Dot Matrix

It has been a few hours now. And I have been recalling all the wonderful times I had God work in my life. I think today, I finally pushed LOY's wrong teaching completely from my head. Nothing I can do makes me worthy of the price paid for me. Nothing I can do makes me worthy of a miracle. It is what Jesus Christ did FOR me that makes me worthy of having God's miracles in my life. And if I blow it -- and I will as a human being, God will still love me and he still has more power than evil. (Hear that Loy?) God is all powerful and loving. I needed to go over this stuff again today.

Okay here are some of mine. Now the most recent miracle of healing and answers to prayer were recorded in my Christmas letter thread. However, you asked for ?older miracles? before 1993. I will try and make them brief even though some of them had many other blessings attached. Now, some of these things are answers to prayers, I don?t know how to break out the miracles from the prayer answers ? so they are clumped. We can just call them God working in my life so we do not get into a doctrinal fight. You asked for first hand so that is why they are about what I saw, prayed for, or heard?. Recent miracles in my Christmas letter thread. Many of you were in the trenches with me as I prayed for deliverance! Thanks. Recent ? I placed the name of a friend of mine in the ?Friend? area. I had a dream where I was told to get a hold of him now; if I wanted to contact him. I acted on it and a poster here got me the address. I wrote to him and told him how much I loved, missed and was thankful for him! I got a letter back that was wonderful. Then, he died. (This is all documented here at GS). Thank God I moved on it. His letter meant the world to me. Before 1993 here are a few: I was at work with this kinda odd guy. Well, one day my car would not start so I needed a ride home. I kinda asked out loud at lunch, I think it was, and the odd guy offered to take me. Well, every time I walked by him that day he would shake. I would pass him and look back and it would stop. SO WEIRD! A girl I got into PFAL worked with me and I said to her ?watch this? when I walk by him he will shake.? So, I walked by him and saw him shake but my friend did not see him shake. (I mean Joe Cocker shake). I knew not to take the ride with him. Later, I found he had been in prison for rape. I worked on staff with Ex, and the Limb leader and others. He had not had a place booked to have a WOW conference weekend thing. He had called everywhere and was running out of places. He called us together and had us pray together for a place. While praying I saw the place. I told him exactly what it looked like including a lake. He said okay let?s call places with a lake. He found one that was open and when he went to see it ? it was exactly as I had described. We had a girl in our fellowship that had some problems. She was a masochist. She set up mirrors and would cut herself and watch herself bleed. Well, one day she was ?missing.? We prayed to find her and during the prayer I just KNEW where she was and drove there and got her. (It was not a usual hang out or anything, an odd place for her to be) On the WOW field there was a girl, Janice, who came to our twig. One day, I just felt that she was condemning herself and I asked God what I could do to help her. I sat down with her and said, ?So you got yourself pregnant and you think God doesn?t love you anymore. He still adores you.? That is what the situation was. I looked at one of my WOW?s one day and told her not to get in ANY cars that day. None. I do not care if you know them? Just please do not get in any cars. It was raining so she accepted a ride and had a criminal act committed on her. One night after twig I was driving this guy Tommy home. I did not know where he lived and he directed me out to a field. There he began to call me ?Fish? and started to yell at me and threaten me. It was freaky and I was where nobody would hear us. So, I said, ?In the name of Jesus Christ what is your name?? He said ?Raven.? I said Tommy I know you are in there fight for yourself. It said ?Tommy is not here anymore I am Raven.? I had to rebuke him and fight in a different realm to get back to safety. I have told this before but one night after twig I was running to the store to get more refreshments. I had just taught on ?Angels unaware?. Well, I started my car engines and it caught on fire. There had been a drought in Arkansas and the ground was VERY hard. I dropped to my knees to scratch up some dirt to throw on the flames to no avail. Out of the blue, a thin black man with a full length leather coat walked to the car. He removed his coat and threw it over the flames putting them out. He NEVER said a word. Greg and I were so excited and I invited him inside and kept saying thank you. Then, for a split second Greg and I took our eyes off of him and did a high five. And the man/angel vanished. He was at my car and then poof! No where for him to go. When I was in DC this weirdo was screaming from across the street how he was going to kill etc. I thought who is he speaking to? He came walking across the street ?I am going to kill you b ?ch. Blaa ? blaa? I noticed he had a broken bottle in his hand and it was up in the air like when someone thrusts it into you. Well, he was speaking to me and walked right over to me... Ut-to I said, ?In the name of Jesus Christ put that bottle down.? (Or drop that bottle!) And he did. Then, he looked at me and said, ?Boy lady, you?ve got power.? Praise God!!!! It was God's power! I will stop here. These are some of my God experiences. [This message was edited by Dot Matrix on December 29, 2003 at 9:20.]

