pond

sure when it all goes good. i for one I guess have made mistakes in life. Im glad life went so smooth for you that you never had to say OH CRAP I WAS wrong on that one! Just what do you need the grace of God for then? it didnt go as planned and believe it or not at times I have been at the very mercy of what OTHERS have done to me. guess what? people i love got hurt badly innocent people who didnt deserve my own ignorance or stupid choices GOT HURT and I think it should hurt every single darn time I look in the mirror so much it will not happen again!!!! it hurts enough for me to get on my knees and pray every single day prauy for forgivness and for strength and for wisdom . still.

when we understand something we can explain it. some of the stuff people go through in life is not understood. so who can explain it? except the mouse he shows a good lesson in life ask and you shall recieve , the thing is if you ask in judgement or think they must be lying because you do not understand it can not be explained to you. ya know? hence the grease spot forums

I was marked and avoided. I think Jesus Christ marked me I really do. for me it was the utter grace of God i got out. i even went back about 6 years later!!!! it was not the same lol right dooj hind sight is easier. we were tricked by a very serious thing white dove. for me to sit here tit for tat and say well at least i didnt do THAT!!! doesnt help anyone. it hurts in fact. bad mouse

Well i did just that i was marked and avoided for speaking up . sounds like a good thing now. almost thirty years later. but let me say whether you chose to believe it or not it also destroyed many many years of MY life. i for years thought God was angry at me i was a lesser not funny for a cult girl . sooooooooo white dove i did do "the right thing" in your eyes and i also suffered alot for it. so did my family. that is why i can not judge those who did put up with abuse, i do not get it but i cant judge it.

White dove it wont happen such was and is the mentality of people, in the cult. I wish i could explain to you what it is like to be marked and avoided shunned by the very people who you for the most part lived with and about daily for years. years later or even months I walking down the street being TOLD what happened to me and my life!!!! hello it is me IM the one your using as a subject here!!! hello helllo not even a chance they would listen!! people in a cult convince themself of ridciulas excuses and answer for doing and living and being for so long they really do lose the ability to hear the truth of a situation if it doesnt fit with how they justify their own head and thought and actions in life. . this happened to me white dove and at first I was shocked and it showed me just how stuck peoplel can get processing the stuff we did. twi was not a butch of truth seekers hell no it was truly a mind set of fear and who is who and all in the name of speaking for God. scary stuff. since i have left my biggest struggle in life is truly trusting people , i think many of us struggle with that fact. and it isnt just because others lied to us it is because we lied to our own self , it shatters the ability to look at a situation without a serious spin no matter how insane it really is. it takes alot to get over and many here are still working on that part of life.

if i had not gotten involved with twi what happened to me and my family would not have happened. and my story is so horrid i will not share it on the internet because of the manner and style it is what it is. it in fact took me twenty years to even tell a complete stranger what happened to us and she was indeed a nut case who had just told me she was a true nut acse and wanted me to love her. so she was the first time i ever told somone outside those who think they knew . odd how that happened but anyhow. many thought they had the whole spin ya know and would procede to tell me how it happened and what happened and they were not even remotely close to the truth but they were convinced they knew the truth better than me the one it acutaly happened to. i see this on grease spot today. so i do not share here. but i do not blame twi. nor do i blame the person who victimized us. i do not think it would have helped me , yes i did have years of rage but i did what i needed to do to take care of the problem and i have no regrets. and that is why i think of people who say they couldnt hear their sisters pain over the roar of the mininstry, people who stayed being hurt and knowing it was wrong for them. i do not get that either. i did take personal accoutability and did all i could to repair AFTER the damage was done . and i think i blamed myself for many years in stead of anyone or group. but not today if i went back and said i never should have gotten involved it never would have happened, well anyone beyond middle age knows that is just a foolish game that makes for a very bitter filled life. it did happenen and it happened in a ministry that said they stood with God. it drew me closer to who Jesus a mighty Christ is and it has been a very very long distance and road. im not always happy but i have found some degree of peace in life and i often look around and feel thankful . see i do not know what life would have been like without this fact we got hurt badly. but i see plenty of testimony of hate here and see zero peace in that . IN the news today a family had their three year old son eaten by their new dog. omg i bet they have regrets too, do we all? i think so... the blame game doesnt work for me, i think in a sense for me to forgive my own self for the trouble i got into i had to forgive them if you can understand that you understand me.

I was marked and avoided while in twi. I was involved with CES, stf, a along the years I never went to their conventions but went to see them here localy. I will say this I was shocked when i was marked by twi, BUT this in fighting at sft has hurt me much more. it isnt personal this time and no way can i even in the back of my mind think it must have been me all along. which i think i still do about twi . no the fact is they are fighting and they are crazy with the PP stuff. the good LORD is not letting me make any excuse this time. im very very sad about it. my brain says i should continue to support men who teach me the bible. my brain says it should be them because they must have some of the real truth cause they took pfal. my brain hurts, but my heart and ability to trust even more. I wish they knew how much they hurt me. i really had to try to trust them and I think i did a little and i know I wanted to keep trying. now nothing. and IM sad.

i couldnt do it. do they let you pick out your own cow etc?

ok cat cup . a long post indeed, I think the manner it was written needed clarifying . enjoy

It says here "my sister not only waited until after VPW died to tell me what happened". care to change it now? but 22 more years you do the math.

she waited till vpw died ok.

this is great!!! a very effective tool to sort thoughts ! good work! i have a headache today but i will try to do this when i feel better. thank you

wow that is sad catcup!

make no mistake of the Vast difference between a civil lawsuit settled out of court and criminal charges of being drugged and raped . LCM faced his accusers, he did not have criminal charges against him the people who have issues with vpw waited untill he was dead and use the internet as thier voice box for state criminal acts. If he was alive and they could not prove it as truth they would be sued for slander.

