moryan

They don't want to be found, but with a little Sleuthing, They can be...... http://groups.myspace.com/thewayint Enjoy! Read awhile, it will make you sad reading some of their claims and information about the way.... Ryan

Can anyone elaborate on this, I know my girlfriend talks about devil spirits, Blessing stuff you buy at the store before you bring it into your house because a spirit could be hiding in it, touching someone and getting something bad from them, etc. which I think is all crap, but what is the deal with them looking away for a second and big black eyes, is he just kidding or is this a mind control thing? And to answer Robes question, After the fellowship my girlfriend first asked me, "Well That wasn't so bad was it?" And without just laughing in her face and telling her what a bunch of bologna it was I said, "No not too bad at all..." I then asked her what she thought and she just said, "It wasn't too bad, not as good as my old one and not as bad as other ones I have been too. She really hasn't spoken of it since, I know they have like 5 or 6 others in this town apparently, but she hasn't said anything about going to those. She just said last night she felt her devotion to God and reading the bible has really been lacking, whatever that means..... Also, maybe you could answer this question to me everyone, Say I go to like a few more of these just to see what card they are going to try and play next, Will they expect me to take the class and what if they asked me if I wanted to take the class and I told them no I wasn't interested at all....Would I not be allowed to return or what? I know they have my girlfriends cellphone and maybe email address, I just wonder how long they start calling and manipulating her to convert me or get rid of me..... Thanks again to everyone's support...it means ALOT to me I will keep you posted on any happenings in the way or when and if our relationship is over... Ryan

Thanks for the insight into it.... WELL, As I am sure many of you are wondering, What did he end up doing with the relationship? Well, As I told my dad, I am going to be me and be with her FOR NOW, BUT with ONE outburst like she did a couple weeks back, Thats it, OVER.... And now onto Fellowship..... I attended "Fellowship" this past week for the very first time with her, There were a few things I noticed.... 1. Some of the people had this really hollow-eyed look on their faces that kind of made my skin crawl, as if nothing was going on inside their heads and they were programmed. 2. I did not like the "drilling" format of just asking people to pray on the spot, as if to test them on how faithful they are... 3. The teaching of the week of whatever I thought was pointless crap, I could've came up with something more thoughtful and inspirational back in High school. 4. Felt as if I was being interviewed the whole time, very inconspicuously, Where Am I from, What are My Hobbies, Why Did I come, etc.etc.etc. 5. Felt like the people were staring at me everytime I looked up, they would look away.... All in all, it just reaffirms in my head that I would NEVER, EVER Join the way or Support anything about it, including a significant other. I feel I would be letting down God, My Family, My Friends, and whoever else if I did and even worse, the thought that I would have Children someday raised into the way makes me sick to my stomach.

I have those songs blaring right now...Thanks :)

I know, right now she is back to being happy with the exception that she threw out there, "Well I could never Marry you" Marriage has never been discussed, so why she brought it up, I have no clue....And as far as the 3 daughters go, I may have to PM you on that one :) Thanks to everyone for taking the time, it truly means a great deal to me....I haven't dumped her YET, because I consider myself to truly be a nice guy....maybe too nice sometimes, that may be why we are still together in fact.....

Once again, I whole-heartedly agree with everyone and thank you for reassuring my feelings about this whole situation. Something I have been wondering on a side note, not involving myself, but....Does the way frown upon people using anti-depressants or similar drugs? do they think it makes them weak or anything along those lines? What about drinking on occasion? What is their take on these matters? Also, does the way express anti-semetic viewpoints, such as "endorsing" the 13th tribe or other books? What about thoughts of Mass Suicide? What about "tithing", what if someone has never tithed up to this point? There are alot of others, but I can't think of them at the immediate moment. The whole secrecy thing is what first raised my eyebrows about the ministry. I asked her, Well how do people become members? How do they find out fellowships and events are going on in the area? And when I challenged her of why the only thing on the website was an address, she said it was because of all the outrageous people who call and harass them......Its so simple to me, maybe I have alot better head on my shoulders than her....I don't know, it is just amazing to me how someone who went to college, reads a wide variety of books all the time, etc. can have such a blind eye to the simplest things....

Definetly I know what you mean Free at last, her mom quit the way because of the pressure they gave her about being in debt, her brother quit because of alot of the scandals and the fact that he is a physics and chemistry major and has more of a scientific viewpoint on the explanation of things such as Astronomy, etc. and he wouldn't stand for it. Her sister is not interested, but she keeps telling her sister she needs to go to a college that is near a local fellowship so she will have a support system nearby to watch over her while in college. I also know what people mean about the biting the tongue comment, it definetly isn't healthy no matter what way you look at it. I am still confused on the mailing thing as well, I guess its because she moved and maybe didn't tell them exactly where she was going, I know she talked to old people from her fellowship and they said there were no fellowships in Missouri any longer and it just seemed to me that she gave up, then something inspired her to write a letter requesting the teaching tapes and they informed her that low and behold there was no need for them, because there was one right here in our city!!!! When she told me, she got ....ed off because she said I didn't seem excited for her, so now she is awaiting them to contact her (maybe it isn't by mail, but I swore thats what she said) so she can start going. She told me last night in an email how much animosity and anger she has towards me still based on Friday night when she blew up and that she may be back to her old self after the holidays and once she starts going to fellowship. She hasn't been to fellowship for the better part of a year, because she said it was a 4 hour drive away to where the nearest one was supposively. At one time I was going to move to Kansas for a job and someone in the way encouraged her to move there because there are alot of good fellowships out that way, the job fell through, but I still wonder if she would've actually made a huge move like that......I don't know, all I know is this whole situation is eating up all my thoughts and I don't like it, one thing I do like is everyone's great comments to me regarding this subject, I am very appreciative that everyone has taken the time to give their input, and all quite positive I might add :)

