Dot Matrix

Do they know they are false? Cause here they are trying to convince Jesus they were doing the right thing... Lord we did ll the right things.... Did they know or were they so DECEIVED that they did not know (Con men know they are pulling a con - do these guys know?) “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I NEVER KNEW YOU: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” (Matt 7:15-23)

That about covers it. Then, there is the time lost - the education I did NOT do because I did the WAY CORPS instead... All of it. Then, I get hit again with this minister idiot. I was crazy for him... Turns out I was just crazy... None of it was God's desire for me or his fault -- again, I have to own up and wear the "stupid" T-shirt. But hey, I was honest. I just get blown away when I find out the "agendas" are so self serving.

I was ashamed. I could not even look at someone in the eye for fear that could look into me and see a banner saying "Stupid girl" For me it is deeper. It reached shame. Then, when Seymore and Gloria came out to my home, they turned things around for me. And they did it by saying it was "Christ in me!!!" I felt ashamed near him as he was so smart and had done so much with his life. I was in a terrible worthless place. Somehow, when he said "IT is Christ IN you!" I got it. We all have the same measure of God -- we have his son on our insides and that makes the playing field level. It is about our "insides" not our outsides It is what God accomplished for us through Christ. If I had to rely on "me" I would never be able to look anyone in the eye again... But I know it is Christ looking back at them when they look at me.

We posted at the same time. I see what you are saying, maybe more regrets for you. I am ashamed and disgusted with myself - I really am. I am always TOO trusting: Example with the idiot Minister - The worst: After I sent him a tithe he called and asked if it was off net or gross. I said "net" he said a true tithe is off "GROSS". He was right and I sent the next one off of gross. Then, he called me and said (and this is almost verbatim) “I do not know what to do with my church. After all I did for them do you know what I get as a tithe? I got _____. I said, “ I gave you that much. The whole church only gave you that?” He said, “I am going to walk away, turn my back on them and watch them go down.” I said, “Teach on tithing.” “I did,” he said in a soft growl. “What is the problem?” “It is hard to explain.” “Do they understand your messages?” “It is just hard to explain.” Several months go by and he tells me that he is going to resign from the church, he had met with the women’s fellowship and there are some things that needed to change and they didn’t so he was resigning. Just weeks prior to all this was his long absence and one of the last things he was mad about was I questioned him on tithing cause I did not have my mortgage - I asked about "other offerings", he told me that maybe I should tithe to the local church I attended. At first I sent him nothing to see if that would have a bearing on “us”. Then, I gave him a partial tithe. He says, "I am resigning from the church." I said, “Well, you said you were going to walk away several months ago.” “I NEVER said that.” “Yes, when you said they only gave you_________ for a tithe.” I reminded him. “I never have gotten that little I get a large offering, I have NEVER had a problem with tithing in my church.” Then, all of a sudden he “quits” us. I was the CHURCH he was talking about. He had been slyly making fun of my tithe. The tithe I had to borrow from my future checks to meet my mortgage. He was so sly. I figured the “church” meeting was to have them do the newsletter and website we had done together. He used the excuse of a “prophet” telling him to bail on our project as he is a chicken s (h)it. It was ALL about money and I did not make or give enough. At one point he asked me to send him $250.00 and he could make me a millionaire. He would invest it. I said, “Are you a millionaire?” (I figured he would not be telling me this if her were.) Then, he asked me nondirectly for my social security number and I did not give it to him, he said one of our mutual acquaintances, gave me his and let me make a deposit for him.” I said, “I do not have $250.00.”

