pond

I told you I did not eat flufy the cat!

I have had a gun held to my head , ex husband friends looking for him at 3 am, first time, cops coming to find ex husband pointed a gun at me at 3 am a few weeks later... what is it with criminals and cops always looking fro people in the middle of night? Ex husband. I saw a guy get shot at a carnival many years ago right in the head, really dead. I didnt ask why . then i had a real live cop show in front of my house the cops were chasing this truck blocked him with another cop car got out and pulled their guns and told him to lie down in the street . Here was my son riding his bike all around the truck with both cops having their guns on the guy. that wasnt scary for some reason. the guy did not have a gun that i saw but the cops sure did all over him. I heard they were loking for him because he stole money from a bar down the street. I do not know. the prisoners in orange suits are county jail birds not federal the federal prisons of which we have four or five in NY do not allow them to go outside but they can have sex with their spouses in little trailers for a weekend My friend husband was in for just pointing a air rifle at a cop he didnt even see him but the cops freaked and said it a "hostage' situation ( he was shooting the birds) neighbors called him in( yeah he was a little hung over from a party), I was watching TV I was at the party the night before and also a little hung over so i called my friend and siad hey your on TV!!! helicopers and everything !! she said really cool! I said NO they think your a hostage and she was to frightened of the dam swap team and everything eles to go outside she was also a little hung over. . Really not a good day. they got him in state house 8 years and they had wekends she had to be locked in with him!!!!

It is counted as a type of community service here. A successful prisoner can lessen his time in jail . We have overcrowding that is so unreasonable it has been determined in violation of the states codes.. wher do ya put them all? so they do weekend stints on the highway or city streets and are under house arrest the rest of the week if they have a job. We have had several escapes they do not shoot them when they run but got t tell ya they find them again and nw they have an escape charge which is a federal crime and no more fresh air for a long long time.

I am not a pond . To you Im words on a computer screen. to the rest it varies . I trust God and myself enough now to not worry about trusting any person.

I recently took a very long class, four weeks, six days a week eight hours a day with a two hour commute. It was very intese, the leaders and teacher and professors varied and we had to alot of self work. one was of course to write your weakness in different roles of your life. ok ok What surprised me is this group of mostly women and sucessful women said Independence was their largest down fall . they all had families three of the four had grand children , and had been awarded and very successful and yet independence was their weakness. to not be able to say I cant do this. I need help I am not able was a problem. no problem with leadership: management such as i I will not, it was an issue of i can not. always able. and twi forced the same type of mind set that weakness was forbid as you said. your not alone. I had a horrid day when i came home the phone was ringing it was a gal i had met in that class.. a loser really but man do I love her.. so she said you know "how are you ? " I said" I really suck" she laughed and said "yeah me to. " she made my day my week ,my life by just being my friend. because i need her to call and i need her to understand I really am not in good shape and I have needs. and she cant really help me at all , but I felt better after we spoke. and it is ok that is why I have friends. .. Because when i need to fall short of whatever the heck it is life demands and I aint good enough friends are there to say it is alright because i need you when the same happens to me. I think that is why people love pets so very much because they just look at you and say hey I still love ya no matter what. that is what friends do . I wouldnt be able to live without friends and I get new one all the time because i meet people and tell them I really am not so great at this or that etc. but i have a nice new zucchni blossom wanna see it? I have weakness, it may be I am independant as I am truly able , but only because I need people alot more than I do not. Even though i can do it myself just fine. and I admit my issues to myself and to them because that is who I am . I think humanity is messed up not humans. we all have alot more in common than not. and i leave the door open for it to be a "loser" or a huge winner or a freak because (surprised! i have been )they sometimes turn to be the very very best friends of all . I am not telling alot of people im out for the count now the few that do know have sent money.. call me everyday wanting details and I want to be "private", like twi taught.. secrets do not work in love trust me it truly is unrelenting if it is real. i have to learn to accept love everyday. no it isnt as easy as it sounds from a place from higher powers and devil spirits evading every soul and judgement and pride and all the crap twi gave our mind. I just have to remember I need them because independence can truly be our weakness.

