Eyesopen

So sorry Roy, to hear of your Uncle. Enjoy your time with him. We will miss you and hold a seat for you next week. :wub: Kathy dear....you are not going to join us? :huh:

Forgive me Deciderator, but once again I don't understand exactly what you mean by this comment. I know that it is only one out of many but it just doesn't make sense to me. Would you mind explaining it? Perhaps its just a typo. Not being sarcastic here..so please dont respond that way.

CMan has a good idea. I like the topic in Dot's thread.

Funny for me I missed just listening to others talk...about anything. It was like having a family reunion three times a week. It didn't matter if they were talking about God, it was understood that He was just a part of our lives and all of our decisions would be based upon His will. (At least as we knew it) But real friends in the Way...not too many but that was partially by my choice. I'm a social person but I don't normally have too many close friends anyway. I did kind of isolate myself that last several years, but again choice. Alone is not bad. Lonely is bad. You can have one without the other. Both ways. There is lots of light out there in the world and even the dimmest candle will dispel darkness. So finding the light is not as hard as it sounds. And this is my personal opinion and I realize that I do not know you but I don't think that you can become darkness sweetie.

"Falling Down"- Great movie! And yes it describes this type of thing exactly and as you say a bit on the extreme side. But don't be offended my little chameleon, just melt back into the walls after you make sure the kool-aid and cookies are on the table. OMG I don't mean for you to get violent!!

My friend that is the funniest description I have heard in a long time! I nearly spit my tea on my brand new keyboard! I agree with Exie, You did fine. This thread makes me think of the law in physics that states "For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction." Throughout our lives including the part that involved twi we are continually "reacting" to something. Be it a simple "jostle" while getting on the subway or a bump in the road that screws up your front end alignment. We each react differently to any situation. Even if the situation were exactly the same for each of us none of our reactions would be identical. But none of us experienced "exactly" the same thing so our reactions were that much more diverse. In addition, none of us percieve the action done to us (or around us) in the same manner. Hence our "reaction" of said action will be affected by our perception. For example if a person were to be accidently bumped while walking down the street by another person they might take personal affront to the accident and start yelling at the offender, while another person may simply apologize for the bump as if it were their fault. We might in turn say one person is wrong and the other is overreacting, or we might say something else. This brings us to Einstein's theory of relativity. What one person perceives as the truth another will not see it that way because of their individual perspectives and perceptions of reality. The point is each of us were given situations in twi that we reacted to. The ultimate outcome of all of those actions/reactions is the individual people that we are today and our individual perception of twi. Oldies sees twi in a good light, Exie does not. They were each presented with seperate sets of actions for which they seperately reacted and then perceived the outcomes differently. Is one right and one wrong? Some say yes some say no. The truth is that neither is right and neither is wrong. And both are right and both are wrong. Depending on an individuals perception of reality. This of course in no way diminishes or minimizes the horrid, evil things that were inflicted on so many of which we know Exie was one. It only identifies that she reacted to her given situation in her own unique way, because she is an individual. The action produced an opposite and equal reaction. Her reaction was equal to the action done. Today we are all presented with more actions every day. And we react to them based on our perception. When we change our perception by changing the knowledge from which we base our perceptions we can change the manner in which we react to a given situation. This is why some people are "growing or rediscovering" a backbone. They are learning as some of you have mentioned that they are worth something, that they are important and still children of God and all sorts of other true and uplifting things. This gives them a new perspective on themselves and life in general so they now are not even swayed by something that once would have knocked them on their foot. Ya'll have pointed it out several times: Self love and self worth are a huge thing! And are absolutely necessary to have a healthy backbone. P.S. Exie dear I hope that you don't mind me using you as an example in this manner. If I have stepped out of line please let me know and I will delete the post. Oldiesman the same applies to you, please let me know if you feel that I have stepped out of line. I hope that I didn't confuse anyone here. This darn couch has gone crazy!

Great distinction Spot! It's great to see, in my life, now that I have severed the cord that once linked me to false doctrine and in many ways also to my own pain, guilt and shame, I can look in the mirror again and see a person that is more than a shell. Who I chose to be and ultimately where I chose to go depends only on me. As Dooj was saying I can blame nobody but ME from here on out if I get hurt. My eyes really have been opened (hence the name) and I can see deception, falseness, lies and manipulation as I am certain many of you can. Our little stint in the Way in many ways has allowed us to see these subtle things. Most others that did not have twi in their background do not see them as easily until after the fact. We are of course not perfect, but it was an experience that most of us can say we learned that little bit of perception from. For example if we were manipulated then we see when someone is trying to manipulate us now more readily. Something like that. Ahh...it is good to see that onion again...can I get a parfait?

Excellent synopsis! And a good viewpoint for anyone to take.

Happy Birthday Acts 2! Have a great day!!!

Welcome! Nice to see you again.

Absolutely true statement. This why I don't forget my past like so many have said to do in threads on this site. To entirely forget could cause me to forget the lesson that resulted from the incident. For instance I have mostly forgotten the actual pain that a broken back give a person, but I have not forgotten that the pain was debilitating or what caused the broken back in the first place. Hence the lesson was not forgotten because I remember enough of my past. This is how I try to assimilate all of my "painful" experiences. Certainly many folks here help each other to heal. And because of this the pieces of the puzzle continue to come together.

Yes, you did.

Where did I ever say that the incidents involved TWI? Not refering to this thread let alone your post.

