jardinero

Slaves? We get slaves??? (and I've been advertising for a Cabana boy all this time!) J.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Excie, you're too much! J.

Great question, Tonto. I'm sure I did it - - just don't remember quite when it all happened. I'm normally so argumentative, a little jaded, and HATE male-ordered, top-down organizations - - I always kept a little fight in me about the "good ol' boy" group twi had goin' and gave a lot of them fits most of the time. But, $*@!, we had a hard time leaving the Waybrain behind once we left. So.........I'm really trying to figure out now, when did I turn my brain back on???? (at least I THINK I'm back in control of it most days) J. P.S. Hi Tonto and Mr. Tonto

Oh buh-rother, Hap! I was trying to entice him back and you just scared the be-jeezus out of him. No one has computer problems like you, darlin! Andy, come back. It's simple. Don't let Hap coach you in chat (;) J.

Hi Andy Yes, we were wondering - - so suck it up like and ex-wayfer and come back in! LOL Just kidding. Hey, I prefer the other chat too, but we users have 90% figured out how to make it work, so if you come back for a quick visit, we'll tell you how to turn off all the stuff that's aggravating, turn the background to bland and still be able to read the chat text. Or, you could come in to FlashChat and say you're going back to live chat and those of us who only gripe bout it behind Paw's back, will cover over and chat with you. Simple. J.

Well, Doveman ~ LOL on your gun comment I didn't mean to be so depressing. There really IS an upside to the story (which I was going to come back and write after a break). Although divorce is hard, I think it's a lot harder to be in the wrong marriage/relationship. A part of me was slowly dying. Now that I'm on with my life, I'm finally back to that full of life, vivacious woman I once felt like I was. So that's not a bad thing, IMHO. He finally did take school seriously after the divorce and actually graduated, got his teaching credential and is actually receiving a paycheck now as a middle school teacher - - so people CAN get their lives back on track in their 50s. sigh We now have a very loving, supportive relationship (3000 miles away) and jointly support and love and nurture our sons (though I have custody of the younger one still at home). We talk regularly and even swap dating and relationship stories. He was there for me when my sister died and was a huge support. I've been supportive to him in his endeavors. We are both very happy in our lives and do not regret our time together - - just that it took so long to get to this point. Our sons have adjusted well and I'm nearly sane (little joke there). And, although I don't really want to be single the rest of my life, I'm quite content in my little home, in my little world, with my son and dog :) J.

Well, I didn't think I was going to jump in here, but George's hurt, despair, sadness, etc. got to me so I've got a little to ramble on about. I've not shared this with too many people, so bare with me as I try to get it out. I was married for 23 years. We met my first year in college, dated a bit, I got in twi that year, went WOW the next - - he got in that year I was gone. I came back to school, he wanted to get married, I did not, we tried it as friends. We were sexually active during this time - - I was on the pill (irregular cycles that others shared about above - - yada, yada, yada) - - I got pregnant - - I didn't want to be pregnant or with him the rest of my life, but there it was. Well, after a lot of pressure from his parents and my sister, and WayBrain thoughts of "any two believers can make it work" , we got married, had our wonderful son who is now 29 and made a go of it. Sooooo, for the next 23 years, I worked, he went to school - - on and off for 18 years. Start. Stop. Start. Drop out. Start. Fail. Worked window cleaning :blink: :( and made no money - - so my salary over the years supported us. However, looking back, it is clear our marriage and child derailed his life and although we were loving with each other (including a great sex life) and didn't often fight, I don't think our lives were anything that either of us really wanted them to be and over the years the lack of financial support from him of our family weared on me. And yeah, we were twig coordinators all that time, did the Family Corps at some point, but were not twi freaks or nazis. So long story short, he's one of those people who should NEVER be self employed - - kept &$*#ty records, unorganized, didn't pay taxes, was in the red. Over the years, the debt of unpaid taxes, etc. , school debt, not enough in my salary to support us and our children's need (we had another one eventually, 14 years later), the debt increased and my salary - - though I started eventually to make decent money in my marketing career, wasn't enough to keep up. I begged him to get a job. Our high school son one summer worked at Taco Bell for 2 mos and made more money than hubby for the year. What's wrong with that picture, honey? How about getting a real job with a paycheck? Wouldn't do it. This went on year after year. We didn't fight about money, but every first quarter when it was time to pay taxes, he was more in debt and "we" became more in debt. I begged him to talk to the other successful window cleaning twi guys near us (who he knew and was close friends with). No deal. I asked him to go to counseling. No deal. Every April, I felt like I could just hit "play" on the tape recorder and the very same conversation and words would come out. Sigh. Once I turned 40 I started to think that this was not how I wanted the rest of my life to look. No other man. No career ladder to climb, but the simple needs (dentist, doctor, an occasional vacation) of our family continued to go unmet, until I finally had to make a decision to take care of my family or eventually get into a situation where I was forced into bankruptcy. Over the years, particularly the last 10, I brought this topic up a few times a year. Then, I would say the last 5, the dishonesty of how he was conducting his business and the burden it put on me really took its toll in our intimacy. It wasn't that I wasn't horny (yes, I use that term) (and yes I frequently am), it was just that the intimacy erroded with our marriage impasse, until I finally drew the line in the sand and said, either you attend this counseling session with me, it's over. He didn't attend. I filed. I left with our youngest son and $22,000 of his (our) debt. Now, why did I share all of that? Because he honestly was shocked that there was a problem. He was shocked I wanted a divorce. But even after we talked when I said I was going to file and would have loved to see us work it out, he still would not go to counseling to work it out. I gave it one more year. And you know what he did? Not go out and get a job, but went back to school. His family thinks to this day that I just was aggressively "career minded" (Sure! in a middle management job) or that there was another man - - it couldn't have possibly been him! I didn't move up the career ladder until after our divorce, btw - - and 7 years later, I'm still single (and horny; lol) So George, you know what I really would have loved to have happened? I would have loved for him to rise up in character and fight for his family, at the very minimum. We had a college aged son at home and an 8 year old. The real dream would have been to see him, in his professed love for me, fight for the love he said he had. Didn't happen. No "please don't go". No "I'm sorry." No "let's try counseling." Not even a "let's try to stay together for the kids." But it takes two to try to fight for it - - and one to at least try to pursue the other - - which I believe I tried to do in earnest for the last 10 years of our marriage. So, I feel your pain. I feel your overwhelming sadness. I feel your lost dreams. I feel your weeping at night when no one else can see and you fall asleep on a wet pillow. I felt bitter at times, too. I was angry to the point of being a little "down on men" for a while. Divorce is awful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But how you feel now will change in a year or two. You'll get through it, as many of us who post here and have been divorced, have. You'll heal. You'll enjoy things again. You'll find yourself as an individual again, not part of a married couple. You'll smile. You'll have fun. And, you'll maybe even venture out to meet new people - - maybe even of the opposite sex! You might even date again (shudder! but that's another thread for sure!) - - AND have sex - - and get a little bumped and bruised in the process of all that - - and live through it. There really IS light and life at the end of the tunnel. Please hang in there. It really is a grieving process and it really, really, really does get better. 7 years later, I think I might even consider a serious relationship and/or marriage again. I sure didn't think that the first or second year. Fondly, J.

