T-Bone

Hey WordWolf and all, sorry I jumped the gun - it took awhile for me to realize what you meant by the first quote - that you were addressing me; however in defense of my stupidity I had assumed that WordWolf had nailed the picture - but in reality he never mentioned the title of the movie The Green Lantern - he just said he hadn't watched it - but never said the title. so oops my bad

You are correct, Human !

You're right on the Star Wars theme playing during the scene...I gave away half the title in my first post.

This is not a picture of Steve McQueen’s day off from the Bullitt set here's the rear-view-hood-ornament-camera of same scene

sorry - I couldn't resist a good setup

I thought Human without the bean said we shouldn't post a picture of Rudy Giuliani.

Great post WordWolf ! Besides being an informative answer to Grace’s good question it got me thinking how cults manipulate the memories of followers. Looking back, I think there were certain attitudes fostered in TWI – like having a disdain for anything in my past BEFORE I joined TWI. It was generally considered “old man” or “natural man” stuff…worldly, sinful and a waste of time since it had nothing to do with “the reality of God’s Word”...kind of a weird exchange - my old authentic memories are out - the new cult collective memories are in... AND Speaking of memories - in light of your post analyzing wierwille’s trip to India (btw thanks for the links to other relevant threads – I’ve saved those in my ever-expanding doc “some timelines in TWI history”) I am once again somewhat flabbergasted remembering my old mindset – how I uncritically accepted wierwille’s delusional memories – like the healing of the man’s lame arm in India…or the story of God telling him audibly that He would teach wierwille “The Word” like it has not been known since the first century…or (I think I heard this one from wierwille in the Advanced Class) how God taught him about revelation by helping him pick the wining horses at the race track…yeah – it’s embarrassing how I used to be so enthralled (maybe even bewitched) by his embellished and fabricated stories. I was inspired to respond to your post after recently watching an episode of the X-Files on Hulu. It’s season 11, episode 4 titled “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” ( see Wikipedia – X-Files episode The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat ) . A key character in this episode is a scientist named Doctor They who has discovered how to shape collective memory. In the latter half of the episode, Doctor They in a bold and honest move actually clues Mulder in on the nature of his work – and throws in a reference to Orwell’s “1984” – “who controls the past controls the future” – I read his novel ages ago but think his ideas are relevant to cult survivors (whether it’s a religious cult or even a political cult) – since in the imaginary world of the future George Orwell tells the story of most of the world being deceived by the historical negationism (also called denialism - historical negationism is the falsification or distortion of the historical record. It should not be conflated with historical revisionism, a broader term that extends to new evidenced or discoveries, fairly reasoned academic reinterpretations of history) and propaganda promoted by The Party…I did a little digging on that and found this analysis of the “1984” slogan “who controls the past controls the future”: “This is actually part of a longer slogan, one that goes: 'Who controls the past, controls the future: who controls the present controls the past'. This slogan says everything you need to know about the ruling Inner Party's views on history. Basically, it means the Party believes it has the authority to rewrite history, because they control the present. They rewrite historical events, sometimes completely, fabricating events that never happened, or sometimes merely tweaking certain speeches or photographs. This slogan, at its heart, means that not only can the Party rewrite history, but it can also control the flow of information, and the minds and thoughts of its citizens; therefore, the Party controls memory. Because the Party controls the memory of its citizens by controlling history, it also controls the present and the future. They can say or write anything they want, because they control the truth. To the Party, the truth isn't something as lame as 'what really happened.' No, to the Party, the truth is whatever they want it to be. And that could be anything, down to what country Oceania is at war with, or how many boots were produced in the last year.” From study.com academy lesson – slogans in “1984” == == == == By the way I am not a UFOs-aliens-paranormal-conspiracy theories-fanatic…As I expressed on another thread ( see here ) - I like the dramatic and creative way each episode shows the subtle interplay of critical thinking, one’s belief system, hunches and speculation work to solve a problem – and sometimes a problem is not solved and may even lead to more issues… Grease Spot helps to activate and/or develop a critical mind…I never thought I would still be drawing on my cult experience and what lessons I’ve learned. I could be wrong on this opinion of mine – but it seems like for a few years now there’s been a cult-like movement growing - one that challenges or disparages facts and science and promotes conspiracies, fear and division. I bet a lot of this strange and unsettling noise seems familiar to many cult survivors…and so …Circling back to my reference of “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” episode on X-Files you might enjoy reading a Screen Rant article on the 10 funniest X-Files episodes written by Irina Curovic – here is an excerpt from her article (oh and keep in mind this X-Files episode first aired Jan. 24th 2018, the episode was written and directed by Dan Morgan – who Curovic mentions right off the bat): "...Morgan lampoons the show, comments on the current political climate, and questions whether the X-Files, as a show, even has a place in today's society. The elusive and surprisingly upfront Dr. They straight up tells Mulder that no one even knows what's meant by 'the truth' anymore, so the truth no longer matters, meaning the X-Files no longer has a purpose. Listening to Dr. They's take on today's society is funny, but, in hindsight, it may inspire you to ponder at length about our ugly reality." from: Screen Rant - 10 of the funniest X-Files episodes

