Ham

I can't see how the lowlife can have a "following".. riding on da dirt-trails of da founder.. it's a cosmic "cheat".. in the big scheme of everything and all.. so how does one get a living.. it's the cost of health care that gets me here.. who pays.. and WHY? hey.. myself. It's not a "biggie".. just.. when the end comes. Put me in a chair in the woods somewhere.. if there are any left.. the whole problem here.. *mr* geer.. we didn't have an agreement.. I mean.. show my signature and all.. no, no agreement.. even pre-life..

but back to the "you die.. when you stop believing.." isn't the claim.. if you stop believing, you die? that would mathematically speaking, be equivalent to.. "you will not die, if you do not stop believing.." It's the contra positive to the original claim.. the problem is.. they didn't define "believing".. "believing".. what? or is it just raw "believing".. or is it.. what? if it's "raw believing".. what da hell is that?

in other words.. correct me if I'm wrong. "any port in the storm".. I dunno.. if we were born in India.. or some place else.. would we have hung out a shingle for Shiva.. my dad.. seemed to go through this process of self- and everything realization with sadness.. at least as I remember.. I'll say more, as appropriate..

sometimes.. "I'm not special" is a disguise one puts on to prevent being beat up in junior high school.. the sad thing is everyone is special..

I wonder how many more pale blue dots there are in the cosmos.. this one seems to be my favorite. At least at the moment.. and the last couple of trips through, besides.. if one believes "all that".. hey.. belief is subjective, for the most part.. next time (if there is one) I'll go to grad school at least fifteen or twenty years earlier, in birth years, anyway.. the most ideal circumstance would simply be to remember everything I've worked on this time around..

along with having only an illusion of *many* days past.. I know, rosie tried fitting in the stool.. I mean.. she might look the part (of a well seasoned sailor).. but who's kidding who?

unless one is bigger than gawd, yet still small enough to fly below government radar.. Almost sounds like running a small business in New Jersey..

I dunno.. it's like high school.. maybe. I can't go back to high school for a few non-ethereal reasons. One is, they tore it down about twenty years ago.. it's a funny feeling though..

I planned on listening to white album tonight.. don't know what happened.. heh.. it's every bit as good.. same song, different key..

and it does.. how many (millions of) circles have we gone around.. and the "dead end".. "I me, me mine..." "I me, me mine..".. I'll spare you the repetition.. but even that ends.. at the moment.. I'd like some thing or entity to stand in front of me and speak some words of wisdom.. heh.. the last dream I had.. maybe I should not say..

I hope you can see something that outlives you.. there has to be something.. if not.. if you live in Tucson Arizona.. buy some California Grass.. "go home".. heh Sweet Loretta had a few *issues*.. heh heh.. "and thanks in behalf of the group, and I hope we passed the audition"..

Cheated? No.. myself.. feelings of regrets and all.. there are a few what's the word.. I can't say "results".. there are two children, I would not trade for fame or fortune.. one grandchild.. one yet to come.. have to listen to the album Paw hates.. "Let it Be"..

I dunno.. maybe I took too much acid many years ago.. it all makes sense, but it doesn't.. I can live with that..

don't get me wrong. I'm not (have been or will yet be) complaining, or anything.. yep.. "believers" were supposed to be da best and all..

Yeah.. everything there is.. what's the word.. perfect. the sun arises every morning.. and there is no rain there, until after sunset.. yep..

Perhaps.. well.. myself. I prefer a more "psychedelically" charged definition.. heh the whole problem with this.. one will eventually return to the home from which one came.. well, depending on whatever religion you embrace at the time.. do you really want to return to a state of perfection.. I mean, there has to be some reason (though masked in your consciousness) why one wanted to abandon it (or take a vacation from it) to begin with.. just a thought.. :)

why does it have to be sad? well.. the last line anyway.. the future always beckons.. all that is present is entropy..

God bless you sir..

"Vagabond lifestyle".. I dunno. It is reserved for the "deeply spiritual".. the same thought troubles me even after close to twenty years after no involvement in da way.. I still don't feel at home in the community in which I live.. why is it.. because they cannot fulfill what a corrupt organization itself could not provide? just a thought.. so where is "home".. maybe.. we (*I*) can't go home..

sooo.. is just one post we get from the Kenster? not much dialogue, if you ask me.. and we were fairly polite to begin with..

I think that's it.. they can plug these things into a network.. I wonder if there is a gps hidden somewhere in the thing..

They put these things on sale for $125.00. Figured at that price it would be nuts not to pick one up and see what the students are now starting to use.. I don't know if I am exactly impressed with it yet. an alpha-numerical keyboard.. for what? I suppose one could type up a word document in text form, with a non-standard keyboard.. export it to a computer through a usb port with the included calculator software. The keyboard isn't the standard one like the one I'm using with the computer.. all of the letters of the alphabet are ordered sequentially a to z.. but an instructor can add a wireless adapter to it.. and can review what a student entered on it, keystroke by keystroke.. the display is a lot nicer for graphing than the predecessors.. and for the "effort" of registering, they will send me a plug in keyboard that.. will replace the fancy keyboard.. and it will function as the *ordinary* Texas instruments TI 84 plus graphing calculator.. guess what's going on it when the *new* keyboard arrives.. probably will stay there, for now..

no, I won't reply.. nooooo.. well.. the loyster is getting "up there" in years.. shrinking kingdom.. smaller every year.. less latex to fill... sowy.. I refuse to say more..

She called them "pathetic".. kinda like Steve.. what's his name.. with Aerosmith.. had to cancel the concert because of some kind of fall and hip injury.. I *almost* made it to that concert in florida..

hmm.. work. can be inevitable.. fixing stuff on a Saturday night!???? Better be good pay.. well.. I understand. *we* can make allowances..