bowtwi

I am overwhelmed by all the responses to my post. Extremely thankful and humbled, but overwhelmed. I apologize for stirring up all that anger on one hand, yet appreciate it on the other (maybe the Gemini in me? tee hee). Each response feels like those great hugs we used to share. I remember those brotherly & sisterly hugs & kisses and how wonderful it felt to know that we knew that we were all God's kids and that HE was smiling as he looked at us. I remember being in that "top security - prove you're spritually mature enough to be here by showing you wear the proper nametag" meeting that lcm called that night at ROA '94. He went so far about homos that I started to wonder about his past too. I never spoke the words out loud, but considered that he must have had homosexual thoughts or actions somewhere along the line that he was ashamed of. At the very least, I was embarrassed that "our" MOG was taking such a stand. After all, homos were people too, and wasn't it most effective to love people into doing the Word? I remember wincing countless times during the SNS teachings when he went on and on attacking homos. We were in Santa Fe, of all places - trying to show people the love of God! RB - if you and your wife are who I think you are, hearing you're out is worth what it took to write all that. It sends shivers up and down my spine to think that you wonderful, wonderful people had to endure M&A by that same person. If he looked at you or spoke to either of you the way he did me - it makes me weak in my stomach to even consider it. I have heard that he is out and does apologize to whomever he can. Personally, I don't think it would help ME any - maybe it would benefit him. I'd just as soon never see or even hear his voice again. I admire the folks that have sued twi. I don't see myself even looking into any action I might be legally entitled to take. Besides, I believe that the best revenge really IS living well. And I'm living well. I just don't want to be behind certain people when they stand at the bema. I feel sure that once born again - always born again, so I think lcm will stand before God one day. Once upon a time I would have liked to see him get his rewards. Now it would be the adult equivalent of being a kid in the same room while my brother got a whooping... No thanks - I'd rather not be a witness to THAT. Lcm did not mention us by name on that SNS tape, as I recall. Even if he did, it was over 7 years ago. Besides, I'm not one to be the center of attention - used to love it when I was teaching the Word, but in a courtroom - the thought of it creeps me out. WW - I feel deeply for you having been on that end of what that man could do. I trust it's been years for you and that you're healing too. Maybe you would or have already posted your "story?" Yes, I feel certain that my daughter is a direct gift from God. How could I have become bitter and hard-hearted with such a delightful sweetie melting my heart continually? Couldn't possibly happen. Another thought - while it was a horrible blow at the time, I had my son to be strong for. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself - I had to make us a living. My only regret is that I didn't punch that wimp right in the nose when he said those things about my son. Sure, he was the family corps coordinator, but my son was my son. I admit that I was brainwashed - it wasn't until my nonway friend told me he had said I was a lesbian that I even HEARD THAT part. That was a mistake on twi's part. I knew that only God knows our hearts, so I could consider (momentarily) that my son could maybe have possibly had a homo experience during that short time he was out of my sight at the campus the night before. But there was NO DOUBT in my mind about my "sexuality." They blew it there! I will tell my son about this post. When I first started lurking on Waydale and then GS, he was opposed to the idea. He felt it was dangerous to my heart. About a year ago, our former twig coordinators came to Tampa and invited us to visit with them. My son even brought his girlfriend along. We picked right up where we had left off several years ago. They were still the same and so were we. It was so good for us to see them. I don't know if my son will read this right away, so I have printed it out (whew!) for him. I will definitely tell him about it tomorrow. He's a great young man and may need a bit of time to digest that I have spoken about "it." God bless the Greasespotcafe and all who honestly share our hearts here. I love you all. bowtwi

Steve, I don't think you insensitive - I've asked that same question over 100 times - no clear answer comes to mind. People have told me that since I divorced my husband, I no longer had access to his money for abs. I don't know. I was a wow that year (93-94) and one of my wow sisters didn't like that I could handle drinking only 2 beers in a 24 hour period or that I could get in bed by midnight every night yet up by 7. She had trouble finding a job, keeping a job, taking care of her two very young children... It goes on and on. She had a brother who was a Corps grad. At that ROA (94), her brother approached me while I was walking to meet with the cabinet member I mentioned in my original post. He got right up in my face, yelling and swearing at me (sound familiar?) for not being nicer to his sister on the field and on the ride back to HQ from the field. He told me I had failed God by not supporting his sister better! I had the only car in our wow team. I had to provide this woman and her kids a ride back with no help from her. When we stopped to eat one morning, she got herself something for breakfast, but nothing for her kids. I shared mine with them after discovering that fact, as she had already eaten all of hers and what should have been theirs and we were on the road before I realized they had nothing to eat. Partway through our ride to HQ, our ride coordinator told her to keep her mouth shut the rest of the way, to keep her bible open on her lap and stop bothering me. (I drove the entire way from Santa Fe, NM to HQ in 3 days, as I recall.) I don't really know how SHE would have this kind of power, unless there was something else going on that I wasn't aware of (sex now comes to mind, but I accuse no-one of anything). If she was jealous of ME, she was really jealous of our team coordinator. She is the only one I ever knew of that had any evil thoughts of me and further of our team coordinator. I don't know. Stranger things have happened with twi. If anyone is in a position to answer that question, I would appreciate hearing it. My email address is bowtwi@aol.com I remain convinced that I am bowtwi.