Grace, I agree with WordWolf – that is a great original question! That’s one of the many reasons why I keep coming to Grease Spot. Good questions often help us acquire knowledge, eliminate confusion, solve problems and often spur on further investigation. On a side note, for me Grease Spot is like a think tank for cult survivors – besides the intriguing questions and challenges we all bring to the table, there’s also a lot of empathy here - offering advice and different perspectives, pooling resources, and addressing cult tactics. Overall it helps me peel back the onion in terms of mental baggage, reexamining my experiences and even making some headway in the journey of self-discovery.

Continuing our clean-up-the-attic project we came across a PFAL headband we bought for our son while we were in residence at the Indiana Campus. At first I thought it may have been inspired by the Athletes of the Spirit video (which oddly enough had a cult-following from the very beginning ) but if memory serves, I think the headband in AOS was rainbow colored – not sure – anyway, a lot of the kids were wearing these – guess they thought it was cool – or maybe some wanted to imagineer themselves as “reverend” Twinkle Toes.

Hi , AC04Ohio that is a very interesting bit of information – and just speculating here but – I wonder if that was part of a feeble attempt to “reinvent” The Way International. I say “reinvent” meaning to remake or redo their corporate persona with some semblance of legitimacy – since the Power For Abundant Living book (the orange book) epitomizes wierwille’s unabashed plagiarism… You know – that had to be a decision from the top to get rid of the PFAL book…I’m just curious as to why… It really doesn’t matter how much TWI’s top leadership whitewashes the past – the insidious tactics, policies and procedures that wierwille instituted are still present…you can even change the label on the outside of a portable latrine (or cult) but it still has $hit on the inside.

Welcome to Grease Spot, AC04Ohio! I love your last line! That reminded me of my predicament of leaving TWI with no marketable skills – something I shared about on another thread - here I wish you the best on your journey.

Great points Rocky ! That got me thinking of how much I like to read…and often enjoy a good novel…makes for a nice break from Bible study, or something on history or philosophy. I remember the enjoyment and thought provoking ideas of watching sci-fi movies with my Dad – how we would philosophize afterward. I still remember my thoughts from reading one of my first grown-up type novels – The Invisible Man. A major theme of that novel is power corrupts. But as a young boy my thoughts on it were not as refined. My takeaway at the time was no human should have the ability to sneak around undetected and spy on people or steal from them – an invisible man does not become a god but a monster. Inspired by Rocky’s post I did some searching on the Internet for the value of fiction. And found a cool article by Keith Oatley who is a novelist and professor emeritus of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto. In the article A Feeling for Fiction , he says “Books, movies, and plays are more than just entertainment…They train us in the art of being human. He explains how fictional works nurture empathy and enhance our social and emotional lives…We tend to think of movie watching or book reading as passive activities. That may be true physically, but it’s not true emotionally. When we watch a film or read a novel, we join ourselves to a character’s trajectory through the story world. We see things from their point of view—feel scared when they are threatened, wounded when they are hurt, pleased when they succeed. These feelings are familiar to us as readers or viewers. But our propensity to identify with characters is actually a remarkable demonstration of our ability to empathize with others… …When we examine this process of identification in fiction, we appreciate the importance of empathy—not only in enjoying works of literature, but in helping us form connections with those around us in the real world. The feelings elicited by fiction go beyond the words on a page or the images on a screen. Far from being solitary activities, reading books or watching movies or plays actually can help train us in the art of being human…These effects derive from our cognitive capacity for empathy, and there are indications that they can help shape our relationships with friends, family, and fellow citizens.” End of excerpts == == == I started watching the X-Files on Hulu – the series revolves around 2 FBI agents Fox Mulder (his character has a degree in psychology and believes in the existence of aliens and the paranormal) and Dana Scully (her character is a medical doctor – and a skeptic and is assigned to scientifically analyze Mulder’s findings) – together they investigate marginalized unsolved cases involving paranormal phenomena – furthermore they have discovered a hidden agenda of the government to keep the existence of extraterrestrial life a secret. What intrigues me about the show is how both characters resonate with me being a person of reason and of faith. For me following the trajectory of these two characters is not about being a big believer in UFOs and the paranormal . It has more to do with how I try to process my little world. . There’s a tension inside – I believe there’s a lot more going on around the world and in my own life than what I can perceive with my senses, I mean I study the Bible, I pray, I hope, I try to be of service to others. And sometimes I just get caught up in the nuts and bolts of the daily grind - and I don't see much past the next thing to do...2020 has been a hell of a year! Stay hopeful Twinky – relax and enjoy a good story. Love and peace T-Bone