I was terribly ashamed of my wasted life, my stupid decisions, my dumb existance, I could and should have been, done and "lived" more. I was very ashamed of myself -- disgusted way more than dissappointed

Again thanks - it was very well written! The song I wrote - I cannot write music so I have to record the tune. So, the lyrics "Where am I Lord?" God I don’ know who I am or what I am to do- I ask to the sky and wait patiently on you I am spinning round the corners where darkness used to be I can’t see or hear you because I don’t feel free I am ashamed of who I am I am ashamed of who I might have been I am ashamed of how I spent my time I’m ashamed of who I let in I cannot feel my feet to order them to walk I cannot find my tongue with words to leave my mark So, I mutter to the lost in all the wind Trying to find you but find I’m giving in Who am I that I lost you? Who am I that I cry? When you have done all for me With a risen savior who did not simply die Who did not simply die Do you feel my pain Lord do you hear my voice? I am trying hard to find you I know it is my choice Tell me what to do, Lord Speak up so I can hear (you) prayin with my eyes closed crumpled on the floor Begging for direction, there’s gotta be more Life has left me flat lined looking for the door Holding onto nothing I know in Jesus there is more I am ashamed of who I am I am ashamed of who I might have been I am ashamed of how I spent my time I’m ashamed of who I let in I cannot feel my feet to order them to walk I cannot find my tongue with words to leave my mark So, I mutter to the lost in all the wind Trying to find you but find I’m giving in Who am I that I lost you? Who am I that I cry? When you have done all for me With a risen savior who did not simply die Who did not simply die - Make the locust leave me for I have been their meal Restore back to normal so that I may feel Where have you gone God? Or is it me that moved? I’m trying hard to find you, and I don’t know how to see. Reach me as you find me – Lift me off the floor I am lost and I am broken Jesus come and find me, again Jesus come and find me, again Again... Well - he reached me in all of this and God is amazing. The Lord is the love who does not change, run, hide, lie or misrepresent himself. He is the GREATEST lover of all.

That was very sweet, thank you!

:)

leafy - I see your point about the "vows" as well... It is a big question

When Swaggart did his prostitution thingy and CRIED-- Then, was caught again, I think the church was crazy to let him continue in leadership. Just like with Marion Barry of DC when he was caught buying drugs -- they re-elected him... give me a break. There should be a higher standard. I go to the Baptist church here as it feels "safer" than the pentecostal groups. One of the thing the pastor said was, "years ago there was a minister who was so in the walk and watching his step he prayed Lord, if you see that further down the line that I would be weak and cheat on my wife with come woman -- and hurt your word and your people -- please take me now. My preacher said he agreed but he changed his prayer a little... he prayed Lord, if you see that further down the line that I would be weak and cheat on my wife with come woman -- and hurt your word and your people -- please take HER now." ;) Then, should divorce and remarriage among clergy be considered sexual sin? See, I do not think so. I do not think anyone should have to stay married to the wrong person. I do not mean "a little wrong" but I mean a hateful horrible situation -- I think everyone should be allowed to make a mistake, recover, and look for happiness. But the church is HARD on "remarrying" pastors. I think each situation needs to be looked at for its problems. And ultimately, it is up to the PERSON and God. Mstar that is really interesting... Thanks Rascal and Waysider for your input as well. I would have no problem following a divorced pastor. As Bow pointed out in the 10 commandments it says not to commit adultery-- it does not say not to divorce. That to me is key on how things are looked at by God. Adultery betrays another person, divorce openly says "this is not working" I want OUT. It is not a "lie" or a "secret" then. Adultery is a lie, a secret, a betrayal... A cowardly way to have your cake and eat it to-- Just get a divorce and let the cards fall where they may....

God and I have it worked out.

Happy Birthday -X-hubby For you I hope you realize God is there for you and always has been...

Okay, perhaps all sexual misconduct which includes barter, prostitutes, adultery and rape. What do you think? I think the pentecostals have it right in this paper -- and yet if it was one time and the person repented -- well it seems like they make it unforgivable... Yet, they say they are forgiven just not placed back in office. If they repent, from sexual sin should they be back in "office"?

Thanks I removed the dream God gave me in an answer cause I do not want to share it with everyone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tnzTCWpp0k...feature=related Again!!! For you!!! For me!!!

