JavaJane

I did the same thing. Stopped using the jargon and started trying to speak like the people around me - my motive? To make it easier to witness to people. But what happened was that I started to realize how ridiculous we sounded to the rest of the world. I also had taken a writing class with ateacher who was a stickler for not repeating words unnecessarily, which made me even more aware of the repetitiveness of the Way vocabulary. Maybe it marks a separation from the herd when you stop using Way-speak?

I don't know... I'm pretty sure New Knoxville was built over the gateway to hell.

One word... Pathetisad.

It's just so.... arrogant. As if they could take credit somehow if you are doing well, or if you aren't doing well, then they are very spiritual for seeing that you needed their believing. To me it is just like saying "bless you" all the time (the perfect Way saying for every situation! Not sure what to say? Say "bless you!"). This is probably just my personal pet peeve, but I always thought that "bless you" was a little arrogant - as if they had the power to bless me. I thought that was something God did, not twi. I understand using the phrase during a worship service, where the person teaching or leading the group is symbolically speaking a message to the people from God (such as a priest or pastor.) But in twi it was overused and abused. One day at an event I was walking to where we were having our meal. I ran into someone and asked them, "How are you?" He responded automatically, "bless you...." I don't even think he heard what I had said. But, hey... bless you covers everything, right? Now, if I sneeze, I do expect someone to say it. (a la Loki in Dogma.)

that's what I thought, too!

I actually do believe that there is an afterlife now, but it only came after being out for over a year. I've almost trashed all of the twi beliefs I had. I would say I am Christian with some Buddhist overtones. So, really, I don't think there is a word to describe my belief system... But I do believe in God and Jesus. I apologize if I offended anyone. I do not believe in disparaging anyone's personal beliefs (twi excepted... Becuase the belief system is based on a self serving evil man and is run as a corporation to only get people's money.)

That's Uncle Horndog to you! Show some respect!

"cool" is not a term I would EVER associate with HA...

Good one. I had forgotten about that teaching. So weird...

When I was in leadership always said that when people left, the first breakdown in their devil-spirit infested minds was to start believing the dead are alive. (Hmmmm.... Other than believing that VP was the MOG and that twi was the ONE TRUE HOUSEHOLD OF GOD) The first thing I threw out was the Law of Believing. But then again, I am not infested with devil spirits. Or am I? (We did sell the collaterals on eBay and using the money at the CASINO!!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA!). We'll let Linder be the judge of my spiritual condition. What was the first thing you changed in your belief system?

I would call sleeping through a Way Productions concert a blessing!!!

Nah... I just like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog a bit too much. EXACTLY what I was thinking.

I remember being told by one WC jerk that he wouldn't remember any of the bad thing he had done when we were gathered together becuase we would have perfectly renewed minds. I think that is how he dealt with the guilt from being such a jerk for God. I never understood that if we were going before the judgement seat.

Just had this thought... Please forgive me. Maybe VP liked the idea of all the housekeeping girls constantly polishing his knob(s)...?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I was so deceived by all the things going on around me... and I realized that it was ALL THE THINGS going on around me - the huge pile of menial tasks I had to complete in order to be pleasing to God, to earn my rewards in heaven, to keep the adversary from attacking. I was so distracted by trying to be perfect, by trying to live up to the impossible standard that I never even saw how ridiculous it all was. Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 3:1-3 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? I don't generally quote a lot of scripture anymore, but I can tell you who "bewitched" me to follow the works of the law (decent and in order, attend every meeting, don't fellowship with unbelievers, mark and avoid those who are outside the gates of Zion, dress codes, pray for this, SIT for this amount of time every day - and everything listed in the thread called "The Weird Little No-Nos of TWI")... THE WAY INTERNATIONAL. It was all a magic show filled with distractions where we never saw the man behind the curtain, only all the things we had to scramble to do in order to be right with God, while they committed atrocities behind our backs. They separated us from those who saw them for who they were by the practice of Mark and Avoid, and made threats to our safety by telling us all the terrible things that would happen to us if we ever left. Meanwhile, I just kept cleaning, drinking the Kool-Aid, attending meetings and trying (in vain) to live up to the standard.

The Auditorium decor really reminded me of what happens when someone who has no taste tries to look like they have taste. Sorta like when a white trash girl dresses up for prom. It's a pretty dress, but it still just looks wrong.

what? They taught us that Ham had sex with his mother... Or his father... I can't remember. Probably a good thing.

It always seemed to me that the endless cutting of grass, washing of walls, cleaning of toilets, polishing of brass (in an auditorium no one shows up to), vacuuming of clean carpets, and trimming of shrubs was what "good stewardship" meant. In other words, keep the people busy on the little stuff so they won't notice the big stuff. And since there were people who were willing to do this in exchange for next to nothing, our ABS was being saved and used to "move the word." Slave labor - your Abundant Sharing At Work! I never really understood how the clean brass in the auditorium second level was being a "good witness" when no one ever went up there EXCEPT to clean it.