Nice thread Annio – and good input by everyone… == == == == Bolshevik’s reference to quote about Hitler made me think on an episode of The Office where Jim offers to help Dwight draft an acceptance speech for his salesman of the year award. As a prank Jim plagiarizes from old speeches of dictators like the Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini. Jim even suggests Dwight forcefully pound on the podium to give certain lines more impact. It’s hilarious to watch Dwight’s rousing acceptance talk – it sounds more like some eve of battle speech to get you pumped to go to war – and how it excites the audience – and how their applause boosts Dwight’s confidence…(the episode is so funny I guess it even warranted a Wikipedia article on Dwight’s Speech episode of the office )... Just thought I add a little levity to this thread - anyway here's the scene: Dwight’s acceptance speech – on You Tube

What if there was a post-credit scene like… …after the last credit goes by – the camera on the right side of the auditorium turns 90 degrees left and keeping the audience in view slowly rolls behind the curtain toward backstage where we find Craig boinking the born-again-of-the-wrong-seed character. Other interesting origin stories might make a good movie - Chris G’s passing of the patriarch, the birth of offshoots, lawsuits against Martindale/TWI, waydale, transchat, and Grease Spot. == == == == DVD bonus features: I remember at the Rock, Craig referencing the movie “Staying Alive” and said the devil stole his idea for that movie. Staying Alive - Travolta's descent into Satan’s alley Staying Alive – dancing with the devil == == == == Oops where’s my manners? Forgot to say welcome to Grease Spot, Galvatron (cool name btw)… ...and I hope my post didn’t turn you off…I actually agree with your sentiment of historical preservation. That’s why I’ve held on to all my TWI books, magazines, Sunday Night Tapes, corps teachings and various memorabilia. All that represents a significant portion of my life…and there’s lots to sort through for good and bad stuff – and helps me get a better understanding of a cult mindset (something that always fascinates me) which on a practical level is always useful in discernment - whether it’s in politics, news, social media or whatever.

