Twinky

A thankful heart goes a long way to help one's spiritual walk. Not thanks by rote (legalism) but real acknowledgment of God's blessing in one's life. TWI had spiritual hierarchy upside down. They said, "The greatest leader is the greatest servant" but their actions were entirely opposite. Where is the hierarchy for servanthood? If the servant washing the feet of visitors was the lowest grade of servant (as TWI said), perhaps we should have expected VPW, LCM and RFR busily washing the shoes and the feet of Grounds crew? (Yeah, right.)

Interesting perspective, Socks. Especially: 'God "allows" both good and bad to happen.' It might help if every reader of the Bible remembers that s/he comes at it from his/her own cultural perspective - as they do everything else in the world. If you've traveled abroad you'll be aware of this. Even between similar cultures. The perspectives of (say) an American and (say) a Japanese person and (say) a person from Nuie or Borneo (yes, those are real places) are miles apart. Culturally and physically. But who's to say which is right? Best? Different balances, because different needs. This difference in ways of thinking often plays out where there is an indigenous group of people with immigrant populations (think: native Americans of all kinds, and current US population(s); aboriginal Australians followed by current mostly western-thinking population. There can be immense gaps in the perception of how land (in particular) is held, in spiritual / creation beliefs and in family ties/duty. Result: conflict, stress, disputes over land, oppression, perceived injustice. When learning a foreign language there are often words that don't translate exactly; how much more a problem that is when we deal with translations of the Bible that are culturally, historically, and in language far from our own. I do know S@ngat B@ins (ex WC) still teaches a lot of PFAL-type material in India but it's slanted rather differently because the people's way of thinking is different. (His own background, too.) It would be interesting to have a perspective from someone like him on the idiom of permission.

I say it's fine to memorize Bible verses. But not just the verse: the whole context of the verse needs to be memorized and understood. The "heart behind it." Too many didn't and don't know even the verse either side, much less the context. (I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me ... means I can do anything I want, drive a bus, succeed in my exams without studying, be the Prez of (whatever), yada yada. Or does it? Maybe it means I can get through any situation, rags or riches, with Christ...that's something different.) The verse itself should then bring to mind a whole body of helpful and supportive scripture, and epitomize the wisdom in the whole context And a comprehensible language (a contemporary version) is quite possibly better than KJV. When you don't know the context, that's when cherry picking kicks in.

That salt covenant thing was about putting people into even more oppression and servitude. I re-examined my salt covt at graduation and consider I was "salted" to serve God, was then, still am now. I do it for the pleasure and exhilaration of doing so, of helping others. I was not and am not salted to serve anyone or anything that usurps God's place.

Dunno, mstar, might be pouring more good money after money badly spent! I don't know what the householder does with ash, whether garden or garbage. I take the view that the contents are "purified by fire" (so long as the woodburner is hot enough, and it does get hot!!) so the ash should be "purified" ... anyway there is enough paper content to light a good many fires, all through the winter I should think. It would be good to revisit my research paper. I have often thought about it. No ministry "research" about that topic at all so I don't see it as contaminated, just my own sheer exploration and enjoyment of the whole of the Bible. I found the first and second drafts of my paper (marked "exemplary" in all respects except for use of ministry materials, what does that say!) but there was only ever one original and it disappeared into the depths of HQ and I've never seen it since. With a wider choice of views and study materials now available to me, I might change my mind a bit ... but the core was about God's tender care for all aspects of life, and therefore living with integrity, and saying and doing the same thing. What true leadership is about. And living with integrity shouldn't change. Hey, suggestions please on the best way to dispose of hundreds of SNS tapes and video tapes. Do they burn? - I don't want to set the house on fire or asphyxiate anyone! Would take ages to pull all the tapes from the cassettes and even then the contents aren't destroyed, there's just a big mess of tangled tape.

VPW's funeral...I never heard anything about that. What did happen there, anyway? I thought it was a cremation with the ashes in or under the fountain?

Sorry, excie, didn't look to see if you were mentioned, but I'm sure you will forgive me for not looking again. I avoided that "Birth to Corps" paper (thank God). If I'd had to do one, I think it would have been a selective version. Some things are just ... private. Not that I have any big secrets or truly dreadful things that happened to me. I'm really glad I didn't have to do that. I am very thankful to both my parents, who did their honest best even though it was a bit hard and difficult (for all of us) at times. They laid the groundwork that enabled God to build in my life. Two boxfuls of junk, I mean Corps notes and syllabi and such like. Including the contents of a few books (like R&E). I have never destroyed a book before. It was a weird thing to do.

I just biffed about 4 copies of "Christian Etiquette." And "The Art of Followship" (Donna M - how to follow one's husband) . And a whole series on a wife being a crown to her husband, an adornment to him...not really about the wife herself, though I only glanced at them. It was a different era, but if Dotty'd stood up to VPW a bit more, all our lives would have been different. Either no Way ministry at all, or one of a proper decent flavor.