Great post ASpot! You are absolutely correct! I stand corrected. It did take tons of backbone to stay "committed" in the ministry, at least for me it did and obviously many others as well. So "rediscovering" is a better word in this instance. Yes many had to rediscover their backbone and some still have yet to do so. Ex10- After rereading your post, ASpot is correct, it does take a lot of personal sense of self to be able to love so unconditionally I think that my original assessment of love being a different aspect was incorrect. It takes great love to stand in the gap for people and it takes great love just to hold them when they hurt. My apologies. Reading some of these threads I have seen several who still use the ministry to prop themselves up. Those that cannot stand on an independant opinion. Those that need their opinion to be prewritten in some class or out of the mouth of some false mog. People who are afraid to say, "Oops, I made a mistake." (FOS ) Does anyone else see this? Or is it just me seeing things again...flashbacks...? :unsure:

That is your choice and no I do not. There are lots of "examples" posted here that give you "facts" if you want them. I will not break a confidence for you or anyone else. Sorry if that does not compute. I do not expect anyone to agree or disagree with me on anything that I say. I do not even expect a response. I thought that I would share with the board exactly what I shared with someone else privately. That's all. Respond or don't. If it touches you somehow then ok...if it doesn't ok. And if my point is not clear to you then I'm ok with that, you should be too.

No it is the same subject just a different aspect of it. I was not at all refering to us being heartless only spineless. But sometimes giving help does include standing up for them as ASpot had mentioned. We could talk about the heart thing and human kindness if you like. But that was not the focus of this particular thought of mine. I totally get what you are saying here Dooj. The analogy of the painting is very vivid for me. But I must admit I find it very hard to imagine you as a Chameleon of any kind. I would also like to be a masterpiece that He would be proud to sign.

The journey never seems to end but with each step you take forward the pain lessons and strength and confidence grow. I don't think we "arrive" until the Gathering. I broke my back on my interim year out WOW. It healed and my backbone is stronger both litterally and figuratively. So ya you still got one!

You are welcome! And thank you for the compliment, it is much appreciated.

Yes Oldiesman it is my choice to keep a confidence given to me. My point is fairly clear. I am sorry that you don't get it. Oh how right you are! "Self is Ok" I should put it in my tag line! I'm gonna bounce up and down on it to see what jumps out...change that is!

You're welcome...I think? Just kidding! It is always good to remember where you came from, because it makes the shining example that your life is now all the brighter!

Deciderator, Welcome to the Spot. I am sorry that our little meeting place isn't to you liking. There are many who would agree with you concerning the above quotation. I would also agree with you but it does not apply to GS. There are of course some posters here that would in fact match this scenerio. But by and large this is not the case. You should understand that people do not normally come here to "teach or expound" the word. That is not the purpose of GS. Says so on the front page. It also clearly states that this is not a religious site. So to come in here expecting to teach the word is not realistic. Many were hurt by TWI and/or the people in it or running it. They come here to heal so that they can teach the word if they still have the desire to do so. If they have to tell their stories to do so then they will tell them and I for one will listen.

Ham-You are absolutely correct. While in TWI we were often told to deal with something and often, at least for me I didnt agree that something was wrong. Many times "leadership" saw things that didn't exist and would overlook blatent problems. But to be a good little Corps person you did as you were told and went over to someones house to "set them straight". Today without their influence we can pick our battles and we can act upon our own conscience. Skyrider-Exactly! To heal we must all grow up....again. Oldiesman-I dont see any reason to tell those stories as so many people here in GS can give an example of learning that they have grown a real backbone since living in the real world. Rascal does just that in her post. Rascal-You make a great point about "confidence". The first few times that we use our new found backbone, we look around and see if anyone is going to reprove us or worse slap us down. But that probably isn't going to happen and if someone does disagree then so be it we are no longer expected to agree with something that we dont agree with just to stay in the program. We are free to grow up, we are free to express ourselves and we are free to heal.

I am so happy for you!

Sumac is nasty! Ich! I got a bunch of those nasty little bushes/trees growing in my yard. I just hate the smell of them. But I can see how they might be used as a linament.

I've been thinking, strange as is may seem this does happen upon occassion. :blink: So what I've been thinking about was our recovery as believers from the screwed up stuff that we assimilated in TWI. Recenty several "events" have taken place that I have been privy to and in each event the person involved had stood up to a person that they would never have thought of asserting themselves to even a week prior. They had suddenly realized that yes indeed they do have a backbone or had grown one quite recently. For those of you who have grown a backbone...good on you. It apparently is spreading and I honestly hope that it becomes an epidemic among the ex-twits. So often when we were "in" we had simulated backbones. Backbones that depended upon the organization to remain rigid. Once that organization either abandoned us or spurned us we suddenly became jelly fish. Because we believed the bill of goods that they sold us. "We were nothing without them." But now we are learning that we are "somebody" without TWI. We have a purpose and we can be happy and productive. Heck we can even be spiritual if we want to. But most of all we are "somebody" so we have the right to stand up for ourselves and we have the right to be heard and our opinion does count. In the ministry many of us did things that hurt people in the name of the ministry and its false god vp. Often we were hateful and unfeeling or uncaring of others feelings. But now that we are not subject to TWI's false doctrines we can and should employ great compassion for our fellow humans. Remember that Christ is our example. He was strong and told people exactly what he thought. And what he thought was what God would be thinking. JC always did things with compassion and sometimes that means that you don't bend, it means that you stand your ground and take the heat so somebody else doesn't have to. If you are going to take the front then take the front. Jesus Christ stood in front of us before we were even born and took our transgessions to the Cross with him. He had a real backbone. And we are to imitate him. Just thought that I would share the .02 cents that I found while digging in my couch with you.