potato

I passionately hate Ohio weather. the food was gross. sunburns. sitting in a plastic chair in pantyhose... yay! rash!!! walking a half mile in heels... yay! blisters!!! seeing friends was good, but people got nastier over the years.

I don't think this is off-topic... it's one of the reasons I'm so adament about my right to say no at any point. and whoever mentioned role-playing... yes! if there isn't any trust, I consider that kind of relaitionship impossible. part of trust is knowing that the other person will stop, adjust, and in general consider you because they love you and how you feel matters to them. they can't get so caught up the role that reality ceases to exist. I remember when the RC who counseled me and my ex before our divorce told him "if she wants you run around naked in your toolbelt, then run around naked in your toolbelt" and all I could think was "gross". that's a natural reaction to someone you loathe. nothing was going to make me want him, because I wasn't a person to him.

ChattyKathy, I have never believed it was anything but unwise on the part of a girl or woman or young man or anyone to go into a hotel room with a stranger, but I took the position at the extreme because for whatever reason, it will happen over and over again. maybe someone thinks that because he's a public figure he wouldn't risk his reputation, or whatever, it really doesn't matter. people will be unwise, but it's not their fault if they get raped and the implication of fault is what keeps girls quiet when they've been victimized.

I know, Dot... I've known a lot of women who kept their mouths shut for various reasons, many because there'd be hell to pay at home if the police got involved, and because they had no where else to go... others because it "wasn't that bad and I need to be there for the kids". some areas are better than others for helping women get out, and help for men in abusive relationships lags far behind. it makes me so mad that women have to stay and get hurt, and their kids have to watch them being abused. people might think the woman who goes to a hotel room with a man for drinks is stupid, and maybe she is, but if the guy never gets in trouble because "she asked for it" he'll keep looking for the naive and gullible to take advantage of. if he goes to jail, it sends a clear message to the men who would do such things. the press doesn't hurt as far as keeping stupid girls from doing stupid things, too. if men who hit, harrass, rape and otherwise abuse their wives go to jail and lose the right to see their children, maybe things will change a little bit, but I think something along the lines of the witness protection program might be needed. parental rights groups will block any move to provide this kind of protection because the system could be used to hurt an innocent parent and ruin a parental relationship... and it's true, but I don't see that letting women die is the better option.

there was a time when I should have pressed charges against a man I lived with. if I found myself in the same circumstances now, I probably would press charges. that's why once I decided I was not going to have sex with my husband, nothing was going to convince me otherwise until something changed, be it divorce or him going into counseling and finding some humanity, and if he tried to force me he would have faced rape charges.

a directive did come down twi's tree to vote for a certain canditate in 2000. that's the year I quit voting. some of my innie friends from a different area also got the directive, but they were stronger and voted for who they wanted to. at the time, I was required to report my every activity to leadership. it was easier to have no opinions at all than disagree with my then-husband and leaders. I didn't want any more special "meetings".

edited because while I do think this was trite, and I don't like the back-handed "people here suck" message, bumpy is entitled to voice their opinion like the rest of us.

me too, copenhagen. no should mean no, no matter where you're at in the act. "carried away with passion" isn't a defense.

I really love hearing dads say things like this. it is heartwarming. your kids are blessed. it also shows me how right I am to fight in my case, as my ex has no concern for the kids. they are just trophies to him. he would take food out of their mouths to make his life easier. to each his own battle. in some cases the benefits do not outweigh the work involved, and in some it's a matter of principle to let things go because there are other tangible benefits that would go by the wayside in the interest of pursuing something to the extent of the law.

I'll say it again... he can get a divorce. he does have a choice about staying. if a woman is withholding sex out of spite, a whole lot more is going on and if the dude is all that, wtf is he sticking around for? I'm getting confused about what you're talking about exactly, because now it sounds like the wife is rebuffing an advance, and if he backs off thats not rape and she's a liar. before it sounded like you were saying he got sick of not getting laid and had sex with his wife. the former, not rape and a woman calling rape is a liar. the latter, rape no matter what her behavior. if he wants sex, why is he married to a woman who won't have it with him?

in a healthy marriage, both do take care of each other and sex is part of that. if a woman withholds sex, it's really not your place to judge her reasons about why. the man can leave if he doesn't like it. it's no longer legal for a man to force his wife to have sex with him (i.e. rape her).

becaue the man has a choice about forcing sex on someone. he can keep his pants zipped. he can leave. no one is forcing him to rape.

that sounds like rape... surely we can't allow the man the option to change his mind at the last minute ("oh, this is a bad idea, let's put this off") but deny a woman the same right to control her own body? I'm not laughing at all, because there is always a "no" stage, even during the act. uuuuuhhhh... ChattyKathy, you are describing rape, not just a woman crying rape. if my ex had raped me once I decided I wasn't going to have sex with him ever again, I would have nailed him to the wall. a man just doesn't get to take what he wants, there is no excuse for that. if he needs sex, don't rape the most convenient woman, and don't stay either. divorce is an option for the man, but somehow you're saying the woman is responsible for getting raped by her husband because she didn't divorce him.

my vote is look into CMS (content mangement systems). I'm working with drupal right now, which is both easy and complex and might be way more than what you want, and GSC is built in joomla, which I'm also working with in my job and actually confuses my more than drupal does... but managing weblinks and content can be a lot easier using an interface with an actual database. it installs on the host and you manage content in your blowser and usually has really good built in tools for generating content.