Simon: Thanks. Yes, I am still trying to figure out what I believe in that area. So far, I am thankful that God healed me. I know he did. I hope he continues to heal my life.... But I have this fear that I am going to do something wrong and his love will stop. I KNOW this is not true, but ya know, they pushed that kinda thought at us in rez. and I guess I have not shaken it all off yet. I am trying to figure out how I feel so I can stop feeling afraid of loosing God's love and miracles. I guess when I REALLY see he LOVES me no matter what I have done or what I missed hearing or doing... Then, I will see how big his love really is and stop trying to make it into something that can stop. I do not want it to stop. But in weeding out the corps program, I see that somehow during those years, I became afraid that I would do something that would displease God so much that he would not protect me. The best I can pin point the day this WRONG teaching started was when we had the truck accident going over the mountain at LEAD and all those people were hurt. First VP came to Emporia and told us how he FELT pain all over his body when he was jolted awake so he prayed.... But then Scary a$$ Big head, loud mouth LOY got up and said (and this is pretty close because it has echoed and bothered me tremendously) "Sometimes the devil has plans and strategies that you cannot stop or prevent. HE is so powerful that he laid this plan out and there was no amount of prayer or revelation that could stop it..." I kept thinking "You shut-up! Stop saying that! You are making the devil more powerful than God. STOP!!!" But I sat there and I felt the fear that went over all of us in that room.... After that, it seemed that was the springboard to teaching about the powerful devil!!!! Even though I did not buy it, some part of me became fearful that day. I was afraid that I would do something that would give the devil more power to hurt me than God was able to stop. Just sitting in my brain I did not believe it, but down where the issues of life come from I think I did buy it. Especially, when the corps came limping home. Then when RW (the most injured) killed herself it kind of sealed it in my heart... That I could have the devil do bad things to me that God could not stop.... Mind you, I have never said this out loud or wrote it before, like this, but this thread brought up some "bad food" I ate all those years ago. So, anytime anything happened I thought the devil is after me because I did something wrong and God cannot stop it... After a car accident I became agoraphobic for a brief time as I thought, "I cannot go outside or "it'll" get me." 9 days after that accident I had to go to the Doctors and another car hit me (long story/ not my fault). Then, that same day I was driving down an exit ramp and a crazy guy was driving up the ramp!!! Nut case. So, I pulled the curtains and would not leave the house. Today, after reading your response some how I am able to see the root of all that fear... It was that day at Emporia with the big forehead screaming about the power of the devil!!! I think I am having a light bulb moment. A deliverance of sorts! WOW! (Thanks Paw for GS!!!!)

I know! I should have you and Rottie over! The funny thing is they have these potato balls that are SOOOOO good. So, I have all this meat and I keep thinking gosh, I wish there was another box of these potato ball things. (We humans are a piece of work!) BowTWI - my friend dances in the Nut Cracker. If you saw it near Philly she may have been in it.

Like the honey thing! And the nutcracker gift! Cool.

Happy Birthday M and A!!!!

Happy Birthday Frank!!!

It's okay to reference other people's work and use it! Just don't claim it was given to you from God personally via an audible promise and make up snow storms...

Hope, great poem! Ex, nice peom, didn't BG Leonard first write that? Love to all of you this Christmas season!

Isn't there a weird thing about Halloween also? Like you look in the mirror at midnight and say something three times and something happens?

We did not exchange gifts with each other or the family this year. However, my Dad sent us a huge order from Iowa beef! So, a filled freezer! Cool, huh? Oh and a couple weeks ago friends took us to elf!

M and O When did you get in and out? I saw a lot of great God things happen until I went into the corps and got too close to the crap. Then, I spent a lot of time trying to avoid the nasty mean people in the corps.