We were resources indeed! I don’t believe wierwille was capable of healthy interpersonal relationships – where people have common interests and there’s transparency, honesty, tolerance, respect, trust, etc.. He was more like a crafty salesman intent on getting the lion’s share out of any "business deal". In an article by Darlene Lancer a licensed marriage and family therapist, she explains the cold and almost business-like arrangements in the life of a narcissist: "narcissists can be selfish, hurtful, and cold when it doesn’t serve them to be charming or cooperative. To them relationships are transactional. Rather than respond to feelings, they’re interested in getting their needs met―sometimes, even if it means exploiting others, cheating, lying, or breaking the law. Although they may feel excitement and passion in the early stages of a relationship, this is not love, but lust. They’re known for their game-playing. Sacrificing for a loved one isn’t in their playbook. Their lack of empathy also inures them to the pain that they cause others, while their cognitive, emotional intelligence gives them an edge in manipulating and exploiting others to get their needs met." From Psychology Today - How to Think Like a Narcissist and Why They Hurt People == == == == and from another article: "Transactional relationships are economic and functional. They’re based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends." From The Ladders career advice website (you might enjoy reading the entire article as it presents and contrasts healthier interpersonal relationships for all those involved - called transformational relationships) In my humble opinion, transactional relationships is a key concept to understanding how wierwille and certain upper leadership may have looked at people... if you seriously challenged or questioned wierwille, leadership, the ministry or didn't want to ignore some scandal or serious issue then basically your relationship with wierwille, leadership, the ministry was over - – as Rocky comments based on Buber’s book “I and Thou” expressed, you are no longer useful to the ministry. I think part of corps training instilled lopsided transactional relationship “principles” in folks - - here’s where we learned what to value...what to prioritize...you don’t look at the individual needs of a person but rather at how they should conform to the ministry - and even beyond that...I remember - I think it was Townsend who co-opted JFK's quote - "ask not what the ministry can do for you - ask what you can do for the ministry"...we learned to look at people through a what-can-I-get-out-of-you-lens...we looked at numbers - how much is your branch abundantly sharing? How many PFAL classes have you run? How many are going WOW and corps from your area? These are the things that determine whether or not you’re a good sales marketing manager - whether or not you are useful to The Way International. The Bible details Jesus Christ's dedicated service to others and how he encouraged his followers to do the same. Isn't it odd how wierwille et al upended that - followers are to serve The Way International.

Amen Grace! Sometimes when I reflect on my past I am turned off by how eager and egotistical I was to dream of changing the world – to the detriment of what I put into relationships with my wife and kids. I mean - I could be the most understanding, patient and supportive person toward anyone I was “under-shepherding in The Word” – but with very little energy leftover for my family – so I could be a major insensitive a$$hole at home. Don’t get me wrong –I’m not knocking the folks that can handle it all – I just think we all have different capacities and don’t think I have the energy level to be a pastor, preacher, or some activist AND a family man. Speaking of energy levels – we recently got into watching What We Do in the Shadows a mockumentary comedy horror – of centuries-old vampires interacting with the modern world and other supernatural beings on Hulu. One character Colin Robinson is an energy vampire who lives by draining humans and vampires of their energy by being boring or frustrating – see What We Do in the Shadows – Colin Robinson, energy vampire …It’s a very funny show and the energy vampire makes me think of those night owls after-meetings in the corps – there was always someone who would drone on for all eternity about how they "really got delivered by that last teaching"…oh yeah, akin to Colin’s energy vampire What We Do in the Shadows has an emotional vampire (played by Vanessa Bayer) – who is an advanced form of energy vampire — an emotional vampire — who feeds off of the pity and sadness generated by her outlandish stories of suffering and misfortune. That makes me think of the repeat “offenders” in those unnecessarily super-extended night owls – wondering about the “efficacy” of the deliverance. == == == == DVD bonus feature: What We Do in the Shadows theme song

well...to give you the whole picture - dogs & cat are somewhat picky with the dry food we give the in the morning - currently it's Nutro brand (to be clear it's specific for dog and cat - in other words we're not giving dogs and cat the same thing - it's just the same brand formulated for dogs or cats). in afternoon we give dogs some Purina moist & meaty dog food packets & some Milk Bones - and cat gets some Blue Wilderness moist canned cat food - no sign of picky eaters at that meal. we're looking into some homemade recipes - here's a couple of websites we've looked at for ideas: Pets Web MD homemade food for cats homemade meals for dogs & cats from All The Best Pet Care website.

we've got 2 older dogs and a 2 year old cat. The 2 older dogs seem to have gotten pickier on food - and recently even the cat; we switched from Blue Wilderness to Nutro - but they all still tend to be picky...Tonto says we ought to start giving them homemade meals - it sounds like a lot of work to me...don't know what we'll do.

Holy cow, Twinky - the refurbishing and clean up projects are huge undertakings!

Twinky, I always enjoy hearing about your outgoing church - so community-minded...very inspirational! makes me want to dust off my old catechism ... ...btw a cat-A-chasm is the profound difference between a house cat and a feral cat...but if they can’t work out their differences - you’ll have a full blown cat-A-schism on your hands (or paws). all joking aside - I love hearing about what you church does - I think it's so cool!

