Galen

Girl From Oz: "I also like the ones that are close to the skin, sort of like an elongated brief that goes down the leg slightly." Mormon men wear those things. "Personally I like to wear satin and lace undies." Ooh OOoh my goodness, am I going to have dreams tonight.

HAPe4me: Very well done. And some good thoughts as well. " "invest in what you know" " Good idea. ". . . I do not share the view of a coming realestate crash, but watch where you buy and what you buy." Same here. "I personally do not wish to be a landlord, so I do not intend to keep these properties" It worked out for us, but it is not for everone. ". . . These steps have helped me more than meet Galens formula, but I wonder if your formula is adequate in today's economics Galen. Is this a recent formula or one from your past training?" It shows things differently according to your level of income and cost of living. It is a bit of a 'sliding scale'. It should still be good. I got it from the Navy in 2001, at the time one of my 'hats' was 'Command Financial Specialist' and 'IRS-VITA Tax planning Specialist'.

shazdancer: "Just moved here myself two weeks ago, from the Nutmeg State, which is like Massachusetts, only less so. I am in the L/A area. I'm loving it! I have yet to see a moose, but hope it will only be from far, far away. Just got back from the Moxie festival. Now I know why Moxie is NOT the #1 drink!" Wonderful. I am in escrow purchasing some land in Old Town. We look forward to the day that we can also move to Maine.

Jonny Lingo: Obviously any adult in charge of children should try their best to maintain an adult decorum and mature attitude at all times, and the handle their children with care, love and honesty. "Galen, I really hadn't thought about how a person could be tempted by these potentially unruly kids who came out of terrible situations and then became very hard to handle as you have explained." While I dont thnk that I have any REALLY BAD children. I have attended post-licensing training courses, and have sat alongside other foster-parents who have been placed with sexual predators as young as 8 (those kids had to be trained to be that way), Arsonists, and a real problem has been HIV posetive kids. The state workers claim that only select care-givers and state authorities can be legally told when a child has one of these conditions; since we foster-parents are not on 'their team' we are not told. Social workers routinely claim that to tell us about these conditions would be in violation of federal law. Of course we argue that as primary care-givers, we are the primary team for that child and need to know. It is bad when the state knowingly puts other children at danger. "It certainly does not excuse these people's behavior in that story, but it is possible that they were tempted into it by "crazed little crack kids"." I have picked up the phrase (from social workers and foster parents alike) "Demon spawn" or "Hell Spawn". Either phrase usually gets a chuckle from DCF. "I guess if this was the case, then maybe they should not have taken on so many foster kids?" True. Certainly the hardest thing to say, the most difficult phrase to pronounce, when a social worker calls you at night saying "we have a little 6yr girl, just got her from the police station, we just need a home for her for probably 1 month maybe 2, as we find relatives for her, I am calling from my car, I just turned onto your street, I am one block away, can you take her?" And the hardest phrase to pronounce is: "No". "How many foster kids do you have Galen?" We adopted one in 1992 (FAS), he is 14 now. We currently have a sybling group of 3 (11yr girl (sexual abused and parentified (she was the custorial parent to her younger brothers for 5 years), 10yr boy (ADHD, ADD, RAD), 8 yr boy (Bipolar, RAD)). We have had various others placed with us over the years. Here in Conn, and in Washington State, and while overseas. This sybling group we hope to adopt. The courst had terminated all bio-parental rights before they were placed with us. Then after coming to us, the courts voided the that and re-established the bio-parental rights. So we had to re-initiate weekly visitations with each bio-parent and grand-parent. Bio-mom is mentaly institutionalized, 3 bio-dads are incarcerated for felonys (one of whom was the abuser of the girl). But the courts know best so mandatory visits were done, even over the protests of the children. Now the bio-parents rights have been re-terminated (due to further causes), and we precede with the adoption. But in the mean time, whole new cans of worms have been re-opened mentally for each child. "Seems like a rough situation. I think that if I were doing such a service, I would cut back on the amount of foster kids so that I could be as effective as possible with just a couple of them. Too many would make it harder to deal with, at least for me anyway..." Good idea. With 135,000 children awaiting placement in America, How about giving us a hand? :-) Then there would be less needed to be done.

