I left the corps and had a child, God would not love me anymore. How warped is that? Yes Pbear - More than anything I was terrifeid I would loose God's love. Even thought they originally taught me (us) God would never leave me or forsake me, they then told me the devil would make me a greasespot by morning.... Or he that vows a vow.... Afraid I would bring a curse on a child, or loose the love of God by defending my spouse I folded like a cheap shirt. I never saw that until of late... -
I guess this thread started somewhere else as it begins as if it were in the middle of something. I went around reading other stuff to catch up and I have no idea where this actually begins. Would someone tell me the begining of this please. Someone killed two people? Is there more to the begining, I am interested and a bit lost. Thank you
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Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
I feared them -- I let them tell me what to do ---- I let these people peck at my soul. Heck, I am from Philly. What the he!! wa I thinking? -
Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
I never realized how full of fear I had become. I was always such a brave kid. I cannot believe how afraid I had become. The eggshell walk.... I think I am being delivered of the fear that had taken root. It had been so drilled into me in the corps that I did not even realize it was there, or that it stayed or that I made huge decsions with the FEAR at the center. God had been my center and I walked with peace. By my final year in the corps, I think I lived one big panic attack. fdspecially, after the lying sack of crap female Rev., lied about me and that fat jolly olf VPW was naked and asked me to do something (I refused to do) Some place in the center of me their words had sprouted. First, the words in PFAL that brought me such a calm and excitment all at the same time. Then, they replaced all the nice words of, "God loves you," with "You are worthless, you will be nothing for God." "You cannot be trusted with God's people." It was so severe. By the time they picked on the husband, there was a part of me that was relieved they were railing on him because it gave me a minute to breathe. How is that for being disgusting? Talk about shame and guilt. As the jackels were telling him he was "not a man of God" and " had no leadership ability" I felt better because they were not saying it to me. How did a gutsy broad like me become such a coward? An idiot. Which one of their mean words finally broke the dam? You know the straw that broke the camel's back. Which straw was it? Was it VPW having all the power and setting me up because I told him no? Was it because I refused to bang the corps guys so I was not what they were looking for? Was it that I knew somewhere in my soul this was crazy but I forced myself to believe it was sane. Believing their bile over my own common sense? When did I let FEAR take God's spot in my heart? I should have stood by my man. I did not. I thought I was doing the right thing, by STANDING by leadership. I am sick. I never really saw this clearly until yesterday. I destroyed things, by my fear of some gangly weird-farm-people with perversions I would have reported if we were out in the world. Now, I feared them. It is like I feared the cast of friggin' hee-haw. How the F did that happen? WG My God, you said it --- terrified. What the he!! kind of people were we following? -
Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix replied to Dot Matrix's topic in About The Way
Rascal Yes, go ahead and tell me --- anyone else? Maybe we will all feel better.... -
Tonight, I realized FEAR killed the life I would have had
Dot Matrix posted a topic in About The Way
Tonight, I recognized something. I was married upon my graduation from the corps. My first marriage was a mess; a teen-age mistake. Divorced- then went coprs. Next, I married a really nice man. But my last year in the corps did something to my soul. It squeezed me into something I hated my first year. I became afraid. I was afraid of being singled out, I was afraid of being screamed at, I was afraid of being torn into. I was afraid. Most of all, I was afraid the things they said might be true. After you hear something over and over from leaders, you are not suppose to question, one becomes afraid that their ridiculous, ludicrous, assessments may hold some value. We divorced. I blamed him as I heard the internal “tape” planted there by TWI personnel about him. And in a way, while they ridiculed him they left me alone for a little bit. I blamed me for not being able to balance my “walk”, corps commitment, and a marriage to a “nice” guy. They view NICE as WEAK, ya know? If they were raving lunatics like Craig – well that was “corps material” but a nice guy? That would be bane to them. Just today. About an hour ago, I realized I destroyed that marriage because I was more afraid of TWI then I was willing to love him. I was more afraid then I had the ability to love. Here is the thing; I do have a great capacity to love. I have a huge amount of loyalty. And many, many times I was very brave when I saw TWI deteriorating. But as they said, the devil will get you with pressure or pleasure, I was taken out by pressure. The constant drip of water telling you, you do not measure up. The sound track of them hunting for devils, and finding them in me, each time I questioned leadership or refused to do something which I knew was wrong. I was more afraid of them than I was of loosing my marriage. I was more afraid of them than the man I looked into his green eyes and promised to love forever. My fear of them was bigger than my commitment to a really nice guy. He was sweet, he and I could get the giggles, and we had something sweet. I put it out there, like a sheep on a rock to be slaughtered. But not a sacrifice to God, for God would not ask me to sacrifice my marriage he would ask that I try and make it work, but worse – to an organization I had grown to fear. They spoke for God, doncha know? Today, it hit me of something else I lost in the cult. -
I worked with a woman named Bennie (that's right) and she had a chow named "Q". He kept pushing her back onto the concrete around her pool when she tried to walk on the grass. Finally he jumped forward to take on the danger as Bennie would not listen to him. Q got bitten in the face by a snake. He needed to be treated by a Vet and pulled through -- Dogs can be little angels.