I really do not keep track of who writes what . so i would not know as well as some , about the labels and such. I just write for me . Unity is not on or off my agenda .. in fact i do not have an agenda at all. Any discussion of political or religous sorts will make for controversy . If you asking will it get personal?? What exactly are you afraid or cncerned about if you write these letters ?

I think a man who is strong in character as in peaceful and aware and content where he is and what he is doing . not aloof but rather disinterested unless it is worth it sort of way. a guy who has a life of his own as in able to feel and expreess without the permission of a woman. to complicated? nah i have met them .I think they are sexy .

Doctrine people are serious about Doctrine. they are indoctrinated! yeah my vote would you will be "flamed". why?? because people want validation for what they believe strongly about.. and if that cant happen.. then they get emotional and when that gets out of control then... call 911.

ooo do they think it could be a past employee? This is sad and frightening for the kids. sure i will pray. I thought sidney was like medium size city.

i know i think i have a little picture in my minds eye about how some posters look and sound. that is such a funny things about us isnt it? trust is not an issue for me. I do not have my personal needs met at greaspot to the point I can allow another to have the space to hurt me. only because it is an internet forum and all the issues you have said. it is a perspective. Some have more time or just know more people from twi and they may be able to go a step further and ignite relationships from the past or new ones. to each his own. I do not write about all my evil crimes and hidden secrets so i do do not have a need to trust so much. ya know. my life is pretty a much a open book so it is a non issue for me. About some never being involved in twi.. Well i do not care i know some write on here like they must be the experts of all the way international was or is!! for me it was and forever will be an experience in time. and sometimes it is imprtant to me to know that how I think can be understood. where eles can that happen? I can tell. if im wrong and it is all a big illusion lol it wouldnt be the first time.. at least im not getting divorced or getting marked and avoided or being asked to interept a "language only God understands , and i can reuse if I am!!! haha

Healing.. interesting topic for me right now. At one time i had an attitude about this kind of thinking that most illness and injuries can just be "walked off" you know get over it and you will be ok. That is easy to say in your prime of life and twenty years old able to sleep 4 hours a night and go to work and function.. Raising a family affords little time for self much less care. and instead of being "healthy" your just neglected. It is an illusion. then middle age happens and we all take a perspective , I got healed alright of the fact i can no longer neglect what i should have attended to for many years .. my own self. How i got here was a journy as pipes says.. but once this wisdom hits I for one cant go back to the abuse of the only thing i have to carry me through a day. YOU can demand your mind to think in a certain manner... then your body demands right back at a point of time and says I matter and IM tired. So it is about a wholeness and a realization for me I am just flesh and blood living on . I believe we all will be "healed" of various mechanical failures one day but untill then I seek peace and comfort in a day by day type of life style.. make plans for the furture sure life is rich and full but along the path LIsten to what may need to change to have the system keep on ticking. God made us HUMAN.. I think with frailities and issues mental or physical .. to realize we are just that. NO need of His consel if we all had perfect thought and bodies that never malfunctioned. I have taken a time out, my feet being a mess waiting for surgery and i have decided to enjoy the time, and know i will be thankful when i can resume a busy life style. bloom where you are planted.

1 timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own house ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE OF HIS OWN HOUSE , HE hath denied the faith, and isworse than an infidel. 1 thessalonians 4 :11 to work with your own hands as we commanded you vs 12 tells him why he should work that he may walk honestly toward them that are without ANDthat you may lack nothing.l God clearly says he wants us to work and to provide for our family. but if he is a lazy man well what can you do?

