JavaJane

it's not so wonderful that I just had a tremendous urge to vomit in abundance as the memory of the "low breathy voice" came back to me.

I once had my WD Coordinator with me at a department store while we were making a purchase he told the guy behind the counter that we were having sex. My coordinator was 20 years older than me, and 3 inches shorter. I was not cool with this. He said I should get over it, and continued to tell everyone in earshot how he had bedded me and how much I liked it. I NEVER SLEPT WITH THE GUY. I reported it to his leadership who reprimanded him... but where did he get the idea it was OK to say something like that? And then there was "Uncle Howard" who was just a flat out dirty old man. Once I was attending a STS and caught the attention of a friend across the room. I blew a kiss in her direction and winked at her. Uncle Howard thought I was apparently trying to catch HIS attentions. Good thing my husband was there with me. He cut in front of Howard and told him to get lost. Even Doc vic's teaching about how "every woman in the kingdom belonged to the king" should have woken me up. I thought he must just be mistaken. Or overhearing a conversation in the hall while visiting HQ between the head of International Outreach and someone else in which the International Outreach guy said, "Well, the Japanese people can't say the letter R because their mouths are built differently than ours are." And I made excuses for all of them.

Yeah, that one didn't last too long... even people who were drinking the Kool-Aid balked at that. I really think it was just a way to make sure they knew where everyone was at all times so LCM could have his trysts where no one would see. I remember that people would take their babies to fellowship, set them down on a blanket and then used the spoon on them when they would make a noise or fidget. BABIES. Crap, I could barely sit through those long boring meetings without fidgeting! Poor kids.

only if we could burn an effigy of Uncle Howard... the perv. Guy always gave me the heebie geebies every time I got around him. Always wanting to hug just a LITTLE too long... Always a little too hands on, if you know what I mean. Ughhh.... I shudder at the memory.

I used to play "believer Tourette's"... We would try to use all the catchphrases at random. Thought it would make a good drinking game at a STS video playback. Have to take a drink everytime someone said abundance, prevail, tremendous, wonderful, or household. It would have put us way over the two drink limit. Have a prevailingly abundantly blessed day with your wonderful tremendous self. You are the breast. Rub ya!

I *think* she mentioned it by name... Maybe Mr. Linder could confirm? And I have heard that they were wiring Founders Hall for internet and cable TV at some point (which the Staff would have to pay for, so it probably would only be for the WC favorites who made some money.) Who knows if it actually happened. I had a couple of friends (young people) who worked on Staff who had figured out how to get internet by connecting their computers to their cell phones and then hanging the cell phone out of their window at Founders Hall. It worked, but was very slow. I wonder if the reason they said they would wire Founders Hall for internet is so they could somehow monitor the traffic? I don't even know if that is possible... but they sure couldn't monitor what was going through the cell phones unless they grabbed the computer out of someone's room. (which they could and would, I'm sure, except they could be sued.)

How about laying out your clothes the night before? Or trying to "discern the spirits" in movies? Burning the chaff?? (I did some of that earlier - without the literal burning) calling the leaders of other religoins "seed of the serpent"?

It's done... But not burnt, just thrown in the trash. I have other Bibles in other versions - I especially enjoy my copy of The Message. It keeps my brain from going back to Way-ville when I read. It's nice. I couldn't burn the thing becuase of having a very busy toddler and high winds... Didn't go well together since said toddler was velcroed to mommy and the only place I had to burn it was the grill outside. All chants and dances were very appreciated. Especially squirrel dances. I love those. Reminds me of the Witchdoctor song done by the Chipmunks... :) while I would normally never consider burning any book, I felt it necessary to rid myself of that one - it wasn't a Bible to me anymore. It was a Way Ministry research tool. When I want to sit and read from a Bible I want to be able to enjoy it from a fresh perspective without the shadow or taint to twi on the page. I'm glad it's gone.

They would LOVE my Mary garden, complete with Our Lady of Guadalupe statuary and angels with WINGS!!!

I forgot... you also can't say: Christmas Valentine's Day Easter Halloween instead you say: Ho-ho (Household Holiday) Happy Hearts Day Ressurection Sunday Bless or Treat

I just realized that the reason I was keeping the Bible was BECAUSE of those notes. I think all those markings I put in it were more valuable to me than the printed words on the page. I mean, you could buy a Bible anywhere, right? But those notes were irreplaceable. All the Greek, Aramaic, all the holy spirit markings, all the commentary from classes and teachings... Wow. Has my belief system changed! Yes. And I am ridding myself of my idolatry of twi doctrine above God.

