penworks

I love his web site, agree he's a very talented writer, and have been in communication with him, also. It's great to see the support he has here on GSC!

Belle - It took courage to do what most of us here did: break off the association with an influence that was not good for us. It was a huge upheaval and took its toll in many ways, depending on our individual constitutions. Currently, I'm reading a book called Battle for the Mind - A Physiology of Conversion and Brain-Washing (How Evangelists, Psychiatrists, Politicians, and Medicine Men can change your beliefs and behavior by William Sargant. This, along with MANY other such books and information about fundamentalism, etc. have helped me understand the complex nature of what we were involved with and how leaving it affects us. Trust yourself. You very likely did the best you could given the circumstances...remember no one can perfectly navigate difficult situations. It's Thanksgiving...have an extra slice of pie and a good belly laugh. Both are good medicine for the soul. Cheers!

Does anyone know whether Bernita Jess is still living? If so, how can she be reached? Jim Jess, her son, is a Corps grad, I'm not sure about Sharon, her daughter.

Thanks very much!

I'd like to find Jeff Schmidt (I think that's spelled correctly). He was a counselor at Childrens Camp around 1985 I think. He later married a woman named Joan. Are you here, Jeff? Does anyone know how to reach him?

I hope to find Mike and Arlene Westphal from Florida. They entered the Family Corps in either 1986 or 1987 but I don't know if they graduated or stayed with TWI or what. They had about 4 children then. I was in Florida in the 80s when they were there and would like to contact them.

Ray and/or Fran, if you're here, please PM me. I used to live in your area of Florida. I left TWI 20 years ago. Hope you are OK.

I appreciate the validation and insights from so many other people here! If I write just one thing on this site that is helpful to anyone, it's worth my time and effort here. When I left TWI in 1987 I felt VERY alone. I WAS very alone. Only a handful of others I knew would still talk to me, and that was because they'd left then, too. But we were scattered across the country. So I turned to education and journaling to help me recover my former identity. That process continues to this day. To have been told "just get over it" when I left TWI would have done a great disservice to me because I would have felt my voice was once again silenced. I would also have missed the adventure of studying my life for its lessons. It took a long time to process 17 years of a highly complex experience...I believe I'm still processing parts of it even now, 20 years later. I do want to stress that what I write at GSC is my opinion ONLY and my reflections on my experiences. Nothing I say is intended to slander or libel anyone or slam anyone's beliefs. I distinguish between beliefs and the process by which a person is made to accept them. [more on that topic is found in Steve Hassen's book] Just my 2 cents...

I don't remember which class I heard that in, only that I heard it numerous times from VP and others (and I probably taught it myself at some point) during my 17 years involvement. IMO, this phrase is akin to "You have no friends when it comes to The Word." To me it meant I couldn't count on my feelings to be anything of value, especially in decision making or trying to make friends. I understand what you mean about how the phrase may appear to an "outsider" to be "good" but I think they would need to 1) believe that a person could accurately apply verses (usually out of context) to any given situation 2) that gut feelings or intuitions or whatever you might call them are not important and don't carry weight in decision making. IMO, for my life in TWI, there were many times I should have followed how I felt about something rather than sticking a "positive" verse in my mind or doing what VP said because I believed he was walking with God. Since I accepted the claim that TWI was THE ministry for this day and time, I interpreted my whole life in those terms, whereas had I opened my mind, I could've had a more inclusive attitude towards others (understatement). For instance, VPW's teaching about turning your back on believers who reject the truth (what he was really referring to IMO was his interpretation of the Bible) meant I should cut off any communication with people who didn't get involved in or left TWI, while in my "gut" I felt I wanted to get their side of the story, not shun them. In such a case, my feelings didn't matter, only the Word as defined by VPW did. This phrase also cultivated the attitude in me that my opinions didn't matter, only what the Bible said or what VP said or another leader in "charge of" me said. Maybe it was just me, but I suspect others experienced this, too. More directly on topic now, I'll say that I caution myself against telling others what to do like "get over it" since I'm far from being a trained psychologist or counselor. We're all on a very unique path and need different things. In checking out books like "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassen, I did find a section on Emotional Control, pg. 63, 64 that is helpful, "In order to control someone through his or her emotions, feelings often have to be redefined." WOW! In order to deny my feelings of wanting to talk with people who didn't believe as I did, I had to convince myself I was doing the right thing according to TWI teachings no matter how I felt. I learned not to trust my emotions. Thankfully, I've undone that indoctrination, but it took awhile to relearn to feel.