mj412: "I also have seen a very large amount of abuse in the name of state care... it is not just children it is the disabled as well housed and fed worse than animals for a life time." True. "my point? yes they should not abuse and they got caught but the system we have is geared towards "keeping the family together" that is the purpose and agenda so by the time a child is released from a system they are 18 years old and probably having children to try to make the family they never had and it starts all over again with another generation." Also very ture. "who eles would do it? sure many claim they would and could be better YET they are not in the trenches of real life with the system or these real live people and their behaviours." I see many around me (includig my own relatives) who would rather spend $40k - $65k to purchase children overseas and bring them to America, neglecting those products of the American system. "I have no solution , I have done my best as have many others to make changes in a very complex and sorry state of affairs." I only wish that I knew of a workable solution. ". . . . "the system" can in reality do nothing at all to help these souls." Yeah. "If you feel Im wrong and bitter and whatever judgement has you ready to attack then I thank God for that and say use that energy that passion and be the one who can and does try to help" I truly did not mean any insult to you, nor any attack. You are wonderful, thank you. I know that in TWI it got to be empty saying, however I still feel it: "You are god's best. In the situation wherin you find yourself, You are likely to be the Best person available to help those around you. If there is ever going to be a 'Man of God' to bless those around you, it is going to be you. If someone else is in their dark-hour, you are there and ready to be their ministering angel."

I don’t know. On one hand, we as a society desperately need more foster families. One the other hand, most states ignore the needs of foster families, refuse to train them, and ignore their pleas for therapy for the children. I was at a support group meeting last night; a friend of ours had a new baby. Each month she never brings in the same baby, each time it is a different one. This one is one week old and addicted to crack. She has 7 foster children in her home. They just have a hard time saying no to these kids, abused, addicted, neglected and twisted. Most of these children will go right back to there bio-parents, as soon as the bio's get out of prison or treatment. At least for a while, until the children get removed again. These children should truly be loved and cared for and understood. It is hard sometimes to love them; it is way difficult to understand them. Many times I see behavior that I am sure we will never understand. Did this come from a previous rapist? Did it come from someone leaving him in dirty diapers? And the state will not tell us when a child has already been convicted of being a predator. We have been foster parents since 1992, but what we have learned has been learned by doing. Social workers dont care and they dont help. If a child is not hurting others (and they can't dump him on an un-suspecting foster placement) then he will not receive help from the system. Nobody should ever treat children the way that those parents in the story appear to have treated theirs. However we have seen ourselves at near break-down because we are surrounded by out-of-control hell-spawn. Were those parents getting any support? How many months does it take to get children into medical care? How many years to see a shrink? Each time a child needs stitches how long is the investigation? I have a boy now that loves to ride a bicycle into on-coming cars, he loves to fly in the air when they hit him, he loves the attention he gets in the ambulance, and everyone insists that it was not his fault the car hit him, each time one hits him. He has been hit in such a manner three times since he has lived with us. But can we get him to see a shrink? The state wont allow it. At the support group last night, they said that they had a new babysitter and to bring our kids. As it turned out it was two college girls watching the kids, so we left 4 of ours during the meeting, after a 2 hour meeting, they quit, they wont be watching kids anymore. :-) I can guarantee it, we have seen it before. I don’t know what the answer is. Many of these kids need full-time residential care. I write this sitting in a chair, in front of my computer, blocking the bedroom door of our boys. In a few hours Bonnie will get up and relieve me, so I can get some sleep. I spray salt-water into all the door hinges so they do squeak louder, so we can monitor their movements. In the bathroom, the soaps and towels and toothpastes are all locked up. We un-lock and allow out one bar of soap at a time. Each child takes a towel into the bathroom with them, they come back out with it. Otherwise chaos reins. Yesterday I had to re-wrap one of the mattresses with plastic, the previous wrapping had been ripped off, so he could urinate onto the mattress. As it turned out, we had not been watching close enough, and he piled up all the clothing of all three boys, into a pile in their bedroom and he urinated on the pile. Marking it. Reading that story, no child should ever be treated like that. In theory.

