jardinero

Wow, great report, Ev. Thanks for taking the time to post that. Good for Christine. I had wondered how she was doing. I think when people go through such tradgedy in their lives, particularly when they seemingly have lost "everything" (by way of possessions), love and friendships have a way of becoming the prized treasures of their lives. Here's to resiliency! J.

Never learned to cook with recipes. My "abuelas" (grandmothers) cooked by hand (make your hand into the measuring cup for teaspoon, tablespoon, or even pinches of spices) - - and by taste (my favorite method). Like you, Psalmie, I cook with what I have on hand (and I always have a well-stocked kitchen) and if someone wants my recipe, I'm happy to SHOW them how to make it, but don't ever have a recipe to hand them. Now with baking, I do have my very favorite "old hippie" baking cookbook "Tassajara Bread Book" - -which has some of the best recipes for breads and desserts - - which I follow for the basic item, then add to it whatever moves me at the moment. J.

Oh Great Aar ~ Call me bland, counterculture, "new age" (yuck) cuisinoephile - - but THIS S.F. Bay Area chick has been using Spike for nearly 30 years. I even travel with it, I love it so much. Not as a salt substitute, but as an all round spice that goes great on most foods. People who aren't used to it, notice it right away in dishes I make where that may be the only spice I use - - and LOVE IT. But I'm with you on the Asian spices in certain dishes. I'm absolutely AMAZED how the fat Midwesterners can consume so much darn food to break obesity records on the blandest food known to man that they consume!!!! But don't get me started on THAT rant! So, Batcave (nice name - WWJLA!) I'm with you girl. Spike - - the all-purpose spice I can't live without. Now, I do have to add along with everyone else here - - GARLIC!!!!! (and extra virgin) olive oil. CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THAT EITHER. J.

Keep scrolling down, Dooj....it's right below "GreaseSpot Gallery and Reading Room".... Time to check the eyes J.

Pretty sure they are in the Tampa-St. Pete area now (that was a year or so ago). J.

Happy Birthday, Mrs. !

Polar Bear ~ I rejoice with you! Great news. J.

Had to sneak over here to wish my dear baseball nut friend a happy f.......ffff......fffff - - (oh I can't say it! ) birthday, where it wouldn't draw so much attention. Wish I had something witty to say to make you smile, but I'm sure you are surrounded by loved ones who are reminding you you are now starting your 2nd half of your first century - - so I'll just leave it at that. (((((Simon))))) Happy day, my friend! J.

Well, nice to see another gathering of greasespotters - - and everyone having such fun - - but particularly my dear T-Bone and Tonto!!! So good to see your lovely faces again!!!! (and my the dear snocone man, tambien!). J.

O.K. You guys know I don't recommend too many movies. The last movie I thought was worth recommending was "Crash". My son wanted to go see The Prestige this past weekend. I'd not heard anything about it, but it had a decent cast: Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine (and even David Bowie). This is the one about the two magicians in 20th Century London. Gotta say that it drew me in right from the opening and gripped me thru the entire movie. I can't remember a part where it dragged and it's a good length. Go see it and tell me what you think. I was surprised how good it was. Very highly recommended by me. J.

Happy Birthday! We all love your whipper snapper sense of humor (and even your more serious, thoughtful side)! But in person you are truly the Belle of the Ball!!!!! Love you, you sweet southern thang! J.

My geek friend's house lit up at Christmas! J.

Socks said "proliferating" :P tee hee :D J.

I guess I have to agree a little with both of you. I hear ya, Bow in not wanting to give up on people. I just also know that some people have intervened and get sucked into perpetual drama, roller coasters and sometimes even violence trying to help people who are suicidal. That's the case with my neice who is now 39. She ran away from home and began drinking and doing drugs at age 15. At 17, she decided to join the Navy, where the drugs cleaned up, but the drinking got worse. She got married and divorced within a year. Then married again, pregnant, he left her, she aborted the baby and that began an entirely new chapter in her life. She then announced she had always been gay and began trolling the gay bars, picking up and getting picked up. Within 2 years you wouldn't have recognized her as she transformed from the trim, athletic, feminine woman to an overweight, "butch" (for lack of a more descriptive word that communicates) hair, dress, mannerisms. Men's boxers, pants, shirts, hair and whenever she came around, it was with a different "flavor" of the day girl. This went on for about 5 years. During that time, the drinking, bar fights, physical abuse with other lesbians and Navy co-workers, blacking out while intoxicated and driving causing many accidents and nearly killing herself too many times to count. She was discharged from the Navy and thus began the very deliberate suicide attempts. When my sister (the one I speak of above who was the counselor) tried to intervene, she was met with physical violence, her daughter throwing things, causing loud, violent scenes in public, at most family gatherings, etc. That roller coaster ride went on for about 12 years until my sister's death, but over those years spent thousands of dollars trying to help, get her help or repay property damage, etc. Almost all of us have had her move in with or near us to attempt to help. My sister had provided access to counseling referrals, medical exams. She had been diagnosed bipolar and then the attempt to get her on the right meds for 3-4 years caused more episodes, each more dramatic and scarey than the previous. While we all want to "not give up on her", Bow - - family members, friends, previous lovers/partners and coworkers of hers have various degrees of tolerance, experience and "bandwidth" (so to speak) to be able to take her on. Some, like her own sister, have had to set some clear boundaries because of her violent tendancies. Others get tapped continuously to supply money and support until they are drained. 20 years of this and just this year an unlikely source felt like she had finally hit rock bottom with the end of another relationship, no job, no place to live again and offered her a deal. He'd pay for her to go through a Christian substance abuse program that's tied into some very thorough medical examinations, family physical and mental history tracking, plus counseling. Much to our surprise, she bit. The doctor who treated her found she was mis-diagnosed as bipolar and a correct diagnosis for PTSD (from being molested as a child) was made, is being treated and she has been able to enter into a medical asst. program, obtain a job at a hospital where she's already gotten a promotion in 6 mos. helping to develop a better program for dealing with mentally ill patients, for which she provides unique insight. Not sure if this is temporary for her. I want to hope it's not, but my point is that she had so alientated almost everyone close to her, or scared the .... out of them with her violent outbursts, that it took someone who had never had to deal with her before to connect somehow with her. Of course, it very well could have turned out the opposite way. What's my point? Well, none of us had given up on her. We had all tried to help over the many years. We pray for her and invite her to family functions with the stipulation she doesn't get violent. We just had ceased being successful at reaching her or (for various reasons) chose to keep some healthy boundaries and not be around her - - which I think is what Pond is saying. Sometimes certain people are too destructive to be around (particularly when kids or family dysfunction dynamics are involved). I'm thrilled though, that whether this improvement in her life is short or long term, that at least she's enjoying some improvement to her life. J.