Sunesis and Wacky Funster - thank you for your comments. We are very well and thankful for the good we did get from our time with twi. It wasn't all bad. I have written my story several times over the years, but never posted it before, as I didn't see any profit. Today, I felt different and let my breakfast get cold while I typed it out again. I was inspired by Hope's poll asking when people got out. At first, my son was angry with God for letting this happen to us. He pretty much had no use for God or anything that reminded him of God. It didn't help that my ex-husband blamed the ministry for my divorcing him. I tried to find a church, but of course never succeeded with my waybrain still in full force. I didn't push the issue with my son until a year or two after the M&A,when I discovered a tumor in my abdominal wall. It was BENIGN, but before we found that out, I made my son tell me whether or not he believed GOD, not twi, but GOD. He admitted he did and was a wonderful prayer partner. I continue to believe the verse in Proverbs (2:6 maybe?) FC at the Indiana Campus taught so well about training a child up in the Word and when they are old they will not depart from it. I also still believe most of what I learned while studying with twi. In the area I lived in Wisconsin, it really was the Word of God we were into. It really was the lifestyle of believers that we endeavored to live. I had heard of some of the rumors about vpw and lcm, but somehow I just didn't believe them. The Word was hot and moving where we were and that other stuff just didn't seem possible to me. Even with the POP - I was sponsoring a family that was in res at that time - they told us they stood with lcm, so I didn't even read it til I saw it on Waydale. I remember my twig coordinator at the time went to a SNS at HQ and before he left he said he was going to see what was going on over there. When he came back, he said he stood with the ministry. I respected his "walk" and if he stood with lcm then so did I. Besides, if Mrs. Wierwille was "with lcm," that said it all to me. I am proud to say that my son knows what God thinks of him. He is self-supporting (drives a 2002 Mitsubishi Gallant with leather interior and takes his mom for rides in it!!!). He is very clear-minded and faithful to his family. What I didn't mention above is that I now also have a 5-year-old daughter. My son is a fabulous brother to her. She went camping with him and his girlfriend two weeks ago and they had a ball! Had I stayed with the ministry, I would never have known this joy! God has done a lot more than merely "spit in my direction!" We were never abused to the degree that many were by twi - I thank God for that. I no longer let others'opinions make my decisions, tho. On the rare occasion that the subject comes up between us, my son and I get a chuckle out of them accusing US of being homos. We do wonder what threat we were to them, but it no longer matters to us. We are living more than abundant lives and we know that God never M&A'd us. I say all this to show that even though twi "dumped" us, we know that God never did. I'm sorry that they couldn't be honest and say that they didn't like us or whatever the truth was at the time, but I sure feel like I got a lot of good out of my time with twi, in spite of what they were doing behind the scenes. I'm also glad that I only have to answer for MY life, not theirs when the time comes. bowtwi

We left twi after one or two days in res in the family corps in 1994. I had been a family coordinator on the wowfield, which was my apprentice year. I had coordinated Children's Fellowship for a couple years before going wow. I had been "in" for 14 years in Wisconsin, which was pretty sheltered from all the controversy of POP. At that time, I was sponsoring a family in residence at Rome City. That campus was my favorite place to be in the world, and as soon as I got divorced from my so-called unbeliever ex-husband, I went wow and thought I was on my way to really learn the meat of the Word and train to love and teach God's people as I had been loved and taught. I was counselled by a "cabinet member" against waiting another year to enter residence, which I felt I should do, and went in believing that God really wanted me in THAT corps. The shortest explanation I can give is that my son broke his leg on the wowfield and I was no longer out of debt. I felt I shouldn't start out an exception to the no debt rule, but was convinced by the cabinet member that I could believe God to take care of the payments - which my nonway sister agreed to take over for me while I was in res. (another miracle, in my opinion) Shortly after our arrival on campus, the corps coordinator approached me and asked me if I would sell my car to pay that debt. I said I would. He then told me I didn't have to, that I might need it for transporting my son to afterschool activities, like football. He said he had only asked to see where my committment level was. I loved him all the more for being so understanding. I had met that coordinator a few years earlier when he was limb leader of Texas. His son was a wow in Wisconsin and had been injured in a car accident. He came to Wisconsin and in betweeen tending to his son, visited our twig and taught us so sweetly. I was so impressed with his ability to "give" while his son was in such condition. I thought he was such a fine man of God with a tender heart for God's people. I thought that's what the Corps. taught men to be. Man, I knew I was at the feet of a great man of God! I just oozed with thanksgiving and agape love. I was literally cleaning toilets at the campus and thanking God for the opportunity after eating breakfast at the head table when I was summoned to the president's parlor where I was told that my 13 year old son was a homo rapist. I was not allowed to know the accuser, but was warned that there were 25 federal counts in 5 states against him. I was told not to speak a word, that I was unable to speak the truth, and that I was to go to town and get my "piece of dang" son from the high school and get that "contamination" off of "their" campus. I actually tried to apologize for "missing that my son was a homo!" He also told me something about my son's "dick" in a