I am also just a person . I feel and hurt and get frightened . i need you sometimes to understand you feel like my best friend . God dearly loves you and so do I. you can never do something so stupid or dumb or wrong i will stop trying to help you because i believe your a better part of who I am. i will always forgive you no matter what. will you tell me when your afraid please?

hehehe yeah that is right he does remeind you of that character. lol

i like the article . WHERE DO I CALL IT EVIL? HMMM? OOOOOOO YEAH I do not you just acuse me of it . that is not nice maybe , but again not evil, just typical of greaspot.

yes Dot this is a direct word by word section of an article written by "Kristin Burke" titled "Godly Grieving"" God can turn our tears of sorrow into songs of joy." It is in the may/june 06 sower magazine that STF generates. Unless friscoguy is Kristin Burke he took the article and pasted it on greaspot to hear the replies . Im not sure if it is right or wrong .. I just wanted the other posters to be able to read what eles Kristin Burke has to say about this topic as it is HER thoughts and sentiments and frisco guy only pasted some of it here.

lololol running around on a leash wearing a helmet . hahha i had a flash back my LAST child learned every thing fast from her older brothers snad sister walked at 9 months etc... i was tired and she was a grand OMG surprise in life. I lost all pride of proving to the world what a good mom i must be at that point. safety for all of us first. she had a leash and often ran around with a helmet on as she was riding her borthers two wheel bike down ramps at 3 . God bless them . When i was in school everyone had drivers education today it isnt even available unless you go to a private class which costs big money!!! good luck with that. i know my daughter said the reason she didnt pass her test was because she didnt know how to drive without screaming in the front seat.

I must have to much time on my hands . This is bothering me so i think i will metion it. this little commentary is from an article in the recent "SOWER" magazine. Sower is a magazine published by Spirit and Truth Ministry. friscoguy has clipped a SECTION of what a leader in that organization written testimony for the magazine has said and put it on this site. although he does not claim to be the author and says see the sower for more information and leaves a link .. i feel a little decieved. the woman who wrote this uses her real name if you want to see who wrote this and the rest of what she has to say about it please go to the site and read HER writings. The lady who wrote this has been on their teachings tapes .. is a leader in their ministry etc. MY ISSUE is why not say this in the first place it seems to me this is a back door approach to something fishy. granted it may be a mood swing on my part but i thought i would let you all know.

im glad conseling is helping you. yet i think grieving is very personal matter as is a person perspective of or where God fits in finding comfort and hope in life. Some chose medicine and it works wonders for them.. others do different things when we begin to define what everyone must need to be healthy i think it can very easily turn into control, without any real human growth. i have heard people say reflecting on the past and rerashing issues with family or friends has not helped but rather turned them into a angry pitiful person unable to see what life is for the day as well as your perspective.

Who really lives "the word" ? Really??? think about it. Jesus hung around with sinners and he hung with the arrogant priests who believed they had all the answers. the life of Jesus was surrounded with loving one another, because He knew how much God loves us, His very creation. I am a polly anna, i believe i know better in some areas of life so i do better. that isnt wrong it is wisdom. Jesus never joined in with the activities people would get prideful or fall into trouble with. I also am thankful to god and the bible for the instructions on how life was for Jesus and others who attempt to know who and what and how God is. Todayas christians none of us have to be good enough for anything, but it isnt a wild and crazy free for all.. use your wisdom , be thankful you do not have sin raking and ruining your life. sin causes problems other than just what anold liteture may say.. it is ok to use wisdom. Im not sure what the "church' has done to help you feel you can no longer associate with those who not attend.. but clearly you realize that was never our Saviours position towards people who didnt know God. Im not ashamed of not being a whore or paying my bills or living a good life without hurting others, i think God recognizes my effects here and some day i may be rewarded for the "good" i have done. Jesus commands we love one another. He doesnt say if you feel like it or if they live in your part of town, or if they are good or bad He just says love one another . IM not afraid of loving people, I no longer have the idea i can fix everything or that it needs to be fixed with what i can do in a situation.. for me that is why I have the Saviour as my lord.

i clipped coupons from the news paper ad and thought God was blessing me . sorry

i can take responsibility for the choices i made while involved in twi. I made them because i trusted the people who played with my head about God almighty. i had no motives other than wanting to belong to a group of people who claimed to be the chosen ones for God and said they cared and even loved me. not to metion the fact God loved them more. i do not apologize for being foolish, it happens to the best of all of humanity sometime. i do not apologize for making a bad call on who to trust and listen to. i may some day apologize for the legacy it has left in my enitre life.