Yeah, I wondered the same thing, Belle. Anyone?

Very good point, Rascal. I'm hardly an expert in this field, but my sister (when she was alive) was a family counselor who was certified in the State of California in suicide intervention. She would spend a great deal of time as a trainer of other counselors and agencies and was known as a "specialist" in suicide intervention. As her manner was, especially due to some of our own family history, she would frequently share lessons learned in her field with our family members. Here's a couple that stuck with me: 1. Whenever someone is extra forelorn, depressed or specifically speaks of suicide, the first thing she taught people to do is to be direct (as Rascal and others have learned the hard way) and ask these types of direct questions, "Are you planning on hurting yourself? (If yes) What have you thought about doing? (hoping to probe into whether they have a gun, a razor, medication, jumping, etc.) (If one of these have been planned, she would ask for the evidence) Would you show me the gun, razor, meds, etc., ? (and would attempt to take it and provide some other intervention). She would ask if she could see them, call them, have a family member or friend see them or call them and keep them talking about whatever was bothering them (again active intervention). She would always ask permission if she could call someone right then and there with them present (family, friend, doctor, counselor, sponsor, etc.). There's a lot more to all of that - -but the point being that the directness causes them to talk and helps them to sometimes begin the process of sorting, seeking help, receiving help; or provide them with a point of connection at that moment with another human being. 2. Remembering that holidays and other "anniversary" dates (anniversary of a mate's death, lost love's birthday, child or parent's birthday) are sometimes particular "trigger" dates. Again, being direct with them: why is Thanksgiving particularly hard for you (because I'm not near any of my family, or estranged from them, or they are all psycho - - some reason stated)? Or, what is special about this day that is causing you to think this way (to explore the significance in THEIR mind of that date), etc. I'm not suggesting any of us non-professional people try to jump in (a la twi days) in areas requiring professional counseling or medical advice, but because of what my sister shared, I WAS able to help a particular person when an out-of-town friend acted on information shared by this man that he was considering ending it all. That friend (who was across the country) called me, alerted me to the situation and asked me if I would be willing to contact their friend (who I knew). I took the direct approach my sister had shared and DID discover an overdose level of medication mixed with booze being discussed - - anything to numb the overwhelming pain he was feeling. I was able to help him walk through the process of going to the doctor, finding a counselor who he allowed me to pre-brief (so I could share my outside perspective of what was going on). The doctor found some physical things that could be changed and corrected, also was able to prescribe an anti-depressant which in a very short time was instrumental in helping give him enought of a lift so the counseling could take some effect, etc. Suicide is very sad (I have family member experience too) and very devastating to those left behind, but I'd rather risk being told to keep my nose out of someone's business, than to not at least to try to help. I'm not suggesting that people always "see it coming" or that there is always even the opportunity to help, or that people haven't tried to help only to have the person commit suicide anyway - - I just share the above for what it's worth in case it helps any one who finds an open door to help. J.

Grand Daughter is without Internet access at her house now, but popped into chat last night while she was at her sister's to say hi and give us an update. She and Baby Benjamin are doing very well. She had a pretty easy delivery and Benjamin is on a good sleep schedule. He's the center of the universe and receiving lots of affection from Grand Daughter's already large brood (rivaling our own Rascal!!!! lol). Anyway, she aked me to say hi to everyone and thank you for all the well wishes and prayers. As soon as she gets Internet access again, we'll see her around more. J.