little boy's mouth. Not only was I shocked to hear that language from that "man of God," but I never thought to doubt his words. I thought something had happened on the campus basketball court the night before when my son and some other boys were out playing. I was so ashamed of myself. Surely, God had tried to tell me and I just wasn't listening. (He also said that if I ran "true to form," that I would be "badmouthing the ministry within 24 hours." That was very effective. It took me years to even admit to myself that it wasn't me, it was THEM.) I drove to town in a state of shock and picked up my wonderful son. I asked him about the sex he had been having. He asked me to ask God, because he knew that God knew our hearts, as I had taught him all of his life, having raised him "in the word." It didn't take long to realize that this was all some terrible mistake. We stopped at a McDonald's in Indiana and called HQ. Silly me, I asked to speak to lcm. I was so sure that there had been some mistake and that of course, he would want to clear this up. I was put on hold to the tune of over $9.00 in a payphone. At that point, a very rude trunk coordinator got on the phone and told me to "get a life." He told me to find a nice counselor, as I was in total denial and "they" were not a "research, teaching and COUNSELLING ministry!" I told him that after 15 years "in" I didn't trust anyone "outside the household" and asked if we couldn't live someplace, anyplace where there was strong Corps that could help us. He chuckled and told me to go live near my "earthly family." Of course, I had already treated them like they were heathens for years, so when I got there I couldn't very well tell them that I had been kicked out of the ministry that I loved more than them! Besides that, my sister's son was around 10 years old. Our family had already been shattered by sexual abuse when we were young, so I couldn't mention the accusations to them - to this day I still haven't. I begged the trunk coordinator to let me speak with lcm. I was sure that HE would see through this mess with those great spiritual eyes of his. After all, he had recently spoken about how he spiritually cleaned all the "stuff" that came into his house and he was always in fellowship with God... I said that we were heading to HQ and then he freaked out on me. He actually told me that their armed security people had photos of me and my son and would not allow us on grounds! For 15 years I had felt that HQ was as much mine as anyone's, and suddenly there were ARMED guards on the lookout for me and my 13-year-old son?!? My son said it then, and it took me years to see it myself, if they were "in fellowship" and "listening to God," they wouldn't have believed those accusations. The trunk coordinator told me to find a nice counsellor and call back in 3 months to let them know what I was doing and then they would consider allowing me to attend a twig. I lived for that day! My son offerred to take a lie detector test. I inquired and found out that it would cost $217, which I was willing to believe God for. (I was a single mom with no child support at that time.) I spoke with 5 different counsellors. Not one of the first four would take me seriously. They didn't actually laugh at me, but came close. I wanted counselling to help me keep working towards getting back into THAT? The fifth one agreed to help me, but at $60 a visit. He also made it clear that he disagreed with my decision to "get back into the ministry." Of course, anyone who was "in" that I called, trying to tell my side told me that they could no longer speak with me. I told them that I understood and I still loved them. I was able to speak with my team coordinator from the wowfield, as she had also been M&A'd. The ministry accused her of "missing" that my son and I were homos and called her a "fag hag." She was such a sweet lady with a great love for God and His people. She was truly a fine example on the wowfield. When they threw her away, she was in Colorado and her family was all on the eastern side of the country. It broke my heart to hear what they had said and done to her. She so did not deserve that treatment. That's when I started to think that maybe they were not what I had believed them to be. We spoke for a short time, and we both had been told to call HQ in 3 months. She called first. She was told that she could go to the limb of her state and they would talk to her. I called next. I was told that my name was on a list at the switchboard of people who were not to be put through to anyone. I was told that I was not told to call, but rather to write a letter detailing what all I had done to take care of my situation. I finally got it. No matter what I did, the hoops would be moved and I would never be able to score. I was a good wayfer and my SNS tape subscription continued through that night (I'm thinking it was the first or second SNS in Sept. '94) when lcm said in front of God and everybody and ON TAPE that my son ought to be fried! It was in the context of what a great job "they" were doing of cleaning out the Corps. household and that I actually thought I could get away with bringing "that" onto campus! When a nonway friend of mine tried to call me at the campus after we were kicked out, she was given to the coordinator who told her that I was a lesbian and my son a homo. She asked him why they didn't help us after my 15 years of service and he told her that if she thought I was so great that she should come down to Florida and "bed down with me!" When I visited Wisconsin a couple years later, she tried to get me "deprogrammed," but I knew more Word than her minister and I frustrated him with my loyalty to the way. He said that he was going to go higher up in his echelon and get me some help. I left my address with him, but never heard anything. Over the years, people that knew me once upon a time have contacted me after they left the way. They all have said that they never believed the accusations, but I was M&A'd... It was out of their control. If they had tried to stand up for me, they would be M&A'd. I couldn't blame them. Two months shy of 8 years later. There have never been any charges filed and we are still Better Off Without The Way International.