JavaJane

Amen to all of that, OldSkool. I own my own business and Lord knows I do not want that business associated in any way with The Way. I have a reputation to uphold, and being a former brainwashed cult member doesn't look too good.

Damn straight we were!

I actually taught a fellowship about how fantastic St Patrick was because he preserved so much of the Bible in the monasteries he founded - the monks would copy texts brought from Rome, Greece, and Egypt. Never was reproved on that. I wonder how I got away with it?

One of the first things I realized when I started seeing twi clearly was that all the anal retentive cleaning and measuring silverware and Christian etiquette and chair stringing and no debt policy was just A DISTRACTION from the REAL SPIRITUAL FILTH that was right in front of me. The constant focus on stupid little details kept me from seeing what was really happening. And it also provided a myriad if opportunities for the leadership (who had real loads of spiritual $h1t all over them) to confront the well intentioned believer and DISTRACT from anything bigger that might be going on (like adultery, rape, etc.)... It gave them loads of ammunition against someone when they left or were marked and avoided as well - for example, someone walks away from twi. Now the limb/branch/fellowship coordinator tells everyone how there was something wrong with that person, and they could tell by the way they kept their house/paid their bills/the kind of books they were reading, etc etc. Pick the log out of your eye, Pharisees, before you pick at the mote in mine. (ironically, I am off to clean my house now....)

OldSkool, that reverend is your wife's FAVORITE reverend.

She also told me that the Reverend who married them encouraged them to do this when the need arose....? Double weirdo on the reverend.

We used to call Rico "Rico the Robot." I just remembered another incident: my Limb coordinator wife (new to the area) telling me and a couple of other single girls how after she got married she and her husband would HAVE to pull over and have sex on the side of the road all the time and that all married people did that. Weirdo. *edited for spelling

My team coordinator was way out of line. I told him that to his face while we were still in front of the guy we were witnessing to. He looked like an foot. It took having the Branch coordinator getting in his face for him to see that jokes like that we're unacceptable. A man of his age (at least 15 years older than me) should have known at that point in his life that his joke was inappropriate. Then there were people who over shared on everything. I really don't need to know how your cleanse is going, or how God delivered you from a yeast infection. And then there was always that person who had to shove the Word into every conversation, and who was not very good at being subtle.

Social ineptness in twi was rampant. Some people just seemed to have no clue what was appropriate to talk about and what wasn't - or what was appropriate physical contact with members of the opposite sex, and then there were people who would think anything hey said couldn't be offensive because they were "joking." I think part of the cause was the idea that "all things are clean for those that are clean." As an example: My Way Disciple team leader thought it was fine to tell everyone that I was sleeping with him when we were out witnessing - because he was "joking." I'm sure there are lots of other stories out there. Please share so we can all have an awkward laugh. I'll post more as I think of them, but I think I smell something burning and better get off the computer.

Check your messages OldSkool.

I will never ever forget my Way Disciple team coordinator falling asleep at every event and snoring like a water buffalo. I'm suprised the sound didn't end up on some of those tapes. That man could SNORE (and drool.)

Thanks, ex! Hugs right back at ya!

Good frucking grief. This is a perfect example of using people and loving things. Stupid, ridiculous... If it had been for some poetic reason, like the human beings who this man of God helped in his life should lay his body to rest (and his wife's body, too) instead of impersonal machines... I could see that. But not wanting to disturb the grass?? WTF? (the above post does not indicate my feelings towards VP... He was an evil, mean man. Any help he gave to his fellow human beings was an unintended side effect of his self-serving lusts.)

I have a good relationship with my family now. I don't think it will ever be completely free of the shadows of my actions in marking and avoiding then for years, though. But it's ok. In some ways it showed me how strong families can rebuild and forgive each other. What bothered (and bothers) me the most is knowing that I am capable of that kind of cruelty. But NEVER AGAIN. I have a child now, and I will NEVER EVER cut her out of my life. I don't care what she does. It would be a non issue. Family is too important. I am trying my best to teach her that importance, too. My brother is doing much better now. He has a son now, is going to college for social work, and has a small business he is running. He recently got full custody of his son (the mother kept getting busted for meth) and I am so happy that my brother is able to give that sweet nephew of mine a stable loving home to grow up in. He has been clean for over two years now. I am so proud of him. He says his son has been his salvation. My nephew went from speaking only three words when he moved in to reciting story books from memory a couple months later. He says please and thank you. He has a good dad.

A lack of empathy was encouraged by twi leaders, at least in my experience. When I marked and avoided my parents (encouraged by leadership) I had a few weeks of times where I would burst into tears. Most of these were brought on by thinking of how my parents felt, anc my siblings, and my grandparents, etc. it hurt to think of how I hurt them. I sought counsel from my leadership - their advice? Stop thinking about how they feel. Stop putting yourself in their place. That isn't according to the Word... and they are no longer part of the Household. Don't concern yourself with them. The best thing to do if you really love them is to stand on the Word and Mark and Avoid them. This MIGHT get them to the point of godly sorrow where they might be able to come back. In reality, you are saving their lives by doing this. I turned off my empathy by doing what they said and became a bully with the best intentions.

