ChattyKathy

I know it may seem I'm hung up on this but I'm convinced there is more abuse hidden in our families than all the reported abusers combined (since first reported case). What of all of them? We need to know what the signs are in our children. And we need to be willing to lose a friend because we were wrong. You could be right!

How do we deal with the grandfathers that no one turns in?

Moon Girl and Tom, I'm so sorry. I was on another computer and missed y'all's email notifications of post. Nope it wasn't that awful show. :blink: And your honey emailed me today and I swear he is smitten with ya! Uh, that last line was not to you Tom....lmao!!!!!

What a tough one as our dear hostess would bear out. The passion that fuels this subject makes it more difficult on us all. I can't look at it through some of your eyes that weren't sexually abused as a child. What did it feel like to grow up as a young girl or boy and not look at every day with the potential of something more because as you grew so did the dynamics of the situation? Or is that selfish of me? Haven't each one of you lived through some sort of personal h3ll? But this one is different isn't it? Because it's our children and grandchildren that we see when we read these accounts and it boils us inside until we feel we could with our own strength and nothing more kill someone. All I can do is be honest and say I could not kill a man that has hurt me. I would give anything not to have the memories but his death would only make my life harder. And because I can't see his death there has to be another way to assure that he never hurt another. And I don't know what. (he is dead btw) Pond wrote: ...a child who is molested often has problems with sex in their own life Bow tie, they end up having sex very young and with just about anyone.. no boudaries where taught or kept for them. ophra speaks of this often.. I can only speak experientially on that one. I was engaged during a good piece of high school and married a month after graduation. Not all of us took on lovers. You can also grow up thinking lacking things of yourself and blaming yourself for being there without even allowing the man to carry the blame (or what portion is his). At 4 how could I be to blame for what he did! I cannot understand this thing where an abused person would grow up to do the same. I cannot even in my own private time come up with a single thought or image of sexually molesting a child. Even when I forced myself this morning when reading this thread could I see the image of doing that. I saw a little girl who cried herself to sleep because she hated her secret and she hated herself. What insanity makes a person who lived through h3ll ever put a child through the same? What is that? I can't even begin to understand. Or maybe I can. I could write a research paper on my own dang life. But it couldn't be completed because I'm not there yet and some of you have witnessed some of my brokenness and were generous of heart towards me not to announce it. You do know I love you for that I hope. So the potential to abuse is there as facts attest. It makes no sense to me at all. I'm one of those people Satori and you know quiet well I could never hurt a child. And I knew it wasn't me you spoke of but I'm still one of those people so I've spoken yet some more. And I know there are real people that fit that description so if we say let's just kill them we'd be killing someone like myself that shows their brokenness differently than me. But I still can't imagine it. How could I put a little child through what I lived through. My gawd I can't get there!

OMG I hated that show. Nope. :) Oops, I'd started the post before Moon Girl (or is that Moon Pie?) posted. :)

I love that Zep song! Should I play my version of the Lemon Song? Um, nevermind I can't seem to find it. :unsure:

I love doggies but nope. It has hair though.

Socks that is awesome. Especially around the 25-26 mark and growing from there. Oh yeah! Nice, real nice!

Sudo, Welcome back and I love the picture of your family! My link includes a non-human in the cast. :) Ted and Moon Girl, ....to you both! Geo, SaintGeorge, Yes it was mid 60's actually.

I just can't do this as much as I want to. I've typed and deleted for the past 15 minutes.

It's an addiction for the abusers. What it brings to them I can't know. But it draws them back. Something needs to become more important to them than the follow through with children.

I do not believe any child could be introduced to the world of sex and it not have a deep and lasting affect. I can tell you (well....anyway) that I know it and I was definitely broken. I was introduced to things you shouldn't know about your body as a child. Some victims with similar understandings may even think well that's not a bad thing as an adult right?! But there is no way anyone can not be broken. So what do they do with it? I got married with my high school graduation gown on nearly. I would be protected I thought. That's it. No more for now.

I was distracted quite deeply I guess. But I'm back. I watched this show and it had something I really love in it. HERE

happy st paddy's day to you also dear one

I'm thankful that each generation seems to be more aware of things of this nature and nothing has helped that like the internet of course. But my mother probably never knew to even look for such things in a 4 year old. Today she would be more apt to look just because she has grown in a society where we know horrible things happen to good people all the time. I wouldn't have wanted my dad's dad to have given up his life for what he did to me. And I doubt he had a free ticket anyway because I can't believe he didn't suffer insanity in other areas of his life as well. But I think we err when we assume it to belong to a certain church. In truth it lies within the walls of our own homes way more, way more! And many you'll never hear about!

I can't thank you enough for those words bowtwi!

I believe that more children are abused than we've any idea of. I once knew a family that had a little girl about the same age as I when my abuse began. One night when I was visiting her family and her daddy said time to lay down now ***** I saw her little body stiffen. The circumstances were open to me to approach this little girl without parents overhearing me. I took her little hand and asked her quietly if daddy hurt her when they lay down (I took the risk) and she replied he tickled her and she didn't like it. I asked her if mommy knew and her response was no-no we can't let mommy know she would be so mad at me. I waited until daddy and daughter had retired and told my friend we needed to get high because I needed to talk to her. She was insulted at first. Then she flew out of her seat and into their bedroom. Both daddy and daughter were asleep so she came back and said I had to be wrong. I told her I was sorry I brought something so horrible up but she needed to make sure I was wrong. Within 6 months they were divorced and she broke off her friendship with me as well. I guess even though I'd brought up something she needed to know she couldn't separate me from the abuse. She never knew I'd been abused. I would have killed myself before I touched a child. And I have never ever had the slightest pull to enter that world. If a man gets off being with a child you can't fix him with words and medicine. His sickness is spiritual I believe.

Have a cup on me. I just couldn't resist. Happy Birthday!

(((you)))

Sudo, I know it's late now but I will forward you my son's email I just got with his suggestions for CA... :blink:

You made me smile. Cause I get to say it's not till Sunday....

I don't mean to take over your thread excath but I need to talk a little more. The man that began my sexual abuse was my dad's dad and since I'd been a bastard child born from a rape to my mother I really wasn't his kin after all. (yeah, like that matters at all I know) He was a kindly type of man. A pillar in the community and church and all seemed oblivious to the man I knew. From the first time he violated me until I had the courage to stop him at 9 he was always aroused when around me. His wife was a miserable person and it's doubtful they had anything to do with each other. Besides he made sure I was readily around for projects or special trips away from home. It was like I was alone in the world. No one knew what he did and I believed they wouldn't have cared anyway. He had told me I was special but others wouldn't understand. I never talked to my cousins to see if they had exposure to it. I could never have let them know it took me that long to get the courage to stop him. I can't believe it was just me though. Even though I was the one he seemed to include in his plans I just can't believe it was only me. He was sick, it wasn't my fault. And you've no idea how I have struggled with that and in fact it is my present efforts to purge some things that has brought it to the point I can't hide it away anymore. I wouldn't have wanted him dead. But he shouldn't have been allowed to just walk around and live like everyone else when in private he was destroying my childhood. Did you know that when you introduce a child to sex their bodies will in time respond to it? That may have been just a little too open.

Hiwayman, pepper indeed. Sudo, you have it too. So I guess we know it is Police Woman. And she was called Pepper and SaintGeorge described Angie on the previous page. But I still don't know who the singer of your link is Sudo.

You two are very fun. My mom said for my first birthday party I got tired early on and took a nap while my little friends had a party without me. I try not to miss them anymore.