Are they held to a higher standard? David committed adultery and murder but was restored. He kept on being "King" Yet, the office of a minister seems to be a "higher" spiritual standard than that of a king. Not to be restored to "office" but to that of a"brother" only. What do you think? http://www.spiritualabuse.org/issues/posit...estoration.html If this is so-- no wonder VP had to start his "own thing" ya know?

Raj: The lyrics Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

Thanks Waysider and twiglet We serve a great GOD.

Remember Seymour and Gloria from family corps6? The neuroligist/Psychiatrist? Brillant man!!! They are two of the most wonderful people I have EVER known. I talked to them while here, and on the phone, and this is the deliverance they helped me with: I said, "Seymour, I do not get how a person can be the most wonderful, fun, loving person in the world then change into a destructive person H (b)ell bent on destroying me." He said, "They did not go FROM GOOD to evil. The good was the bait to "get you" so that then they could emerge as "themselves" and destroy you. They were always evil they pretend to be good. They do not change.... The good was an act." ( I thought of the movie "Primal Fear" where Ed Norton was that disturbed nice guy with a secret personality of the mean-evil-cocky-guy who killed the priest. And at the end the shrink says, "so, the evil guy did not exist?" And Norton says "no, the nice guy never existed." paraphrased) I know Raj was NOT evil from birth but perhaps from the begining of our "relationship". Thus, the example has personal meaning. Then, Gloria was equally as wise as she said, "Just because this man did not LOVE you does not mean you are unlovable..." And the truth is I really did the best I could do. I was honest, kind, loving, loyal and the best I had left in me to be after the 20-year storm. I loved unconditionally. It did not go up and down with circumstances. I loved with the kind of love God gave us to love with... He didn't. And even after his "absence" I forgave him and reinstated him to his former position without hesitation. (As far as the east was from the west). So, "I" was the one doing it right. I loved regardless and there is something to be said for that even if the relationship was doomed -- as a person I succeeded. I made human mistakes but I loved with the big love... I loved regardless.... As broken as I was I still tried to be the best I could be... In this situation he was not looking for "the best". I was "sport" like men who enjoy "game hunting" and the people who use old "zoo" animals for them to hunt on a fenced in wilderness. The hunt was not a "hunt" but a disguised slaughter - the outcome was fixed and paid for. But HA HA God is bigger than all of it and HE loves me. I win!!

