Galen

vickles: "Galen, I belong to a group ..." Yes thank you very much, that does look helpful in fixing up older buildings, as we have done with each apartment buidlign that we have purchased over the years [California, Scotland, Washington, and Connecticut] always these old structures need work. I just have terribly little experience in building new buildings. Thanks

Great idea all. Got myself a well drilled. No pump but at least I have a well now. They plan to come out and install a pump this Friday. We have a foudnation contractor contracted to build the foundation now (They kept weirding out over the quantity of steel rebar that the plans called for). But now to get the project back within budget, I have had to cancel the contractor who was ligned up for 'erect' the building, so I will be doing that part myself now [with the help of friends). All of the parts of now piled up on my driveway, The steel griters are huge and will need a crane to lift. I will certainly invite anyone and everyone to come over and share some beer and steaks with us when it is partially completed. Our youngest son (Matthew) is up here now with me for the summer. When I came up, I had dragged a kayak out onto our creek bank for easy access, but Matthew spend ove an hour and could not find it. I went with him, and foudn that the ferns and brush had grown up above chest height, so we had difficulty finding our kayak. Matthew has since weedwhacked a path 8 feet wide all the way to our creek. I would have have been so much concerned but to cross the creek you have to swim overwise without the boat. So at this time, to gain access to our river frontage the kayak does come in handy. I will let you guys know how it is coming along as the weeks continue. See ya. Galen

I have the plans to the foundation with two seperate 'foundation contractors' now. They have both had the plans since last week. I go by each of their places every weekday, but neighter of them has had the time to work up an estimate. I can not really do much else right now, just waiting to get a foundation built. Man, how frustrating! I have been spending my time, cutting down trees, stacking firewood, burning the brush and roto-tilling the soil, got to clear 5 acres. It looks so different going from a thick forest cover with no sunlight reaching the ground, to a clear pasture. I got electricity last week, and a well-driller was out yesterday. He should be able to drill me a well next week. The phone company is now lined-up, but their delay is about 30 days. I think I have been able to re-locate 8 beaver so far, chasing them away from where I want to build, they are so a pain. I have a series of levies they made this spring, 3 feet high and holding water. I came home last night from running an errand, and I started to light-off a pile of brush, when a dark shape began moving 20 feet from me, this huge moose scared the heebies out of me. My German Shepherd was not any better, it took me pointing out the moose before she would even come out from under the motorhome. Got to go.

krysilis: "There must be a creative non threatening way of saying "I want to talk to you"! That seems to strike fear in our hearts because of the cult we spent so much time with." Perhaps an agreed upon signal? I dont think that Bonnie and I have any real problems in talking, we just start. Today I called her (first, had to drive into the city (Bangor) to get a signal on my cellphone) she had just gotten up and was working over her first cup of coffee. I knew that her new work schedule has her working grave-yard shift, so I knew she would likely be sleeping in till to noon. But we had a very nice communique, we both discussed what problems we are each experiencing and how we each felt about these issues. I think that we are very 'like-minded' and open with each other. She may be visiting Maine this weekend, and she wanted my inputs to what she should pack. Maybe it is just due to us having been together since 1980, but I dont see our communication as a problem.

AHAT: "I talked to my construction guy and he said that for the amount of work to be done, he thought that was an excellent price." Thanks "He also remarked he wouldn't want to do the work himself." Smart man.

vickles: "I think trust and respect is so important in a relationship. ... It can carry you through even the menopausal times, I would think." I agree, without the trust and mutual respect aspect, marriage wjould be far more difficult. I can see now as we are in finishing our first decade of the 'menopause thing', that without the trust and respect marriage would be darn near impossible. I think that it has also helped with me being Mister Mom this past three years. Perhaps more husbands should try being 'Mr Mom' to five kids for a few years. :-)

thanks

Oakspear: "Women expect men to be able to pick up all the non-verbal cues, and figure out that there is a problem without being told. "If you can't see it yourself, then I'm not going to tell you" is a familiar refrain. ... Men expect women to be able to outline for us exactly what the problem is, in detail. If you don't mention it, then it's not a problem. If you do tell us, and we take action that we think fixes the problem, if you don't tell us, we think it's fixed." LOL Very true. I was very fortunate, early in our marriage, my wonderful wife realized that if she wanted to communicate something to me, that she needed to say it verbally. It has helped to clear up any mis-understandings in what each of us expects from the other.