Very well put, Rascal! Yes, it was drilled into us that "feelings come and go, but the Word of God liveth and abideth forever" which IMO means that I had to turn off genuine, human responses which for the most part were appropriate, and turn on the switch that recited a Bible verse to "control" my mind with, thereby negating the emotion. This bred confusion, frustration, coldness, and arrogance. I regret very much having succumbed to that. Thankfully, a person can change that way of being. Thankfully, simple kindness and patience with oneself and others mends the soul...it did mine.

Enjoy your day, Belle. And remember: A joy that's shared is a joy made double. Thanks for sharing your joy so often at GSC.

Depends on how you define "spiritual stuff," but viewed through my idealistic rose colored glasses, I thought I was learning how to listen to God (which would be in the spiritual catagory) so I got very sidetracked with thinking God was telling me to do certain things, like who to marry, etc. Saying he got revelation was VPW's method of explaining away his behavior, which to our "five senses" might seem bizarre or mean at times. VP would use that to justify everything from firing leaders on the field who didn't agree with him, to making us clear the fields of rocks so more lawns could grow, etc. He'd always say, "The Father told me to...." How do you argue with that? Like someone once said, "It's like trying to argue with the communists...they always have an answer." At the time, my impression was that this was a spiritual way to live. YIKES! I had absolutley no frame of reference other than comparing spirituality to the way the Sisters of Mercy (ha!) conducted their lives around me when I was in Catholic school. And I for sure didn't want to wind up like them!

Wordwolf's "take" is very good. I was in the 2nd Corps in 1971-73 and VPW was at HQ with us most of the time. Thankfully I missed out on the motorcoach, but we did meet in the Fireplace room in VP's home many times when he'd sit and talk about the problems in the ministry, appeal to our sympathy, and drink drambouie. We also met outside under the trees by his house, sitting on blankets etc. for teachings. The back of the BRC was an informal meeting place, also, as was the dining room, of course, when he'd sit up on the back of his chair and liken his ministry to Paul's. As we all know, the idea was we'd learn his "heart" on how to run the ministry, live the Word, and work like dogs. The book, "The Way: Living in Love" captures a lot of that closed-in atmosphere, only in a pollyanna way - totally idealistic and white-washed propaganda. What appealed to me (at 19 years old) was the claim that I could learn more of The Word through the Corps experience than anywhere else because I'd learn directly from the man of God for the world! WOW! Starving for "answers," you couldn't keep me out! BTW - the Corps principles were not published until after we were in the Corps. AFTER we were already in the program we found out that Dr. would assign us to wherever he wanted us to go as leaders and workers after graduation. Surprise! But by the time we got that news, I was so idoctrinated that I simply accepted that fate. This was God's ministry, after all...:-)

Hi Linda Z - happy birthday! Enjoy!

Ohmygod! Your story, your life just hit me like a ton of bricks. Some days I just weep when I come here and find stories like yours and I continue to weep all day long, it seems. But I am thrilled you have landed on your strong feet and are creating such a wonderful new life as an artist! Again, I'm so sorry for the awful treatment you endured. Believe me, you are not alone, if that makes you feel any better. Keep on creating and teaching art! You go, girl! Much love to you, penworks

Howie, Please check your email for an important message. Thanks!

Thanks so much for providing this link. What a fabulous site he has! I remember him, too. The pen is mightier than the sword.

Just sending my happy birthday greetings along to you, too. Enjoy your day!

Success. Thanks everyone for your help!

I found her and we're having a great reunion!

Thanks, Linda Z. I've tried sending him an email from his profile so we'll see if that works...

Thanks!

Oakspear - who is "the family tables guy?"

Dave, I've been trying to find you so sent you a PM. Did you change your email address? You can contact me at cooees-91643. I'm curious about HQ in 1971.

I appreciate the tips!