Hi Evan, Hey, the verses are great, but this says it all: She sounds like such a wonderful girl and what a sweet father you are! Yes, please let us know how it goes tomorrow. J.

LOL - - I was thinking the very same thing, Galen! LOL J.

From Evan: Very wonderful advice... J.

Moony said: EXACTLY, my dear Moony. I like my coffee like my men - - tall, dark and very, very strong. J.

NO FREAKIN WAY! I'm in shock! O.K. I'm sooooooooooo happy for you! Gosh, first he figures out how to be a great parent, now he'll have to send away for a course on being a good husband too ;) Love to both of you - - - VERY glad to celebrate this day with you. See ya in chat tonight! What? you need a honeymoon or somethin? Smooches! J.

Go BLUE ! Signed, Indy Girl :)

Hi Vick J. :ph34r:

Good luck with the new semester, Catcup (and everything else going on in your life at the moment). We'll miss you, but when you need a break come in and chat with us so we can put a smile on your face! J.

Hey Goey ~ Happy birthday! Hope you're well. We haven't seen you for a while in chat! Come in and say hi sometime! J.

Hi Catcup. Live Chat is the link that's available at the top when you're not logged in. It's the older chat room (which many of us prefer with the white background and choice of text color and sounds). Once you login to GSC, you will see the option at the top for FlashChat which is the new chatroom (which is giving some of us fits) :) Hope to see you in the chat soon! Hap: I'll try the right clicking and see if that helps me. I type fast and am having a problem with the chat text dropping words and entire lines when I type. J.

I met Milford and Betty initially in 1974. What a sweet and loving couple they were. They didn't now me from Adam, but treated me and paid attention to me like I was the only person around. What a very sweet announcement about Milford. Some of you who knew the Bowen's better will have to help me fill in here. For those of you who don't know them, they had been on staff at twi HQ for years - - Milford having a background in printing - - and did some of the early printing of books and collateral pieces for twi in the very early years. I never did hear how they ever got witnessed to or if one of the kids did first. Someone help me with the daughters names (I don't know of any sons????) - - but Ruthie Bowen G*arini, Nancy Bowen Burt*on - - and one more daughter who I can't remember - - R*bin Adelm*n????? God bless Milford and may Betty continue in their ministry reaching so many people with God's love. My prayers and love to the family. J.

Hi Rascal You have to be logged in then you will see the FlashChat option at the top of the page. I did the same thing earlier. Tried to get into chat w/o being logged in and the Live Chat took me to the old chat room (which I wish we would use instead of the new one). J.

Hey Alfie - - Speaking of Kraaaaaaaaaaaap, I was thinking about you when I was reading the "Suicide in The Way" thread below. Didn't you know something about Sunny leaving the Corps and the incidents that surrounded it? Seems to me you may have posted about this before (or maybe it was another one of the sickth). J.

OMG, I can't stop laughing. breathe, breathe - - "I am the light advisor in the home".... Too funny, Two Ts! J.

"Jardinero" means gardener in Spanish - - and although I am really a "jardinerA" (female) - - that name was taken somewhere where I was registering way back. So Jardinero -- because I enjoy gardening (and Paw has allowed me to be the Greasespot Gardener) and my name is in Spanish because of my own family heritage. Doveman - - O.K., I'm in.......how about "Dovinero"????? J. Oh yeah - - for you folks who don't know how to pronounce it (and lest I should use the "G" word and start a controversy again, my dear hermanito, Oaksie) - - my name is pronounced: Har - - din - - ARROW (emphasis on the ero part) J.

Feliz Cumpleaños, Tom! Hope it's a wonderful day of food, fun and a few cervezas thrown in for good measure! J.

Wow, Paw. In those early days, I wasn't evey aware of the Internet, but was hearing a lot of this stuff third hand from the networking that we had going, "live" from people who we kept in contact with scattered all over the country over the years. Now some of them are here as posters (Alfakat, Radar, NoLongerLurking (or working, for that matter), Suz, etc.) and we've reconnected, but I love hearing how this place came to be. Keep it coming, darlin! Great stories! J.

Happy Birthday, Chuckes dear! May your next 50 be as wonderful as the first! J.