rascal: "Agreed Vickles, we are in a new era where there is no shame to divorce. We are no longer required to stay in a bad marriage and just keep a *stiff upper lip*." I agree that there does not seem to be any 'shame' to divorce today, however there is still a rather large economic stigma. I have counseled and advised dozens of men coming out of divorce over the years. [they were sent to me when they recieved the legal paperwork and court decree]. Often times the 'process' of the divorce ruins a guy's credit rating, maxes out his credit limit, empties the bank, and attaches large portions of a guy's salary. As late as 2001, I have seen alimony decrees set at levels higher than the gross monthly income of men. [well okay, I helped one guy in 2001, but dozens in the years preceding that]. It is fine with me, if a female decides that she wants to walk away from a marriage. But my goodness, do it politely. To steal everything that a man owns, and take his career from him, often leaving him living on the street, is just very mean. While I understand that commonly males file for divorce, I just have never seen it happen, and as such I have always seen the demoralizing effects that divorce have on servicemen. Better yet, tell your husband to his face. Getting it all in the mail, like so many are done, is really mean. :-)

vickles: "Oen, what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter if the johnny does always jump or not. Thats when the fingers do the walking... :o--> :angel" Fingers will only walk into a mine-field a limited number of times, the limit getting even lower as the decades grow.

oenophile: " The part about the men not being into sex as much came from a thread about how non important sex was with a man when they get older. It seemed a lot of men at that time agreed with it. ... I am 52 and you couldn't prove that statement by me if I am representative of the male of the species in his 50 somethings ..." I would have to imagine that it is not always a matter of losing interest so much as giving up. Attentiveness, wining and dining, catering meals in bed, dating, etc; after a while perhaps ten years or maybe twenty you finally get to the point of saying "why make such an effort? If it has no effect?" "Do you really think that it is you sex crazed women nagging us about going to the doctor to get a prescription that drives the interest in treatments for ED? I think not." LOL "... Can you imagine the difficulty you would have in getting us to go to the doctor (usually another man but even worse if the doc is a woman) and admit that our johnny doesn't always jump up in order to get a permission slip to get the magic elixir of youth?" LOL It seems to me that the best and strongest 'elixir' on earth is a willing female [by willing I do mean one that is sober and still willing]. :-)

vickles: "Galen, your only 45 it will slow down. But as another male stated here he has learned other ways to satisfy a woman... :o-->" Yes, maam. I have a difficult time imagining that it will, but will take your word for it. As to 'satisfying' I really dont see that it will ever be an issue, as such. From my experiences, female libido drop within a couple years after marriage and are fully 'satisfied' without any 'effort'. A few times we have seen where in the early stages of peri-menopause, there were a few times where the phrase 'standing-heat' was appropriate [a phrase among farmers to describe the occurance of a female sexual drive]. Probably once every six months or so, during the first five years of peri-menopause [night sweats, shivers, irregular periods, restlessness, etc], but during the second five years of peri-menopause no phases of 'standing-heat' occured. It is our understanding from the doctors that once the final stages of menopause set in, everything will stabilize, and along with it so will libido. :-)

