bowtwi

Hey there, Miss Chinny - so glad to hear of your upcoming nuppies - depending on the timing of the officiation, I just may make it to the party afterwards... and isn't Grizzy talkin' 'bout dat chick what goes by her middle name, and her first name starts wtih a G, and she was dating that guy Hal E. Looyah last I heard...? Mebbe they runned offn got hitched? Ya think? I might be mistaken here, but methinks I remember it dat way, jes speakin' from my own recollection, see... ;)--> Please, correct me ifn I'm wrong here...

Oh man - I can't believe what's all gone on since I last peeked in on this thread! The Beatles White Album is the greatest!!! I saw Paul McCartney last spring and it was so exciting! Such a fabulous show! And you probably don't want to get me started on John Prine!!! I think I have 13 (maybe more) of his CDs! That doesn't count what I have on albums and cassettes. He comes to Clearwater, FL every two years, and I go with someone different each time, but I always go! I have seen him more than a dozen times. He sure does have more fun now than he ever did! One of my wow sisters played his Bruised Orange cassette about a million times and I thought she might be a bigger fan of his than I, and I was so glad. Fish and Whistle always makes me think of her. The chorus says - Father, forgive us, for what we must do - You forgive us, we'll forgive You. We'll forgive each other til we both turn blue, then we'll whistle and go fishin' in heaven. I sure love that song! And That's The Way That The World Goes 'Round - really says it all! Okay, I'll stop now and just put on a CD. (you're welcome)

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Jesus and Satan sat down at the keyboards and typed. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became even more irate. Satan yelled at the top of his voice, "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it??!!" God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves."

wasway - I must admit that when the sun went down, I closed all the windows, and before we went to bed I put the heat on. Thankfully, it's too cold even in FL, for mosquitos right about now. I thought of this email I got today when I read your reply, so I thought I would post it here for you. If you fail to heed the advice and suffer the consequences, well, just don't say you weren't warned... Subj: Warning! WARNING !! Warning!!! Date: 1/4/03 10:07:17 AM Eastern Standard Time I usually don't forward these but this one is particularly frightening to me.... Don't go to the bathroom on January 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the hiney by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business. I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend whose drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligator and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.

Thanks for that great tune - sweet and thoughtful gift. I listened to it while opening a window in each room of my house. Just got home from lunch with Hope and Rascal and had to change into shorts and a tank top and open up the windows to let the great warm air flow through. How's the weather where you are this fine January day? :P-->

Hey Buck, try it replacing the word "get" with the word "acquire." See if that helps any.

And Steve! I liked yours, too. Merry Merry Christmas to you all!

Well Buck, I'd say you've made up for the first one with the second. Good save! And Chatty, I had to laugh when I read you were waiting on your son who was coming from the west - so did mine (on a much smaller level - he drove out I-4 to get here!!! Fabulous Christmas day here at the bowtwi family celebration. I love Christmas - woo hoo!!!

Yo - Buck! Who's there?

Ah well there now! That's more like it, Buck-oh! Not that I'm THE joke authority, but I like that one much better - might have something to do with getting it, ya think?

Oh, I knew that, yeah, sure You have a much better memory than I do! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Good one, Buck!!!

or is the bo referring to me, as in short for bow (which is short for bowtwi, which is short for better off without the way international)? Too much thinking for a holiday. Time to enjoy Christmas Eve. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who didn't get it right away...

I don't get it. But don't let that stop you from continuing in your knock knock jokewriting. (I live in Flori-duh)

to who?

I'm so sorry for you. Loneliness can be tough enough to deal with, but your reason for it adds insult to injury. I wish good things for you.

Who's there?

Oops! I just noticed that I didn't hit NEW POST, but REPLY when I went to start the post I put before this one! I thought I was starting a new one. I wasn't referring to this thread at all, really - actually other ones that we might start. As if THIS THREAD could be derailed, makes me laugh to even think the words! Thanks, Chatty! I thought so.

I just read Chatty's Music thread where she noted that when she printed it out it filled 184 pages! Reading that got me to thinking about all the pages the waygb must have collected of GS posts. It seems to me that they must at least copy and paste to another document and save each post as they come along, since if I remember correctly, when that post of QQ's where he joked about drinking a cheap six-pack of beer and urinating on somebody's grave at twi, wasn't that one of those threads that disappeared when paw had server trouble, yet they had it for their lawyer to show the Ohio authorities. I don't think for a minute that QQ would ever actually do that, but when I read it, altho I thought it was funny, I also thought that it could come back to bite us. I'm thinking that can serve as a reminder to us that we might do well to keep the waygb in mind as we post, so as not to give them ammo to ever use for any reason against anybody. Does anyone remember better than I do which threads disappeared? Would someone confirm what I'm saying? I write this partly because at this holiday time, we might be more likely to post after having a few drinks, and loose lips sink ship, you know what I mean? Just trying to be a friendly reminder - I hope I'm communicating what I mean to say. Just because I'm paranoid does NOT mean they're not out to get me. (NOT referring to the waygb - just a funny expression I think applies here)

I witnessed to a guy and was undersheparding him. I spent my Saturday afternoons and evenings with him, which was our designated free time. I was a good wow and always behaved like one. I loved being a wow. This guy happened to live about 10 feet outside the city limits sign. When my team coordinator found that out, she told me that I was not to go to his house anymore! She told me that I was not allowed outside the city limits, that my commitment was to stay within the city limits! She felt compelled to inform the limb coordinator of my crime. Then, the lc, who was such a nerd anyway, acted like I was a naughty, disobedient kid!!! I didn't respect him anyways, but this sealed my opinion of him. I continued to go to my friend's house in my free time and I just didn't say anything about it - heck, he and I stayed friends even after twi didn't want me anymore.

that's such a great song!!!

In the early 70'S I was in Jr. High. I remember wearing those ridiculous "gymsuits" and lying on our backs doing our exercises to the Supremes' Stop in the Name of Love and Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart - I really thought I sounded just like Janis!!! And when Jesus Christ Superstar came out - oh wow! I went through a few of those!!! I still remember every word (at least I think I do - having no turntable, I can't really prove it!) Oh now I've gotten myself wound up - just remembered The Who's Tommy! Ah, the music of the 70's - a joy to my heart!

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

CHRISTMAS WARNING... Christmas has been canceled and it is all your fault because you told Santa you had been good this year ....and...... he died laughing

I won $5.00! That's right! I had three big matching numbers and won $5.00! So now I don't feel like a total loser for not winning Linda's contest. Still can't imagine making a 9 year old girl play a big ol' accordian (grumble grumble). Thanks for the banjo jokes, Ron - they're great - I've been through about half of them, and there are 271 it says... Hey Ala, won anything lately? I have.

You poor thing, Linda, that's borderline child abuse! Ohmygod!!! Was there any fun to it? I never woulda guessed that in a million years, not s a serious guess, anyways... Heck, I'm not even sure I know how to spell it! Yikes, well laleo, you deserve the prize. It was fun to play. Ala, sure was fun messin' around with ya - hope I didn't hurt ya too bad when I "accidentally" elbowed ya there - didn't see ya, yeah, yeah, that's the ticket! All I keep hearing as I type this sad concession post is the Beatles - "I'm a Loo-oo-oo-ser" Oh well, maybe I'll win the $100 million FL lotto tonight. IhopeIwinIhopeIwinIhopeIwinIhopeIwinIhopeIwin!!!!!