I guess I still don't see the connection between crying rape and withholding sex. they seem to be 2 different issues but you've got them connected, where the actual issue seems to be accusing a man of rape who did not commit rape. I'm just completely confused as to what point you're trying to make about women who don't want to have sex with their husbands. this does clarify your position, yes. I guess I don't think a girl who gets raped after spending time alone with a man should be held liable. if a man asks you to his hotel room, why should it not be for a drink? I'm talking legally here, and not practically, obviously, but you're saying that a woman should assume ever man is a rapist, and maybe to protect ourselves we should. some men are actually honest and if they say drink and talk they mean it. the ones who don't should just hire a prostitute instead of tricking a girl into spending time with him so he can have sex with her whether she wants to or not. if it's a matter of her disregarding him as a person to that extent, maybe HE should divorce HER. at the end of my marriage, I wouldn't let me ex "release with me sexually" because I don't like being used as something to masturbate with, so yeah, in that case the woman should just divorce him and be done with the mess is he's too disgusting to physically love. I stll just don't see what this has to do with rape.

claiming someone raped you when they didn't is lying... I guess I just don't see the connection about the woman not wanting to have sex with her husband as having anything to do with it, really. whether she wants to have sex or not has nothing to do with lying about being raped. I think it's more likely for woman to have sex with her husband and then accuse him of rape out of revenge than it is for a woman to withhold sex then accuse rape. because you're going out there where rapists have access to you. it's extreme, yes, but I resent the implication that women are at fault when they're raped because they gave the rapist opportunity. opportunity isn't that hard to come by. walking home from work, stopping at a light late at night, coming in your house, stopping at the store on the way home from school. yeah, you did, but I wasn't talking about date rape. this beyond date rape, strangers are doing it to random girls at parties, which seems to fall more under your opinion: "Putting yourself in a situation where you know there is a chance of being forced sexually is liable on the one being taken advantage of to some degree." "Doing drugs and drinking in situations that are inappropriate places some liability on the one taken advantage of also." this seems to imply that because we all know predators are doing this, girls are at fault for getting raped because they were at the party, and doubly so if they were drinking or using drugs.

that sounds weird. it shouldn't matter which order you upload in, a directory you create in public_html should stay there :blink:

my favorite is restore from backup I'm working with a bunch of modules that fry my data once in a while, so until I get things stable, I'm doing a lot of backtracking, reconfiguring, and trashing. I had to take a few months off of my project because of the burnout, so I hear ya.

sounds like you've got configuration issues, the way it's saving is I think the way it used to in Frontpage but you had to specify your image path or once you saved, it wouldn't remember where your pictures are because the relative image paths are broken. I don't use MS publisher, so I don't know what their tools are like for web pages. I know MS word sucks, bad and I hate MS frontpage too. I use dreamweaver and text editors and I know my way around web hosting (mostly linux) and I wouldn't mind looking at your source file if you tell me where your site is, but all I could do from there is give you a generally idea of what to look at, if I see anything that looks like an issue in the generated code.

maybe they're going to start podcasting. I told one of the leaders before I left that the only way I was ever going to listen to a STS again was if I could get them digitally, and I was treated to that old drone about why twi does things the way it does, it's old fashioned mail, cassettes are tried and true, and each one reach one blah blah blah whatever. I can shop online, man. some people hardly leave their house anymore, they don't need to. the only way I have to play a cassette is in my car, and I'm not going to use up that valuable family time listening to a bunch of lame music. I get my alone time late at night, so if you want my attention, give something digital that I can fit into my rythm.

are you saying a wife doesn't have a right to say no, and that a husband can take sex whenever he wants it, regardless of how the wife feels? I hope I raise my daughter to be the kind of woman who won't put up with that crap and will show the guy the door if he shows so little disregard for her. if liability results from the knowledge that it could happen, then girls and women should go out in public at all, because if they get raped it's their own fault. rape happens, and they should know better. is that what you're saying? drinking and drugs aren't a prerequisite for risk in public gatherings. you might not drink any alcohol, but you could still get slipped a mickey in straight up coke and find yourself in the hospital after being raped.

no kidding. he should be able to sue the brat's family for damages.

let's add this one, too, while we're at it: over and over, your husband calls you names then ignores you, then expects sex at bedtime. you don't want to, you hate him but you can't say no because a good wife never withholds sex and you've been programmed by years of verbal and emotional abuse, and a few punches, to do whatever your husband wants. to fulfill your wifely duty, you detach from reality and go numb to be able to bear his disgusting self imposed on you. is it rape?

that is an amazing story! I am so glad you're here and didn't give up. I'm so sorry you lost your house through all of that. were you ever able to start collecting child support?

well DUH. it means you are spiritually trustworthy enough to work your foot off doing stupid crap for free. I should have worked at losing my AC status, I had no idea there could be such benefits. I did not type foot. I might have said a bad word by accident.