This is a quote from the "Manipulation of One's Consent" thread... Along with the accounts of VP and LCM using accounts of sexual abuse from corps women's "From Birth to the Corps" papers as a way to choose victims, I started thinking... How many of us were bullied by peers or abused by authority figures as children? And by bullying, I am talking about more than just being picked in once in a while. I am talking about repeated abuse by your peers, to the point of being afraid to go to school, depression, even maybe having suicidal thoughts. I wasn't abused by my parents (one of my brothers was, but that was under the direction of twi leadership - my parents wouldn't have been like that on their own.). I was, however, the victim of bullying at school. I was always a bit of a misfit. Smarter than most of the other kids, I loved reading (read all of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, including The Hobbit over a week the summer of my third grade year. I even would read the encyclopedias when I ran out of reading material.). My family was not wealthy, and my parents were hippies. They dressed me like a hippy kid, which made me stand out. And, since they were hippies, I was raised to be a pacifist. What a perfect target for bullying. My parents put me in a private religious school when I was in second grade to get me away from the bullies. That worked - I was more accepted there. But tuition became too expensive, and I ended up back in public school by 6th grade. It was like hell every day for me. The first day I came home and told my mom and dad that I kept telling myself to wake up because I didn't think school could be that bad in real life. Six months later they pulled me out and I was homeschooled for a year. They tried again to out me in public school. I was beaten up every day after school by the same group of girls that ridiculed me all day. It was horrible. I considered suicide. I was 12 years old the first time I thought about it. I remember telling myself over and over "I hate you! Why can't you just be NORMAL? Of course they hate you. Look at you! You're weird, you're ugly, you're stupid." we moved when I was halfway through 8th grade. It helped having a fresh start somewhere else. My mom had just taken the foundational class of PFAL, too. Great timing. I think this helped mold me into the kind of person who would fall for twi hook, line, and sinker. I was desperate for acceptance. I had never really had a group of people other than family who accepted and loved me before. And when my parents went into the WC, I went WOW. I felt (in a way I didn't acknowledge until after I left twi) that they had abandoned me for twi. I had just turned 20, and my safety net was gone, replaced by the WOW family. As I think about this stuff, I realize that I was the only one of my siblings that STAYED with twi in unwavering loyalty when my parents were marked and avoided. I was also the only sibling that experienced the bullying that I did. No wonder I was so so so unquestioningly loyal to twi. They accepted me, loved me, and didn't tell me I was unworthy... ...not until later, anyway. By the time I had gotten through the WOW year, I was being bullied again. But it was more subtle than the kids at school. And it snuck in... And by that point I was convinced that the only place I could get love was from "The love of God in manifestation in the renewed mind in the Household" (you have no idea how thankful I am that I probably didn't quote that definition correctly!) It wasn't until I was married and in a stable relationship that had the support of my husband's unwavering love and the love if his rock solid family behind it that I really saw that REAL unconditional love existed, and I didn't have to be abused or bullied to have it. Wow. I was really messed up. And I was pretty weak. But I'm not anymore. So, my question is, how many of you were bullied or abused? Do you think it had an effect on your involvement with twi?

Maybe she meant that he had gotten to the point where his ego was so inflated that he didn't give a $hi+ about offending or being disgusting to anyone... And it was a cheap disgusting thrill. Pervert. Yuck.

Smashing them with a hammer might be theraputic...

It always amazed me the emphasis placed on "proper stewardship" of Way resources, but the complete lack of respect for items of sentimental value owned by individuals in twi. So many many times I was told to "burn the chaff" when it came to keepsakes. Jewlery given by a passed relative - get rid of it if you don't wear it (it can harbor devil spirits); high school yearbooks; pictures of family members and friends that no longer stood "on the Word"... So many times I was told that if I hadn't used an item in a year I should toss it out. Burn the chaff... Everything carries something (meaning everything not having to do with twi had a devil spirit attached.). Now, looking back with a clearer head I realize that this served the purpose of removing all reminders of anything rated to non-Way life. It was another method of control. My family has a great many heirlooms from more than a hundred years ago, and I am thankful I didn't get rid of the ones i had despite encouragement and pressure from leadership. And I am thankful my grandmothers didn't pass away until after I left twi. Now I have important mementos of them that might have been tossed away otherwise. I mean, who needs a Book of Common Prayer that came over from England on a boat with your great great great great aunt, anyway? And who needs a cloak with hidden pockets that a great great great grandmother smuggled supplies to Union soldiers in? And who would possibly find any value in a poem written by a great great grandfather to your great great grandmother proposing marriage? I mean, has to be a lot of devil spirits just waiting to possess you in those items, right? Twi wanted us to wipe out our past while lauding the Weirwille family's history to the stars.

The housekeeping at HQ actually found out that some furniture had been damaged due to over polishing it... Geez. What a metaphor for the way twi treated people - reproof reproof correction confrontation (polishing) until they were damaged.

Catholic origin - that always means its devilish, don't you know?

Wow. Just wow. I have been trying to put that thought into words for a while now. That quote from Sally Field nailed it. Thank you for posting that. It was this year that I came to realize that I didn't even know what I wanted anymore because I had submerged myself do deeply into what other people wanted of me. I think a lot if that had to do with frowning up in twi.

After recently reading the Wonderland thread, it sounds like there was some sort of (ahem) romantic involvement between those women and VP... Do you think that is possible?

I'm wondering if there is some sort of rule about emeritus trustees can only marry emeritus trustee household.... Kinda like corps can only marry corps.

I don't think this plan has been successful... But it was a plan. I remember in the last few years I was involved trying to find vacation spots where I couldn't get cell phone service so none of my WC leadership could find me and I could have a break. I can't imagine trying to RELAX while on vacation at a Root locale where everyone is waiting for a chance to prove themselves more spiritual than me by finding a chance to reprove and correct at every possible moment.