Ham

he gets no argument from me. He does whatever he wants to.. lately the "whatever" has been a little vague..

sorry, it wasn't my last topic here I guess.. over the last twenty, thirty, forty years.. what would you have done differently? there are some things set in stone that I would not have the cleverness, nor even the inclination to undo even if I could. One can't exactly undo ones's offspring.. nor should one even want to.. but what would you have done differently? Maybe this is da final report, sent to Squirrels in da far, far distant future..

I'm still looking for the same *spot* we can all take off our skins and all be the same..

does believing effect reality.. shouldn't get me started.. yes it does. But one's almighty perspective has to pass many, many committees.. there are quite a few of us, you know.. one has to ask politely. Very, very politely.. sometimes its better just not to ask..

what I find intriguing.. we got to study Hitler, Stalin, Milosevic, Pol Pot.. all rolled up in one, in a very very small microcosm.. maybe that was the point this time around.. the Squirrels report, has been formulated, and sent..

yeah.. somebody wanted *ME* once. I hope I didn't disappoint them. that is, too much..

it depends on the one praying I think.. you get up to that point.. and you ask the question.. do I REALLY want a world fashioned after *ME*.. no thanks.. one of me is more than enough..

very good observation, friend.. I dunno. It's not just *them*.. its us as well.. they haven't approached me with secret ceremonies and such at the university here.. but there are some who won't admit they are in the Doctorate program.. they keep it a secret..

You own.. everything you want in your kingdom.. what da frigging iduits didn't figure.. what it is you want, owns you just as much..

No, you can't just give it away.. as much as I'd like to.. yeah.. it depends on far more than me.. everything does.. maybe that is the lesson this time around.. there is nothing more than I would want.. than for every human soul that graces my presence.. to be a *success*. Whatever that is.. there is so much sadness here.. my own self fits the same description, of others.. but.. this is so damed funny.. they know it is hard, but they want me to have the masters degree in math.. why is it? maybe I still have something to give.. I dunno.. or I hope so..

something like that.. actually.. every student who has ever asked me.. I've shown them line by line.. there have only been about four or five of them.. some really wanted to know.. some of them.. they wanted the grade, even if they skipped the Friday lesson.. and I don't have the power of da Almighty, just to give it away..

he can see demons and witchcraft everywhere.. doesn't that say everything? to see it is one thing.. to actually DO something about it.. I won't say any more..

there is no "what" here. It is, what it is..

if I could only afford your space to rent.. "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.."

God bless you friend Socks.. is that supposed to be a compliment?

my cat herds me. No kidding.. I wake up at about seven in the morning.. the cat is staring at me. "Meoooower." so it is time to get up, go to the bathroom.. "purrr, purrr." so we take the shower, do only other god only knows (decently) in the bathroom.. the cat is the administrator of the house. goes into a frenzy, when mail, or a package is delivered at the back door..

I mean.. I've been thinking how all of this explains Hitler, Pol Pot.. perhaps they started with good intentions.. but they didn't learn the lesson.. small, is not good.. it's just better..

actually.. I think the exercise of power itself corrupts. one of my insane "gurus" said something like that.. "we are not CLEAN enough to exercise that kind of power.." so what does one do.. one stands back, takes a few insults, smiles.. then there is the other end of the spectrum. "I refuse to be a doormat.." do you, really? so.. what does one do. do you exact vengeance? No.. the *rules* state vengeance is not yours.. so.. what do you do? Well.. if anyone offends me.. it is not MY problem. Perhaps in the sense of my perception it is.. but no, otherwise, it is not really my problem.. sorry if this is too much, or too much possessed Squirrel, or whatever..

at this point I don't know exactly what it is that I believe anymore.. does anybody remember? Da vicster said something once, publically. Something about life not really "working" without an adversary.. now whether he really believed that.. I dunno. Or if it was an allusion to the dog and pony show he put on, da manogawd against da evils of da world.. personally, I think we have played this game, one lifetime after another.. us vs. them, I vs. we, Spy vs. Spy.. one was dark, one was light.. I dunno. Why choose sides, when one can have everything.. to have everything, is to have nothing.. well.. that's ok with me. I don't need much.. Scary thoughts, for fundamentalist Christians I guess.. but isn't light and dark the same name for the same thing? Only woe unto him who offends.. the thought of Controlling the World still troubles me, but not as much as ten years past.. anymore I think.. I don't like everything the way it is.. but the consequences of ME controlling it, might be far worse..

You were "lucky" to have a friendship like that.

I saw that kind of light in someone once.. it was a "she". but what would you do if it was in the same sex? there is no logic here. It is far, far gone.. well.. you have the logical part of your psyche laughing its "rear" off at you.. usually its polite about it..

I dunno. So what would you personally do.. if you woke up one morning and found your soul mate was one of the same sex.. no, it hasn't happened to me. I think loy was on the mark in some ways.. it isn't about the SEX. or the act.. maybe for some it is or was..

I'm trying to figure out how I can still be a Squirrel over there..

naw. Why buy kommie mayonnaise.. when one can have.. the secrets of mayonnaise in a home made jar..

maybe you are supposed to spell compound with a "k".. sowie.. its not *a* compound.. it's THE kompound..