satori001

I think you should go, as long as you enjoy it. I wouldn't offer questions to challenge them, but I would press them to explain everything they told me in the clearest terms, so I fully understood. If you feel confused, it's not you. What they are telling you is confusing. They were confused once too, until they (like us here) eventually just accepted explanations at face-value and finally forgot to make any sense of it. That is The Way's version of "believing." It's persuasion by attrition. Too often, when I began with the Way fellowships, I'd ask questions which would be put off with, "That is answered in the class." Well, it wasn't. Eventually, I didn't need to ask any more. You sort of move on to more pressing things, like putting classes together. If you're a perceptive and discerning person, you may begin to wonder why the holy scriptures of a living, "breathing," present God requires such a methodical and formulaic approach. You may begin to wonder if The Way's methods and formulas are the only good ones out there. (Rules for "biblical interpretion:" in the verse, in the context, where used before, scriptural pile up, etc) You may discover that those methods and formulas are even more important (to The Way) than the scriptures themselves, because only they can inform us what the scriptures mean. And who came up with those formulas, and their very specific applications? The Way did. They lead you to believe the formulas and methods are biblical, offering EXAMPLES of passages where the formulas appear to work. (Suppose you wore blue one day and green the next, and I said it was proof you always wore blue, followed by green. Wouldn't that be foolish?) It's illogical and unscholastic at best, but in real terms, it's pretty deceitful. It's how they try to corner the market (and I do mean "market") on the interpretation of the bible. Whoever makes the rules wins the game. The Way knows this very well. If church is something you want for your life, keep looking around. Invite your friend along. Bottom line, if you want to "belong" to a group like The Way, you will need to accept things you know are not true. It's easier than you might think. They will help you forget all about it. Regards...

Who could forget "I'm king of the world!"

Yes, don't be any stranger!

http://www.chem1.com/CQ/oxyscams.html

These appear to be things NOT to do, if you want to be unhappy. They are from brainplace.com, which came up on another thread. What are the penguins? -- Prescriptions For Healing The Brain Prefrontal Cortex Prescriptions Rx #1: Clear focus on how you want to live. Rx #2: Focus on the penguins in your life, notice the behavior of others you like (Fat Freddy) Rx #3: Have meaning, purpose, stimulation and excitement in your life to prevent shut down Rx #4: Medications include stimulants, such as Ritalin, Cylert, Adderall, Desoxyn or Dexedrine Cingulate Prescriptions Rx #1: Notice when you're stuck, distract yourself and come back to the problem later Rx #2: Don't try to convince someone else who is stuck, take a break and come back to them later Rx #3: Write out options and solutions when you feel stuck Rx #4: Seek the counsel of others when you feel stuck (often just talking about feeling stuck will open new options for you) Rx #5: Medications include Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor, Anafranil, Luvox, Serzone Temporal Lobe Prescriptions Rx #1: Strive for wonderful experiences Rx #2: Improve your ability to use words Rx #4: Sing whenever you can Rx #5: Listen to lots of music Rx #6: Move in rhythms Rx #7: Medications include Depakote, Tegretol, Neurontin, Dilantin and other anticonvulsants Limbic Prescriptions Rx #1: Every thought matters! Kill the ANTs in your mind. Rx #2: Surround yourself with people who provide positive bonding Rx #3: Great smells. Rx #4: Philippians 4:8 "Finally, bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things." Rx #5: Medications include Norpramin, Tofranil, Wellbutrin and other antidepressants Summary of ANT Types: -- All or nothing thinking: thoughts are all good or all bad. -- Always thinking: using words like always, never, every one, every time. -- Focusing on the negative: only seeing bad in situation. -- Fortune telling: predicting the worst possible outcome. -- Mind reading: thinking you know what another person is thinking. -- Thinking with feelings: believing negative feelings without questioning them. -- Guilt beatings: should, must, ought or have to. -- Labeling: attaching negative labels. -- Blame: blaming someone else for your problems. Basal Ganglia Prescriptions Rx #1: Understand the patterns and triggers from the past. Do an autobiography. Rx #2: Break the patterns of the past with conscious reprogramming (self-hypnosis, affirmations, clear focus) Rx #3: Predict the best. Kill the Fortune Telling ANTs Rx #4: Daily relaxation, biofeedback, meditation and diaphragmatic breathing Rx #5: The 18/40/60 Rule Rx #6: Medications include Buspar, Xanax, Ativan and other antianxiety agents. Conclusion: Your brain matters!