Hopefully something cheered you up...I thought Rocky's post of the cat that thinks it's a dog was so funny - I love animal videos but it never occurred to me to post something like that even though I know you're gaga about cats...my bad. what's a subgenre of horror films that feature cats? category alternate spelling: cat-A-gory British spelling: categourie Cats who want to pay their own Vet bill should go directly to the fee-line.

Hi Twinky, Something in this mess may cheer you up…an idea for a Halloween costume and some You Tube videos: My idea for a Halloween costume - Frankenstein 2020: all the surgical stitches will be replaced with Velcro. I love this SNL skit because it's so ridiculous - there is no real difference in how each character says the line "oh man, I'm all outta cash" - I drove Tonto nuts when I found different ways to insert this line in a conversation Del Taco commercial shoot on SNL That idea of no big differences reminded me of another SNL skit - in an acting class Phil Hartman explains the nuances of acting SNL acting class - this is something - this is nothing We recently watched Gremlins with our daughter who never saw it - afterwards our son sent me this You Tube video link; here's a fun fact from IMDB - Howie Mandel is the voice of the main gremlin Gizmo Where did the Gremlins go? This video never fails to make me laugh Jack Sparrow – SNL digital short

We don’t get into Facebook or any social media…however me, Tonto and our daughter participate in a few Zoom meetings for special needs programs and they use a password besides the Zoom ID for access – they email the access info to all the parents/participants – I think the extra security of a password was necessary after we've all heard in the news about some ne’er-do-wells zoom bombing…Perhaps you can coordinate a zoom meeting time/date by a general announcement (no Zoom ID/password given) and then Grease Spotters will have to private message the coordinator for ID and password. You could even express some stipulations in the general announcement – like access to the Zoom meeting is limited to established Grease Spotters with at least X amount of months on Grease Spot and that regardless of their reputation or opinion of TWI/wierwille/whatever, they have demonstrated respect for others, respect for the Grease Spot rules and seem trustworthy that they won’t go blabbing the zoom ID / password to others…and of course if a zoom bomb happens – other than trying to do detective work on finding the stool pigeon you can simply change the Zoom ID/password.

Hi Bobby Truth, That’s a great question! When I read the title of your thread the first thing that popped into my head was that each person needs to figure that out for themselves…the next thing I did was google “who should a person trust?” and the first hit by my browser was the article I’ve posted some excerpts from – excerpts and the link are as follows…oh and welcome to Grease Spot Excerpts from 5 Ways to Decide Who You Can Trust: One of the most important decisions you make in life is deciding who to trust. Trusting the wrong person can result in abusive relationships, date rape, being taken advantage of, financial losses, and many more undesirable outcomes. It would be nice if the sociopaths who lurk among us actually looked suspicious, and if the psychopaths wore labels saying "Be scared—be very scared." Unfortunately, this is not the case. In fact research shows that people with narcissistic personalities—who tend to manipulate other people for their own selfish ends—actually present as especially charming and attractive on first impression. They also are more likely to have high-status jobs or possessions. So how do you avoid the con man or serial seducer? Understanding your brain's automatic wiring may hold the key… How You Can Make Better Choices About Whom to Trust 1. Step back and take time to think. Don't make important decisions on impulse, whether it's a major purchase, an investment, a change of jobs, joining a gym, or deciding to leave a party with a stranger. Better to go home and mull over the costs and benefits, or consult with a friend whose judgment you trust, before acting. 2. Beware the hard sell. Many retailers (and lots of online coaches) know that your brain makes less accurate decisions on impulse. If we make decisions on the spot, we are more likely to be drawn in by a special deal or promise that sounds too good to be true. So beware of any offer that expires in the few next hours, or "one-day only" sales. Sellers will create the appearance of scarcity to lure you into making quick decisions. This means your amygdala decides, rather than your prefrontal cortex, which is designed to weigh choices based on rational factors and past experience. 3. Beware of people who move too fast in relationships. If you just met a person and they want to be your best friend or the love of your life, be careful: At minimum, this person is probably impulsive and doesn't think things through before acting. They may be projecting a fantasy onto you, or be more into "intensity" than real intimacy when it comes to relationships. They may thrive on drama—then move on quickly when they get bored. At worst, they may be deliberately creating an appearance of intimacy to seduce you or lure you in. The wisest thing is to ask the person to back off a bit so you can take time to get to know them. Decide on your own limits ahead of time—and stick to them. 4. Ask yourself what this person is really about. Some people are really good at projecting a confident, sexy, fun-loving spirit or making you feel really attractive and important. But if you take a step back, you may want to ask yourself: How well you actually know this person? And how much are they really into you? Do their eyes wander around the room, looking for their next conquest or to see who is admiring them? How do they treat people like the waitress or cab driver? If you listen carefully to what they say, what are the underlying values? Are they critical and contemptuous of others? Do they remember what you tell them? How considerate and thoughtful are they? Do they have close friends, or are they close to their family? Asking yourself these questions can help you move beyond superficial aspects of the person, to consider qualities that are more important in the long-run. 5. Use your wise mind. Psychologist Marsha Linehan coined the concept of "wise mind" to describe a state of mind that integrates logical thinking with emotional awareness. It is a mindful state in which you make decisions by integrating different ways of knowing and don't cut off parts of your experience. If you feel an instant connection with somebody, take this into account, but don't make it the whole basis of your decision. In our wise mind, we don't ignore emotions, but we also don't get so caught up in them that we see only what we want to see, instead of what is actually there. In brain terms, wise mind means integrating our amygdala's intuitive reactions with the wisdom of past experience and knowledge about the world. end of excerpts from Psychology Today – 5 ways to decide who you can trust There's a lot of good technical stuff in the article and I just posted some choice excerpts - so you might want to check out the whole thing...once again that's a great question Bobby Truth - I'm glad you started this thread !!!