Simon Lots of #$%#&*^%$ laughs! Well, I am glad you explained it and I do see where you are coming from. And I did hear explainations such as "God made him sick to heal him" from churches. But if God is love I think that behavior is horrific. It would be like me tripping you, you falling down, then I help you up so you can talk about how great I am. That kind of thinking always bothered me in church and was one of the things I liked about TWI (back in the day when I liked it). They made me see there was a devil and he caused evil. A God of LOVE would not DO those things. I still believe that. I know different churches I have been to still think God allows the evil; to then come save us-- I have a hard time with a God like that. So, yes, I have a hard time with some of these things. IF I am in need of a miracle - did God put me in that position or did I bring it on myself, or did the evil one come around and try and hurt me? With my recent health issues, I recall the day I sliced my arm open - thinking, I shouldn't use this tool - for some reason. But I did anyway. So, I feel God tried like heck to prevent me from being in that position of hurting myself and I did not listen. That lines up more with a loving father than him causing the storm to stop the storm. I hope I am explaining myself well. You did and I appreciate what you said for I now see what you are saying in depth. And I can tell you, I have had those thoughts ramble in my mind as well. As far as the faith thing goes, the Way taught us we were to have faith/believing. (I don't have the tine to seperate it all out) But they made us responsible as if our belieivng was the key to God's heart of love. That fellow from Greece that prayed for me... The first thing he covered was FAITH. He went through this whole thing about God being responsible for our faith. HE GIVES it to us because HE loves us. Anyway, it was a long conversation that incorporated believing and faith. At the end of which I was able to stop condeming myself every time something happened to me. As if I were not believing. (The opposite is also true as when good things happen, people say "I was beliveing and this happened" as if "I" brought it to pass. That believing doctrine, to the extent TWI taught it, seemed to take God out. If I do not believe bad happens. If I do believe good happens. At least in the Jesus movement we were always praising GOD or Jesus and not ourselves) I associate that former thinking with pressure "BELIEVE or else...." We no longer have the joy of the Lord in our lives. And the joy of the Lord is our strength. Joyce Myer went into it the other day. (paraphrased) She said traffic, people at work, screaming kids or spouse is not really what the devil is trying to do. HE is after your joy. It hit me. All those wrong teachings to condemn us stole our joy. And when we lost joy we were not strong. Without that strength we can be defeated. We looked to OUR powers of believing. We replaced Jesus with Moggies and we condemned ourselves out of joy. (This is at least how I felt during my experience in TWI - mostly in the corps I felt this.) Anyway, I appreciate your answer. I hope I am not rambling but these things are roaming around my heart as well. ...still trying to articulate what I have been seeing... God is good.

M and O - Stick around my dear I enjoy your posts and understand your pain as do others here. PS Some people may be asking for PFAL material because it fetches a good penny on the EBAY. You guys that have it may want to hold onto it or KNOW the person asking. Not to say you are not sincere Anna. You may very well be sincere. Just thought it was worth a mention, I am not directing it at you but it falls in line with things being discussed.

I like the name Arlo for a dog.

"Or are we seeing them?" I am seeing them, being blessed by them and loving it. Simon - I am not sure I understand what you mean by: I am just trying to figure out if you are "blaming" people for being in a postion of needing a miracle? It hit me that way and it kinda reminded me of LOY. I know you are not like that so, I figure I am missing something here. Please explain it for the dummies like me. Thank you ;)-->

Wow, too cool Galen! I love hearing about the God stuff!

My black little peke is "Cinders" One of my little red rescued male dogs is "Ozzy" My blonde peke is "Murphy" I once was at the vet and this Little snapping biting grrr-grrr -grrr (in fast motion) grrr-grrr-grrr dog went in before us. When we went in the vet was laughing. He said "guess what the name of that dog is?" "What?" "chainsaw" I once groomed a huge old English sheepdog named "Tinkerbell." LOL An old Basset Hound name "Watson" (you could almost see the pipe and hat.)

kelvar I love this

Wow Steve! What jerks they were to you and Mrs. Steve.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Shaz I recall VPW stating that. You do not stop taking medication until it makes you sick that way you know you are healed. But up until then it was common practice to minister to people and have them toss out their medications. Where OM went had twig and was involved apparently never did anything wrong. There was no bad practices ever taught or implied. The fellowship was always sweet and you always got your needs met. On his planet, VPW never seduced, raped, or drugged woman to have sex with them. It was consentual adultery. There all money collected went for good things. VPW borrowed some points made by others and it was not plagiarism. I bet when they sang from the blue book they all burst into perfect harmony. Well gotta tell you, I am sold. If I could go to that planet I would go and live there forever. IT is like the Walgreens commercial about a place called PERFECT. What shocks me is that he ever left TWI! But even when he left he found the perfect offshhot. Congratulations OM! You win. You had the best life, the best twig, the best leaders and are now involved in the best off shoot. There is no topping your life -- I kinda wish I was experiencing all the joy you have. You have lead a blessed and a charmed life. You are fortunate... Maybe you were even a favorite in the eyes of God as so many wonderful things happen to you via TWI. Go in Peace, but first please leave us a map to PEFECT. We may want to live there. And don't give me a lecture about how if I knew the prince of Peace or something... I too have seen God's hand of love... in an imperfect world. But for the rest who did not grow up in Perfect, the experiences were differect. Whether written or implied the practices were wrong and harmful. We had a woman in our area throw out her blood pressure medicine after a guy who spent a year with the master advised her to do so. And no he never wrote it down on paper. She also died. If only she had lived in "Perfect" with your group she may still be alive. For the rest of us -- I understand what you all are saying and this was a cute light hearted thread for awhile. Dataway and Cool and Watered Gardens - I hear you! I was so "waybrained" that I visited the "motor coach" thinking I would meet the Man of God for the world.

m and O Now I see where you got your name-- I was trying to figure it out! ;)-->

Thank you Back 40.

Oh geez :D--> Fat. It is descriptive. He didn't direct it to us! Once we had an old, fat, ugly couple sit behind us, we could hear his hearing aid whistle! Err, once we had an unattractive, heavy set, couple over 60 sit behind us.... :)--> Love to all....