Suda

No way, Jose.

Winter here. Husband is autumn. Daughters spring and autumn, and son summer.

Thanks for dropping by and adding your perspective.

May your birthday abound with God's richest blessing! Suda

? B C A- D+ C G B C Kinda dense here. Did not understand question 1. No appropriate category describing my feelings for VPW and LCM, so rated on a continuum.

Congrats. Know you are a proud mama.

Great Paw and Raf. Keep them coming!

Good ones! Any more?

Soon after moving to Memphis, I was having one of those Murphy weeks - everything just going horribly wrong. I was being bombarded from every side by one bombshell after another, and the light that I saw at the end of the tunnel was another train rushing head-on towards me. I felt so all alone as I had no close friends nearby to turn to who could give me refuge from this storm of life. And this song came on the radio, and just eradicated all the fear, because it was like God reminding me He was with me, always, and I could lean on Him. And He wanted me to do so because He loved and needed me, in the way that all parents need their children to make their lives complete. Everyday of my life I am comforted with this knowledge. It doubles the joy and halves the sorrow of life each and every day. You Needed Me (Anne Murray) I cried a tear You wiped it dry I was confused You cleared my mind I sold my soul You bought it back for me And held me up and gave me dignity Somehow you needed me. Chorus You gave me strength To stand alone again To face the world Out on my own again You put me high upon a pedestal So high that I could almost see eternity You needed me You needed me And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true I needed you and you were there And I'll never leave, why should I leave I'd be a fool 'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares You held my hand When it was cold When I was lost You took me home You gave me hope When I was at the end And turned my lies Back into truth again You even called me friend Repeat Chorus You needed me You needed me

Only read most of page 1 of this thread before it seemed to turn into the "same old same old". MarkOMalley, I love reading your posts, they are poetry to my soul.

(((((Abi))))), So sorry for your pain. Am thankful that is your past, and not your present and future. It is so healing when we can change our mindset from being a victim to being a victor. To make the shift we have to face the past, work through the pain, put the blame at the appropriate feet, and acknowledge our responsibility or lack thereof in the situation. Then, we can control our lives, again, and no longer let the past control our present and future. When we overcome our past, we become conquerors. You sound like a victorious woman to me. Glad to be a victorious conqueror, Suda

T-Bone, You and all the male GSers are welcome here. Especially if they are . . . I sure get a good chuckle out of jokes showing the foibles of us women.

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!" On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, five, and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus." A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment andthen said, "Did God throw him back down?" After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're the poorest preacher we've ever had."

Subject: Medical Insurance Explained!! MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED (Research done by the AARP Legal Department) Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye. --------------------------------------------- Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want? A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country. --------------------------------------------- Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification? A. No. Only those you need. --------------------------------------------- Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions? A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. --------------------------------------------- Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine? A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. --------------------------------------------- Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do? A. Poke yourself in the eye. --------------------------------------------- Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick? A. You really shouldn't do that. --------------------------------------------- Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office? A. Hard to say, but considering that all your risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot. --------------------------------------------- Q. Will health care be different in the next century? A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

Inner Peace I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard ona Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position... As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always rough draft before the masterpiece.

Jokes for theLadies This is to bright, funny women to make their day! And for bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it! One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. . . Whoosh. . .immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Think You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams. Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box." HOWEVER.....................................the correct answer is for most men is (see below) To run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers. They just love happy endings ! And another joke: Boy kills dog Two boys in Boston were throwing a baseball around when one was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy picked up a large stick, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, snapping the dog's neck. A reporter from the Boston Globe who witnessed the whole incident rushes over to interview the brave boy. The reporter pulls out his laptop and starts typing. The headline reads: "Brave Young Red Sox Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal." "But," the boy interjects, "I'm not a Red Sox fan." Tapping the delete key, the reporter replies, "Sorry, but I saw you playing baseball, and since we're here in Boston, I just figured you had to be." The reporter's fingers start flying around the keyboard again. The new headline: "John Kerry Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Dog Attack." "But I'm not a Kerry fan, either," the boy responds. The reporter, looking dejected, says, "Sorry young tyke. Since you're not a Red Sox fan, I figured you were at least for Kerry." "Well, I'm sorry to say that's not correct," the boy replies. "I'm a Texas Rangers fan and I really like President Bush." Relieved, the reporter finally has his angle for the story: "Arrogant Little Conservative B*stard Kills Beloved Family Pet"

You may have heard these before, but they will always make you Why We Love Children 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I p1ssed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ???" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later...."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a b1tch to iron." 6 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" 7 A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine..." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Sh1t! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." 10 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" 11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake ... The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type? Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer? Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills. Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! (A} Almost Boobs... {B} Barely there. {C} Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! They forgot the German bra. Holtzemfromfloppen!

Abigail, My heart goes out to you. It's such a hard time and decision. I agree with everyone above, you will know when the time is right. Look at it through your dear pets eyes, not yours. Let them go when they are ready, not when you are ready to say goodbye, because you may wait too long. We kept our dear Abby too long. We were keeping her in the bathroom off the kitchen because she could no longer walk, and thus laid around all day. Every day when we returned home, she would be in her excrement, and we had to bathe her. The last Friday, as I picked her up to bathe her, her hip bone protruded through her skin, and my heart broke as I realized I had waited too long. She had no feeling in her hind quarters, so I do not think she was in pain. Her tail was still wagging, and joy was still in her face because I was home and loving and caring for her. That night we had a farewell party for her. Each family member visited with her one by one, loved on her, and told her good-bye. The next morning, my dear husband took her to the vet. I was so thankful he did that, as I don't think I could have gone. When the children and I awoke, Abby had been put to sleep. Sudo had her in a box "casket" and we took her out the the family pet burial grounds at his parents house, and had a funeral for her. It was a dreary, rainy day, as if the world was mourning her loss with us. I will always remember that day, and how sorry I was that I had held on to her too long. I wish my last memories of her were of a whole body, not a broken one. I will keep you, and all your family, including your beloved pet, in my prayers.

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings .......... and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching." Moral - Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb, but all men..... are men. Don't waste your time worrying who you should be, because then you won't have time to be who you are.

Welcome Mr. Pipes. Glad to have you among us. A North Carolina girl at heart, Suda

I Love Bagpipes, Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, and many more to come. Hope your day is wonderful in every way. Suda

From Dorfus DippinSprinkles to Dorfus PottySquirt. Think I like may maiden surname better. Wish my parents hadn't stuck me with Dorfus, though. So I'm gonna change it to Funky, k?