Great post, Annio ! Your post reminded me of something along the lines of what I shared on Grease Spot years ago – your post got me thinking so I googled “is it healthy to reimagine a past experience?” (which got me to a Psychology Today article that’s pretty much on point - I’ll give excerpts and link below); I also learned there’s a term for it – counterfactual thinking (which led me to a Wikipedia article – I’ll give excerpts and link below). First here’s what I said in a 2006 post about reimagining the time wierwille showed our family corps his doggie-porn video: "I've fantasized about time travel – or maybe it's more like a Quantum Leap episode – where I'm actually back in one of my TWI experiences – but I know then what I know now – and also have the nerve to stand up for my convictions – sort of a new and improved me displacing the wimpified spineless dullardesque core of my being…I can just imagine the re-make of the pajama party incident in my first post: We've just finished watching that sick doggie/women porn video, old Pervertwille is now showing that porn pen to the 16 year old girl. Suddenly I jump up while at the same time bellowing out some primordial roar that has amassed such force that I can no longer contain it. Of course all eyes are now upon me – but my eyes are locked in with his – I can hear Maverick's voice in my head "I've got tone, I've got tone!!!!!!!!!!" And then I slowly…deliberately…with all the emotion and drama of a thespian on steroids I say, "It is a disgrace for me to be here today. Why don't you just pack up all your perverted paraphernalia, Spanish Flies, Jedi mind-tricks – along with your lecherous weird-willie, get on your mobile-sacrificial-altar-for-sex-slaves [a.k.a. the Motor Coach] and get the heck out of Rome City." I know that's kind of weird and strange thinking – but I actually do that sometimes – not to re-write any personal history, or re-interpret an experience to absolve myself of shame or guilt – but use it more as a self-corrective tool. My mom used to say "two wrongs don't make a right", [praise to mothers for passing on such great proverbs]. It's wrong to not get angry at the stuff VPW did! Putting my conscience on the back burner is wrong on my part! It is a sin of omission! I don't know - is there such a thing as hijacking someone's moral compass? Anyway – I'm not one to blame something like this on someone else. I turn that righteous anger on myself sometimes – as I realize how I was not vigilant in the care of my soul – and I let a thief inside…That anger hurts – yes a stinging motivation to change – but as you mentioned from that book on your Righteous Anger thread – in that righteous anger I also begin to see things from God's viewpoint – His creation at war with itself….I see it as a part of the healing process of my conscience. (From TWI's Sedative to the Conscience ) As silly, ridiculous and farfetched as my above quantum leap episode sounds – imaginatively reframing that event the way I did accentuates the importance of having a moral compass, not letting a cult leader dazzle, bamboozle or bully my soul into submission, nor buying into the “freedom” or “spiritual maturity” peddled by a predator who himself was enslaved to moral depravity. I cannot change what happened in the past. But I can choose to learn from my mistakes. As far as what-if scenarios - It goes without saying that if I never took PFAL…or never went WOW…or never went in the way corps…I never would have been so exploited by a cult…and realistically speaking if I would have actually made such a big scene as I reimagined at the Rome City Campus I would have been immediately escorted off campus in my pajamas and back jack . Indeed there’s been a lot of folks who stood up to wierwille, Craig, etc. and lived to tell about it (whether they left "under their own steam", or were thrown out, or reassigned to a Twig in Siberia…or whatever ) – and I say kudos to them !