They built my driveway. It cost me $4600. 350 feet long, and 40 feet wide. It was going to be 20 feet wide, but the guy running the bulldozer wanted to widen it and give me a nice place to park our Motorhome, but as the day wore on and after widening it, he never narrowed it back down again. So the driveway is like 40 feet wide it's entire length. From the county road, it looks like a landing strip. I also got a power-pole installed monday, and the meter and breaker-box installed tuesday. Now we hope to get power hooked up within a few weeks. The contractor that was going to build our foundation, has dragged it on for months without giving us a solid estimate. Finally this week I got him to commit to a specific amount of money. But he wants around $10K more than we had budgeted for the foundation. I have contacted two other foundation contractors, but this late in the season, everyone is already humping with too many jobs. I may end up pouring the foundation myself. I have never done it before but, at least it would save a ton of money. :-)

Outin88!: "Galen, Are you still moving to Old Town? Well be fairly close to you from Howland." Yeah. I have been roto-tilling, digging drainage trenches and burning brush, etc. Burcitous been hurting my elbow, and then I chipped a bone in the palm of my hand. But I am still in the process of making a new home there. Kind of even found a nice group of guys at the American Legion hall there in Old Town too. :-)

I have been staying in Maine for the past few weeks. I just came back down to Ct for a couple days to quickly visit the family and I will be returning this weekend. I hope to get electricity installed in a few weeks, to our new property, maybe then I will be able to visit GS more often. See everyone in Unity in September. :-)

vickles: "... I think a lot of men become used to everything the way it is and live from day to day." I dont know, it could it. I dont think that I have gotten used to 'things', I have desired it to 'change' for twenty years. We are still each other's best friends, and I am sure that we complement each other very well. In most ways we are entirely devoted to each other's best interests. Over the course of 20-some years of marriage, we have rarely lived together under the same roof for more than a few months at a time [due to my career]. "... They don't see their wife unhappy even though its right in front of them." I do see my wife is 'unhappy', but I do think it is this stupid menopause thing. Her peri-menopause has been going on [and off-again] for over ten years now. This latest [beginnning with her second heart-attack in December] has been these periods of continous 'flow' that goes for three to four weeks. "The biggest way to tell that your marriage is falling apart, and this is IMHO, is in the bedroom. If there is nothing there then the marriage is basically over. Just going through the motions of it all." Ordinarily I would agree. Being a guy, and having worked in male-only environments most of my career; frustrated husbands are fairly common in our society. Is that an indication that all those marriages are failing? I dont know. It has appeared to me, as simply a normal function of today's society. So I have simply accepted that level of frustration as 'normal'. :-)

vickles: "... One of my friends stated last weekend that her husband had gotten so needy of her that it was smothering her. With the last kid gone she just can't take it anymore." It has become obvious with me being retired that Bonnie really does not want me living full-time in the same house either. I dont know if I am 'too smothering' or not. Bonnie has stated for years that she has wanted to be able to focus on her own career, without us being transfered every few years. At first, when I retired I was really focused on being 'Mr. Mom', but now without the foster children, we are just down to the one teenager. Since we lost the foster children, Bonnie has been encouraging me to move up to Maine for the summer to build our new home. So I can see where it is possible that at some age ladies are more sensative to 'feeling' smothered: and thus want more 'space'. "Plus, I think men in their fifties aren't into sex as much. Oh they say they are but when it comes down to it....." I beg your pardon? Well, perhaps such is the case seeing all the ads for drugs to help these older guys to get it up. I am only 45, but I find it difficult to imagine the 'drive' going down. "Isn't it that women are in their prime at the age of fourty or fifty where men are in their prime in their twenties?" I have read this as well. I dont entirely beleive it. My observations thus far would include that a female's libido varies with her marital status, and not her age. :-)

The WWW has about everything now days. We recently had to re-finance a mortgage, and things were popping up on the credit check. So I began getting our free credit reports, and trying to 'fix' everything that they had. Old addresses, old bank accounts, old phone numbers, employers, lots of stuff shows up. Plus some totally bogus junk, it took months to get rid of the junk. They even had listed bank loans that we had never done business with ever. Also keep in mind that every city clerk's title-deeds and listings of leins are all 'public domain' too.

