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IMSUNNY2,
I applaud you for seeking the Truth. I caution you about where you look.
FIRST and foremost PRAY to the Holy Spirit, in humility, for guidance. I implore you to read the book of John. Even if you have read it many times read it again. Then read it again. After you have read it several times, more than 3 to be sure, over a week or more, repost here. While you are reading John, look for who Jesus says he is. Look also for the point at which all 72 diciples left Him. Pray, beginning right now, asking God to reveal the Truth to you and to send Godly people in your path. Most folks are not knocked off their horse as Paul was. It takes time and study.