…my counterfactual thinking represents how I learned to wake up from a Kool-Aid drunken stupor and grow a spine. I tend to look at my bad cult experiences as some costly battle scars that have made me thick-skinned... armor-plating against ravenous wolves. == == == == Next this article “When Is Reimagining the Past a Sign of Emotional Health? Counterfactual thinking linked to depression and anxiety lacks empowerment” by Barb Cohen (a teacher, writer, and educational advocate with seventeen years of experience parenting an autistic daughter) has a few interesting ideas I wanted to point out. She mentions research that indicates people suffering from severe anxiety and severe depression ruminate over past experiences more than people identified as emotionally healthy and in light of that what’s critically important to our mental well-being is focused reflection on bad experiences but with the intent of learning what we can from past experiences and moving on; counterfactual thinking can be beneficial when we reframe a narrative in terms of cause and effect – which really is just rethinking what alternate action or decision we could have made which would produce a different result. Barb relates an experience of her being mugged and rather than focusing on the prevalence of crime which would deny her any power to change – she focused on what made her an easy target to muggers - and what she needed to change going forward. From her article: “…If only” thought processes have a name: counterfactual thinking. By altering in our imaginations an element of something that has happened, we can learn how to act differently in the future (If I had studied harder for that test, I would have performed better on it. Next time I’ll study harder.), or we can better appreciate what we have (It took me two hours to get home from work, but it would have been worse if I’d been the person who was injured in the car crash that tied up traffic). This all makes sense and seems rather intuitive. What’s interesting is that the parameters people alter are predictable and intimately connected to their emotional well-being. Most people will mentally revise actions rather than inactions, causes rather than background conditions, and controllable events over uncontrollable ones. In contrast, people suffering from anxiety or depression, or those with atypical executive functioning pathways, mutate elements that are likely immutable. Consider the following true story: When I was in college, I spent a semester studying and working in Washington, D.C. The apartment building in which I and the other students were housed sat adjacent to Rock Creek Park in a not-so-nice part of the city. One evening after work I went to the Kennedy Center to purchase a ticket to see Hal Holbrook performing a one-man show as Mark Twain, and then I took a bus back to my apartment. I disembarked at a bus stop about three hundred yards from my apartment at approximately 7:00 in the evening, i.e., after rush hour crowds had subsided. A light rain had begun. Most of the other commuters who got off the bus with me walked down the sidewalk, mostly heading north, but I chose to cross the street and then walk north. As I walked north, alone, on a dark, drizzly night, I kept my head down to keep my face dry. I was preoccupied thinking about the weather and about Hal Holbrook, an actor I’d had a crush on ever since I saw All the President’s Men where he starred as Deep Throat. Before I realized what was happening, three young men were right in front of me, and one was reaching for my purse. I held onto my purse, and another of the young men punched me in the face. The first one grabbed my purse and they fled south. The incident destroyed forever my perception of my own invulnerability. Now, as an experiment in counterfactual thinking, there are a lot of ways this scenario could be changed. On the “grateful” side, the three boys could have dragged me into Rock Creek Park and hurt me well beyond a swollen jaw. On the “learning from the incident” side, I could have held my head up and stayed aware of my surroundings, or I could have walked on the same side of the street as the other people, or I could have handed my purse over immediately. All of these changes involve actions rather than inactions, causes rather than background conditions, and controllable rather than uncontrollable events. And, in fact, I now walk with crowds, scan the streets, avoid walking alone in the dark, and instruct my children to hand over their valuables immediately if they are approached by robbers… … Research shows that people suffering from severe anxiety and severe depression ruminate over past experiences more than people identified as emotionally healthy. Ideally, people learn what they can from past experiences and move on. In fact, replaying a counterfactual scenario repeatedly usually results in the counterfactual seeming less plausible with each replay… … What accounts for the nature of a person’s counterfactual thinking? Agency. For upward (how things could have been better) counterfactual thinking to be functionally beneficial, one needs a coherent story of cause and effect. Then the cause must include a personal action or decision. If this criterion is