Do you have any dealer/mechanics that you trust? Bonnie has a close friend that is a mechanic who recently opened his own dealership, we trust him. We tell him how much we can spend and what we need the car to do, and he will bring stuff back from the auctions. Often when looking at his lot, he will tell us: "No, you dont want that car that model has X wrong with it, ...". Also the value of taking a car in to a mechanic once a year for a 100 point check-up, just can not be over-stated. I would much rather spend $500 on each car, each year on schedule instead of having a car break-down unexpectedly. I tore-up my first couple vehicles, and our children haven done about the same. I dont know your children, but generally I would recommend that they get something really cheap and simple. Knowing that in all likelihood they are going to rip-out the underside while off-roading, or hit a curb too hard and snap some axles, or whatever. Some people need to go through a couple vehicles before they finally settle down and make it worth while to buy cars based upon resale value and mileage. Unless of course your children are wise, mature and take really good care of their things. [Ours dont]. :)-->

One of our friends was telling me [ben is an elderly black man], if MJ was caught doing this with black children it would have never made it to trial. If MJ had been caught with a white girl he would have been convicted. What made this case so difficult was that MJ likes little white boys. Ben has lived through so much [he grew up in South Carolina] I do find it interesting talking with him and getting his perspectives on life. Much of life he sees entirely differently. :)-->

"retired" does not mean dead. It just means that you have a pension sending you a paycheck each month, so you dont have to go in and punch a timecard everyday. You can be 'retired' and still keep busy, just now I am able to be busy doing what I want to do, for a change.

I wonder if it is possible that somethings work well for some kinds of bugs, while other things work good for other kinds. I understand for sharks what is proven to ward off one kind of shark will attract other kinds of sharks. Which is why they have such a difficult time marketing anything to be a shark repellant. We used to have 'shark repellant' packed with our inflateable lifeboats but than found that the stuff tended to attract sharks. It is possible that for some people in some areas dealing with some kinds of bugs laundry sheets work great; for other folks nothing short of standing in kerosene smoke will keep them away. I do know from personal experience that those electronic noise makers do not seem to work in Maine, rather are capable to attracting the bugs.

I dont know much about holes in the ground either. I am more familiar with holes in the water!! :)-->

coolchef1248 I tried dryer sheets last summer, and Daniel tried burning tin cans filled with deiseil fuel. I was smoking a pipe {which ahs always worked nicely before], and I was wearing those electronic ultra-sonic noise makers [they give Daniel a head ache] and are supposed to drive away the bugs. They were just too thick. A realtor had warned me that in this particular area the black fly would wrestle a chain-saw away from you. The black fly really attacked our GermanShepherd's ears. Each inside ear hair follocle had dried blood on it. They looked like the black flys use the inner ear hairs as if they were drinking straws. I ended up using: Lemongrass oil, Eucalyptus oil, Citronela oil and peppermint oil together. 5 drops each in a pint of water sprayed heavily of her; this finally seemed to help her and keep those black-fly out of her ears. This summer, as I said I am spraying oil and Malathion on the water and I started when most of the snow was gone, and every two weeks. This year I have the mosquito net hooded over-jackets. So far the bugs are very thin. I think the veggie-oil and malathion are working. My real issue is the beaver. We have a new litter and as of last week they had thrown up a levy 3 feet high around a flat area maybe 1/4 acre. I go up tuesday night for a couple months, to begin construction. And I have to start by knockng down that levy and will likely deal with some beaver face-to-face. Las trip up, I had to stop the car, to wait for one to cross the road. It was dragging a tree with it. I was really amazed at how big they get, I would have wrecked our car if I had hit it. I went to last year's MOGFA fair, I intend to go again this year and to bring Bonnie. She applied for an opening at the Bangor 'International' Airport Comissary. She has been working in the produce department at the Subase Comissary, and an opening is coming available in Bangor. A two pay-grade raise and going from part-time [39 hours], to full-time [40 hours]. What is 'your way'? I drive I-95 from Ct, to exit 197 in Maine. A short 6 hour drive. :)-->

krysilis: I keep busy.