Here's another list from the same site: Affirmations for Unhappiness. Take each affirmation on its own merits. Some will make you unhappier than others I think. This is a pretty long list, but feel free to contribute anything you feel is missing. -- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. I am at one with my duality. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!" False hope is better than no hope at all. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents or children. To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they're a mile away and barefoot.

This is copied from a website: http://www.drirene.com/be_unhappy.htm Here is a list of suggestions for living an unhappy life. Some of them look very practical at the first glance, so I thought I'd share them. Enjoy! The names/initials following the suggestions credit the contributors. I don't know them. --- Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them. Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first. Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything. Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection. Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness. Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives. Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery. Take personally everything that happens to you. Don't give yourself wholeheartedly to anyone or anything. Get rid of your sense of humor. Life is very serious and you should take yourself seriously. (Gail) Two words: self-pity and lots of it. The whole world is definitely against you. (Gail) Cultivate bad, addictive habits in yourself. Drink a lot. Smoke a lot. Eat a lot. (Gail) Go silent whenever someone sparks up a conversation that you don't know about. Make sure to fidget, squirm, roll your eyes and bite your nails to the quick. Quickly change the subject at the first opportunity. (Nancy A Cara Sager) Always build yourself up at the expense of others. Say things like "I could've told you that." (Nancy A Cara Sager) You have the power to change other human beings. (Tammy McQuillan) All people other than yourself are broken and You can fix them since you have Godly power. (Tammy McQuillan) You can fix another person, but you can't do squat about yourself. (Tammy McQuillan) Become irresistibly attracted to people who will never be there for you, on any level, ever.... (Sarah) Never say "I'm sorry." (Nancy A Cara Sager) Make sure you take things people say to you as an insult, and let them know it - especially if you know they didn't mean it that way! (A. M. W.). Ask for help from somebody who is unsuccessful 4 weeks before the most important exam of your life and then believe them when they say, "Nobody ever passes that exam" (PGM) Remember every little wrong that has ever been done to you, real or imagined. Gather those bad feelings & put them in a bag - it will be a large and heavy package. Then drag that bag behind you everywhere you go for the rest of your life. It is your ticket to unhappiness and your proof of how right you are about everything! (TC) Scrutinize your partner's path with God and tell them what you see that they are doing wrong. After all, God talks to you, therefore you know what is best for others where God is concerned. (Viv) Make sure you vocalize your unhappiness to your loved ones, every day! Share the wealth, take them with you! (Viv) Say mean, hateful things about other people when they aren't around, but be nice to them when they are. Be sure no one except your partner hears the words you speak. (Viv) Tell your partner how much you can't wait to get rid of them and remove them from your life. The next day, tell that same person how much you love them and how lucky you feel having being able to share your life with them. (Viv) Yell, scream, and belittle your partner until they cry. Then smugly proclaim what a baby they are. (Tami) Surround yourself with misogynistic alcoholics who cannot maintain a relationship. (Brigette C. Pepe) "Don't ever let yourself feel pain or fear or sorrow. Instead, turn it instantly into anger, and then make sure to let your partner see that anger." (M.T.) "Always remember that if your partner loves you, he or she can read your mind. There is never a need to share openly with them how you feel." (M.T.) "Keep careful track of everything you do for your partner, and vice-versa. Remember, the person with the highest score loves the other the most. Be sure to keep your partner appraised of the score - especially when you are ahead." (M.T.) "Believe every single negative thing anyone ever says about you. Forget about anything positive - they were obviously wrong!" (M.T.) "Don't waste your time trying to better yourself. People that love you will obviously put up with anything you want to do. Instead, work diligently to change others - that is much more fun." (M.T.) "Admitting you