I do not know how to even start this. I have dribbled my life here for years. I have made friends I love and enemies I barely consider harmful anymore. But I went through a hellacious existence for the past 20 years since TWI, which had nothing to do with them. It had everything to do with me. Even in TWI, I loved God and knew those “fruit loops” were not teaching the right stuff once I got past the protective layers of well placed lies which doubled as insulation. I have healed because God loves me and because of a few well-placed “tools” such as Greasespot café which God graciously allowed to exist. After TWI, I met a guy who was rebellious, handsome and who had a kindness he displayed but it was wrapped in a lot of personal history of pain and struggle. Which he never stopped trying to defeat but never quite defeated. We divorced and as sad as it was to take all my displaced hope back from slathering it on the situations, I felt a release. Shortly after that, a man of the cloth got involved in my life. First, as a friend offering support and prayer, but then he pursued me and gave me unfettered attention the likes of which I had forgotten in the trials I had been through for the past 20 years. This is a story about THAT man. I will call him Raj Kalawatoo. He was a converted Hindu to Christianity and had worked hard in the field of ministry eventually getting his doctorate degree. This man damaged me more than TWI, my failed marriage or any other heartbreak I had ever known. And he did so by being a “dream weaver” who would then strategically destroy the very dream he created leaving one who was standing, on its well-constructed surface, to fall into vapid nothingness. I was emotionally crippled and barely at a crawl when the Lord sent an army to circle me and allow me to heal in the center of their “guard”. And a friend of a friend had heard of this man’s ministry and we met at a time when my world was bleak and the only reason I survived was because God loved me. He stepped into my life and would be the first voice I heard in the morning as he called and we would start our day. We talked at around 10:00 am then, all through my lunch, 3:00 pm, when I got home from work, around 8:00 pm then again at 11:00 to pray for the evening. He was romantic, flattering, intelligent, witty and kind. We would look things up on the Internet together, watch youtube and God tube songs, study the Bible, talk endlessly and make plans. We looked into moving to Penna. We checked out homes we prayed that God would bring us together, worked on a newsletter, a website, and he told me he loved me everyday several times a day where my X-husband had not said it in about 14 years. One day, he told me his son watched a sitcom and he just caught a portion of it. He said the guy was acting all stupid around this girl. And finally, she kissed him to have him relax and he even acted more stupid. He said, “I love you so much, I feel young and stupid around you.” He told me God brought us together – and I thought he did as we were introduced by one of the greatest examples of a Christian man I know and we were introduced so he and I could pray together. We would call each other “My 17-year-old girlfriend and my 17-year-old-boyfriend” He constantly told me he could not get enough of me. He asked me, and I told him all my dreams, aspirations, all my heart. He told me I was the love of his life. And then, like Samson, I was completely hooked. When we were doing OUR newsletter, I told him I live for this stuff and he pulled the plug right after I said it. But like Samson, I did not recognize it and he would deliberately set me up to find out an Achilles heel – then DO exactly what I said would destroy me, I would not collapse, then he’d do the next thing. I told him I could not take people "just disappearing". And after spending 8900 minutes on the phone that month he abruptly stopped calling me for 18 days without explanation. When I wrote him and told him, "I did not know what I did wrong" he did not respond. When I told him I was "falling apart and to please just call to tell me what I did wrong," he did not contact me – but all the while he ran his church, taught on Christian love, prepared classes etc. I was devastated. I wrote him a note and told him so – still nothing. Then, he called and said, “Sometimes in silence we find out who we are, what have you learned?” I told him not to give me his Indian bunch of crap. I want to know WHY he did that to me, it was not the love of God, and it was not human love it was even mean spirited for a criminal to do something so cold. He had no response except, “I wanted to see what you would do.” Like I was an experiment. Then, strange things began to happen. Such as I told him that when I was 18 years old I had a really rough time after I found my mother dead in bed. And I tried to kill myself at the age of 18-years-old. I was telling him the story of when I first spoke in tongues. I never got that far – just I attempted suicide as a mixed up teen who just lost her mother. His response, “I forgive you.” I did not ask for it or need it. I queried, “You forgive me for what? Something that happened 30 years ago?” He said, “There is nothing I will not forgive you for. You could have had sex 5 minutes ago and I would not like it, but I would forgive you. Would you forgive me if I cheated on you?" “No” I said emphatically. He said we were “cleaving” together and GLUE does not recognize problems or hardships or cheating. I said, “If we get married, which you already said we were, then Jesus recognizes it as sin. So, no.” He said, “What if the