Our world is certainly made up of completely different cultures, many of which are in direct disagreement.

Watered Garden: "First . . . Second . . . " Agreed. "I think this chart makes it even worse than it is. There's enough bad to be said without adding to it." True. Making up completely false accusations is pretty low. PFAL teaches that salvation is by confessing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and believing in my heart that God raised Him from the dead. As per 10:9-10. by grace available to anyone who beleives, not anything exclusive to TWI.

Zshot: "A couple things that I am factoring in for my retirement are: SS, Hopefully it still be around and I can get something out of it..." You can request from SSA a printout of their information on you. It will show how much they think you have contributed each year, and how much you would recieve assuming that you continue contributing until you turn; 65, 67, 70 or 75. I requested it once and they send it to me annually now. "Retired Reservist pay, I retired from the Army Reserves, I will get a few bucks from that after I turn 62." Until SSA kick-in, at which point the amount of the DOD pension is ... (compared to the amount of your SSA and ... I man I forget how they do the smoke and mirrors, take the TAP course and it is all explained. (TAP - the Military's "how to retire" course, required for all retirees). I had to attned TAP to be able to retire from the Navy, but it is offered quarterly at most bases, and you are welcome to attend at any point of your military career. "I am hoping to retire from civil service and will get a retirement pension from that as well." Double-dipping is good. "aside from planning to have my house paid off, savings, investments etc... in short, I will be living off tax dollars." Always a good option (assuming that USA is still around). "Of course there might be a future in passing out shopping carts at Walmart for me in the future..." This option was discussed a great deal at my TAP class.

Mary- I am sorry that you feel that way. I have began to rather enjoy reading your posts. I have found that even while many regulars here on Greasespot do carry very negative attitudes, some others are fairly nice. I hope everything works out for you, good luck and May G-d bless you.

While a topic that most people dont consider, it is a topic which I beleive we should consider every now and again. Bonnie and I did, starting when we were about 30 and again every few years. Such discussions helped me to maintain my commitment to stay in the Navy, and to invest on the side (after our tithe). I am glad now that we did.

Tom- Too bad. I know that I needed something to settle my nerves as I approached mid-life, and at least doing that and considering where I was in terms of readiness for retirement; helped me. Maybe it gave me some kind of reading as to where I was and whether I needed to focus on doing further investing or not. Mary- You are sweet. I am glad that it was able to help. I find that I still have lots of junk from years of counseling, just glad that some part of it is usefull for you.

What is your net worth? Add up everything you own (including: pensions, and the value of equity in real estate) this is your Gross Assets. Now add up everything you still owe, this is your liability. Gross assets minus (-) liabilities equals (=) Net worth. In theory the closer you get to retirement, your Net Worth should be getting closer to what you want it to be for your retirement. They say that your ‘Ideal’ Net Worth, as formulated by the following: Your age times Annual Gross Income divided by ten. This is the target amount each age group should be achieving to reach ‘Affluence’ by age 60. If you’re 25 and earning $35k (25 X 35k / 10 = 87,500), then your current Net Worth should be about $87.5k. If you’re 30 and earning $40k (30 X 40k / 10 = 120k), then your current Net Worth should be around $120k. If you’re 40 and earning $50k (40 X 50k / 10 = 200k), then your current Net Worth should be around $200k. If you’re 50 and earning $50k (50 X 50k / 10 = 250k), then your current Net Worth should be around $250k.

It would seem to me that GS is going strong and vital. It still generates threads and debate and arguments, so it is working. I was not away of the phrase "jumping sharks" but now I have learned, thanx. I think that such is the purpose of most BBS' since I first began posting on them in the '80s.

Zixar: "_That's just it, Paw. Mike is just as convinced he has some invisible audience for his PFAL idolatry. Doesn't mean it exists, either. No real way to tell unless those folks speak up._" Must we really continue to pick on Mike?