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My cousin's response. She lives in Jersey.
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My friend, in the entertainment business, has a pit bull, his name is Jake. Here is her respose to the Lucas story: Chatty that would be a Vigilante.
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Here around Atlanta there was a cop whose neighbor had a pit. No fence just tied to a stake in the yard. The dog got free and mauled the cops daughter, primarily her face. The daughter lived. When she came home from the hospital, she had nightmares, she afraid to go outside as the neighbor's still had the pit, still did not have a fence, and it was still tied to a stake in the ground. The cop finally could not take it anymore, watching his daughter quiver and scream in fear. He went next door and shot the dog to death. He was fired and in some real trouble. BTW Chatty, I am not sure I understand your reference. What are you saying? I am not for Marshall law because I feel two dangerous dogs who were ripping a family pet in half should be shot. I am unsure of your reference, thank you for explaining it. I do think Marchall law will and would be awful. What is that old saying about if you sacrifice freedom for saftey you have neither. I am speaking of a neighborhood pet being ripped apart, infront of the neighbors, and the police did nothing. The pits were not wagging their tails, they were bred to attack and were doing so. They were as vicious as if an AK47 were being directed at the neighborhood. The only reason a little girl isn't dead is the bravery of that dog. Law is a funny thing, something always seems to sqeeze by that makes us think the opposite. Like Rottie's example of the dog wagging its tail and was shot, I thought cops should not be allowed to shoot pets. Now, this happens and I think cops should have shot them. It depends on the situation. Cops need to be allowed to think. But then when we let them "think" they called that one family dog vicious and shot him, when the video clearly shows there was nothing wrong with that dog. I guess our country needs a dose of ethics and integrity. Do not raise dogs to kill people, do not shoot dogs who are wagging their tails in a friendly manner, do shoot dangerous dogs ripping apart a family pet. I think much of this would end up being "done correctly" if we just had some ethics, empathy, integrity etc. But we make laws that prevent us from making judgements. In Georgia, if someone pulls a gun on you, you were required to RUN AWAY, and not allowed to shoot at them. This law allowed people to be shot in the back while fleeing. Now, we have a stand your ground law where if someone pulls a gun on you, you have a right to protect yourself and are not required to run. But wouldn't common sense have worked here if we were permitted to think? Funny, I keep hearing Andrea Crouch singing "Jesus is the Answer for the World Today...." (I was in the Jesus movement proir to TWI.) edited for typos
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Yes, I recall that. The dog was wagging his tail and being friendly. So they shhot him. These pits are ripping a pet in half and they do nothing. Go friggin' figure
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This is another close-by town. The little grocery store was held up by some "gang type" teens with a shot gun. This town was sweet and rural, it has grown in the past 10 years, now it is pocked by crime. The little citizens here bake pies for each other and say "Hey" with a wave! Now, they are all trying to move and protect their homes. http://patsabin.com/gwinnett/centerville.htm