have a problem is the first, and a huge, step towards recovery. Be proud that you have the wonderful insight and honesty to admit you have a problem and stop right there. That should be plenty of work for anyone!" (M.T.) "Surround yourself with only people that agree with everything you say. The last thing you need is contradictory opinions!" (M.T.) "Don't think about your own flaws much at all - this only causes problems. After all, ignorance is bliss." (M.T.) "Dwell on your flaws all the time. Never miss a chance to remind yourself that you are an imperfect person." (M.T.) "Remember, home is where you can let your hair down and relax. No need to be polite and put your best foot forward at home. Save your best for the outside world." (M.T.) M.T writes: That only took a few minutes! That can't be good! ha ha Too bad that spotting negative behavior is oh so much easier than ridding oneself of it. Thanks MT! Dr. I Refuse to be responsible. Let others, especially your wealthy parents, support you financially. That way it doesn't matter if you can't hold a job, can't get a credit card, can't get a checking account or can't balance a checkbook if you do somehow get one! (Marji) Go to work, and make up horrible things about your partner. When they give you advice on your lies, believe it. Pattern your behavior around it. Sunshine :o) Get advice on your relationship from a family member who has repeatedly abused and abandoned you in the past. Sunshine :o) Get angry when you are worried about your partner leaving, and then yell, scream, accuse and abuse them so they know how much they mean to you. Sunshine :o) Go to jail for domestic violence on your Anniversary, Thanksgiving and Christmas in the same year, and then tell everyone how much YOU hate holidays. Sunshine :o) :) Stop yelling and being angry all the time, because your wife is wise to it and has learned how to stop it. Instead, sigh and moan and groan constantly when near her so she can't help but notice you now that you're being such a great guy. (Debi G.) Make sure to put your wife into no win situations often, especially in front of the kids. That way, no matter how she acts or reacts, she will look bad. As a result, you look like the good guy. (Debi G.) Spend as much time working as possible, since those are the people who admire you the most. Then, when you're home, remind your family about how loved you are at work. Remind them frequently that something must be wrong with all of them--everyone at work thinks you're the best. (Debi G.) Tell your kids often how they could be the best athlete, best student, best everything if they would just work out, or study, or do everything just like you. And when they don't do as you advise them, tell them what losers they are and will be. (Debi G.) If you get angry about something be sure not to talk about the problem and to clear it up. Instead be vague and insist that there is no point in discussing it as it has been discussed a million times before but carry on about it and make sure it remains a problem. (a) Remember you are perfect. It is always the other person’s fault. (a) Abuse with an Excuse: "I Did It Because I Love You". (Wendy Russell) Always remember...when expressing sorrow for having hurt the one you love...do so by also explaining that had it NOT been for THEM...you COULD never...you WOULD never have committed such a horrendous act. Frequent use of this method will not only guarantee your unhappiness as before long.....your spouse will start to respond! Indeed! Misery loves company so use this one to your advantage. Soon.....no one will find reason to smile! :o) or is that :o( (Wendy Russell) Always remember...words without actions are meaningless, therefore...strive to ensure continued contradictions between the two. An increased state of confusion also increases the chances of UNhappiness. It may take some time but nothing worth having comes withOUT a price! (Wendy Russell) If your spouse repeatedly attempts to explain the she's feeling alone, neglected, frightened, abandoned, ignored or dismissed entirely...take a few moments to demonstrate how much you REALLY care by either: nodding your head, walking away, grunting or MY personal favourite, by falling asleep. If she responds with anger and frustration or God forbid, she indicates that she's feeling deeply hurt.......express further concern by acknowledging that she clearly needs SOMEone to talk to. If you truly love her, offer to find her a good therapist. If after years of dealing with her constant expectations, her continued demands that if nothing else she deserves even a little respect...leave her...she's a b&%ch! (Sorry Dr. I. - Couldn't resist) (Wendy Russell) Always remember...you can repeat the SAME promise over and over and over again but ONLY if you continually break the initial promise. If confronted with this dilemma...never forget...it's not