Tom Strange: "got the price list in the mail... if anybody is interested..." Sir; Is there any possibility of you scanning and posting such on this board?

reikilady: "Love the jumping over the broom and the ribbon fastening part. I also like how the bride and groom often times don't wear shoes, depending on the weather." She was barefoot, though I dont think he was. It was very nice. Lots of incense. "Tradition also dictates that the agreement to stay together gets renewed after a year and a day. Some people actually write down a contract about their marriage and it isn't about a prenuptial agreement." I have not heard about this part, though I will ask. I am to perform a wedding for this bride's sister in September. I understand that it will be in a church.

WordWolf: "Some attended "sky-clad", no kidding? This sounded fairly PUBLIC. (Lots of attendees.) Did they think they were Betazoids or something?" At a Connecticut State Park (Devils Hopyard) though with signs directing everyone to the "Pagan Wedding" down past all the other parking areas, at the last parking area and with a pavilion. You likely would not be following the signs that far in unless this was your destination. Only a couple of ladies wore shoes, most were barefoot. Most people were in costume. Most men wore boots. It was public, though not really on display. No Betazoids that I know of. A very nice wedding and lots of people having fun. No kidding.

Oakspear: "I have been told by pagans of my acquaintance that they do not "give the bride away" at their handfastings." That could be. This couple had re-written everything, and had combined 4 seperate ceremonys into one. Thus the need for 4 separate Officants. I just thought it was interesting. Thanks

Mary Cate: "Got the boxers in the mail and have been wearing them. FAN F-ing TASTIC. I am ordering more and never buying regular women's underwear again. " Good for you. When I wear underwear at all (which is getting more and more rare) I wear boxers. I do find them fairly comfortable. I am glad that you also are finding something that you like. Just do us all a favour and DONT sew shut the fly. We men prefer it that way. :-)

Mary- Ginger is fine, that incident was a while ago. It hurt the muscles along her back and spine. She could not raise her head. After laying down and resting, she would wimper when she had to get up again. All the children denied having done anything, and immediately Ginger would growl at all of the children. But within a week, she was not growling so much, and only did not like Tim. Now she is much better, and the only time, we can see any difference is when she has a bone or treat. She will not let Tim in the room with her if she has a bone. I usually just laugh at Tim, he is being treated as he should be. After a few months the kids did all admit to what had happened (except for Tim). I dont care, he is sadistic, mean and mischevious. I had never actually combined those words together, until last week. During the intake interview with the 'residential treatment facility', the counselor was interviewing Bonnie and I about Tim's behavior, when he tried to summarize Tim's personality he said 'sadistic, mean and mischevious'. Bonnie and I were just looking at each other and recognized that yes that described the kid. Tim is only going in for treatment during the day on week days, 9-1. Later during treatment it may be seen as needed to make his treatment residential. Tim's Attachment Disorders dont really allow him to become 'attached' to other people, so he really does not view us as family, nor even friends for that matter.

We went to a ‘pagan’ wedding ceremony this past week. They called it a hand-fasting. And so as not to offend anyone THEY called it a ‘pagan’ ceremony, I did not coin it as such. The bride and some of her friends are friends of ours. They handed us a 6 page program, which was very nicely done. I read it while waiting for the ceremony to start and I noticed that it included 4 different officiants (one Justice of the Peace, one High Priest, one High Priestess and one Reverend) it also had a total of 29 participants who each had at least one speaking part. Each officiant led a separate part of the over-all ceremony. During the Justice of the Peace’s part of the ceremony, the wedding party marched through a covered bridge and to an area in front of the seated congregation. They started with asking for what man is giving away the bride. Even with all the equal rights issues of the other ceremonies, I find it amazing that when they re-wrote each ceremony to be able to combine them together and they still had the bride being symbolized as property to be transferred from one owner onto a new owner. Over all we did like the ceremonies, as we did the general feasting afterwards. It included: calling the spirits of the four corners to bless the union, fastening their hands with ribbons, jumping over a broom, sharing a cup, lighting candles, incense offerings, water offerings and earth offerings. I did not see if the cup-sharing was of the traditional Scottish-Pictish method. There was belly-dancing to entertain the congregation and a lot of food and music. Some attended ‘sky-clad’, others wore medieval style clothing, I wore a kilt. My question is in ceremonies that others attend is it still that common for the bride to have her previous ‘owner’ (father, or previous husband) to give her away to her new ‘owner’?