temptation was too much for me, you would throw all of this away?” I said, “No, you would have thrown it all away.” Many other things. Such as he told me he was training me to respond to his voice as Adam trained Eve. I figured it was an Indian thing so I just said, "uh-huh". Well, it turns out something was happening to me in my spirit. Later, I found that in the Muslim religion Adam trained Eve to respond to his voice and when they were cast out of the garden, they believe that Adam was on one mountain and Eve on another. Adam called to her until she was able to respond to his voice and find him. Later, he sent me telepathic messages that I DID hear and it freaked me out. How have I fallen from my Christian beliefs? I was ashamed. Another thing, I told him how it was difficult for me to read the word when I left TWI and I do better reading books on the Bible. I said I guess it is because I associate the Bible with TWI or something. He said let me teach you. So, while reading the book of Romans he would stop and say something very sexual like what he was going to do to me once we were married and would be VERY graphic. I was shocked and silent. And then excused it, as we were an “item” it was not like TWI where they did what they did. Until later, when I realized he was trying to get me to associate the book of Romans with having SEX with him. It is insidious. And yet outside of the context of the Bible he was feral in his appetites and it was stimulating to be told you were "loved wildly" and to love back without boundaries. The only thing we did right- I guess- was decide to wait until we "married" to execute our passion - if things continued the way they were heading.... He told me from the Word that you tithe to the person feeding you. And he said, “Who is feeding you?” I said, “You are.” So, I went to send my checks to his church but he said make it out directly to me. So I did. When I did not have enough to tithe he became unyielding and said, “You have to tithe God will honor it.” (He had a point) I told him I would not be able to make my mortgage payment. I was freaked, as he stood firm about me tithing to him. I had to borrow money against my next check to send him a tithe so he would not be mad at me. I did not tell him, I thought he would say I was not believing… (but if you read Dr. Sapp you will find tithing to be very different -- or better yet, talk to a Jewish person. The ones I know, do NOT tithe nor do they believe in it the way the evangelical Christian mandates) I found myself back in THE WAY so-to-speak. Except this time I was dating VP. Many things happened I do not want to reveal as they make me sound even more stupid than I already sound. I was pathetic. I was starving for kindness and a crumb fed to me by a hand that wanted to control me, by blind servitude, became better than no kindness. And I was already “hooked” addicted to his charm and lavish attention. I faithfully wore the heart necklace he sent me although I had the feeling he had sent similar ones to others “in the stable”. He swore I was the ONLY one for him. And I adored him. The fun times were so much fun and the sharing was marvelous. The tenderness and the fact that someone wanted “me” was exciting and reminded me of long ago when I felt “worth” something. Then, after we had everything ready to roll. We were going to offer classes and school online and run a ministry. He called it “our ministry” he told me a “prophet” called him and told him not to do it. To shelve the project and convinced him I was “not for him.” I told him how convenient it was that I was brought to you “by God,” as the love of your life, and now GOD is telling you to get rid of me? Why how clever; that alleviates you of ALL responsibility. We mutually broke up. He was going to get his “life straightened out” and come back for me – “as long as it was God’s will” So, if he didn’t come back this MINISTER would have me BLAME GOD? It was God's will then --- not!!! I do not think so-- He does not know me THAT well. I would never blame God. God had nothing to do with it. My vulnerability, my blindness, then willingness to distill out the weird things he said from the good, etc, is to blame. He is to blame. I am to blame. He even named his church after one of the places he and I were looking into living. He came after me, not because he thought I was attractive, smart, bold or any reason that makes sense. He came after me because I was a broken “nobody” who could not fight back and win. He has community standing, church standing, money and influential friends. I was an earthworm crawling with a savior who saw my need for resurrection again – A savior who reminded me who I was and who called me! He said, “Get up and fight!” And I did. At first I could only mouth “Jesus” then whisper, then speak but now I shout, “Thank you Jesus!” For my standing with YOU is greater than his standing in the community! The riches you provided for me are more than his wealth, my standing with the HEAD of the church – God --is far greater than his doctorate degree and “standing” in the church. My influential friends are God, Jesus and the holy spirit, he just cannot top me in any of my standings for the creator of the universe loves me and his son died to set me free. I never again have to crawl like an earthworm for anyone under any condition and HE should be proud that he knew ME and that I adored him. He lost. Psalm 140 9 Let the heads of those who surround me be covered with the trouble their lips have caused. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tnzTCWpp0k...feature=related edited for puctuation