Agh, thought I had finished and the next day found 6 Corps notes spiral binders that I had not burned. And then my friend who has been storing my materials has brought up from the cellar 5 boxes of stuff - books, class materials, ring binders for this and that, photos from classes(and yes, the Advanced Class Special was in 1992) - ugh, too much. I have filled two great big cardboard boxes with the stuff from the binders and the notebooks and other materials. I was interested to find a pamphlet, "Forgers of the Word," by VPW. And I thought, that really is the kettle calling the pot black. And some books ... who wants Uncle Harry (biography)? Well, too bad, I have torn the cover off and recycled the contents as paper and the cover will go as cardboard. Likewise with some other books. But there are some books worth keeping, non-Way stuff. And a little bit of stuff I'm still undecided about. And I found the rest of my journals, which I will keep. Somehow that seems important. At least, right now. If only to remember the bizarre stuff that happened. Even though the journals put the best most positive face on what was happening and try to express events as a learning curve and not the desperate misery that they sometimes were. Excie, the bizarre letters ... none to me directly but the general tenor of some of the correspondence to WC is ... bizarre. And in the paper recycling box, LOL.

As to the borrowed desk and other props, I don't see a problem with that. Anyone filming borrows all the time to get the effect they want for the presentation. Or hiring the Big Top for RoA. Or hiring any other equipment. However, if the stuff was borrowed "on approval" for a short period and then returned as unwanted - that's a different thing. That's like hiring props without paying the hire fee. Like Hap says, "slimy." Not quite right. Not quite the fine Christian example that should be set. What's the problem with prefabricated houses? Such have been around since time immemorial. Pre-fab houses (constructed off site and reassembled on-site) have been around in the UK since ... 100s? 1200s? Standard mode of construction in the 1500s, and some of those buildings are still in use! Somehow I doubt the pre-fabs at HQ will have been built to last that long ... <_< The grounds (and the interiors of the buildings) were kept immaculate when I was there. Over-clean, really. That's cut down a lot since practically everyone has left and there aren't enough bods to do all the necessary jobs, never mind the unnecessary ones. Great expression in the UK, especially in the north: "Fur coat and no knickers." All for show, and nothing of substance when it comes to it.

It took a long time to burn it all (such a lot of time and effort invested in writing the bloody notes in the first place!!). And, Rejoice, the reason I did it was exactly because I didn't want anybody else getting polluted by reading it. It was a difficult decision, OB, very like mourning, though mourning for the death of decent relationships that never flowered as they should. And for the hurt in the lives of all of us with honest hearts who were so deceived and ripped apart and hurt. Once I'd made the decision, the act was quite easy. I believe there are some books somewhere; these haven't been returned to me yet. All the PFAL books, collaterals, and later material. LCM's Rise & Expansion book. Lotsa money invested there. Will I read any of these again? Nah. An ex-Wayfer friend lent me one of the collaterals for some reason, and JCNG. I couldn't get past the first page. I think the tapes have been disposed of long ago. In particular, AoS and Mr Leotard's egotism. I'm free - and staying that way.

The deed is done. All those notes...what a huge pile. It has kept the woodburner busy for quite a number of hours. All ash now. Maybe the ash will be of some use...improve the soil quality in the garden. As long as a Way tree does not decide to grow in it. LOL

We got to see The Last of the Mohicans, which was all about teamwork and never giving up. To go with it, we also got an Indian corn cob, without any instruction of what to do with it. LCM had some little statue (or was it a painting?) which showed a posse of Indians (native Americans) all following one another but looking in different directions - "looking out for each other." My recollection is that he wasn't quite as respectful of real human American Indians.

JJ, that's funny. Didn't know Howard was still alive. Do you suppose they're going to have to report to Rosalie before every time they have sex??? (Sorry for grossing everyone out)

They let me off the leash. Well, physically. I was stuck in the dog kennel though. Some time later, I let my mind and heart off the leash. AND I'M FREE. FREE!!!!!!

Not a dream, more like one of those very strange weird psychedelic colored whirly things when you eat too much spicy curry too late at night.

Thanks, Sky and OldSkool. Albatross... God has given me so much more now that my head is better in order. I see things at the Cafe and think, I have notes about that, I don't think that what so-and-so says is quite what happened. But really, what does it matter? A bit wrong, or a lot wrong? I don't care to argue about the past. I look forward to the future. Every day with God is a new beginning. A new beginning implies also an end to something. I figure, if it's important, or really real, God can teach me again, or remind me, or ... or whatever. He doesn't need contaminated notes to remind him, LOL.