YOUR fault that someone ELSE'S behaviour compels YOU to act in ways that constantly force YOU to apologize. This one is fun as it allows you...the one who repeatedly breaks promises...to demonstrate not only how intelligent you are but how incredibly righteous you are as well. WOW! You DO have a purpose!!! (Wendy Russell) " Be an emotional martyr! Wear a fake smile and never need help from anyone! That way you can feel justifiably angry when people think that you never experience any 'real problems'. Then one fine day, when you feel ready to spread your vitriol, unload your tales of woe on somebody who looks too happy for you to take. This works best when you have no intention of dealing with what ails you." (MB) " 'It's not my fault. If only...' If only everybody did what you wanted, you would not be in such misery, so blame everybody else, blame everything else, blame it on Rio, the full moon, whatever, but it is not your fault. You are not accountable to anyone, not even yourself!" (MB) "Resentment is a dish best served hot, swimming in a rich sauce of self-pity." (MB) "Make this your mantra: Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, the world is against me! Say it enough, and you'll be darned if it weren't true!" (MB) "Be inconsistent and unpredictable in your affection toward your spouse. They may never know if you truly love them, but at least they can't say you are boring." (MB) Make everyone feel guilty for not giving you enough attention and praise. Make your wife feel guilty for not constantly noticing you and admiring you. Make your kids feel guilty for not saying "thank you" when you do things with them. Let everyone know how lucky they are that you are in their presence. If you're not entirely sure of the facts, make them up. Never, EVER user the phrase "I don't know." It is far more important to SOUND like an expert than actually to BE one. (RDA) Scr** the other guy before he can scr** you. (RDA) When your partner walks into the room looking great and gleaming, withhold all compliments and affection. Keep a stern expression and yell out a string of commands like: "Put your cup in the sink!", "Get that book off the TV.!", "Stop the dog from scratching!", "Hurry up! We're late!", "Get your keys; you're driving!" (Bertha W.) When you come home to the house beautifully clean and your wife obviously worked all day on it, and the wife greets you with a smile and dressed pretty, make sure you tell here that she didn't wipe down the light switches. (Bertha W.) Have your wife always serve your dinner to you, and run constant errands for you like getting tools, or finding socks. THE FOLLOWING IS A CRUCIAL PART TO THE PLAN: Never wait on her. If she asks for you to make her a cup of tea tell, her she doesn't need it. Then when she refuses to wait on you until you reciprocate, make your own dinner. NOTE: be sure to put on a big pathetic show of your actions while preparing you food. But never give in to her demands. Your are the only one deserving of being waited on hand and foot. She is incapable of earning that right. (Bertha W.) Never work on your marriage, then blame your wife when she's had enough and seeks a divorce. (NW) Insult your wife in front of the kids, then tell everyone and anyone who'll listen that she's trying to turn the kids against you. (NW) Ignore your wife and then tell her that the relationship problems are all her fault because you aren't getting on. (NW) Be nice to your wife only when you want something: money, sex help with your problems. As soon as you get what you want, go back to being nasty and cold towards her. (NW) Constantly accuse her of cheating, then go join a couple of dating agencies so you can have her replacement ready when the relationship ends. (NW) Make promises to take your wife out and do things together, then don't bother; the excuse being lack of money, no time, forgot.......place your own reasons here. (NW) Throw tantrums when your wife refuses to go with you anywhere as the only reason you would have to invite her out in the first place is so that she can sit in the car where you can see her. (NW) Isolate her from friends and family and when she complains that you two haven't spoken in months, tell her you're too busy working whilst what you're really doing is surfing. This way you remain in control of her time and yours. (NW) True Story: Keep your partner at bay - quoting, "I need space and although you don't understand it, it's the only way I know how to deal with my worries. Furthermore, I can't be around anyone now; that drains me, so your feelings are unimportant." Nevertheless, after 7 months of mixed messages of "Is there hope?" ,"Is there some reconciliation?", after calling you and asking you for a favor, when he ready to discuss "us", he shouted out, "You're jealous, too emotional, and I 'm having sex with someone else." There's one for you . ™

