Wanderer

I mean, I believe in Jesus Christ, (I also believe in Budda), but did you really swallow PFAL hook line & sinker, or was there always doubt, in the back of your mind? I think I felt a bit taken at the conclusion of "The Class", but I hung in there for a while (three years '80-82) as some of the teaching interested me. I liked the practice (And still do ), of praying for people right there to their face. I liked the small intimate twig meetings, where you felt the, "Family like" spiritual community. On the down side, I felt the scholarship was shoddy, and I disliked the overbearing attitude of some of the "Leadership". There was no doubt in my young mind that this was NOT "The greatest teaching of The Word since Jesus Christ". To this day I have a saying, "Anything for sale ain't spiritual, and anything spititual aint for sale". If they demand I pull out my wallet to share spiritual ideas, I hit the door. Everytime.

Belle, I really didn't feel shot down, and I think I'll call occasionaly, just to be a friend. I guess in the back of my head, I figured she'd see the light and get the hell out. Looking back, she called me during the "Passing of the old Geeser" period to see where I stood. At that time I was heavily into native american spirituality (Which I still practice, although not so intensly), and I let her know in a nice way that I wasn't interested. So I guess she bit into the LCM stuff too, and now she's hanging with www.cbrinc.org a splinter run by Gary Gudlin, an old way corpse guy. Now to be fair, I met some way corps folke who were nice, but I met more Bozos than loving people. I really liked the thread about disfuctional social skills, you started. I think part of my problem with the way, was that I never went for the phony stuff. I have a strong drive to be myself (Although this has gotten me into a fix a time or two), and leadership wasn't too fond of that. I was also well trained in philosophy, making me a difficult person to argue successfuly with. Bottom line...It's her choice, but I'll still be her friend.

Why am I not surprised!

I think I'll call occasionaly and keep it light. It is good to hear a voice from the past, one I shared many experiences with. She may need an outside influence to communicate freely with, one she could trust.

Anytime you can't relax enough to be yourself, regardless of the reason, it comes off as phony.

Excathedra, We may have met if you were in Oswego in the early 80s. Some of us from Syracuse used to go up there to witness. I certainly recall your posts from earlier days both here and on waydale (I think). During the changes here and through the passage of time my old account seems to have dissapeared, so I have "Risen again", this time as Wanderer!

That's kind of funny Lori, as I am both a wanderer, and a wunderer!

My contact was to reestablish a friendship only, as I've been happily married for the last 20 years. I guess in the back of my mind I alwasy thought she'd get out, but as someone mentioned, she's quite content. "Beat a dog with a stick often enough, and they get to like the stick". Jumpin, I'd left and gone to Albuquerque by '84.

I wasn't trying to rekindle anything, it's just that I wished better for her. She hung through all the nasty times and one would hope she'd, "Wake up & smell the coffee!". It's just plain sad.

Ignorantly...I just started a similar thread today. I located an old lover who got me involved in the first place. Those were truly the most confusing years of my life and I was a bit terrified to revisit them. She's the same...in a splinter group. When we talk, it's pesonal for a minute, but breaks into a long teaching each time. I gently break out, and add a gentle paralell to my own life, some more genuine talk followed by more teaching on her part. Don't get me wrong...I'm a spiritual person, but I can discuss a multitude of issues, without lapsing into regurgitated Wayspeak. The saddest part is now she's in her mid 60's unmarried, and lonely I guess.

OK to be perfectly honest...an old lover. I was part of the Allen Street Way folks in Syracuse NY in the early 80's. The whole thing was so confusing to me that I literally quit my life and ran away. But in the back of my mind I always wondered...did I desert God? Did I turn my back on him and his household? I had to go through some shenanagins to locate her. Call a relative, get a bit lambasted, swallow my pride, and get the number. Freaked me out...It's the same. She's in a splinter group, strong as ever, but there is still a place in my heart for her, and I kind of know where she's coming from, but I feel the same oddness...the "Special knowlege", the "Household". As a friend I call occasionaly, clad to hear her voice, but it saddens me. I so admire her strength, but I have learned better, and know better than to descend into that malestrom. Anyone else had this experience? :(