Thanks, OldSkool!

It was always "once you get to the next level, you will really get the meat of the Word." Just one more class, just one more commitment, just one more... almost there... almost there... I have learned more about spiritual matters in the past two years AWAY from twi than I have the entire time I was in. Once I let all the confinements of twi's rules on HOW things were supposed to work, and all the categories of "devil spirits" that caused different things to happen, once I got away from that complete BLACK AND WHITE, GOOD AND EVIL thought patterns, I started to see that things are not always one way or the other. Life is so beautiful with many colors and nuances. Things are complicated, and you don't always get the same answer for similar situations. Once I saw that God just wants me to love Him/Her/It and love my neighbor as myself, things became so much simpler. I just try to love people the best I can. God shows me the rest when I need it, and most of the time I can figure it out on my own. There is so much more good in the world than twi would ever want us to believe. That's why they put discerning of spirits at the top rung of spiritual maturity... they try to get people to look for the (devil) spirits - to look for evil, which of course is all they see. The Bible says that there are twice as many angels still with God than are with the devil. The Bible even talks about other spiritual beings other than those angels. And the Bible says that there are unbelievers who walk according to the law (Romans 2:14)... But we never learned about the good, only the evil. The whole thing was just to get your money and get you paranoid so you could go out and "confront the world" with how much better you were than those who weren't fully instructed, because you could see the evil better than they could. Sounds like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, just a little, doesn't it? And how knowledge puffeth up?

It always seemed like we would just be working our heavenly heinies off when we got to heaven... I heard a joke once that went something like this: A man went up to heaven, and St Peter showed him around. There were many sections of heaven. The came to a room where there were a bunch of people dancing, St. Peter explained that these were the Baptists who had never been allowed to dance while they were on earth. The next room had a bunch of people celebrating birthdays. St. Peter explained that this was the Jehovah Witnesses who had never been allowed to celebrate their birthdays on earth. Then they came to a room full of people sleeping. St Peter explained that these were the Way Believers. I thought it was funny at the time. Now I just think it's sad. I remember, too that there was a big discussion of whether we would still be married in heaven, and if we would still have sex. And there were some people who said we wouldn't be able to remember who we were when we got there because all of our former lives would be passed away. I always thought, "what is the point of any of this?"

Basically, if you question us, then we don't want you around, huh? And isn't it funny how he still thought he had some sort of authority over you? Wha... what?

Me again... Dang, I am CHATTY tonight! When my husband and I went to our branch coordinators (WC couple) to talk with them about becoming their assistants, we both aired some concerns over how things were going in the ministry (things getting boring, no one was coming anymore, etc), and then also went over some of the bad things that had happened with us under leadership from the WD field and other past crap. The wife of the couple just looked at us through our long list of complaints and smiled. Smiled, and sorta looked like her brain had gone to her happy place where these complaints could not be heard. When we were done, she still sat there and smiled, then looked at her husband, who was trying to formulate a response... she looked back at us again, and smiled in her Stepford WC wife way until her dear husband finally found his voice. I think she might have been in shock. I know he was. The lights were on, and no one was home. It was the exact face I would expect someone who had been brainwashed by a cult to make when confronted with the idea that they are in a cult. Complete shutdown of all mental faculties. I think it was part of the WC training - remove all independent thought from them, especially the women... and turn them into Way Corpse, the Walking Dead of the Way. One of my big clues things were wrong was when I overheard a Region Coordinator (TH) telling someone that there was a military couple in a remote area of the region that hadn't been to fellowship recently. He couldn't understand why this military family moved to this area. Hello?? They were STATIONED THERE? And from what I understood from the conversation I had with the couple, the soldier had a choice - go to Iraq on a third tour, OR move to a remote area with no fellowship. Gee, which would you choose?? But according to TH, they really didn't have much commitment to the Word.

I actually have a lot of respect for the guy who talked to the jerk. He's a good man and he and his family are out now. He tried to explain to this idiot that it wasn't appropriate behavior and that I had evry right to be uncomfortable with it. The guy was so dense he just didn't understand why it was wrong or disrespectful. My excuse for my WD coordinator?He was a moron. And I'm sure he saw leadership treat other women the same way. And he had the idiocy to hint to me that we should get married because he liked the way I "submitted". GAG. No thank you. I have a real man now. He likes it that I don't submit, that I have my own mind, and that we have an equal partnership. I really bear that coordinator (for all his stupidity and idiotic embarassment he put me through) no ill will. He was just an idiot.

it's ok if you chuckle. I don't mind. I tend to use the cafe as a place to vent wheni need it, and I laugh and cry as I write and read here. It's a catharsis of sorts. And it might actually help someone who needs it. I'm better now than I ever have been. I have an actual support system in place around me with genuine caring people... But thy weren't there through all the crap I went through. The cafe is full of people like me who can completely relate!!