Wow, are you people spoiled rotten. What did the Word cost you, anyway? These believers give you their best love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation for our day and our time and in alignment and accordance with the present truth - and you expect sincerity too? Sincerity is a trick of the adversary, people. If you can't switch your love on and off like a Walmart Christmas tree, you're being ruled by your emotions. Come back the Way, before it's too late. Sincerity is no guarantee for the truth. You must synchronize your heart to the revealed Word, as exemplified and illuminated by our ministry, in the renewed mind believer lifestyle, according to the best practices of right doctrine, reproof and correction, with spiritual acuity, casting down the five-senses idols of logic and emotion and walking with the manifested power of the spirit, exemplifying and illuminating the doctrinal perfection of the revealed Word and Will of God, according to the keys and principles made known for the first time since the first time since the first century and the last time before the second coming, and the best time since God told Dr. that if he would teach the Word to this generation the Church would rise and expand and multiply and divide and conquer and prevail and so on and so on. Renew your minds, people.

We're not stoning Wierwille, ex70s. We're celebrating his legacy, such as it is.

No. I don't. Seth is right. The title of this thread isn't exactly a news flash. I also object to "like the rest of us." Wierwille would have had to crawl up and out from under some seriously subterranean rock to be like the rest of us, on average. Don't know if he had razor brain though. socks can speak to that.

Do they really have razors in their brains?

Uh, if you don't remember Santa Claus the diagnosis may be ADD.

Matilda, Keep the joy real and don't read below the line until December 4th. _______________________________ If you are reading below the above line, and you have any integrity, it is now December 4th. Happy birthday!

Paw, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.

Torrid sex scenes will be especially entertaining. One CNN reviewer called it "a date movie for everyone," since the sex scenes include both hetero and homosexual varieties. Yes, Alexander swings his sword both ways.

I think the 3D experience would have provided depth to the visuals, not, unfortunately, to the story. laleo, I also think seeing it with children would add some vicarious enjoyment. Kids may spoil that pleasure by trying to make sense of the plot afterward, asking the unanswerable. But it is "dazzling, sappy, touching, superficial," and then some. Raf, if you like stereotypes and cliches, The Polar Express is for you.

I knew it was a kid's movie, but because Hanks is in it, and because it's been hailed as a new "classic" by so many critics, I saw it last weekend. Sorry, it's crap. The cartoonized effect was interesting, and the "special effects" overall were good, but the story could have been written on a candy wrapper.

I'm trying to imagine what his thoughts might be. He's a "heavy" at Wayworld, a heavy among heavies really. God knows, the Corps filled its ranks with self-important little mog-bots poised to strike at the first sign of believer weakness, with a "retemorized" litany of spiritual transgressions crafted to wither and demoralize the most recalcitrant believer (hopefully). But the ranks of heavy mog-bots part like the Red Sea for the gravest and seriousest of the heavies - the ones who carry side-arms in His service - God's own bodyguards. The heavy of heavies doesn't have time for loving "cop-outs" who live to kick the TWI masters who fill his trough. "Let Jesus love 'em," he (probably) says. "My job is to neutralize the Adversary, and every one of his furry, little ex-Wayfer disciples." He fingers the trigger of his Beretta, and then quickly pulls his hand away. "Thank you God for not letting me shoot myself in the balls," he says quickly, and wipes his brow. "And thank you for removing your hedge of protection from the Greasespot Cafe." He clicks the "About The Way" Forum, and with much speaking in tongues, reads the next thread, taking notes, noting clues, cross-referencing into the night... "I see my name here - a trick of the Adversary! GET THEE BEHIND ME!!" He suddenly pulls his hand away, again from cold steel, again sighing with relief. Night after night.

Thanks. It's the mechanical clicking noise I want to lose. I don't like touch pads because they don't give you a comfortable rest for your hand. I don't like track balls because a mouse gives me more control. The noise is negligible during the day but at night, when others are sleeping in a quiet house, and when there is no other extraneous noise, it is irritatingly loud. There is software which interprets certain mouse motions as clicks, but I haven't tried it yet, and it's one more program running in the background to screw things up in unimaginable ways. ex, thanks for the link. I had already read that in my "search," and it was reassuring that I'm not alone. Steve seconds.

Thanks. I want a silent mouse.

Not a nighttime option.

I want a quiet mouse. I never notice during the day, but at night the damn thing sounds like a screwdriver tapping on a snare drum. Way more feedback than I need, and my computer doesn't have ears, so the clicking doesn't make it go any faster. My keyboard could be quieter too, but it's bearable. My internet search (last 5 minutes) have proven fruitless. Any suggestions? Anyone have a mouse that's as "quiet as a mouse?" In other words, virtually silent.

You forgot Hollywood's token, homeless black guy, who diagnosed the problem before anybody else knew there was one. "They be messin' wit da weather, pollutin' an' such." (Paraphrased.)I just rented the DVD. I'm not even gonna bother ripping it (heh heh). It's like a teen scare'em movie, but much less "believable." Each scene is worse than the last. The acting is competing with the direction, each trying to be lousier than the other. I remember the reviews being fairly positive on this one. It must be the global warming message that got on their good side. Whadda stinker! Not even worth renting, although the special effects are pretty cool.

