Cindy!

Happy Birthday, Psalmster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (You can throw that chili at me for bein late!!!) ...and many, many more happy birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!! chinny-chin-chin, hishighholinesssteve!, and gang!!!

Happiest of Birthdays, Kit!!!! Thanks for your thoughtfulness and many loving insights!!! chinny and gang

Looks like it will be the end of June...the 28th...(a Saturday)! We have a registry at Target...someone told me we should post that here...not sure why...but here goes... Go to www.target.com click on the red giftregistires link enter my name: Cindy Hinson the state: Illinois Event date: June you will then see a link with our names on it! Hope to see ya in June!!!!!

Happy birthday, Wacks!!!!!!!! :D-->

For those of us on a diet... Guide to Sex & Calories It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World, here are the true caloric benefits of sex. REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With consent....................... 12 Calories Without consent.................... 187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands........................ 8 Calories With one hand.......................... 12 Calories With your teeth........................ 85 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection....................... 6 Calories Without an erection.................... 315 Calories PRELIMINARIES: Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary............................. 12 Calories 69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories 69 standing up......................... 112 Calories Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories ORGASM: Real................................... 112 Calories False.................................. 315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...... 816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories 30-39 years............................ 80 Calories 40-49 years............................ 124 Calories 50-59 years............................ 972 Calories 60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories 70 and over.............................Death DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly................................. 32 Calories In a hurry............................. 98 Calories With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door....3521 Calories

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver one at a time and asked them to identify them by color and flavor. The children began to say: *Red...................cherry," "Yellow...............lemon," "Orange...............orange." Finally, the professor gave them all honey flavored Lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments, none of the children could identify the taste. "Well," he said, "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father. One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled "Everybody, spit them out..............they're *******s!"

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day the dachshund starts chasing butterflies, and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by. He immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,"Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him. He slinks away into the trees. "Whew,"says the leopard, "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. The dachshund saw the monkey heading after the leopard at great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made to appear a fool. He said,"Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and wonders, "What am I going to do now?" Instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says,"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard?

Yep, Steve! is right, our cat is definetly part feral....when I got her, she was one of a litter of kittens. I stood for awhile at the cage...wanted to see which kitten had the most spunk, moxy, brass...whatever euphemism fits. With four active kids, we needed a cat that isn't timid....Cecelia CERTAINLY fits the bill!!!! But she's also affectionate, rather bright, and just quirky enough to fit into THIS family!!! She has been at the vet for the last few days for shots and declawing....I miss her so much...can't wait to pick her up tomorrow!!!! But ya shoulda seen her when we brought Steve!'s dog home!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Cats are too cool.

OOPS, scuse me....think I'm inna WRONG thread!!!

Congratulations Ron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's wonderful news! May you have many, many happy years together!!!!!!

You got it, Mark!!!! Glad to see your posts again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved Dark Shadows, too Dot! I went to Rocky Horror Picture Show about 50 times...it wasn't about transexuals, it wasn't about cross-dressing, it wasn't about aliens...it was PURELY about FUN!!!!!!! No judgements, no spiritualism, no fear....just FUN!!!! I STILL do the time warp!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone wants an authentic Rocky Horror experience....find someone who has done it many times and go with em....if you don't have a problem with judging stereotypes....it's a BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I STILL love it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, got your email Rottie....once we set the date, we will reply via email.

Don't you worry your cute little haid bout it, Psalmster....Ima gonna do a bait n switch on da bahr....at the last moment, I switch the flying piggy for spam wif some feathers stuck in it!!!! (sssshhhhhhh, don't tell him!!!!!!! )

Stevey, darling....Grizz ain't a sore loser...he's just hongry fer roast piggy, dontchaknow!!!!!

Aw, go chase a flying pig, bahr!!!! :D--> There ARE no originals...er....I mean ancient menus, I believe this is just an attempt to bring attention OFF Of the one true topic and on to Glory. Who is this chick, Glory, ennywayz????

Excuse me while I puke.....blearrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh

We've set up a special email account, just for the occasion! Just send us an email to that account and we'll include you on our mailing list for invitations to da P-A-R-T-Y!!!!! GSWeddingOne@yahoo.com (on account of we're the FIRST Greasespot wedding, chas and mathman and anna and da bear were Waydale!!! ....hey Paw...how bout t-shirts ta celebrate da occasion????) :D-->

btw...Pirate..do you know of anywhere that we can get that blessing onna picture or something? It's beautiful! Chatty...LOVED the Eliot quote!!! Keith...thank you! was glad to see your wishes added here!!! Zixy-baby...i think i found my match...can't get away wif nuffin (and boy is it fun!!!!) Chum...you da bestest!!! Mandi...thank you so much!!! ex...why we're oopsficiating our OWN ceremony, of course!!!!!! (kidding) Plasma....thanks, doll!!! ... SPLAT!!!!....(that was wedding cake!!!!!!!) Kit...thanks for the cake...may we have another???? OCD...naw, we don't need luck...got each other!!! Shaz...thanks, gf!!! Kay...la chiam!!!! Adios...he sure IS the best!!!!

Thanks so much for your warm thoughts and congratulations! (actually congratulations to the gal in THIS case are warranted...I'm marrying the finest man I have ever met) Life is better than it's ever been, and continues to get even better...(hard ta believe)...every loving day! Thanks to everyone for the loving words! And Oak....we'll always have Burger King ;)-->

These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the dangs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] 12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. 16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

A good-looking man walked into an agents office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie-star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway....he had all the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis Van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name." "I will NOT change my name! The Van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever !" The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years...you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian !!!! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name, or I will not be able to represent you." "So be it!! We will not do business together," the guy said...and he left the agent's office. FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is flabbergasted...who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...... Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood. You told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with the name given me at birth, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice. Sincerely, Dick Van Dyke

Did you know Santas reindeer are all females? Both female and male reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November, to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santas reindeer, every single one of them from Rudolph to Blitzen has to be female. But We should have known that. Only woman would be able to drag a fat *** old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Sudo, That last song didn't get the rave reviews and all-out merriment of your last diddy....but if you can come up with an xmas song about ex's, I predict you will take the prize this holiday season!!!! The merriest of xmasses to you and yours, Sudo!!! Chinny and the chinettes