I wore a nice cross necklace when i took the pfal class. I was told it is a murder weapon around my neck. I was told the croos is the tool Used to kill Jesus Christ so it is bad bad bad. ok I was involved in a cult and not a deep thinker forgive me. I still believe it is a murder weapon .......... But that I need to be reminded of that very fact. He was killed , no it was not his choice , did He know He would be raised? Well the word Faith comes to mind here I can think God promises a certain thing and low and behold surprise at the Unpredictabily of God as pipes thread talks about!!! Jesus had to believe He was who God said He was... Jesus was a man .. think about what He had to think about . Could you do it? Satan told HIM otherwise and the story being played out was one of faith in a God beyond the ability of ANY other man . the cross is a weapon used to murder men ... how we think about that fact is just where our faith is at. For me it reminds me of the fact a man was put to death because I am a sinner in Gods sight.. and He (jesus Christ) loved all of us enough to do something about it for today and all of everlasting. it isnt a bad thing to me (the cross) because I am thankful for what it means. I will never hang on it , I will live forever .. because of that cross.

Bag pipe can i print this? so wonderful and so right. and so truthful. about twenty years ago i had the prayer that twi said we are never to pray... God if your real get me out of this massive trouble IM in... I will never deny you again I promise i will always know that there is a God and He can and does answer prayers. I was delivered from my massive trouble very akin to sitting my hand in a butch of fire ants and i was also sweating and had a butch of crap in my life. Well the good news is i was delivered from that one specific prayer it was a miricle to me. Yet in the following two decades i have had more trouble. go figure. I was not always helped or had "answered prayer the manner i saw it should be". and sometimes i didnt understand and sometimes i was angry. On those days weeks and maybe even months on end when i doubted God , i would say to God I made a promise a long time ago to KNOW your real. If i can make that promise and stick to the fact i know how He and His Son helped me then , it will be enough . and i would end my prayer with a thank ful heart. even tho not understanding and angry and sad and overwhelmed. I said it was enough once and it was. BECAUSE Jesus Christ Died once and it was enough for all of us. life now is a perspective of just living every day and being thankful for HIS promises .

Be violent , get sent to war. why do they let them out? It may sound like a good idea, but America is founded on the principle of "we the people", we are a democratic nation with freedoms and rights. If our nation has a large amount of violent criminals it points to the issue of our nation to take care of our own issues. They are still American and they do still hold their rights and freedom while facing punishiment for a crime. this is how our government is designed. how politics work is a different story. NY has the death penalty , we also have the three strikes your out , 3 felonies and you face life in prison. How american is it to FORCE any american to go to war?? We do not at this time have a draft although i recognize it can be put in motion at any time . The soliders that fight for our freedom every day are NOT MURDERS , THEY are not violent , they are God loving good men and women who want to be good citizens . They are the best americans we could ask for in our life. they are our heros. In every sense of the word. So put in a butch of insane drug crazed maniacs and ask them to follow orders , in a WAR???? War is a planned out well organized event it is not a shoot out all hell bar mass murder. The Chief and his generals try to save life not kill our own people. those in prison for being violent are iin there for a reason , they are anti social and unable to concede to everyday norms and are killers and the lowest scum of our country. do you really think if you say now got to war and be a solider it will work? yeah they will just listen and obey and do what needs to be done and take responsibility for the safety of one another. it isnt going to happen they will kill one another off in a week. they will go a wall and be happy to live in another country , better than prison. think Cool waters what your dealing with.. it would take more just to keep them under control than the war itself. they would go to the enemy and make deals and be traitors. They are criminals hello. do you really think americas finest citizens NEED them? In our very hour of need? how very insulting to those who give up their life and family and SERVE our country.