Here's a thought. Living with the wounds of our own mistakes, not the consequences, but the pain of their memories, may be a result of failing to complete the grieving process. After all, a mistake is a "loss." Sometimes a terrible loss. We may even "die" in some partial way, or even just wish we had. The result of each such experience is an unresolved grief, which must heal if we are to "move on." What is the "grieving process?" It's been brought up many times on GS & WD, but here it is again, from http://www.uiowa.edu/~ucs/griefloss.html for review: Coping with Death, Grief, and Loss What is Grief? Grief occurs in response to the loss of someone or something. The loss may involve a loved one, a job, or possibly a role (student entering the workplace or employee entering retirement). Anyone can experience grief and loss. It can be sudden or expected; however, individuals are unique in how they experience this event. Grief, itself, is a normal and natural response to loss. There are a variety of ways that individuals respond to loss. Some are healthy coping mechanisms and some may hinder the grieving process. It is important to realize that acknowledging the grief promotes the healing process. Time and support facilitate the grieving process, allowing an opportunity to appropriately mourn this loss. Common Reactions to Loss: Individuals experiencing grief from a loss may choose a variety of ways of expressing it. No two people will respond to the same loss in the same way. It is important to note that phases of grief exist; however, they do not depict a specific way to respond to loss. Rather, stages of grief reflect a variety of reactions that may surface as an individual makes sense of how this loss affects them. Experiencing and accepting all feelings remains an important part of the healing process. Denial, numbness, and shock This serves to protect the individual from experiencing the intensity of the loss. Numbness is a normal reaction to an immediate loss and should not be confused with "lack of caring". Denial and disbelief will diminish as the individual slowly acknowledges the impact of this loss and accompanying feelings. Bargaining At times, individuals may ruminate about what could have been done to prevent the loss. Individuals can become preoccupied about ways that things could have been better, imagining all the things that will never be. This reaction can provide insight into the impact of the loss; however, if not properly resolved, intense feelings of remorse or guilt may hinder the healing process. Depression After recognizing the true extent of the loss, some individuals may experience depressive symptoms. Sleep and appetite disturbance, lack of energy and concentration, and crying spells are some typical symptoms. Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, isolation, and self-pity can also surface during this phase, contributing to this reactive depression. For many, this phase must be experienced in order to begin reorganizing one’s life. Anger This reaction usually occurs when an individual feels helpless and powerless. Anger may result from feeling abandoned, occurring in cases of loss through death. Feelings of resentment may occur toward one’s higher power or toward life in general for the injustice of this loss. After an individual acknowledges anger, guilt may surface due to expressing these negative feelings. Again, these feelings are natural and should be honored to resolve the grief. Acceptance Time allows the individual an opportunity to resolve the range of feelings that surface. The grieving process supports the individual. That is, healing occurs when the loss becomes integrated into the individual’s set of life experiences. Individuals may return to some of the earlier feelings throughout one’s lifetime. There is no time limit to the grieving process. Each individual should define one’s own healing process. Factors that may hinder the healing process: Avoidance or minimization of one’s emotions. Use of alcohol or drugs to self-medicate. Use of work (overfunction at workplace) to avoid feelings. Guidelines that may help resolve grief Allow time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to self. Acknowledge and accept all feelings, both positive and negative. Use a journal to document the healing process. Confide in a trusted individual; tell the story of the loss. Express feelings openly. Crying offers a release. Identify any unfinished business and try to come to a resolution. Bereavement groups provide an opportunity to share grief with others who have experienced similar loss. If the healing process becomes too overwhelming, seek professional help.

mj, we all have "strategies" for lifting the burden of guilt after screwing up. They may approximate forgiveness but they come with their own baggage.Your example is a good one. You said "move on you're an idiot..." A lot of us use the stupid stick. We do penance for our errors, by punishing ourselves and then moving on. Often part of the penance involves self-degradation, or humiliation. Rather than truly forgiving ourselves, and releasing the guilt, we pay for our specific "sins" with a less painful sense of general unworthiness. This gets others off our backs, because we steal their thunder. They can't enjoy calling you an idiot as much if you just have. But have you really forgiven yourself and released your guilt? Or have you just assimilated a specific guilt into a non-specific "sin consciousness" where it will continue to weigh you down?