IM not in peril Catcup. what is your opinion on just why not one RECORD legal record of these charges against VPW? no one metions this stuff till he is dead enough . ironic hmm. it really doesnt matter who believes what other than those who say they are victims didnt believe it enough at the time to prosecute. that matters.

no one is dammed really. johnny. the feelings are strong. both ways. when i go to the lake it is so beautiful and peaceful till I smell the stink of the dead fish on the shore. how is one going to stop the other? cant do it really. but it is everyone opinion to form about what is written, the confusion is much is said in hear say and I think type of terms . Just the facts doesnt work here. because the man has been dead for decades and first person testimony about what happened to them is gone. this site is all about believing who you chose to believe and trust, and because of that the fact is when a poster has been around for awhile they have more "friends" or those who will understand what they are saying and jump in to support .

When I left twi I thought "the word" was the word study program they taught. I went to college learned how to learn and NOW I realize what they taught worked for them and their means. is it wrong? it is what everyone does if your honest every thing we learn has a agenda. from somwhere somehow. that is not bitterness or disbelieve to me it is the truth. I like bible verses. God knows i have learned them and read or heard Many of the spins and definitions . for me the word is my heart, what i know as truth. I could be wrong so im far from being the zealot twi taught people to be. bible verses are NOT clear or concise, the bible is NOT an easy read. the more you study it the more you will realize that. if it is just a matter of hearing a tape or a preacher and your love and trust what they say it means the word is easier to know. i stopped doing that. it wasnt my word . and many of this is to say GODS word says... hello go down the street a few more miles and that one says Gods words says something eles. same words being used different ideas of what it means in application. I do not believe the competitiion comes down to tit and tat on who is right or wrong or more knowledgable about bible verses. the competition comes down to life and death or even right or wrong choices. Those ideas come from the heart of any man. and only God truly knows that heart within.

I truly love people and I truly love God. I believe I will never know either one . people have the ability to show others who they are only in parts. we all use words to describe our experience in life our felings the happenings etc. and words fail to tell the whole story because no one has the whole story, we filter and process and educate and do all types of things in our brain to think the way each person does. those who claim to minister and those who seek to be ministered each come in the equation with "stuff" and it is not always the truth in fact seldom the whole truth and nothing but. and you end up with various thoughts feelings and actions in a matter. so to minister is for me the ability to listen and pray and love. those who feel empahty for another do well, but ya know if a person is really hurting from the fact the cat was put down and you inside never really liked cats the empathy is limited. that is a simple example it goes much deeper even to the shape of the person face reminds you of a distant aunt who used to give you socks for christmas. so we really do not do well as heros of the soul as much as many feel they can compete with what God and Jesus Christ ACCOMPLISHED it is often just a matter of hearing another story and feeling with them about it. what is the difference between "ministering to someone" and" loving someone" ?

lol "shut up" might be a negative . he has rules for his threads . what happens if we disobey?

so is doctrine for our learning? i think you complicate everything. really alot to say to Jesus one day when you let HIM know how you can pick and chose what He did and said as right or wrong for your life. Glad your not the one who had to save mankind I tell ya!

johnny how do ya find the pictures? the link just takes ya to my space it is NOT putting in the number that is joe somone and he just wants to well boobs galore omg.. anyway what do i do?

how many people became so disgusted with their infighting they no longer give them money? hmm? MONEY oh yeah they might have to break out of another need (cant do THAT) so it is not so important to have a servant leader thing. must have priorities ya know. call them im really sure they will say well a few hundred left with mark and we have a certain life style to maintain ya know, and um yeah we do not want to take a chance it take more time and money than we are willing to share. no i wont call them . I know what I know to haha

I will give you an example in my life. I have a dear friend who has talked me through all my teen years of anger and betrayal and empty nest!! she was here for me when i had the surgery well she telephoned. she has a fantastic ministry for single folks and arranging social happenings for everyone she is a real blessing! but she has one thing about her I do not like and I think is wrong. she is very very lazy and cheap. strong words. again I do not judge her it is just how she is. she will have you pay for EVERYTHING use your car and never would EVER give up a dime to help anyone. if you ride to a common place with her she will ask for ten dollars for gas. she is poor as I am BUT it doesnt go both ways with her. if she has a coupon for buy one get one free she pays only the cost of the sandwhich or whatever you pay the tax the tip everything....... eles. and she plays dumb about it all. she buys a inspection ticket for her car and drives a dangerous vechicle, because she is cheap. she will use anyone for anything as long as you let her so I know this about her and at the beginning of whatever we are doing I set up what i will and will not do. YES we are friends she has some problems i must deal with and so I do. now ask her how disgusting and sinful it is that I smoke cigs. she HATES cigs and smoke yet she endures me and my problem . see to me this is what realtionship is all about friendships take work and always compromise and communication.