Well, there was a back-story that was not entered into the Word. Rare text: See, Anaias used to take children from the church and “bless” them in a 4-horse coach. He actually, stole his business from the poor guy in the village who had all the great ideas and did all the research. He then belittled his wife in public, and in private, convinced young girls that they would have a special place in heaven if they would take off their pants and play diddle. Then, of course, Saphira had a thing going on with a gal named Fayne. Fayne was a noted lesbian who secretly worked as a hit woman for the King. She got Safira involved, blackmailing her into it, or Fayne was going to tell Anaias. Saphira then “off’ed Fayne” using the poison of a viper. Then, stole the deed to the land. She and her husband, Anaias, decided to ditch the land as the feds were on to them. So, they sold it, kept some of the cash, but announced before everyone how they were tithing the whole pile of it. The original story was deleted, as during the time of King Constantine, lesbian hit-women fell out of favor. The point is, I bet there is more to the story that we do not know--

I have dated, made friends and enjoyed being alone -- lots of things God has me in the repair shop for -- My story -- the musical Was me-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svxP2LjBg_4 Kelly Clarkson Behind These Hazel Eyes Oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh Seems like just yesterday You were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight Everything, it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong Now I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Swallow me then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside Anymore... Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I am a huge Daughtry fan You used to talk to me like I was the only one around. You used to lean on me like The only other choice was falling down. You used to walk with me like We had nowhere we needed to go, Nice and slow, to no place in particular. We used to have this figured out; We used to breathe without a doubt. When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see. We used to have this under control. We never thought. We used to know. At least there's you, and at least there's me. Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be? I used to reach for you when I got lost along the way. I used to listen. You always had just the right thing to say. I used to follow you. Never really cared where we would go, Fast or slow, to anywhere at all. We used to have this figured out; We used to breathe without a doubt. When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see. We used to have this under control. We never thought. We used to know. At least there's you, and at least there's me. Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be? I look around me, And I want you to be there 'Cause I miss the things that we shared. Look around you. It's empty, and you're sad 'Cause you miss the love that we had. You used to talk to me like I was the only one around, The only one around. We used to have this figured out; We used to breathe without a doubt. When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see. We used to have this under control. We never thought. We used to know. At least there's you, and at least there's me. Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah. To how it used to be. To how it used to be, yeah. To how it used to be. To how it used to be. Then, as I SAW - "Over You" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tnzTCWpp0k...feature=related Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Found that God is "home" and where I belong -- I am safe in his arms I'm staring out into the night, Trying to hide the pain. I'm going to the place where love And feeling good don't ever cost a thing. And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain. Well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. Well I'm going home. The miles are getting longer, it seems, The closer I get to you. I've not always been the best man or friend for you. But your love, it makes true. And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try. So I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. I'm going home. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, And then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, yeah. Oh, well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. I said these places and these faces are getting old, So I'm going home. I'm going home.

Rascal: I was looking to know Jesus better and I thought they led me to him. Now, after decades of reviewing the "whys" I think VP said maybe 50 things that were great (stolen but great) and I never questioned the next 150 things because the first 50 were so awesome. (Number pulled out of the air to make a point -- I do not want anyone getting anal about the number and dragging her thread down that path) One thing I have been looking into is the prophet needs to speak, the teacher to teach, and I am glad they have the guts to do it and not be so afraid to make a mistake that they do not talk. HOWEVER, there is a responsibility as a "hearer" and we neglected that. I should have NEVER become so enamored by the 50 things I liked in TWI that I stopped questioning, fighting, or accepted things that were truly unreasonable. God tells us to test the spirits, to check the fruit, take things as advice - not edicts and to use discernment-- he never said blindly follow anyone. Was I tricked? Yes. But not by God. By the a- hole who mishandled the Word and by shunning MY responsibility of being a good "hearer" I am older; more seasoned and know the Bible better now. I will not give up my discernment for anyone. No matter who it is... guess that is why he went after the young people.... When a Christian group leads you away from Jesus --- RUN!!!!

I am standing here with Dr. Seymour Leven and his gorgeous wife - Gloria. They are looking for F-6 people to talk with and catch up!!!! I am going to sign him up today. Contact me and I will forward your information at this time.

http://www.charismamag.com/jesusmovement/ Look at this! Brings back memories. I was apart of the Jesus movement around 1971, then TWI. Interesting to read this. How many of us were Jesus Freaks first?