Weout1200: "I was married in twi by twi clergy (who was later slandered after he left) in a twi ceremony. We've watched twit leader$#!t attack & actually split married folk for ridiculous reasons backed by twisted scripture; we were hit BEFORE we got maried 'cause she was a "advanced class grad" & I wasn't (GASP!). And yes, the missus acknowleges me as "da head", but we also know that she has strengths in areas & I have mine. We discuss, talk over, and we agree; no "Me-um heap big chief, you do me say." Bonnie was an advanced Class grad when I met her, I was not. At the time, she was not allowed to attend twig, because she did not want to go Corpse. We hooked up at a truckstop, together we attended twigs, but we avoided the twig whose leader who had banished her. We were married by a Methodist Preacher, but we filled the chapel with TWI followers. We have also watched as leaders attacked and split married folk many times for bizarre reasoning. But then again, anytime we exposed ourselves to Way-Corpse Leaders, we usually got yelled at for something. I did not care most of the time, just went back and continued leading the twig. If they cant be bothered to even visit the twigs then who cares about what they want to yell about. Bonnie acknowledges me as 'head'. I am her "Lord and Master, and I have her permission to say so". Obviously we discuss issues; she is smart and I want her help, experience and inspiration. This is '04, so I guess we have been married for 23 years now, she says that I have made 4 'final' decisions. (I dont keep count, she does). :-)

While the original topic here was the mechanics of a water-closet, towards the recent end it did twist a little. I should add that among our demon-spawn, the middle boy (Tim, 10) finally got into treatment by a Psychiatrist last week. He has been seeing a therapist for 'play-therapy' for the past 2 years. The therapist has not been able to diagnose him, nor to be able to resolve any issues that he has. Of this group of syblings, he was the first one that I noticed needed serious help. In the first week with us, I caught him jabbing other children in the face with a sparkler, and then he injured our dog by hitting it with a large stick across the dog's back. It has been a long two years, but we finally got him in to see an actual Psychiatrist this past week. So now we hope to see the various issues get better. (feces fights, urinating in the laundry, extorting other children by threatening to urinate in their beds, injuring the dog, injuring other chidlren (he held his little brother's hand in a blender which needed over 100 stitches), he rides his bicycle into on-coming cars, he insists that anyone that he can drive his bicycle into is at fault, Bonnie is upset because he insists that 'telling-storys' is not a lie unless you can prove with witnesses that it is a lie, the list goes on.) But anyway we are excited as DCF has finally agreed to allow him to be treated by someone who might be able to help.

rascal: "It`s like this friend I know..." "I think she is completely sold out...totally believes what she does..." "But hey...she`s innocent right? Because it`s new york life that is behind her...they are the ones pocketing all the money....so she`s really just prostituting for the insurance co." Each man is innocent in his own eyes. Over the years, I have many times had long discussions with insurance conmen. I was blessed once when a friend in college photo-copied a passage from the California State penal code, it was the part saying that gambling is illegal. It had to describe gambling and define it. For every inch of paragragh trying to describe gambling, there was yet another paragragh saying that if it is done by an 'insurance' company it is legal. Making a wager based on chance, wherein the 'house' is using statistics to hedge their bet and give them an advantage. "I feel like a whore...." No you are not. What about a police man who chases 'crooks' for doing something that the policemen himself knows should not be illegal. But when it all goes to court, the 'crook' will spend years in prison. Lawyers do it. Many of us prostitute ourselves out, against our own beleifs, and in violation of what we know to be right.