bowtwi

That was Andrew, one of the very nicest people I've met. I've waited 6 years to make his acquaintance and it was so very worth the wait!!! He and Annie hit it off very well and traveled together as tho they'd done this before. I'd love to say more, but time is of the essence, so here's a little teaser.

We're at rascal's and we have dot matrix and her friend here with us! What a great day to be here, celebrating 20 years of wedded bliss with the lovebirds. I told mr. rascal that I only have about 1300 more greasespotters to bring here and he said, and I do quote, "BRING "EM ON!" I consider that a challenge. Originally we planned on leaving here by 1 pm, but as it usually goes, we're not on the road yet. We've been fed and loved up and the kids have done their thing. We also got to sing Happy Birthday to rascalmom, who I actually met in MI last summer. It was fun to see her here in TN today. In fact, the princess rode with her back from our meeting spot and rascal rode with us. Oh yeah, our new dog - well, let's just say that I'm very thankful she's been fixed, as sirhumpsalot and she hit it right off, and even tho it was the first date, well, what stays on GS Roadtrips STAYS on the roadtrip, right? Having more fun than should be legal - woo hoo!

happy birthday, Mrs!

:blink: That was me, the post above. I don't know how I did that without being logged in.

... but it's certainly worth a try!

Hope it's a great day for you!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "Oh, gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?) We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results. "Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just. .. excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. 2 - Lizards - $140... 1 - Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30... Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie...Priceless Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!

sudo - you and me both! I was thinking she was going to say it was "do you want yours cheesed?" said really fast. I'm now thinking it had something to do with toasted, but as a transcriptionist, I think I listen sort of sideways to hear what they might be saying and I just can't make it out either. I'd have to say no thanks too. :blink:

Thanks, Linda.

But of course, dear dooj, of course I'll make your cheesecake too. I'm just more a NY cheesecake kind of girl, truth be told. Not that I can't enjoy and appreciate variety, cause I do... LOL As long as the Lord continues to tarry, I'll have time to try em all! Woo hoo!!!

I think you meant vee pee sang the last chorus with Claudine Royal on a SNS . He wasn't around in the 90s.

Oh man, that's just too much! This one just got me. How can these people live to such ages? And I thought I did stupid things sometimes. Like paying someone $100 to come out and yank my garage door chain to fix the overhead door when all I had to do was come to chat and talk to Rum, Per, Ron and Hap! I'm an editor for a transcription service. I had a lady type baloney amputation once. (Below knee amputation was what was dictated.)

"Faster 'n a Texan on a pork chop." "Let 'er rip, tater chip!" "Big (made a big circle with his hands as if doing the motions for itsy bitsy spider when "out came the sun" and then said) deal!"

And minestrone - oh man, I have to try that too! This is great fun! I'm making Belle's chicken nachos picadillo tomorrow - we're eatin good now!

Whew, was I ever tired last night when I tried to quote dooj here. This is the one I meant to say I'm going to try. Might just make that pineapple pizza for the dinner when I make the NY cheesecake. :blink: