J0nny Ling0

Well, I have had some experience with a Vegan gal who is a teacher at the school that all my children went to in Haines, Alaska. She was a science teacher, but used her classroom as a "pulpit" to preach Veganism to the kids. When I found some of the material that she was foisting upon the kids in her underhanded manner (info that "hunters were murderers with a "fetish for slaughter"), I came un-glued. But instead of going off half cocked, I made a transcript of a tape that she had sent home with my son, and then did a "book report" on it, underlining the dishonesty and obvious political opinions which had no place in a science class. Then I made copies of the transcript, my "book report" on said transcript, and then mailed copies to every memeber of the Haines school board, including the principal and the school superintendant, and her, one Miss Patty Brown. I made sure to do the CC (carbon copy) thing at the bottom of each copy so that they all knew who had received a copy (especially Miss Patty Brown!), and lo and behold! It worked! She received a stern repremand for pushing her politics on the students at the TAX PAYERS EXPENSE, and a letter was put in her file that is there to this day. Funny about all that too, because about a year ago, I saw her in a Haines bar, and we talked about our adversarial relationship over beer. It was amicable, but she held her ground on her beliefs, and I held my ground that "she was allowed to believe whatever she wants to believe, but don't push it on mine or anyone elses kids while being paid with federal and state tax dollars". She said that she would do whatever it takes to help change the mindset of the Children, and I told her that while my kids were in her school, she would always have me to deal with! And, we agreed to disagree. The good news is that I, as well as a few other parents were able to shut her down while our kids were there. but, she is still there and no doubt pushing her beliefs... P.S. The "tape" that she played for the kids and then sent home with them was a segment from a book by none other than "Tom Bodet" the Motel 6 spokesman. You know...."We'll leave the light on for ya....." He is from Homer, Alaska, and he wrote some book called "The Garage on Clear Shot". And in the book is a chapter called "Two Young Bucks In The Woods With Nothing To Do". And this chapter basically portrays a young boy who is trained by his "grease eating father and uncle" to go forth and slaughter deer" with, amazingly a "weapon of mass destruction". This incident occurred before 9/11/2001 by the way. It is very well written, and very easily can capture the heart of a child whoreads it and then feels bad because the young boy in the book, in the end of the chapter, shoots and kills a young buck.....And the young buck who falls dead to the ground hits his head at the same time as the stunned young human boy's head hits the ground because he has passed out because of the traumatic grief he experienced by murdering the deer....Two Young Bucks In The Woods, With Nothing To Do...." And so...fuggem. Get after 'em and stay after 'em and don't let up, because they won't... Oh, sorry Psalmie. I wasn't thinking. But the bears up here really love bacon grease. Maybe because bears are related to pigs?

Ummm For all of you here speaking your mind about the logic of using wild game for food and catching fish for food, as well as the individual who pointed out that in the Animal Kingdom, there is lots of carnage going on, umm, well you are waisting your breath. That is if you plan to use this logic to make a case to the PETA people, because, logic and reason means nothing to them, for with them, it is a religion. Of course, you really weren't waisting your breath, and btw, I am in agreement with all of you, but, this is the thing that is so crazy about these folks. Logic has not a damned thing to do with their beliefs. Reason is out the window, because they are bunch of silly emotionalists who will stop at nothing to achieve their ends. Personally, I think they should all be dipped in bacon grease and then be allowed to wander Kodiak Island where the world's largest Land Carnivore/Omnivore roams and slaughters salmon and deer for their "daily bread". But, they just might end up like Timothy "Bear Scat" Treadwell who loved the bears and animals so so much...

Why thank you Socks, and, imagine my surprise when I connected to the "Harmonica Microphone Museum." My oh my the things to be found on the Net! Now that I think of it, there probably is a "Harmonica Museum" out there somewhere also. I'd better start surfin!

Yeah, I know that hot tubs are not unique to Alaska, but, having the commercial fisherman neighbor inviting us down for a "get naked hot tub party at 20 below" with his wife and my is kind of "Alaskan..........." :)

Oh and Socks and All, I use my own mike most of the time. It is made by Shure, and is known as the "Green Bullet", which is nearly round and has a volume knob on it. When I am holding it and the harmonica, you can only mostly see the cord coming out between my hands. It's pretty much strictly a blues kinda deal, and is advertised on musiciansfriend.dot com as able to deliver that "filthy Chicago blues" sound. Not dirty, but filthy. Kinda funny, that... But really, it's many times nicer to be able to step away from the mike while it is on a stand so that one can use ones hands to to make the sweet tremolo sound while "hand flappin". One guy told, me, "oh no, never use your hands for tremolo, use your throat. Using ones hands if for the inexperienced". Well, I disagree, for the tremolo that comes from the throat is more of a gnarly blues sound, whereas the sweet hand flapping sound is more for a pretty and sweet sound like one might want employ on something like Amazing Grace, Shenandoah, Red River Valley, or something like that. Fits more into the country and bluegrass scene. That's just preference in sound and style, that's all. Good to be able to do both. But, this means I will have to get another mike with a stand as well. Oh yes, also, singing into the "Green Bullet" just does not cut it compared to a regular vocal mike. What I would like to get one day is one of those big mikes like the Victors used to sing into. Those are way cool, and since my wife and kids and I like to harmonize, it would be cool to have one of those. What are they called? And for the sake of "topic", I took my wife and all my kids to see Huey Lewis And The News a couple of years ago back at Wolf Trappe Farm Park in Virginia. Great time, that...

Hey, that's really cool The Evan... I have always loved those cool African vocal harmonies when a whole bunch of these African folks sing and harmonize in a distinctly African "Bush sound". But I know Africa is huge, and I never really know who they are or what region of Africa these folks are from. The only time I've heard this sound has been in movies, and I do not know if what you are talking about is what or even close to that which I have heard before. "Tanzanian" or "Massai" huh?

Yes, I do believe that was a case of inspiration, or, "in spirit action". I was quite tickled with myself, really. Hope I didn't make Fellowgobbler too homesick though...

Good ones Cool Waters! Sounds like you made those up yourself because you know by experience! Here is one I decided to "make up" because it happened to our nine year old a number of times this fall: "You know you are from Alaska when your child's elementary school class has to stay inside for recess because "another damned black bear is out wandering on the playground, again!", and the kids are all going; "Shoot! No kick ball! It's an other bear!" as they all stand at the window watching and yelling; "get outa here bear"! But even if the bear leaves, the kids still hafta stay inside, for the teachers know that the bear may not have gone far..... Oh, and here's another; "You know you are from Alaska when you are sittin naked in a hot tub on the neighbors deck with your wife and his wife, and it's 20 below (and he's there too ;), but the tub is nice and hot, the beer is cold, and your hair is frozen stiff!!!"

Hi Socks. Well gee, lemme see. The brand of harps I like the most is "M. Hohner". Hohner is a German company, and makes many many different models, including the "Hohner Marine Band" which is a diatonic harmonica. In fact, the very first harmonica I ever played was a Hohner Marine Band-Now that's a funny name, for, have you ever heard the United States Marine Corps Band do "harmonica songs"? Must be a history there I don't know about, yet... Anyway, Hohner makes a harmonica model (a diatonic harp) known as the "Special 20". This is the one I like the most. It is pretty durable, diatonic for bluegrass and blues playing, and has black plastic dividing the "reed board". I like the plastic because it does not swell up if it gets wet, like the Hohner "Blues Harp" model. Those wooden dividers between the notes on a blues harp will swell up and stick out and rub the corners of ones mouth, and really get to be irritating. And, the sound isn't any better, imho... Now, there is a harmonica that has hit the scene lately known as the "Lee Oscar" by Tombo, a Japanese company. No doubt Lee Oscar himself is/was some harmonica great, although I don't know of his stuff, and the Lee Oscar is a nice harmonica, and the only one that is of comparable quality to a Hohner Special 20, imo. I have a few of them in my harmonica belt (which does not fit me any more-the leather shrunk- ), and they are nice and play well. The unique thing about them is that if a reed breaks or gets all clogged up, one can buy from Lee Oscar a new "reed plate" which costs about a third less than the cost of a brand new harmonica. And believe me, the reeds do go out! One night, while bending and sucking deeply (inhaling) on a long note, that reed broke free and imbedded itself into the roof of my mouth like a bee stinger! And so there I was, gagging and reaching into my mouth to get the danged thing out, and my partner playing the keyboards was staring at me in an alarmed manner as he continued playing, wondering just what the H had happened! And so, after I managed to yank the thing from the roof of my mouth and hold it out to him and he understood what had happened, he grinned and just shifted up from the key of A to B, and I pulled out my E harp and we almost didn't miss a thing. The crowd never noticed though.... There are two things on a player that can wear out when playing, besides the reeds. The players lungs, and the players lips. I have found that with the Lee Oscar Harmonica, my lips seem to wear out quicker than the Hohner Special 20, for, the Lee Oscar Harp itself is "fatter", and I am more used to the less fat Special 20. The "wearing out of the lips" is much like when a trumpet players lips just plain get "spent". I have played trumpet also over the years, and the feeling is similar. And the other, ones' lungs, can also get played out, for it can be extremely aerobic. But, one of the things the guy I play with has always complimented me on is my ability to "keep going all night" and not wearing out like some guys. But, when it comes to lung power, I don't think anyone can even come close to that awesome, incredible harmonica player for the Blues Travelers: John Popper. Man, that guy just plain rules! I would not be surprised if that guy is playing 32nd and 64th notes he is so fast and proficient. When he plays, I just bow and say; "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" And so, there is some harmonica info for ya. As for me, and my ability, well, drunk people are easy to please at bars, for everyone it seems, loves a harmonica... :)

Hey DMiller- We know that Alaska does not have the "corner" on cold weather. But when it comes to the amount of time this damnable weather lasts, then maybe we do! At least in America any way. Seems like it was just spring only a few months ago, and it has been snowing like hell all day! In fact, it has been ....ty and cold for at least the ten weeks! Man, how I would love to experience a nice, "Indian Summer", with crisp air in the morning, DRY leaves that change colors and then fall to the ground, and then a nice warming in the after noon... But, we are already "done" until springtime, and anything nice between now and then is a "bonus". But of course, winter sports here are lots of fun, and so we look fwd to that. Right now, our ski mountain (Eaglecrest-do a word search with Juneau included) has already begun to get a nice base.... Anyhoo, yeah, only two seasons is about right! JL

Hey there Fellowgobbler, No Turkey? No mashed potatoes and gravy with cranberry sauce on the side? No fried okra or steaming turkey stuffing cooked within the turkey itself along with some candied sweet potatos and then smothered by nice hot gravy? Pumpkin, pecan, lemon chess, mince meat, or sour cream and raisin pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top? Man, I think I'd miss alla that! Maybe, you could you have some "fried fruit bats" or somethin? Hows about some "poached platypus" with "candied kangaroo"? Or maybe some "cooked koala" and some "butchered bunny meat"? Maybe some "greasy goanna guts" on scones? Then again, if you are really hungry, you could have some......."creamed croc" on toast? Maybe some......."Diced Dingo Alfredo", or, an "Emu Omellete" with a little "Wombat Rarebit" on the side......or maybe a little....."Mashed Marsupials?" Or some....."Barbecued Bandicoot", with some "Pickled Pygmy Possum" on the side?...............Or maybe a little "Cassawary................." okay, I'll stop. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving Day in your heart! Thankful to know you! Love you Brother, "Jonny Lingo"

Sea Spiders! Sounds ghastly! What are those? Unless of course, you are talking lobsters, the distant cousin to our bodacious crustaceous King Crabs...

No no, you don't understand, I wouldn't want YOU to have a negative "toody" toward my "cooking" (smoking), because YOU are the chef, and I but a mere carpenter/merchant seaman...

I like to shrink wrap it. I have a few packages in the fridge right now. Coho. I have to thaw some and smoke some more. No like canning for some reason. Shrink wrap better. Tarzan like shrink wrap. "Food Saver" good. Canning bad... And maybe since you are Chef, and I a mere merchant seaman/carpenter, my recipe "bad". Me no want ridicule...

Thank you Jewel and thank you ExCath. Ya know Jewel, we just might know each other in that Jeff was my WOW bro in the years 76/77. In fact, I left you a private message in the private message topics doo dad...

Okay now, What is a "Florida Room"?

Here is another one I remember reading somewhere: "You know you are from Alaska when you wait for a commercial before looking out the window to see the moose or the bear in your yard". That is totally true down in Haines where I lived for almost nine years, and when it comes to black bears in Juneau, why, those damned things are as common all summer long as eagles!

"I jus said howdy to de mawnin' sun, when I set out on my mawnin' run. An den I looks up, an what'd I see? Gooses in de berries, a sqawkin at me! Hush yo mouth! You hear what I said? 'Fo I knock you all up long side de head..." by- Rev. Lonnel Johnson I can't remember the rest of it, but I just loved his book "Eyes And Ears Close To The Lips Of God". I am sure there are errors in my recitation by memory, as well as possible errors in the title of his book. But, I surely loved that man, and I am so blessed to see that he has gone on and received his doctorate, is "doctoring", and is still letting people know that God is still on the throne. Too cool! Thanks for your life Reverend Dr. Lonnel Johnson! And thanks ExCath for the link! JL

Whoaa! Now that sounds like my kind of a fine time! ;) ;) I noticed that you edited your post. Now, what else did you say but then retracted, hmmm?

Umm, yeah, that thing. Maybe this is one of those deals where God made a way for gals to continue to be "hot"?

Just for the record Belle, my friend Terry is having he 84 year old Dad over for TG Day, as well as her two sisters and their husbands. Her dad is actually a retired psychologist, and has willingly come out of retirement "for free" to help his daughter with therapy, and they are expecting to have a fine day of Thanks Giving Day this Thursday. Today was a good day for her, and she is on the "upside" at the moment, at least, since I heard from her this morning. Seems like she is gravitating toward my wife now, which I think is fine and dandy... I guess that damnable menopause thing is something they have really been relating to. What's up with alla that anyhoo? :-)

Okay Belle, you sweet thing you. I don't know how to do the "quote thing" like you do, but I'll try to answer your questions... Okay: A "moose nugget" is a pellet of moose crap. It is about the shape of a jelly bean, but about an inch long and5/8's of an inch wide, and of course is brown and composed of digested and perfectly formed excreted vegetation. Moose nuggets are usually found in fairly large piles of at least thirty or more. Certain people actually sell them to tourists by preserving them in some sort of shellac or polyurethane. They make earrings and other silly things out of them, and the tourists actually buy them... Mosquito dope is nothing more than mosquito repellent. A better choice of a word than "attire" would have been "perfume" or "cologne". The mosquitos here are way bad, and can make you crazy, so, you have to wear your mosquito "dope". The thing about someone calling you and getting the wrong number: This is just another way of saying; "Even though Alaska is the biggest state in the Union, it has such a small population, chances are that when you meet someone, you will know them, or, you will both know someone that knows each other. The example of the phone call is a bit overkill, but in a small Alaskan town, like the one we lived in (Haines), there were actually wrong number calls where we could tell the inaccurate dialer the number they actually wanted. But, this is probably true in all of America's small towns, I mean, come on... Now, one thing that is true though, is that, wherever I have gone in the State while working, even in the small Eskimo villages to the West on the Bering Sea, I Have almost always found someone who personally knows one of my friends, or vice versa. In fact, once, during the winter and during a light snow while waiting for a small single engine plane to pick me and a friend up to give us a ride to another small village where we were building house for the Eskimos, a plane came in and landed. In that plane was a lawyer making "his rounds", and he landed in Stebbins and needed to wait for a plane different than the one we were waiting for. As it turned out, he was my partners DUI lawyer, and he says casually; "Oh hi James. Fancy finding you here in Stebbins. And by the way, I have some documents to sign for your up and coming court case. And so, in the cold, and in the snow, I lent my back so James could sign the documents against my parka while his lawyer pointed out the proper places to sign. And so, because of this incident, the old adage that I have heard time and again, really "gelled" for me right then. And that old adage is this: "Alaska, America's largest small town....." A Spenard divorce is nothing more than a murder down in Spenard Street where all the whores hang out. Either a guy loses his wife because she finds out he was with a hooker, or, his wife shoots him for it once she finds out about it. But, this isn't particularly Alaskan, except for the "Spenard" part, and maybe the trigger happy part. There is a lake known as Lake Spenard, and that old rock 'n roll band "The Youngbloods" actually did a song called "On Beautiful Lake Spenard". Lake Spenard and Spenard Street are both in Anchorage, one of the meanest little cities in America, a city of only 300,000, and our biggest.... How do they grow pot in all of that snow? Actually, they don't. Because Alaska has a short growing season, "Alaska reefer inclined horticulturists" grow their pot in green houses "hydroponically", and have become quite good at producing some of the best reefer I have ever tried, and "MTF" is known for it's potency even outside of Alaska. There is a "brand known as "Matanuska Thunder ****" (MTF), grown in the Matanuska Valley. I quit smoking pot back in '74, but on a whim, when a pipe was passed my way about a year ago, I thought; "Oh well, wtf? And took a hit. And man! It was way more powerful than any reefer that I ever tried, ever. In fact, it made me so stoned I had to ask God to "turn me off", for I did not like it at all. It reminded me of why I quit that sh i t . Cool Chef, I have fifty pounds of fresh flash frozen Coho in my freezer, ready to be smoked, and a few of them grilled with alder chips and my wife's "special sauce" of brown sugar, soy sauce, and certain other seasonings, and, that is our winter stash....Mmmmmm And so, I hope that answers some questions.... JL

You Know You're From Alaska When... "Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net You measure distance in hours. You know several people who have hit a moose. Your school classes aren't cancelled because of cold. Your school classes were canceled because of ice. You think of the major four food groups as moose, caribou, beer, and squaw candy. You think that moose season is a national holiday. You know what a real sockeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones. You know if another Alaskan is from the city or the village as soon as they open their mouth. You can spell words like Chatanika, Ninilchik, and Tuntutuliak. You've had cabin fever. You own moose nugget ear rings. Mosquito dope is a part of your daily attire. You think the song Breaking Up is Hard to Do is about spring time. Travel luggage consists of ice coolers (or fish boxes) wrapped with duct tape. A seven course meal is a sixpack and a can of SPAM. When you answer the phone and it's a wrong number, but you know the number of the person they were trying to call off the top of your head. You have bigger tires on your plane than on your car. Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing blue tights and a red cap. Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come visit you, but keep asking you to come see them more often. October is the month of your highest income. The reason you don't own a poodle is because an eagle ate the last one. Kids catch the bus in the dark and get off it in the dark. You know why they named it Chicken, Alaska. You know that road flares will start a nice bon fire. You take the door off the outhouse to see the aurora. Your idea of taking a load off is emptying the firewood out of the back of the truck. You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office. You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a .357 magnum, not a lawyer. You like your neighbors. You know at least one pot grower. You put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund Dividend checks come out in October. You know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a door and walking into the yard. You know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies. You know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing to do with making hay into large cubes. You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists. You don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler. You've washed your car while there was still snow on the ground. You know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey. You know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device. You learned to swim indoors. Your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil. Your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill. You know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos. You think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on one side of the road. (Wasilla!) Your local golf course has "happy hour" between 1:00 and 2:00 am The seat in your outhouse is lined with styrofoam so your butt won't freeze to it when you have to sit down for a certain amount of time. You've had to set your alarm every three hours to go start you car and let it run for 20 minutes so hopefully it will start in the morning so you can go to work. Instead of plugging in your freezer, you've just move it to the front porch! You open your freezer to take out something for dinner, and are faced with many choices, Pink Salmon, Silver Salmon, Red Salmon, King Salmon, Smoked Salmon, or Halibut! You can play road hockey on skates. You see signs saying Do or do NOT _____ but you never see any law enforcement people. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Alaska.

And now, for the rest of the stow-ree.... I actually went right back to Gunnison in the fall of my graduating year, and was there through the whole block without being kicked out. Did a block at HQ till X-Mas, and then was sent to the Big E. I finished out the year at the Big E with Jal and the Red Dragon, and then graduated. And now for the clincher. On the first night of Corps Week with me as a Corps grad for the first time, I remember heading into the Big Top Auditorium for the opening night. And who do you think was ushering people in and trying to get them seated? None other than The Last Boy Scout, TJ. Yup, as JP used to call him "The Red Headed Stranger". But, I was excited to see him and have him see my nice WC 10 name tag, for then he would know that I graduated! That I "had come into The Corps" as he once told me that he hoped to see me do that one day; "come into The Corps". And so, as the line got closer, I noticed that my esteemed colleague Tom Ho**ocks (TJ's favorite and clone at that time from my Corps) was right in front of me. And as Tom H finally was seen by TJ, TJ broke into a wonderful smile and said something to the effect of "Well Tom! Congratulations on your graduation! Welcome to The Way Corps! I am so proud of you sir!" And even I got a little misty eyed, as I saw Tom and Tom as they embraced in genuine fellowship. And I knew I was next.! And so, as TJ directed TH off in the direction of proper seating, I was ecstatic about my next moment. And as TJ turned to me, and as recognition set in, his smiling face dropped into a look of condesencion, as he looked at me with extended hand with emerald Way Corps ring on it and said almost sadly yet ominously; "Hello Jonny. The seating will be up front where you can see the chairs filling in..." And I was dumbfounded, dashed, really shook so to speak. And I heard someone say; Hey, somebody ought to set that fella down! Looks like he's been shocked right between the eyeballs!" But, I recomposed myself, and shook it off as my limp hand slid from his. But the damage was done. I had thought that TJ would be proud of me. But noooo! I don't know, I guess he wanted me to not make it. To see me weeded out. But, being the happy go lucky guy that I always was and always will be, I shook it off and went and sat down with some friends who were seated in another section.. And so now, since my wife is familiar with the two lines "You were fishing weren't you Johnny?" And "Hello Jonny" in that ominous tone of voice, this has been a family joke for the last 23 years! Haha! If ever I am doing something I like to do, like fishing, when I come home she says; "You were fishing, weren't you Jonny!?" Hokay. End of long stow-ree. Sorry...

I loved LEAD, both times at Tinnie. I loved the challenges, the pressure, the fact that I had to control my appetite, and I loved the challenge of "being a good camp jack" and serving others around the fire and the tents when I would rather have been napping due to being physically tired. I built some great friendships during that time, and I think it was a great program. I do know that there was what I called "The People Factor" which got in the way of things that are right, but overall, during my two particular LEAD expeditions, I loved it, and was thankful for it. I still draw upon the challenges and the things I learned from it then until this very day. And so, as Forrest Gump would say; "And that's all I have to say about that...