I am blessed for everyone taking the time to give me these comments of encouragement to do what is right, rather than just simply bending or mending my ways and beliefs to try and stay happy. As far as why they are mailing it to her, she said that she had to send them a normal letter in the mail to begin with because she couldn't find an email address or phone number posted anywhere and that they prefer to use regular mail over the others, why? I have NO idea, seemed really odd to me....So she is sitting and watching the mailbox, waiting for the contact info for the local fellowship. She has been filled with immense negativity and anger lately, most of which has been directed towards me. She feels when we both go back home for the holidays (to seperate places) that between that and getting to go to fellowship after the Holidays might make her return to her old self again, yet she hasn't been to a fellowship in like a year I believe. The other thing I am trying to figure out is, she always says, "I hope this is a good Fellowship...." She even admits how she has been to others that the people are just......then she just kind of leaves it at that, I think it is her sweeping her thoughts against the way back under the rug in her mind.

Belle, I honestly can't believe how much you nailed that on the head. The whole Santa, Easter Bunny, all that....We just got in a huge fight the other night. She told me growing up how her mom told them Santa and all the others weren't real and I said, "Well you aren't going to do that to your children are you?" and she said, Of course I am, I could never lie to them and deceive them....This was outrageous to me....Furthermore, I definetly have the impression of Catholics or "Roman-Catholics" being devilish in her eyes for the sake of praying to Mary and others, she has pointed this out a few times....the other night I said, "well you truly feel don't you that since I am not a member of the way that I am going to hell?" and she replied with, "No, not unless you have been born again and worked it out with god..." Whatever that means? Friday, the eve before our 6month anniversary was the worst night of my life, I don't think I have ever seen anyone get so upset over something and I have lived through some rough family hardships in my short 24 years on this earth. Now, its like everything is back to normal, which on the outside feels great to me, but on the inside I am torn apart. I am living in fear now of if they actually do contact her about these posts, or furthermore, when she gets the letter in the mail notifying her of when the fellowship meets here in town. She is yet to go to it, because until 5 days ago she had no idea one existed here....I told her I would be happy to go with her and support her and be there for her, plus I wanted to see first hand for myself what goes on and see how excepting they are of me........I need to get ahold of that book, I wonder if Barnes and noble Carries it??? Yea I don't think there is any chance of a conversion for her, even if there was another huge fallout of the way, Is there a link I can get of Rivenbarfs lies?

Yes I am very familiar with apologetics....Despite being raised Catholic and attending Church weekly until the age of about 20, I am not so devoute to the Church anymore, however, I have not lost my faith in God or Christianity. Nor do I want her to lose her faith in God as well. I think everyone but her fully understands that I am not trying to change her faith, nor to even make her convert/quit the way, I just want her to at least see from another viewpoint....I do fully realize thatif it continues at this pace, that it won't be healthy for myself inparticular or for the both of us.

I guess I never considered the fact that they will try and contact her, she just called me an hour ago and seems extremely happy, so I am guessing they haven't contacted her yet. Thank you for suggesting the book, that was one thing I was wondering, was if there was any book out there about the subject that anyone suggests. The last thing I want to do is break up with her, but on Saturday she got the most upset I have ever seen her and a lightbulb went on inside my head about the relationship, she also said that 3 different people all told her that the relationship sounded unhealthy, so I can imagine who those 3 people might have been.

it is very apparent to me that they strive very hard to keep people in the way, with different mind control tactics and coersiveness...I can ensure that this is one person that they will have no chance of that happening too. Just out of sheer curiousity I want to give my girlfriend the benefit of the doubt and stick with her until the first home fellowship, personally I think it will both directly and indirectly speak for itself in making me break my ties with her, either way, from what everyone says, I feel it will be the best thing for me both for my mental health and self well being. thanks again everyone...

I greatly appreciate everyone taking the time to make these replys, these are all the things that I have already been thinking alot of times in my mind. Being very young and a recent college graduate, I intend on traveling very much with my new job in Waterfowl Biology and bettering myself for a successful career and what not. She is in a very similar field of Biology as myself and until 5 days ago when she found out there is a fellowship here, she was planning on doing alot of jumping around as well. Despite her not even attending a fellowship yet, she is already considering talking to her boss about getting a year extension, despite her saying NUMEROUS times how much she hates her current job and the city of Columbia we both reside in... Please keep the comments coming, again I am very appreciative of all of them, they are giving me the positive reassurement I need to decide to end it is the best thing to do.

I definetly understand what you mean, so are you saying she is set in her ways, not that I am wanting her to change her beliefs and become a Catholic, I DO NOT want that at all, I just wish she could see what so many other people on here have.....Is it a lost Cause in the relationship?

She refuses to look at anything, I told her after reading this site for hours, that it was comprised primarily of all past Way Members who had first hand experiences. She always says, "You can't look at the negative of the organization, you have to look at the positive things they are teaching", then normally she also adds that she would rather die than change her beliefs. The thing I always tell her is that her beliefs in god and christianity are fine, but it deeply saddens me to think that someone I care so much about can have the wool pulled over their eyes so easily....this in turn normally leads to me being the bad guy and end of conversation or a huge arguement that ends with her getting extremely upset and crying, which I ask her, if she deep down really believes the way is so good, why are you bawling your eyes out and going hysterical. She has even told me how she was molested in the Way on two occasions on retreats, but all those bad people (she refers to homosexuals/lesbians typically) were removed in the 80's and now it is lead by a very good leader who everyone likes, Rivenbark. I then show her stuff showing how she was no better due to her being involved so much with the scandals and she says that is preposterous as well.