All I can say is - the real Body of Christ is significantly bigger than a poxy little outfit in the middle of rural USA. There are believers, real believers, in very many countries, who live and breathe God's love in truly difficult circumstances. There are those who really risk their lives. There are those who put their lives truly out there to be available to others on mission fields of various types - medical, teaching, volunteer work, caring for kids... In every town in "western" civilization, Christianity is easy. Churches are there and some of them are very good. In many towns denominationalism has broken down and different churches are cooperating in projects working together to present a large and loving face to (let's say) the unsaved. When someone leaves a church to start attending a different once, they often go with the blessing of the "old" church which recognizes the need to move on. And while you're going to one of these churches, there are others to speak to if there are problems with the minister or other church leaders. That's a lot better than the united front of The Way where the leader's word was law for everyone. Never mind God's word. Step aside, God, we know your job better than you do. I love the diversity of the lives of the Christians I know now. And I love seeing the way God works in their lives. And I love being a part of God's real outreaching to the poor, dispossessed, homeless, needy. Thank God for His never-failing love and compassion.

I’m back in another country for a little while. My Corps notes and notes from all the classes I ever took are here. And also are letters from people I sponsored, who sponsored me, bless notes, etc etc etc. I’ve reread some of those letters. The pain in letters from SPs in the 1993-95 period is amazing. It’s class after class, after confrontation and reproof session…all about being better “in the word”, and so on. You know the story. There are letters from people I loved very deeply and many letters from someone I hoped for a future with. It didn’t happen. As so much didn’t. The pain came back as fresh and hurtfully as then. Oh, what we went through!!! I read some of the letters from these friends. I wept. I wept for the pain in their lives then, and in my life then, and for the missed opportunities and the broken hearts and the lives destroyed by leadership that didn’t or couldn’t care. By leadership that was misguided. By manipulation, sometimes. I wept for myself. For what I had wanted, and lost. For the plans I had, that were thwarted. I wept for the loving hearts of those who had cared and been deceived. I was reminded of the care and love we did once have for one another. For help that was genuinely given and received. What, one wonders, became of those people? May God bless them. And heal any remaining hurts or lingering pain. Without doubt I will have been a cause of pain to some. I am so sorry for that. There is a whole boxful of Corps notes and other such stuff. I am not even going to look at that. I don’t want to be reminded any more of it. This evening I am going to “burn the chaff.” The Corps notes and class notes will go. The letters from friends – letters of love and tenderness and genuine appreciation, as well as the reproof “you could do better” / “be more meek” type of letters, will all go. It'll be a good time. Maybe even with a glass or 3 of Merlot to help :). I hope to retain in my heart (and there alone) memories of good times, of genuine help and love given and received. I am thankful for the new song in my mouth, in my heart. Ps 40:3. God’s love never fails and keeps us even through the darkest places.

Missed out on all of those. Nearest I came was when we were clearing out Emporia prior to sale and J@que H rounded us worker bees all up one evening and took us to the camp fire area. It just seemed like a nice relaxing time. She seemed to enjoy it too. Nobody else around, no Ed H or LCM or anybody. Of course it would be a relaxing time.

From a well-known leadership epistle...on how to be a great leader of God's people: Nuff said. (By the by, remember: "strife" is one of the works of the flesh: Gal 5)

I've been in church meetings (real church!) when there have been little glitches - equipment doesn't work as it should, something starts when it shouldn't, the wrong words on the PowerPoint screen... and such things have always been handled most graciously - either no comment, or a good-humoured comment that so smooths the difficulty that you'd almost think it enhances the occasion. So very different from the nit-picky screamfests about not being sharp enough, not paying attention to detail, neh neh neh neh and making such an issue out of it that everyone freaks out and all they remember is how [name] got reamed out. Any positive impact or teaching is immediately overridden. Was it merely uncontrolled anger? Or was it in reality very carefully controlled anger, to elicit maximum stress and fear in the hearts of watchers - in case they themselves did something wrong. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Can't speak for VPW, was dead before I heard of TWI. But I endured enough screamfests from LCM. I'd handle those differently now (especially the personal face to face conftontations). Would get me slung out even quicker!!! LCM was manipulative too. I had a very quiet confrontation with him once. He looked at me so pained and I was told I was giving him sleepless nights with my conduct. He really didn't know why God kept putting up with me, but he (LCM) wasn't going to throw me out yet. I can't remember all the details now. It was (because he was so quiet and "patient" and "reasonable") all the more devastating. I think my crime was speaking to a male member of staff on more than a few occasions.

Anger management... now that's a big topic. You can see that those who shout and yell with "outbursts of anger" ... well, let's just say, "patience" is a fruit of the spirit and "outbursts of anger" are not. And "spiritual anger" is certainly not listed as a fruit of the spirit. Nuff said.

Yeah, Krys, I remember that...I was on Bev Crew. But he'd already recorded the AC itself. Then decided to teach it live to everyone. He'd already practised on the inrez WC, recorded some stuff... We got a nice presentation photo ... which I may still have ... D'ya know what? I just don't care. It's all a load of .... [supply your own description]. The spirit that they really couldn't discern was the spirit of God!!!! And if they can't discern that...why bother with anything else.

@ WordWolf - would you care to take the discussion whether God is good off onto another thread. It could be quite an interesting topic - but not here, please. @ Waysider - Yes, you walked outside the hedge of protection. So it's all your fault that you allowed access. Blame the victim. But that's not quite the idiom of permission in the grammatical sense. Just a giving of permission.