absent, it’s time to make peace with the event in a Buddhist sense of acceptance or to stay mired in it unhelpfully. Finally, an actor needs to have the ability to effect a change in future behavior. That’s a tall order… … Framing a story is an act of will. When we build a narrative (and we each have a multitude of correct narratives), we are implicitly building a story of cause and effect for our lives. I choose to blame my lack of vigilance for my mugging, because I can change that. If I chose to focus on the prevalence of crime, I would also have a valid narrative, but it would deny me any agency. It would be true, but not as useful as some other versions of the truth. Counterfactual thinking is a powerful instinct. Whether or not we grow with it is like choosing at a fork in the road. What was down that other path?” End of excerpts from Psychology Today – when is reimagining the past a sign of emotional health == == == == And here’s some excerpts from Wikipedia on counterfactual thinking which I found interesting. Basically I think we’ve all practiced it many times in our lives – since it’s how we learn from our mistakes and try to avoid dangerous and undesirable scenarios...who knew - it's a real thing with a name....anyway here's Wikipedia: “Counterfactual thinking is a concept in psychology that involves the human tendency to create possible alternatives to life events that have already occurred; something that is contrary to what actually happened. Counterfactual thinking is, as it states: "counter to the facts". These thoughts consist of the "What if?" and the "If I had only..." that occur when thinking of how things could have turned out differently. Counterfactual thoughts include things that – in the present – now could never happen in reality because they solely pertain to events that have occurred in the past… Counterfactual thoughts have been shown to produce negative emotions, however they may also produce functional or beneficial effects. There are two types of counterfactual thoughts, downward and upward. Downward counterfactuals are thoughts about how the situation could have been worse; and people tend to have a more positive view of the actual outcome. Upward counterfactuals are thoughts about how the situation could have been better. These kinds of thoughts tend to make people feel dissatisfied and unhappy; however, upward counterfactuals are the kind of thoughts that allow people to think about how they can do better in the future. These counterfactual thoughts, or thoughts of what could have happened, can affect people's emotions, such as causing them to experience regret, guilt, relief, or satisfaction. They can also affect how they view social situations, such as who deserves blame and responsibility… One may wonder why we continue to think in counterfactual ways if these thoughts tend to make us feel guilty or negatively about an outcome. One of the functional reasons for this is to correct for mistakes and to avoid making them again in the future. If a person is able to consider another outcome based on a different path, they may take that path in the future and avoid the undesired outcome. It is obvious that the past cannot be changed, however, it is likely that similar situations may occur in the future, and thus we take our counterfactual thoughts as a learning experience. For example, if a person has a terrible job interview and thinks about how it may have been more successful if they had responded in a more confident manner, they are more likely to respond more confidently in their next interview… Another reason we continue to use counterfactual theory is to avoid situations that may be unpleasant to us, which is part of our approach and avoidance behavior. Often, people make a conscious effort to avoid situations that may make them feel unpleasant. However, despite our best efforts, we sometimes find ourselves in these unpleasant situations anyway. In these situations, we continue to use counterfactual thinking to think of ways that that event could have been avoided and in turn to learn to avoid those situations again in the future. For example, if a person finds hospitals to be an uncomfortable place, but find themselves in one due to cutting their finger while doing dishes, they may think of ways they could have avoided going to the hospital by tending to the wound themselves or doing the dishes more carefully…” End of excerpts from Wikipedia – counterfactual thinking sorry for the long post, folks - but I thought there was a lot of helpful information to pass on. good night - sweet dreams everyone