Awwwwwwwww, what sweet pics, grand-daughter!!!! Congratulations to you and your entire family. Nice to see you back here. Hope you and baby Benjamin are doing well! Love, J.

Happy birthday to the woman with the congatious smile and laugh (we can hear your laughter in your posts!). May it be a happy, happy year all the way through! J.

Happy Birthday, Chas! Hope you are treated like a queen by those men in your life! Have fun celebrating! J.

Linda Z ~ Sorry, didn't see your post right before mine. As far as I know, Linda - - only Johnny T. is licensed in Ohio. There are some ex-twi folks who applied for and did not receive licenses (WL among them), but JT goes around and runs classes for anyone who wants one, even though those ex-twi leaders and JT don't see eye to eye nor are necessarily "affiliated" with each other in any way. It's pretty weird, but how it works there. J.

Socks - - I love you - - you happy, funny man! :) J.

Hi Soggie ~ Some good thoughts here on this thread for you to consider. One I'd like to throw in is for you to get a thorough physical (if you haven't had one in a while). I'm guessing from your posts you're hitting mid-life and women's bodies change in a number of ways that effect their mental states when they are perimenopausal or going through menopause. That's the first thing. There are physical things you can do that can help you if any of the symptoms you are experiencing are age appropriate for a woman. That's number one. Number two, though, is you sound from some of your posts and things you've said in chat that your heart has been wounded - - and that's a pain that is very tough to deal with - - particularly when you don't have a circle of support or a close friend to help pick you up. Unless you've gone through those kind of sad times or suffered from the dark side of depression (I don't mean just "felt" depressed - - I mean ARE depressed as in the illness depression), it's so very hard to put into words the emptiness and sadness that accompanies it. It feels like a black, empty hole that you just can't seem to climb out of no matter how hard you try. And it's exhausing. I went through a divorce 7 years ago after 23 years of marriage - - and about the same time we cut loose from being stifled in ex-twi offshoots (and experiencing hurt after hurt and disappointment after disappointment with those folks). Then a couple of years later, my oldest sister - -who was also my dearest, closest friend - -suffered a long fight with cancer and eventually died. I felt so alone and empty and felt like I had no one to turn to. I had major financial burdens left me by my ex. The week before my sis finally died, I was wrongfully dismissed from a job and had to seek a lawyer (I won, but it was not pretty - - and also with some ex-twi folks; but that's another delightful story). Then after throwing my hat in the dating ring after being single for some years, I got serious with a guy who got cold feet the week after my sis died and broke things off. Man, I was ready to just pull the covers over my head and just never get up again. Finally, an acquaintance - - whom I had just met a few mos. before - - called me up and said "hey - -my husband is out of town, why don't you come over?" Well, I really didn't want to go over, but did and during our conversation, I blurted all of the above out and she walked over to her phone, picked it up and immediately made an appt. for me with her doctor for the next day (they were also friends, so she had a little clout). This gal had previously gone through a very tough divorce that left her nearly totally debilitated (and was a top manager with VISA corp., so no slouch) and recognized depression when she saw it. I was so distraught, I did go to the appointment and sat in the office and boo hoo'd through my story. The doctor immediately talked to me about going on an anti-depressant for a short time and a few weeks of a sleep medication. Now, I'm Miss "no meds, no doctors, only natural stuff" - - and had never taken any kind of meds before (not with childbirth, not even an antibiotic for my entire life). But the sleeping meds for 2 weeks allowed me to get some much needed rest. The anti-depressant kicked in and I immediately was able to start functioning normally again. Once I was out of the darkest part of that time, I was able to start the beginning of some new thoughts and dreams once again and started making some decisions about what I wanted to see the rest of my life look like. It's not been a walk in the park, but after those first few mos, every month has gotten better. Things started to turn around again, and when I got better, I found that it was easier to make some new friends in the new city I was living in (volunteering, work, in the park walking the dog, etc.). Please go see your doctor, Soggie, if you've not done that and at least have a discussion about depression or visit this site: Understanding Depression There are some very good, non-narcotic meds available these days that can help your body produce the seratonin it needs, or whatever else might be deficient. You may or may not be suffering from it; or it could be a combination of some very treatable physical things, that once treated, will make you feel better enough to look each day in the eye again and take it on. Please do know you are not alone. Even though many of us are just cyber names, I think you know from chat that there's some very wise, caring people around here who will help pick you up on the days you just need to connect with someone - - even in cyberspace - - while you get things turned around a little. And do remember how much God loves you uniquely and individually. If you don't journal, starting to write some of this down and then seeing your blessings small and large over a period of time, may continue to give you more hope of much better, happier times around the corner. Hang in there. You are not alone. J.

Yeah, you were snoozin, Linda. There was a whole "Harve's been demoted" thread a while back when new assignments came out. Maybe Belle or someone can link the thread. He's doing some local area now. Hopefully he's seen the handwriting on the wall and it going to get a "real job". J.

Well, last I heard there was a slew of people (close to 200) involved with Tom Burke, Ken McCaw, Ken's brother, a few musicians (Leon Hansen, etc.) in and around Columbus. Cleveland has Walt Luke and not sure how many folks are up there any more but there was a group there not too long ago. J.