Ham

I don't know about you. But I am running on fumes here.. in more ways than one.. I've outlived my dad by close to ten years.. the Tallman family has rarely had a male living much past sixty.. there was one one early settlement that failed, because of this. It is much easier for the next generation to find sustenance elsewhere. My dad found it in the Army airforce in WW2.. so. as for me. The student loan people will come. They will have to descend into Hell to collect.. I'll just say, "take it out of my social security account".

well, yes. If he "threw out" all of his "secular" material.. how did the video of the women and dog end up as some kind of original "research material"? I mean.. throw out bible commentaries.. how did gross porn get the priviledge of being left behind? "kiddees. *we* are not here, to study da bible.. you can get that in any ordinary, bland, denomination.."

he was such a what.. tourist? maybe that's a better description than manogawd.. the very best rock and roll does not put this kind of s*it up front. It lays it between the lines.. listen to Clapton.. strange brew.. there is a lot more..

We already knew all, or most of the slang terms, didn't we? What "new light" was presented here? "hafta read it in da original, keeds.." was that it?

who is worthy.. it is not for me to decide. Even in regards to myself.. I kind of look at it like.. maybe I shouldn't say.. if there is no room for me.. well, they can go to hell. I hope this makes sense to somebody other than my delusional self here..

I'm still trying to figure out how an innocent shovel is being implicated in all of this.. yeh.. don't blame me.. it was da shovel..

under what other circumstances.. would a mid life male.. taking the hand of a practically teen aged female.. and placing it on his erection.. be acceptable? In CHURCH? *we* were SUPPOSED to be.. church. there were a few boundaries even in my most devoted way days that I would not cross.. crazy.. It's what.. scary thoughts. The church of the "liberated".. "Praise da lord, sister.." Those who I feel real compassion for.. is those who came across the path of *uncle* howard.. what a very, very small soul.. even the hippies had a few standards.. it doesn't feel good, don't do it..

I wonder what da "present truth" is now.. trickling down the long dead bark of da way tree.. right before my exit.. money was pretty much required. but they started looking at some kind of devilish "balance" between possible income by abundant sharing.. vs. the cost of damage control.. in other words, if you were sick as a dog. They didn't want your money.. it had to be *clean" what was the word.. mammon.. so.. anybody still in the organization that can "produce"? tons of money for the coffers, and excellent health, including perfect health, and a detailed dental history besides?

but not entirely. You can stay.. as long as the money holds out, AND you don't present the remote possibility of being a liability..

You can still get a case of it for $78.00 U.S. dollars.. http://figpep.com/

dagnabbit.. I put this on the other computer, and it was "loading" forever..

ha.. we are always on the bus.. once on, always on. Kind of like once saved..

I really don't know where this came from, but here it is.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfman_Jack

hey.. yes. If it is big, or enlarged, enough..

I'm just curious. Have you read this? Is there anything that speaks to you? I'll be polite, and let the voluntary participants offer what they think.. long before I attempt to ruin everything.. I was a "mini" hippie. I was born five years too late, or so. ma.. grabbed me by the ear.. "and where do you think YOU are going, young man" well.. all that really doesn't make any difference.

part B is even more interesting. What did *they* do with it? I have "The Book". A real paper copy. I have another one.. and it is in an appropriate, undisclosed, hidden but well read place.. it answers everything(?).. God Bless you, Mr. Wolfe.

maybe it's trivia time. What was the oldest living thing on Perry Lane?

It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out..

living.. is easy with eyes closed..

so what WAS.. or IS this "security"? was it an lsd or mescaline inspired vision? like cra*ley having a flashback during some long winded way fellowship or something? I'm really trying to figure this out. where did the "security" lead your master.. he ended up in middle age, tired, bitter, abandoned (at least in his view, if not in reality).. and dreadfully ill..

so where is the "safeness" here? you've FINALLY defined, or admitted that it was NOT a reasonable expectation for married, unmarried, accompanied or not, women, in the *presence* of da vicster.. so what WAS IT? What security? For whom? Why not for ALL under the umbrella of gawd's protection?

and to bring this back to subject here: a DEPRAVED FIEND can EASILY hide behind an illusion of righteousness.. religion seems to be the worst, or perhaps the easiest hiding place..

I STILL have problems.. I expect, and give twenty years worth of trust, at a moment's notice. of course I've gotten a h*ll of a lot better on the first half of the above statement. I can't demand ANYTHING.. of anybody.. but generally, I don't have healthy boundaries. But I seem to be getting a tad bit better.. but isn't that kind of pathetic? I'm what.. 54 years old.. and in a few ways I'm starting to figure it out.. some of the newer generation, will check your credit, your criminal record.. your academic history, your prostrate.. before they will give you a half an ounce of trust.. which is sad in a way. A depraved fiend can hide well behind an impeccable credit rating, criminal history, academic excellence..

me too..

yeah. but what if.. in one moment you found everything you thought you believed, was just wrong.. some might choose to jump in front of the train.. others might just choose to live.. I've asked a couple of posters here the what if question.. and most would choose the first option..