It sounds sacreligeous to burn my bible, does it not? I pulled it out a minute ago to look up something... hadn't pulled out the old notated leather-bound Oxford in the holy spirit dove leather case in over a year, I generally just look stuff up online if I need a verse. And when I opened it, a chill went through me. The first note I read was Galatians 6:10 As we have opportunity, let us do good until all men, especially to those who are of the household of faith. My note? IT STARTS IN THE HOUSEHOLD. Household, of course, meaning THE WAY INTERNATIONAL. But we were never GOOD to each other. We talked a lot about the "love of and for God in the renewed mind in manifestation in the Household...." But we treated each other like s#*t most of the time. I knew some good people in the Way. But as far as being loving and caring towards each other? Most of it was just one person telling the other how they could improve.... sometimes it would end with a "you're the best!" Right. Tell me I am the best. Then tell me that I need to live like Jesus Christ, that is available to be like him because he was a man, just like us. But when something bad happened, when you needed help, when you needed encouragement, when you needed some cash... Where were they? They were right there to tell you how you had brought this upon yourself by your lack of believing. That you had opened a hole in your "hedge of protection." Maybe they didn't say it explicitly, but it sure as h3ll was implied. I occasionally go to a Catholic church with my in-laws. They are so much more loving there. They even help out those who don't go to church. They have a food pantry we donate to. They are THERE for people when they need help. They pray in church for people who are sick, dying, or just need help. They even pray for God to bless everyone, even if they aren't Catholic or Christian. I used to cry every time I went to a Catholic service, because the LOVE was so much more apparent than it ever was or will be in the Way. And that love doesn't even depend on whether you want it or not... or even if you think they are wrong. So, since that Bible reminds me of all my bondage and years without real LOVE, I am burning it without reservation. I am replacing it with another version that doesn't remind me of all those years that were eaten by the locusts, where I was blinded by the legalism of the Way.

Some more I just remembered (for those of you who still think there isn't legalism in the Way) wait two years after marriage to have kids questions during marriage counselling about "what would you do if your spouse decided to leave the ministry?" retemories required attendance at meetings/events reporting back and don't forget - no dreaming while you are asleep! Control control control

There were so many big rules we had to follow (no debt, had to be an Advanced Class Grad to get married, etc...) but there were a lot of little ones, too: the two drink limit no good thing happens after midnight (curfew for WOWs and WDs) no dating unbelievers no marriage between Way castes (WC married WC) no gambling have to stand when clergy entered a room pantyhose had to be worn for best dress after 5:00 pm "casually nice" clothes 2x2 ALWAYS don't say anything negative don't use any of the following words: luck, create, creative, hope make your bed every day or you are out of fellowship kids need to be beaten with spoons and trained like dogs the suggestion of a leader is tantamount to a command no new people at fellowship? Now you have to go make yourself look like an a$$ by witnessing! Travel plans must be submitted in writing to your leadership. No secular reading no religous reading outside twi materials no Internet no life. Edited for swear words... Tee hee.

Wow... that is truly insidious... I never thought that it could just be being used as a trap. It sorta backfired on her - I actually went to GSC the first time to see if I could find the post to read it for myself. And then that just led to more questioning... and the questioning led to more thinking... and that led to me getting the frack out.

Mr B... That is terrible. I was just reading a bedtime story to my little one about going to bed and thinking happy thoughts so that you could have happy dreams. Much nicer than being told to go to bed and control your mind so you didn't dream at all. And then thee was that whole thing about how God couldn't speak to you in your dreams. I really think a lot of stuff gets sorted outcwhile we sleep, allowing usto see things in a way we wouldn't during the day. But they told us to shut that off, leading us to feel guilt when we dreamed, and to devalue the messages from our own brain (or maybe even God) in the process. I used to have dreams all the time about zombies attacking HQ. Gee, now it all makes sense.

I had a WC leader tell me that I needed to just obey him because he had "the spiritual responsibilty" for me in the situation... And that having that "spiritual responsibility" was not something I wanted because it was a serious burden. How can someone else be spiritually responsible for me? This was at the point where I was actively question things. He wasn't able to explain what he meant. I figured it was one of those weird WC things.

Well, if they have enemies, it's because they are being attacked by the adversary for their stand on the word.... But if they aren't being attacked, it's because they are doing the word. Kinda like all of us who left. If we are doing well it's because the adversary is giving us false prosperity to convince people to leave twi. If we aren't doing well it's because we are reaping the consequences of walking out from God's protection. Convenient, isn't it?

I remember watching a couple of little girls one night for a WC couple. I was instructed by the mom, "do not tell the girls sweet dreams before they go to bed. Dreams just mean you aren't controlling your thinking." I thought this was very odd. I guess twi even wanted us to give up the little bit of free time our brains had that wasn't being used up by them... or at least to feel guilty about it.

(((((christibloomfieldwall))))) I thank God, too!!

Recently, I have started trying to stop calling twi "The Ministry"... because it ISN'T the ONLY Ministry.... it isn't even a ministry (of God.) I hate even using the term "ministry" in association with twi.

I remember being told by someone at HQ that at lunch one day someone (possibly Rosie herself) read a post from good ol' Greasespot that said how wonderful the Fall Concert had been (I think this would have been 2003 or 2004?? Not sure.) The part that stood out to me was that whoever had posted this (if it ever happened) had said something about beinng so happy to see "Uncle Howard's smiling face" and how wonderful that concert was. The person relaying the story told me that Rosie had told everyone how great this was, because Greasespot was one of the more hateful internet sites towards twi, and that traffic had slowed down there... and that now they were posting nice things! She closed with this verse: Proverbs 16:17 When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. Did such a post even occur? I have looked.... never found it. Now, that doesn't mean it wasn't posted here by some VPW worshipper. And the thought of Uncle Howard's smiling face while eating a nice greasy cafe breakfast makes me a little bit ill. Better get some more coffee to wash away that nasty Kool-Aid aftertaste.

Shellon, I wanted to throw up when I read your post. I would kill a MF. EVIL. These people are EVIL.

it always kinda seemed like John Rupp was Rosie's lapdog to me. Harassment policy??? I'd like to see that!

EXACTLY...